Girlfriend not losing weight on deficit
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courtneyfabulous wrote: »Well I only read the original post and a few the comments past that. Didn't bother to read every single comment but I'm guessing there's more to the story then?
I don't see what's wrong with my comment though - and were you saying "ew" and "no no no no" to my suggestions or me being 35 years old? That seems kind of weird to me either way.
@courtneyfabulous I was saying no to each piece of 'advice' as it was all wrong and/or inappropriate0 -
nosebag1212 wrote: »I would agree that walking calories are HUGELY overestimated, not just on MFP.
Read this, I use the formula in here:
http://www.runnersworld.com/peak-performance/running-v-walking-how-many-calories-will-you-burn
Online calculators are basically doubling the true number. When you hear people say 'eat back 50%' that's really an indication of how terrible the estimates are.
According to the formula here, she should burn 465 cals for walking 6 miles, not that far off op's original 500 calorie estimation
That's total, so you would have to subtract the amount of calories should normally burns through out the day from the amount of time it took her to walk those 6 miles. So if she does it in 16 minute miles that is 465 - 113 = 352. That is assuming that the 6 miles is truly on top of what she would normally do, and if that 6 miles is spread out through out the day, and at a slower pace the difference is even more.
Thanks for the calculation, been looking for something like this.0 -
Op, I'm going to change tacs.
I think that you totally meant to be helpful. I think you really believed that you COULD fix her eating disorder and wanted to. I'm sure she explained to you a completely reasonable desire to be healthier and you believed her and tried to help.
...but here's the problem. This is beyond you. This is an illness that requires professional help that you don't understand so if you really want to help her, help her nip this in the bud before it gets out of control.
Also ...nix the whole "feminist agenda" "manhater" thing. Maybe you didn't intend to sound like a controlling jerk, but you did. Maybe it was an accident, I hope it was an accident.
It was an accident if thats how it seemed. The eating disorder is pretty specific, basically, she got anxious when she didn't know if a food was going to make her put on weight, so she thought if all she ate all day was one chocolate bar - she would gain weight, because 'chocolate is bad' according to the magazines. What I told her is that you can eat any type of food you want, its the calories that determine whether you gain weight, here is MFP, a good way to track it that I have been using for years.
Now I don't think that^ is bad. Do you, all?2 -
courtneyfabulous wrote: »Calories too high
Probably not eating enough protein
High sugar or high carbohydrates cause water weight gain and increased appetite- no more chocolate cake for now, let her have chocolate protein shakes instead
Have her do more exercise than just walking (and walking doesn't burn 500 calories a day)
Make sure she sticks to proper macros not just calories
Appreciate the advice. It's the restricting of foods which she hates and says can cause her to binge, hence why I basically told her the science of weight/fat loss. I think if I start saying, dont eat that croissant - eat this chicken breast, then I'd be the controlling *kitten*, the people in this forum think I am.1 -
I'll just chime in with this. . . I have a history of an eating disorder, and to be honest, I realize that I will ALWAYS have disordered thoughts regarding food. If I say I don't, I'm not being truthful. However, MFP helps me control my anxiety because I feel it gives me more control. I went from being anorexic to binge eating, and I would NEVER admit to ANYONE just how much I binged because I embarrassed, humiliated, had deep self hatred. So I can tell you, she isn't telling you everything that is running through her head, and nothing is "fixed".
That's it, having control over what you are eating, that was the bit that helped a lot.0 -
joshsparkes wrote: »Op, I'm going to change tacs.
I think that you totally meant to be helpful. I think you really believed that you COULD fix her eating disorder and wanted to. I'm sure she explained to you a completely reasonable desire to be healthier and you believed her and tried to help.
...but here's the problem. This is beyond you. This is an illness that requires professional help that you don't understand so if you really want to help her, help her nip this in the bud before it gets out of control.
Also ...nix the whole "feminist agenda" "manhater" thing. Maybe you didn't intend to sound like a controlling jerk, but you did. Maybe it was an accident, I hope it was an accident.
