What nobody tells you about losing weight
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People are nicer to me now that I've lost some weight and I'm not even to goal yet. I never felt like people were being mean necessarily but now I get doors held open for me more often, more smiles when I pass people in hallways, please, thank you, excuse me more just general niceties that I never realized I wasn't getting before.32
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Realizing that soon my belly won't be an arm rest anymore lol. I kept wondering why my arm was sliding down the other day....yayyyy!25
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finding clothes is not easy....3
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OneWayOnly1912 wrote: »Those rings that were always too tight are just right now!
Or too big. I need to size a few. A few years ago I inherited some of my aunt's jewelry. She had small hands and fingers. One of the rings I liked, a small emerald with diamond chips around it was too small to get even halfway down my ring finger. I recently tried it on, it's on my middle finger and could probably be sized down a little.
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OneWayOnly1912 wrote: »Those rings that were always too tight are just right now!
Or too big. I need to size a few. A few years ago I inherited some of my aunt's jewelry. She had small hands and fingers. One of the rings I liked, a small emerald with diamond chips around it was too small to get even halfway down my ring finger. I recently tried it on, it's on my middle finger and could probably be sized down a little.
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I've started bumping into people more. Not actually bumping into them physically, but causing them to change direction. For example, I'm walking in the mall and I see a group of three people walking towards me and I change direction slightly to avoid them, however they also changed direction at the same time, so I change back and they also change back, so I change again, dramatically, to avoid a collision.
The above happened multiple times during a particular week a month ago. I now believe that there exists a sub-concious rating system where people who are further away from the normal body type are expected to move more to avoid collisions. So when I was big, I learned to move and now that I'm smaller I need to move less cause others expect me to move less.
Has anyone else run into this phenomenon?
Good Luck!31 -
People are nicer to me now that I've lost some weight....
These thoughts have come to my mind, too. For me, though, I've realized that it's the confidence and peacefulness I have within myself that impacts the positive reactions in others the most.
One of the reasons I was 320 pounds (there were certainly many reasons) was because I was so very, very unhappy with myself and how I'd managed my life. I would often say to myself, "How could I let myself be like this? Why wasn't I the professional, confident woman I thought I would be?"
And at 320 pounds I felt horrible and what I reflected to the world was negativity about myself. I remember getting treated so badly by all sorts of people. However, when I became more positive in myself by realizing and claiming that I was smart, talented and yes, worthy of love and respect by all I encountered (and the weight not really changing until the past 3-4 years), I noticed my happy and confident countenance is what impacted those around me. I definitely think losing weight can be a boost in confidence and provide a lot of positive feelings and people will react to that!! It's wonderful to turn that vicious cycle of self-loathing on its head, isn't it?27 -
No one told me I would have fat dreams!! I have had a dream more than once that I was suddenly back in my size 14 jeans and they were tight on me and everything! I know it comes from the general anxiety in the back of my head that I will gain the 55 pounds back, but it's kind of weird!19
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Sp8zmanSpiff wrote: »I've started bumping into people more. Not actually bumping into them physically, but causing them to change direction. For example, I'm walking in the mall and I see a group of three people walking towards me and I change direction slightly to avoid them, however they also changed direction at the same time, so I change back and they also change back, so I change again, dramatically, to avoid a collision.
The above happened multiple times during a particular week a month ago. I now believe that there exists a sub-concious rating system where people who are further away from the normal body type are expected to move more to avoid collisions. So when I was big, I learned to move and now that I'm smaller I need to move less cause others expect me to move less.
Has anyone else run into this phenomenon?
Good Luck!
Yes, and apparently being middle aged and overweight is a double whammy and makes a person completely invisible to teenagers.
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That you would start looking for health nuts to talk to, since no one is really into health nutrition and fitness as you are. Or talks the same language.
A nice 4000 step post meal brisk walk helps alot after a f' up meal. I would share it with the people around me who say they are struggling with weight, but they are kinda hostile.
Now I'm looking forward to buying new clothes and hidding the fat that I lost it to new people.
Alot of people look at me weird when I walk past them the 4 th time where they were sitting on the front step of the hospital 'resting & digesting'.
