my husband thinks that I am ungrateful
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How do I explain to my husband that a box of chocolates is an unsuitable present for a chocoholic overweight wife in the second week of a weight loss diet. Incidently I responded by eating 15 in quick succession before our birthday tea which included a raspberry and cream dessert cake made by his 92 year old mum. The outcome is 1500 Cal daily excess, an exploding tummy and a deep feeling of resentfulness. Help me!
So just so people remember, this is OP's original comment. I think we've really chased some rabbits here xD
OP - Freeze the rest for treats, thank your husband for caring and giving you a gift, communicate it's not that you're ungrateful, but you're just concerned about self control, and suggest flowers or a healthy dinner cooked by him in a sexy outfit next time
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The resentfulness is what I picked up on, but I think the subthread about "you aren't ready" started after the sabotage comment and then the comments about "would you bring a bottle of whiskey to the local AA meeting" type comments, which weren't (mostly, at least) OP.
Anyway, communication is obviously the answer to the present problem.0 -
After nearly 18 months, I'm done losing weight, 37 lbs, and now down to 115 lbs and STILL have NO willpower to say no to ice cream. So instead, I control my environment and never stock any in my house and when I need to get my weekly fix, I have to go to the store and buy just 1 or 2 pints and eat it within a few hrs. If I had a partner living with me, I would forbid them from stocking half gallon tubs of ice cream. Family members who make it harder for you to lose weight, are jerks.3
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PaulaWallaDingDong wrote: »nicholasedwards5477 wrote: »You don't have to eat them. If you don't have the willpower to resist then you're not ready to lose weight!
I can't wait to use this advice on my infant niece when she starts learning to walk. "If you're still reaching to the coffee table, you're not ready."
OP is not an infant. That really should be relevant.
EDIT:Obviously, someone with no control over their chocolate moderation has developmental milestones to reach. Just because it's character development vs. neurological development doesn't mean it isn't development. Just because someone is grown, that doesn't mean they don't still have growing to do. Everyone who has trouble losing weight faces a similar issue. What I'm saying, and what others have already said in response to that same comment, is that just because you haven't overcome every hurdle, that doesn't mean you can't continue making progress losing weight. Saying she isn't ready is absurd.
Actually with that explanation it makes a lot more sense to me what you meant.0 -
Haven't there been other posts where the wife announces that she is losing weight, then the husband very thoughtfully gives her something to assist the weight loss, or is just basically supportive ("TOO supportive, dammit!") and again, there is fury, chagrin, and fire-and-brimstone judgment raining down on the hapless husband's head from the MFP community? Or am I just making that up? It seems like this is a thing.
Anyways, I'd be careful complaining about a box of chocolates on my birthday because I'd be setting myself up for a juicer and bag of carrots for Christmas. Which, fortunately for my husband, I would find to be hilarious. (And I'd get the last laugh because I'd upgrade to a Vitamix!
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PaulaWallaDingDong wrote: »_dracarys_ wrote: »PaulaWallaDingDong wrote: »nicholasedwards5477 wrote: »You don't have to eat them. If you don't have the willpower to resist then you're not ready to lose weight!
I can't wait to use this advice on my infant niece when she starts learning to walk. "If you're still reaching to the coffee table, you're not ready."
Someone whose brain isn't fully developed vs. someone whose is...hmmmmHeartisalonelyhunter wrote: »PaulaWallaDingDong wrote: »nicholasedwards5477 wrote: »You don't have to eat them. If you don't have the willpower to resist then you're not ready to lose weight!
I can't wait to use this advice on my infant niece when she starts learning to walk. "If you're still reaching to the coffee table, you're not ready."
So now a baby reaching a developmental milestone is equivalent to someone being unable to stop thenselves stuffing their face with chocolate? Just no.
Obviously, someone with no control over their chocolate moderation has developmental milestones to reach. Just because it's character development vs. neurological development doesn't mean it isn't development. Just because someone is grown, that doesn't mean they don't still have growing to do. Everyone who has trouble losing weight faces a similar issue. What I'm saying, and what others have already said in response to that same comment, is that just because you haven't overcome every hurdle, that doesn't mean you can't continue making progress losing weight. Saying she isn't ready is absurd.Aaron_K123 wrote: »paperpudding wrote: »nicholasedwards5477 wrote: »You don't have to eat them. If you don't have the willpower to resist then you're not ready to lose weight!