It was an accident if thats how it seemed. The eating disorder is pretty specific, basically, she got anxious when she didn't know if a food was going to make her put on weight, so she thought if all she ate all day was one chocolate bar - she would gain weight, because 'chocolate is bad' according to the magazines. What I told her is that you can eat any type of food you want, its the calories that determine whether you gain weight, here is MFP, a good way to track it that I have been using for years.
Now I don't think that^ is bad. Do you, all?
It is really ***** arrogant to believe you can "fix" someone's eating disorder with a little education and a 9 week diet.
http://myfitnesspal.desk.com/customer/portal/articles/1575987-eating-disorder-resources5 -
joshsparkes wrote: »I'll just chime in with this. . . I have a history of an eating disorder, and to be honest, I realize that I will ALWAYS have disordered thoughts regarding food. If I say I don't, I'm not being truthful. However, MFP helps me control my anxiety because I feel it gives me more control. I went from being anorexic to binge eating, and I would NEVER admit to ANYONE just how much I binged because I embarrassed, humiliated, had deep self hatred. So I can tell you, she isn't telling you everything that is running through her head, and nothing is "fixed".
That's it, having control over what you are eating, that was the bit that helped a lot.
I say this as a bulimic who uses MFP to help prevent incidences of purging: knowledge only gives so much power. I know the damage purging does to my body, and I know I can control my weight by sticking within my calorie limits, but feeling overfull is a very scary thing for me where logic can fly out the window and emotions take over. I need more tools than MFP to control this.
If your girlfriend really has an eating disorder, which your limited descriptions of binging + food anxiety suggest she does, you can't "fix" it just by showing her MFP. That's already failed. Her weight loss didn't go as expected, so now she's back to where she was before. If she doesn't get help from a professional to help her deal with her emotions and compulsive behaviors concerning food, this is not going to change or get better. This is beyond your control, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner the both of you can move on to a healthier place.4 -
diannethegeek wrote: »joshsparkes wrote: »Op, I'm going to change tacs.
I think that you totally meant to be helpful. I think you really believed that you COULD fix her eating disorder and wanted to. I'm sure she explained to you a completely reasonable desire to be healthier and you believed her and tried to help.
...but here's the problem. This is beyond you. This is an illness that requires professional help that you don't understand so if you really want to help her, help her nip this in the bud before it gets out of control.
Also ...nix the whole "feminist agenda" "manhater" thing. Maybe you didn't intend to sound like a controlling jerk, but you did. Maybe it was an accident, I hope it was an accident.
It was an accident if thats how it seemed. The eating disorder is pretty specific, basically, she got anxious when she didn't know if a food was going to make her put on weight, so she thought if all she ate all day was one chocolate bar - she would gain weight, because 'chocolate is bad' according to the magazines. What I told her is that you can eat any type of food you want, its the calories that determine whether you gain weight, here is MFP, a good way to track it that I have been using for years.
Now I don't think that^ is bad. Do you, all?
It is really ***** arrogant to believe you can "fix" someone's eating disorder with a little education and a 9 week diet.
http://myfitnesspal.desk.com/customer/portal/articles/1575987-eating-disorder-resources
Arrogant and dangerous.
I'll be very clear, OP. If you love your girlfriend, you will stop this (trying to fix her, offering any advice at all re her eating disorder or eating in general) immediately and only offer your support by ensuring she has access to ED resources if/when she chooses to seek help herself.
If that sounds unacceptable to you, I submit you don't actually love her (or at least not more than yourself) and should end the relationship so she can do this very hard journey solo and without the added burden of your arrogance.
You are way out of your depth and almost certainly causing added damage to your partner.5 -
diannethegeek wrote: »joshsparkes wrote: »Op, I'm going to change tacs.
I think that you totally meant to be helpful. I think you really believed that you COULD fix her eating disorder and wanted to. I'm sure she explained to you a completely reasonable desire to be healthier and you believed her and tried to help.
...but here's the problem. This is beyond you. This is an illness that requires professional help that you don't understand so if you really want to help her, help her nip this in the bud before it gets out of control.
Also ...nix the whole "feminist agenda" "manhater" thing. Maybe you didn't intend to sound like a controlling jerk, but you did. Maybe it was an accident, I hope it was an accident.
