Girlfriend not losing weight on deficit
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Are you absolutely certain that she's logging accurately, and not sneaking food?3
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Is she interested in losing weight or is this just something YOU want her to do? She's already at a healthy weight but if she's interested then this is something perhaps she should be more involved in. Since she seems not interested, judging by her lack of participating, I'd just let it go. If you are dissatisfied with her appearance you need to get over it or move along.2
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jennifer_417 wrote: »Are you absolutely certain that she's logging accurately, and not sneaking food?
I hope she is...she's perfect and her boyfriend doesn't need to be telling her what to eat.6 -
I hope this is something she wants, and not something you have convinced her to do. I've been in that situation, and I don't take the topic lightly..
Anyway, she is at a healthy weight, and if she wants to see changes in her body then she should consider lifting some weights.3 -
To all of the pessimists on this forum - I am not trying to get her to do anything, she had a eating disorder consisting of getting extremely anxious when eating as she didnt know if it would make her gain weight, she was extreme dieting to lose weight.
I introduced her to fitnesspal under the premise -track your calories, hit 1200 for optimum fat loss, and anything under 1700 (her maintenance) will cause fat loss and that she could eat whatever, just weigh it and track it. She was so happy for 9 weeks, being able to snack on chocolate yet knowing she was losing weight... i had fixed her eating disorder... until now, the blame lies at the feet of fitnesspal who say 6 hours walking burns 500-600 cals... now shes lost confidence in the system and gone back to binge eating. So *kitten* you fitnesspal
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Oh yeah, and this is a forum for helping get a good plan, not some feminists who think all men are evil. I know shes not in bad shape and dont think she needs to lose any, she wants to and wants it to be in her control.-4
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There was another (?) user who got banned about 3 months ago or so - same MO: trying to help gf/ starts lashing out - does that sound familiar?10
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You could answer some of the really good questions asked about how she's measuring her intake (eyeballing?). If she has actually lost any weight or just "thinks" she has per your opener and if she is using her own MFP account to track?
Her losses will be slow as she's a healthy weight. 1200 is too aggressive given she is tall.
And I'm pretty sure people would question your motives regardless of gender of you or your partner, not everything is a feminist agenda. Lordy.12 -
Thank you to those qctually helping to find a solution to the problem. I think its down to the walking being overestimated.
Yes we used a digi scale and i do the same as standard so we had fun so knowing we were getting in ever better shape.
Now to try and get her back on the right track.
Anyone know the best way to measure fat loss? Measuring tape? I know scales are not good.0 -
joshsparkes wrote: »To all of the pessimists on this forum - I am not trying to get her to do anything, she had a eating disorder consisting of getting extremely anxious when eating as she didnt know if it would make her gain weight, she was extreme dieting to lose weight.
I introduced her to fitnesspal under the premise -track your calories, hit 1200 for optimum fat loss, and anything under 1700 (her maintenance) will cause fat loss and that she could eat whatever, just weigh it and track it. She was so happy for 9 weeks, being able to snack on chocolate yet knowing she was losing weight... i had fixed her eating disorder... until now, the blame lies at the feet of fitnesspal who say 6 hours walking burns 500-600 cals... now shes lost confidence in the system and gone back to binge eating. So *kitten* you fitnesspal
You keep doing that Mr. Fixit thing. You'll figger it out. This is all on YOU! You will fix her!! If you can't - then blame someone else.
For the record, I think she could/would burn 500-600 calories with six hours of walking. I don't think that's the problem. I've been using 300 cals per hour of walking (at 3.5 MPH) for nearly ten years and it has worked fine. I think it's about poor food logging, or just general poor record keeping. No one can give her a set number for exercise calories, it's about keeping good accurate food records and adjusting accordingly over a long period of time, say a couple months.
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Not me @akf, first post on here looking for advice and some of the hate and pessimism is just shocking.
@VintageFeline, nope didnt eye ball anything. If we ate out we overestimated to be safe.
How about this approach - 1400 cals - not putting in any walking calories and getting some lifting in...? Anyone?0 -
Girl friend not losing weight on deficit?