Nobody you know is willing to start MFP calorie counting and friend you. I guess they really dont want to know the down and dirty of how your doing it. It would seem natural that someone would say "I want to know what you eat everyday." They dont. Commitment to weightloss is all internal. You gotta want it bad enough and be willing to do what it takes. Its crossing a mental line/ barrier. Maybe they think they are imposing?34 -
mazarasltm wrote: »That you would start looking for health nuts to talk to, since no one is really into health nutrition and fitness as you are. Or talks the same language.
A nice 4000 step post meal brisk walk helps alot after a f' up meal. I would share it with the people around me who say they are struggling with weight, but they are kinda hostile.
Now I'm looking forward to buying new clothes and hidding the fat that I lost it to new people.
Alot of people look at me weird when I walk past them the 4 th time where they were sitting on the front step of the hospital 'resting & digesting'.
Nobody you know is willing to start MFP calorie counting and friend you. I guess they really dont want to know the down and dirty of how your doing it. It would seem natural that someone would say "I want to know what you eat everyday." They dont. Commitment to weightloss is all internal. You gotta want it bad enough and be willing to do what it takes. Its crossing a mental line/ barrier. Maybe they think they are imposing?
Yes!! If I bring up weight loss or fitness to my overweight friends just because I want to talk about my goal, where I'm at, what has changed about my mind set, etc it's usually kind of awkward. And they always want to lose weight but not the way I'm doing it.
I agree. It's a mental barrier. I've finally gotten past it but it seems as though the people around me haven't yet. It is hard to find the balance.14 -
mazarasltm wrote: »That you would start looking for health nuts to talk to, since no one is really into health nutrition and fitness as you are. Or talks the same language.
A nice 4000 step post meal brisk walk helps alot after a f' up meal. I would share it with the people around me who say they are struggling with weight, but they are kinda hostile.
Now I'm looking forward to buying new clothes and hidding the fat that I lost it to new people.
Alot of people look at me weird when I walk past them the 4 th time where they were sitting on the front step of the hospital 'resting & digesting'.
Nobody you know is willing to start MFP calorie counting and friend you. I guess they really dont want to know the down and dirty of how your doing it. It would seem natural that someone would say "I want to know what you eat everyday." They dont. Commitment to weightloss is all internal. You gotta want it bad enough and be willing to do what it takes. Its crossing a mental line/ barrier. Maybe they think they are imposing?
Yeah, I would LOVE to have a friend IRL that was as into nutrition and exercise as I am! I want a gym buddy or at the very least someone who doesn't stare at me blankly when I start talking about calorie counts and macros. Seriously... And then the people who know you've lost weight that ask the same ridiculous questions over and over. "How'd ya do it?" and "Where do you get the energy?" Count calories and just DO IT! They don't like that answer. They want a magic bullet for the fat like it's some undead entity when, barring any medical conditions, it's just a matter of hard work and dedication.18 -
I sleep better...a lot better. When I was heavier, I likely had sleep apnea. I snored loudly, woke up frequently and occasionally stopped breathing. Once I'd lost about 50 pounds, that all stopped. I sleep pretty soundly through the night. Now at 75 pounds down, my husband says I do not snore at all anymore and I don't stop breathing. He's a lot happier about it, too. Maybe even more so than me, I think I was pretty loud. LOL
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Yeah, I would LOVE to have a friend IRL that was as into nutrition and exercise as I am! I want a gym buddy or at the very least someone who doesn't stare at me blankly when I start talking about calorie counts and macros.
Your lips to Gods ears (pick god or non god of your choice)
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I can sometimes hear my bones creak as move now. I find it a relief to have a reason to say "no" to food pushers, particularly if they are having a birthday cake at the office for someone I don't like.18
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Realizing that soon my belly won't be an arm rest anymore lol. I kept wondering why my arm was sliding down the other day....yayyyy!
lol. Been there.
A week ago or so I'd finished my run on the treadmill and stood up to just start catching my breath and I placed my hands on where my love handles had been and they slipped off and I was like "Awww I don't have my hand rests on my side anymore..." A good problem to have for sure
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I can sometimes hear my bones creak as move now. I find it a relief to have a reason to say "no" to food pushers, particularly if they are having a birthday cake at the office for someone I don't like.