It was an accident if thats how it seemed. The eating disorder is pretty specific, basically, she got anxious when she didn't know if a food was going to make her put on weight, so she thought if all she ate all day was one chocolate bar - she would gain weight, because 'chocolate is bad' according to the magazines. What I told her is that you can eat any type of food you want, its the calories that determine whether you gain weight, here is MFP, a good way to track it that I have been using for years.
Now I don't think that^ is bad. Do you, all?
It is really ***** arrogant to believe you can "fix" someone's eating disorder with a little education and a 9 week diet.
http://myfitnesspal.desk.com/customer/portal/articles/1575987-eating-disorder-resources
Arrogant and dangerous.
I'll be very clear, OP. If you love your girlfriend, you will stop this (trying to fix her, offering any advice at all re her eating disorder or eating in general) immediately and only offer your support by ensuring she has access to ED resources if/when she chooses to seek help herself.
If that sounds unacceptable to you, I submit you don't actually love her (or at least not more than yourself) and should end the relationship so she can do this very hard journey solo and without the added burden of your arrogance.
You are way out of your depth and almost certainly causing added damage to your partner.
1000% this..
You are doing your girlfriend a disservice by not getting her REAL help (and not people from an internet forum) and help right away. The longer you delay the longer this goes on, the longer this is gonna keep affecting her mind, her body, her emotions and her over all well being. You do not want her to go a hospital do you?
If I may be honest here, you seem very obsessed with fixing her. fixing this. You CANT.. You both undoubtedly have ensued a codependency with each other, and that is fine, that works out either through a break up or with serious time invested in healing..
But your girlfriend has an illness, and its likely going to lead to medical issues and that is not saying it lightly. Her mental, emotional and physical health are at risk. Get her into some treatment, if can't do it, talk to her family and get them involved..1 -
She does still need help because food causes her anxiety...education can only get her so far. But in the meantime, also let her know that her weight will ALWAYS go up and down regardless of what she eats because of water retention due to hormonal fluctuations. It cannot be avoided no matter how hard she works.0
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She does still need help because food causes her anxiety...education can only get her so far. But in the meantime, also let her know that her weight will ALWAYS go up and down regardless of what she eats because of water retention due to hormonal fluctuations. It cannot be avoided no matter how hard she works.
While this is accurate and would be fine to say to someone with healthy eating patterns and no significant eating issues, it can sound like a challenge to someone with an ED. (As in, "*kitten* that, I can work harder and bring it under my control").3 -
First, I'd confirm the calories needed for her resting metabolic rate. You can use a site like this: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/calrmr.htm. If she is cutting more than 200 calories from that need her body will go into starvation mode and store everything she eats. She will gain weight and then start to lose muscle as her "weight loss". Once she starts losing weight she can recalculate the RMR every 3-4 weeks. 500 calories from walking is WAY too high no matter what MFP says. That includes "being alive" calories. I would say probably only half of those are the actual "active" calories ~250. I use an Apple Watch with a heart rate monitor when I workout and it calculates the active calories vs. total calories. The active calories is what MFP pulls over and uses as my exercise burn. Good luck and I hope this helps.0
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csikes_mama wrote: »First, I'd confirm the calories needed for her resting metabolic rate. You can use a site like this: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/calrmr.htm. If she is cutting more than 200 calories from that need her body will go into starvation mode and store everything she eats. She will gain weight and then start to lose muscle as her "weight loss". Once she starts losing weight she can recalculate the RMR every 3-4 weeks. 500 calories from walking is WAY too high no matter what MFP says. That includes "being alive" calories. I would say probably only half of those are the actual "active" calories ~250. I use an Apple Watch with a heart rate monitor when I workout and it calculates the active calories vs. total calories. The active calories is what MFP pulls over and uses as my exercise burn. Good luck and I hope this helps.
Starvation mode is a myth!!!!!4 -
csikes_mama wrote: »First, I'd confirm the calories needed for her resting metabolic rate. You can use a site like this: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/calrmr.htm. If she is cutting more than 200 calories from that need her body will go into starvation mode and store everything she eats. She will gain weight and then start to lose muscle as her "weight loss". Once she starts losing weight she can recalculate the RMR every 3-4 weeks. 500 calories from walking is WAY too high no matter what MFP says. That includes "being alive" calories. I would say probably only half of those are the actual "active" calories ~250. I use an Apple Watch with a heart rate monitor when I workout and it calculates the active calories vs. total calories. The active calories is what MFP pulls over and uses as my exercise burn. Good luck and I hope this helps.