Girl friend is not on deficit.
I believe it is really that simple.14 -
Perhaps only eat some of the calories back from the walks.
I'm currently losing pretty slowly and so only see losses once a month, the week of my period. The scales is good enough for this I just have to be aware that the losses are slow. I weigh daily to track the trend and so I can catch those whooshes (whether it happens on a Tuesday or a Thursday or whatever) because I always bounce back up a pound or so afterwards for another month.)
I think you just have to trust the process. Use a measuring tape (but again, differences will be small and slow because she is already a healthy weight), progress pics, fitness progression and clothing fit.
I think she might have more fun getting into some form of strength training and seeing the change in body composition that can bring with little need to lose much weight.1 -
I would agree that walking calories are HUGELY overestimated, not just on MFP.
Read this, I use the formula in here:
http://www.runnersworld.com/peak-performance/running-v-walking-how-many-calories-will-you-burn
Online calculators are basically doubling the true number. When you hear people say 'eat back 50%' that's really an indication of how terrible the estimates are.2 -
joshsparkes wrote: »To all of the pessimists on this forum - I am not trying to get her to do anything, she had a eating disorder consisting of getting extremely anxious when eating as she didnt know if it would make her gain weight, she was extreme dieting to lose weight.
I introduced her to fitnesspal under the premise -track your calories, hit 1200 for optimum fat loss, and anything under 1700 (her maintenance) will cause fat loss and that she could eat whatever, just weigh it and track it. She was so happy for 9 weeks, being able to snack on chocolate yet knowing she was losing weight... i had fixed her eating disorder... until now, the blame lies at the feet of fitnesspal who say 6 hours walking burns 500-600 cals... now shes lost confidence in the system and gone back to binge eating. So *kitten* you fitnesspal
I'm awfully disturbed by you saying you "fixed" her eating disorder. If she truly has an eating disorder, she should go to therapy to learn strategies she can employ for life, and possibly see a registered dietitian to learn more about how her eating habits affect her body and develop a sustainable plan. If you're casually throwing that term around, that's not cool.
I'm also in the recomp camp - she may want to lose weight because she's unhappy with her appearance, but weight loss isn't going to be what changes her body in the way she wants. Strength training will. You had that experience; it will work for her too.31 -
How about actually getting a professional involved so she can solve the problem? Unless you're a mental health professional (and if you were, you would know that you can't fix this for her), you're not going to fix her eating disorder. If she's walking 6 miles daily (or 6 hours, because you've said both in different posts), only happy when she thinks she's losing weight, prone to over-restricting her calories and needs everything to be under her control, she's not in a good place.23
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joshsparkes wrote: »To all of the pessimists on this forum - I am not trying to get her to do anything, she had a eating disorder consisting of getting extremely anxious when eating as she didnt know if it would make her gain weight, she was extreme dieting to lose weight.
I introduced her to fitnesspal under the premise -track your calories, hit 1200 for optimum fat loss, and anything under 1700 (her maintenance) will cause fat loss and that she could eat whatever, just weigh it and track it. She was so happy for 9 weeks, being able to snack on chocolate yet knowing she was losing weight... i had fixed her eating disorder... until now, the blame lies at the feet of fitnesspal who say 6 hours walking burns 500-600 cals... now shes lost confidence in the system and gone back to binge eating. So *kitten* you fitnesspal
Attempting to assist a 136 pound 5'7" woman who has an eating disorder with weight loss is not fixing anything. You are doing your girlfriend a disservice and my hope is that you are a troll who is just making this up. All of your advice to your girlfriend has been terrible. That's realism, not pessimism.29 -
Maybe fixes is the wrong word... but she had no negative thoughts about food for 9 weeks, the longest ever whilst she thought she was losing weight, sounds good to me, and it was good, clearly im pissed off with this set back, I know the process works and have had to learn my own numbers, but its harder for her to trust it as she now thinks she cant lose weight eating chocolate. Its going to be tough/impossible to get her to put her faith in the system again, which is a shame because i know it works long term and is flexible.