Having lost weight gives me the freedom to say yes to cakes. Then I realise cake is not as good as I imagined
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Sp8zmanSpiff wrote: »I've started bumping into people more. Not actually bumping into them physically, but causing them to change direction. For example, I'm walking in the mall and I see a group of three people walking towards me and I change direction slightly to avoid them, however they also changed direction at the same time, so I change back and they also change back, so I change again, dramatically, to avoid a collision.
The above happened multiple times during a particular week a month ago. I now believe that there exists a sub-concious rating system where people who are further away from the normal body type are expected to move more to avoid collisions. So when I was big, I learned to move and now that I'm smaller I need to move less cause others expect me to move less.
Has anyone else run into this phenomenon?
Good Luck!
Yes, and apparently being middle aged and overweight is a double whammy and makes a person completely invisible to teenagers.
Can I just say "amen" to this? I think I was in my late 30's before I started feeling myself becoming invisible - or irrelevent really.....so sad! But you best know, I make sure I acknowledge and see the human inside folks my age and older! This really is unfortunate! Boo.
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Sometimes sad to realize how some folks, who had never regarded me in the past, are now making an effort to get to know me or worse yet, I sit on a couple of Non Profit Boards and now, during meetings, suddenly a few in the room are wanting to hear what I have to say.....bothersome commentary about human nature and how we treat people that are different from ourselves. Boo to that!27
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thenananator wrote: »Sometimes sad to realize how some folks, who had never regarded me in the past, are now making an effort to get to know me or worse yet, I sit on a couple of Non Profit Boards and now, during meetings, suddenly a few in the room are wanting to hear what I have to say.....bothersome commentary about human nature and how we treat people that are different from ourselves. Boo to that!
Its depressing how shallow humanity is.
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mazarasltm wrote: »That you would start looking for health nuts to talk to, since no one is really into health nutrition and fitness as you are. Or talks the same language.
A nice 4000 step post meal brisk walk helps alot after a f' up meal. I would share it with the people around me who say they are struggling with weight, but they are kinda hostile.
Now I'm looking forward to buying new clothes and hidding the fat that I lost it to new people.
Alot of people look at me weird when I walk past them the 4 th time where they were sitting on the front step of the hospital 'resting & digesting'.
Nobody you know is willing to start MFP calorie counting and friend you. I guess they really dont want to know the down and dirty of how your doing it. It would seem natural that someone would say "I want to know what you eat everyday." They dont. Commitment to weightloss is all internal. You gotta want it bad enough and be willing to do what it takes. Its crossing a mental line/ barrier. Maybe they think they are imposing?
OMG this is SO TRUE!! For like a YEAR there my friends were lamenting the fact that they never saw me or I never wanted to hang out... I just didn't have time... Between work, hubby and the kids, my Only spare time was in the gym (where I got the chance to bond with other like minded folks!! Lol), so if they couldn't meet me there, it just wasn't happening.... AND they didn't want to talk fitness and nutrition, my favorite subject!! .... Well believe it or not almost one year later two of my closer girl friends adopted the adage, "if you can't beat them JOIN THEM", and joined my gym!! They LITERALLY said, they GUESS they'll give it a shot since this is the only way they can see me consistently.. And now they are hooked too! Sometimes they talk My ear off (not really, I love it) about weight loss and "what do I think". Lol Life is SO FUNNY!
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thenananator wrote: »Sometimes sad to realize how some folks, who had never regarded me in the past, are now making an effort to get to know me or worse yet, I sit on a couple of Non Profit Boards and now, during meetings, suddenly a few in the room are wanting to hear what I have to say.....bothersome commentary about human nature and how we treat people that are different from ourselves. Boo to that!
@thenananator while it is sad it is nothing new. I remember 50+ years ago as a kid the middle of a Saturday afternoon when working in the fields I asked my dad if we could knock off from work and go into town. His reply was, "You sound like a fat man talking."
I got the message what fat people say must not be taken seriously because we did not stop working and go to town that day. I was in no way fat back then.13 -
That people will try to get you to stop losing weight before your ready to. I have had two people tell me already I don't need to lose 'much more'. I have lost 95 pounds. Even with that weight loss I still need to lose 39 more pounds to get to where I am no longer over weight. That is at the high end of a normal weight bmi.
I started this journey to go the distance. Not give up when everyone else thinks I should. I am doing this for me not them.43 -
Sp8zmanSpiff wrote: »I've started bumping into people more. Not actually bumping into them physically, but causing them to change direction. For example, I'm walking in the mall and I see a group of three people walking towards me and I change direction slightly to avoid them, however they also changed direction at the same time, so I change back and they also change back, so I change again, dramatically, to avoid a collision.