That seems a really silly POV to me
Some people are ready to resist everything and others need to make baby steps getting toward that - or they have some foods which are always triggers to them and they are better off not having them in the house at all ( and nicely asking spouses to buy alternative gifts next time)
having great will power is not a goal in itself - finding a way to manage your lack of will power (eg by not having boxes of chocolates in the house) is the better approach for some people.
I disagree. Having great willpower is what makes losing weight easier. If you don't have great willpower, you should probably take steps to improve your willpower as it will benefit you greatly...not only in weightloss either but in life. In a way, taking steps to improve your willpower will better benefit your health and wellbeing than losing weight in and of itself.
Agreed but it's easier said than done! Or everyone would be thin...
Didn't say it was easy, said it was something worth working on rather than avoiding.3 -
I've noticed a trend here and on other threads. There seems to be the assumption that if someone suggests a certain approach then that person must consider that approach easy. Like it is somehow unthinkable to suggest something hard.
I realize developing willpower is hard, I realize it is easier to just try to avoid it. It isn't a question of whats the easiest its a question of what is best and in my opinion it is much better to work on your willpower and extend that control to your life (not just in eating but in other arenas) that is is to try to construct your life around the avoiding of certain things or situations.
Never said or claimed it was the easier way. But since when was easiest the same as best?13 -
nicholasedwards5477 wrote: »You don't have to eat them. If you don't have the willpower to resist then you're not ready to lose weight!
:laugh:
I eat chocolate AND am losing weight.
Your point? Rude and invalid.2 -
It seems like many people would rather you handled others (or them) with kid gloves instead of laying it on the line.Aaron_K123 wrote: »Never said or claimed it was the easier way. But since when was easiest the same as best?
Going into something thinking it will be easy helps set you up for disappointment and then failure.
Accepting that parts of this will be hard -and being reminded of it- helps to keep our goals realistic and attainable.
No one is ever going to develop willpower or self-control for you and in fact people will often sabotage your efforts, even if it is accidentally.
Taking the easy route is what got many people so far from their fitness goals in the first place.
Face it, own it and then beat it.
If you do the hard parts first then everything else will be easier, in comparison.
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cerise_noir wrote: »nicholasedwards5477 wrote: »You don't have to eat them. If you don't have the willpower to resist then you're not ready to lose weight!
:laugh:
I eat chocolate AND am losing weight.
Your point? Rude and invalid.
At first I thought it was pretty rude too. But don't you think he's right in a metaphysical way? the only way to lose weight, or maintain weight, is to resist in general. It's like saying, "If you don't have the willpower to balance, you're not ready to ride a bike." So as kids we took off the training wheels, and took our lumps on the gravel or pavement, and learned how to ride. Or...didn't.
You and I can have chocolates because at a certain point, we resist, and if you are like me, this is a skill I have worked very, very hard on, and it's not been easy, and it's not been fun, but the more I develop the skill, the better I am at it. I still fail badly from time to time, but I pick myself up, dust myself off, keep a stiff upper lip, and get back on the bike.6 -
I'd just thank him and toss it in secret. Then some days later tell him real easy future gifts could be pedicure gift certs... or whatever floats your boat. I like that he is getting you things.. It isn't the gift it is that he thought about what you like.. liked.
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As an aside, I wonder what the aggregate fitness levels are for the "tough love" camp compared to the "kid gloves" camp.
Does anyone know of any clinical trails or studies on the results with contrasting motivation styles?
After over 25 years of coaching, I am convinced that training the "willpower muscle" by practicing discipline and self-control will get you superior results compared to the easier "everyone gets a trophy for trying" but I occasionally feel like a minority on these boards.
I tell people in my training programs that I am not there to make them feel better about themselves.