I'lll forget the walking calories, try and get her to track and and lift weights. The challenge here is to regain her faith in MFP. Thanks for the input I think we have a plan.2 -
There is something not right about this. Are you a mental health professional?8
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joshsparkes wrote: »Thank you to those qctually helping to find a solution to the problem. I think its down to the walking being overestimated.
Yes we used a digi scale and i do the same as standard so we had fun so knowing we were getting in ever better shape.
Now to try and get her back on the right track.
Anyone know the best way to measure fat loss? Measuring tape? I know scales are not good.
The best way at home to measure body fat is likely with a decent set of calipers. They are cheap and readily available on Amazon.com. Loose skin can, however, throw that off so figure it's not 100% accurate but can get you within 1-2%. As far as what I read in this thread, I'd say as well the walking is likely over estimated. Make sure she's not estimating walking all day, if she has a job where she's on her feet all day then her activity level for her calories should be increased on her original calculations, but it shouldn't be also factored into exercise. If she's intentionally going on walks as a form of exercise she can either use an app or device to count steps or to estimate calories burned. I walk/jog a 5k six days a week and burn around 500 calories doing it, but it's almost all up hill, at a rate of 4+ mph (sometimes faster) and I even mix in body weight exercises during the walk, and even then I figure it's only about 70-80% accurate. The app I use connects to a heart rate monitor and adjusts my burn based on my heart rate during the walk, as well as takes into account my height, current weight, and age.
Water weight, especially with women (not trying to cause an uproar, but because of monthly water gain) is a problem usually. With added salt/sodium in the diet from most pre-packaged foods and/or fast foods, I'd imaging it's much harder for a woman not to have more water weight swings than a man. So keep that in mind too, you can change MFP to track sodium intake instead of sugar (sugar is default I think on the diary page). I'd suggest tracking it as best you can and seeing if she's going way over her daily amount. Tell her also not to weigh herself right before, during, or right after her period as it likely isn't going to be accurate.0 -
joshsparkes wrote: »Maybe fixes is the wrong word... but she had no negative thoughts about food for 9 weeks, the longest ever whilst she thought she was losing weight, sounds good to me, and it was good, clearly im pissed off with this set back, I know the process works and have had to learn my own numbers, but its harder for her to trust it as she now thinks she cant lose weight eating chocolate. Its going to be tough/impossible to get her to put her faith in the system again, which is a shame because i know it works long term and is flexible.
I'lll forget the walking calories, try and get her to track and and lift weights. The challenge here is to regain her faith in MFP. Thanks for the input I think we have a plan.
In my experience/observations, counting calories is not recommended for many people with eating disorders. Stop trying to fix your girlfriend. Support her in finding actual help. You are not qualified for what you are trying to do and are very likely making things worse for her long term.22 -
If you/she measures and she's this sensitive (not saying she's overly sensitive, just aware) than make sure the measurements are always in the same place. Putting the tape in a different spot can make measurements be inaccurate. I have "body markers" like moles, freckles, scars I wrote down and bring out the list when I measure. Just a suggestion.
Sounds like a professional might be needed but I know, easier said than done.
Good luck, I have NO suggestions for someone else's calorie intake. Can barely figure mine out.1 -
Hey! Weight loss isn't cut and dry. Body composition is hard to know off the bat to then decide on calorie goals. I'm 5'3" 140lbs, but I am a bodybuilder and have a lot of muscle mass. I eat 1600 cal on a training day, more if it's a heavy compound day. Tell her not to be discouraged, that it's a journey and the more she tests and experiments, the more she learns about herself in the process. Good luck!2
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joshsparkes wrote: »Maybe fixes is the wrong word... but she had no negative thoughts about food for 9 weeks, the longest ever whilst she thought she was losing weight, sounds good to me, and it was good, clearly im pissed off with this set back, I know the process works and have had to learn my own numbers, but its harder for her to trust it as she now thinks she cant lose weight eating chocolate. Its going to be tough/impossible to get her to put her faith in the system again, which is a shame because i know it works long term and is flexible.
I'lll forget the walking calories, try and get her to track and and lift weights. The challenge here is to regain her faith in MFP. Thanks for the input I think we have a plan.