The above happened multiple times during a particular week a month ago. I now believe that there exists a sub-concious rating system where people who are further away from the normal body type are expected to move more to avoid collisions. So when I was big, I learned to move and now that I'm smaller I need to move less cause others expect me to move less.
Has anyone else run into this phenomenon?
Good Luck!
I have been experiencing something that's related to what you write here. I have a long train commute in Philadelphia, where we are experiencing a lot of equipment problems and, as a result, significant delays and schedule changes for the last several months. There are hugely significant #s of people -- imagine rush hr, holiday, the Phillies or Eagles are in the play-offs kind of crowds.
I used to do this commute when I was about 90 lbs heavier. (I'm 5'1".) I just got in line and got on board when it was my turn. Then I stopped this commute, lost weight, and am now back at it with a new job.
So, little, quiet, unobtrusive me walking around while I wait or am about to board the train: the crowds part as I approach. It's crazy. I swear I'm not doing anything but queuing up. But a significant % of heavy, overweight people stop and wait for me to get on board. People maneuver out of my way. It's noticeable. But what's also noticeable to me are a few significantly overweight people who exude a kind of aggressiveness in this situation -- like they are NOT going to be pushed aside and literally block others with their bodies -- instead of just getting in line with everyone else.
Also, people come up to me a lot of ask questions about the situation, esp new people taking a train for a first time. And I'm just standing there, headphones in my ears or reading a book. I don't chat to people; I'm pretty quiet overall ... It's not like I'm wearing a sign "Open for business" -- in fact, headphones AND a book are pretty much a "Not open for business" signal. But it doesn't matter. It's so strange the # of people who relate to me like I'm some "authority figure" or can help or they just start talking to me and seem to think I'm friendly or nice. Which I am, but I NEVER got spoken to or interrupted when I was in the 220's. Now, I'm talked to constantly.
I never really thought about people's sizes before in this way but when I started noticing, it's a pretty fascinating thing going on around me.
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I seem to have lost all sympathy for people when they complain about sore backs, or knees, hips, joints whatever, when they are obese and not willing to do anything about it. Not even wiling to try to lose weight.
Members of my own family who have seen how I was, how much I've improved even without reaching my goal yet. Drives me mad!28 -
I seem to have lost all sympathy for people when they complain about sore backs, or knees, hips, joints whatever, when they are obese and not willing to do anything about it. Not even wiling to try to lose weight.
Members of my own family who have seen how I was, how much I've improved even without reaching my goal yet. Drives me mad!
Yup a low tolerance for others bulldust is what I call it. I have deleted MFP members who constantly complain about things like "oh I am sooo bloated and feel sick after my cheat weekend ive gained 5 pounds waaahhh" ick.16 -
dramaqueen45 wrote: »No one told me I would have fat dreams!! I have had a dream more than once that I was suddenly back in my size 14 jeans and they were tight on me and everything! I know it comes from the general anxiety in the back of my head that I will gain the 55 pounds back, but it's kind of weird!
I'm the opposite, I have thin dreams. I'm always the weight I was when I modeled. Even the times I dreamed I was a guy, I was still thin.
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No one pointed out to me that if you walk to work, walk to the grocery store, walk to your appointments, walk to visit friends...eventually your geriatric 2001 Prius will be so lonely that the auxilliary battery will die and when you finally NEED the car, it will not start for you.
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louann_jude wrote: »That people will try to get you to stop losing weight before your ready to. I have had two people tell me already I don't need to lose 'much more'. I have lost 95 pounds. Even with that weight loss I still need to lose 39 more pounds to get to where I am no longer over weight. That is at the high end of a normal weight bmi.
I started this journey to go the distance. Not give up when everyone else thinks I should. I am doing this for me not them.
I am experiencing this a lot too and still have 12lbs to the top of a healthy bmi. I intend to get lower and stop when I'm comfortable with my body weight (still in the healthy range) but am so tired of hearing "you're getting to scrawny and I'm worried you aren't eating enough." I lift 3x a week and am not even close too scrawny and eat more now than ever, just better things.
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finding clothes doesn't get any easier.11
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