@csikes_mama The OP's girlfriend has an eating disorder according to his follow up posts. I don't feel qualified to give advice in a scenario like that. Do you?2 -
So is knowing how many calories she burns while walking...what if she was going uphill at a fast pace?1
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OP please abandon thread, you will not win them over with more explanations. You're only fueling the fire.
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OP, if you are concerned your girlfriend has an eating disorder, check this out: http://www.something-fishy.org/. If she truly does, she needs help and as a previous poster mentioned, there's more to the picture than you are seeing. Eating disorders are a serious mental health condition that require help and treatment from professionals.0
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singingflutelady wrote: »csikes_mama wrote: »First, I'd confirm the calories needed for her resting metabolic rate. You can use a site like this: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/calrmr.htm. If she is cutting more than 200 calories from that need her body will go into starvation mode and store everything she eats. She will gain weight and then start to lose muscle as her "weight loss". Once she starts losing weight she can recalculate the RMR every 3-4 weeks. 500 calories from walking is WAY too high no matter what MFP says. That includes "being alive" calories. I would say probably only half of those are the actual "active" calories ~250. I use an Apple Watch with a heart rate monitor when I workout and it calculates the active calories vs. total calories. The active calories is what MFP pulls over and uses as my exercise burn. Good luck and I hope this helps.
Starvation mode is a myth!!!!!
Adaptive thermogenesis is real, and that is normally what people mean by that term.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3673773/
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singingflutelady wrote: »csikes_mama wrote: »First, I'd confirm the calories needed for her resting metabolic rate. You can use a site like this: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/calrmr.htm. If she is cutting more than 200 calories from that need her body will go into starvation mode and store everything she eats. She will gain weight and then start to lose muscle as her "weight loss". Once she starts losing weight she can recalculate the RMR every 3-4 weeks. 500 calories from walking is WAY too high no matter what MFP says. That includes "being alive" calories. I would say probably only half of those are the actual "active" calories ~250. I use an Apple Watch with a heart rate monitor when I workout and it calculates the active calories vs. total calories. The active calories is what MFP pulls over and uses as my exercise burn. Good luck and I hope this helps.
Starvation mode is a myth!!!!!
Adaptive thermogenesis is real, and that is normally what people mean by that term.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3673773/
No that is not how it was used by this person though. The poster said she'll store everything she eats and gain weight. Nope not at all.
I disagree that most people mean adaptive thermogenesis. Adaptive thermogenesis does not stop weight loss at low calories but will slow your metabolism a bit. It definitely won't cause you to gain weight.12 -
singingflutelady wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »csikes_mama wrote: »First, I'd confirm the calories needed for her resting metabolic rate. You can use a site like this: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/calrmr.htm. If she is cutting more than 200 calories from that need her body will go into starvation mode and store everything she eats. She will gain weight and then start to lose muscle as her "weight loss". Once she starts losing weight she can recalculate the RMR every 3-4 weeks. 500 calories from walking is WAY too high no matter what MFP says. That includes "being alive" calories. I would say probably only half of those are the actual "active" calories ~250. I use an Apple Watch with a heart rate monitor when I workout and it calculates the active calories vs. total calories. The active calories is what MFP pulls over and uses as my exercise burn. Good luck and I hope this helps.
Starvation mode is a myth!!!!!
Adaptive thermogenesis is real, and that is normally what people mean by that term.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3673773/
No that is not how it was used by this person though. The poster said she'll store everything she eats and gain weight. Nope not at all.
I disagree that most people mean adaptive thermogenesis. Adaptive thermogenesis does not stop weight loss at low calories but will slow your metabolism a bit.
I agree with you that she won't store everything she eats and gain weight. I do, however, think some people do say "starvation mode" when they are actually referring to adaptive thermogenesis. I agree with you that metabolism slows down at low calories.0
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