Try to take a step back for a second and think about this as if you were hearing it from a stranger and not your girlfriend. (There's a reason that health professionals aren't supposed to treat family members; it's because they're too close to the person to be objective, and you are too in this case).
Everyone has negative thoughts about food from time to time; if she told you she literally has had zero negative thoughts about food for nine weeks, she's either not telling you the whole truth or she's really not aware of her thought processes. It's also not healthy for her to engage in any kind of black-and-white thinking about food (as in, "I can't lose weight while eating chocolate."). Finally, MFP is just a calculator. It's not some system that dramatically failed her, you essentially plugged in one wrong number into a calculation and didn't get the result you expected. Finding it "impossible" to trust what is basically a math problem is another sign of really disordered thinking.
It's time to be the supportive boyfriend (not the trainer or the doctor) and help her get some professional help.14 -
Chocolate cake is not bad to eat, but I would guess eating it all the time would end up having the calories be off, because my guess is people aren't really good at getting the right calorie count for cake. The problem in general is that she is probably eating more that she thinks, and burning less than she thinks.
Right, at 1200 calories per day a piece of chocolate cake can be anywhere from 25-75% of daily calories.
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cmriverside wrote: »joshsparkes wrote: »To all of the pessimists on this forum - I am not trying to get her to do anything, she had a eating disorder consisting of getting extremely anxious when eating as she didnt know if it would make her gain weight, she was extreme dieting to lose weight.
I introduced her to fitnesspal under the premise -track your calories, hit 1200 for optimum fat loss, and anything under 1700 (her maintenance) will cause fat loss and that she could eat whatever, just weigh it and track it. She was so happy for 9 weeks, being able to snack on chocolate yet knowing she was losing weight... i had fixed her eating disorder... until now, the blame lies at the feet of fitnesspal who say 6 hours walking burns 500-600 cals... now shes lost confidence in the system and gone back to binge eating. So *kitten* you fitnesspal
You keep doing that Mr. Fixit thing. You'll figger it out. This is all on YOU! You will fix her!! If you can't - then blame someone else.
For the record, I think she could/would burn 500-600 calories with six hours of walking. I don't think that's the problem. I've been using 300 cals per hour of walking (at 3.5 MPH) for nearly ten years and it has worked fine. I think it's about poor food logging, or just general poor record keeping. No one can give her a set number for exercise calories, it's about keeping good accurate food records and adjusting accordingly over a long period of time, say a couple months.
"feminist agenda" @.@ ...you don't suppose someone with an eating disorder might be lying to you about the amount of food they were eating do you Mr. Fixit? She needs really help from someone who knows how to help her.11 -
joshsparkes wrote: »Not me @akf, first post on here looking for advice and some of the hate and pessimism is just shocking.
@VintageFeline, nope didnt eye ball anything. If we ate out we overestimated to be safe.
How about this approach - 1400 cals - not putting in any walking calories and getting some lifting in...? Anyone?
Why are you supporting her to lose any weight at all.... she isn't fat...
If you want to be a good boyfriend, Google eating disorder support in your town and show them to her.7 -
joshsparkes wrote: »To all of the pessimists on this forum - I am not trying to get her to do anything, she had a eating disorder consisting of getting extremely anxious when eating as she didnt know if it would make her gain weight, she was extreme dieting to lose weight.
I introduced her to fitnesspal under the premise -track your calories, hit 1200 for optimum fat loss, and anything under 1700 (her maintenance) will cause fat loss and that she could eat whatever, just weigh it and track it. She was so happy for 9 weeks, being able to snack on chocolate yet knowing she was losing weight... i had fixed her eating disorder... until now, the blame lies at the feet of fitnesspal who say 6 hours walking burns 500-600 cals... now shes lost confidence in the system and gone back to binge eating. So *kitten* you fitnesspal
She doesn't need to be on MFP for an eating disorder. She needs to see a therapist for some treatment. Eating disorders can be life threatening. The blame doesn't lie on anyone, especially not an app, or a bunch of strangers on the internet. If you care about her, don't enable the eating disorder, and get her to a doctor.7
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