I think that may be a core difference.5 -
Sometimes my husband surprises me with food I didn't want. I always say a heartfelt thank you first because I appreciate the thoughtfulness and would have very much appreciated it in different circumstances. Then I say gently, "But, I wasn't going to get this again. At least for a little while." And hug him. I might give it to our kids or ask him if he wants to take it to work, or he can have it at home (put it in a cabinet that I don't eat food from).2
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It seems like many people would rather you handled others (or them) with kid gloves instead of laying it on the line.Aaron_K123 wrote: »Never said or claimed it was the easier way. But since when was easiest the same as best?
Going into something thinking it will be easy helps set you up for disappointment and then failure.
Accepting that parts of this will be hard -and being reminded of it- helps to keep our goals realistic and attainable.
No one is ever going to develop willpower or self-control for you and in fact people will often sabotage your efforts, even if it is accidentally.
Taking the easy route is what got many people so far from their fitness goals in the first place.
Face it, own it and then beat it.
If you do the hard parts first then everything else will be easier, in comparison.
Exactly. Recognize what you struggle with and intentionally work on THAT. Don't hide from the difficult, seek it out and push against it. Be stronger.
I used to be incredibly shy. So do you know what I did about that? I listed out what situations made me uncomfortable and then intentionally did those things until they stopped making me uncomfortable. Speaking in public is scary? Volunteer to give speeches. Dancing in public is scary? Go to your local mall put on some headphones and practice your dance moves in the middle of the mall. Numb yourself to it and eventually you will wonder why it was ever such a problem for you. Sometimes you even find that things you used to fear you actually love.
People talk about improving themselves but then avoid things that are hard. Improving yourself is about identifying what you struggle with and then doing that thing over and over until you don't struggle with it anymore. If instead you try to avoid it then you will always struggle with it for the rest of your life.
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Aaron_K123 wrote: »
It seems like many people would rather you handled others (or them) with kid gloves instead of laying it on the line.Aaron_K123 wrote: »Never said or claimed it was the easier way. But since when was easiest the same as best?
Going into something thinking it will be easy helps set you up for disappointment and then failure.
Accepting that parts of this will be hard -and being reminded of it- helps to keep our goals realistic and attainable.
No one is ever going to develop willpower or self-control for you and in fact people will often sabotage your efforts, even if it is accidentally.
Taking the easy route is what got many people so far from their fitness goals in the first place.
Face it, own it and then beat it.
If you do the hard parts first then everything else will be easier, in comparison.
Exactly. Recognize what you struggle with and intentionally work on THAT. Don't hide from the difficult, seek it out and push against it. Be stronger.
I used to be incredibly shy. So do you know what I did about that? I listed out what situations made me uncomfortable and then intentionally did those things until they stopped making me uncomfortable. Speaking in public is scary? Volunteer to give speeches. Dancing in public is scary? Go to your local mall put on some headphones and practice your dance moves in the middle of the mall. Numb yourself to it and eventually you will wonder why it was ever such a problem for you. Sometimes you even find that things you used to fear you actually love.
People talk about improving themselves but then avoid things that are hard. Improving yourself is about identifying what you struggle with and then doing that thing over and over until you don't struggle with it anymore. If instead you try to avoid it then you will always struggle with it for the rest of your life.
I definitely relate and agree with this!0 -
I was in a course recently and talked about 3 zones: the comfort zone, the learning zone, and the danger zone. It suggested that the 'learning zone', as the name suggests, was where most development and learning occurred - a place beyond your safety net and the comfort of what you know, a place that pushed your boundaries into unknown and foreign territory, but one in which you still felt enough safety that you could experience and take in the situation. However, beyond that was the 'danger zone' - a place described as being so far outside of one's comfort zone, that a person would literally would shut down, impacting negatively on their ability to experience, take in, and learn from the situation.
I think these can be useful lenses for viewing situations. What can you do to push yourself into that learning zone, while respecting and acknowledging the things that might constitute the 'danger zone'? I think it's unreasonable to suggest that everybody is ready to jump straight into the danger zone, into situations that may completely overwhelm them. There's nothing wrong with baby steps, trial and error, and striving to push your edges in a way that facilitates (rather than hinders) your development and growth.
Note: These obviously change as a person, situation, etc. changes.5 -
danika2point0 wrote: »I was in a course recently and talked about 3 zones: the comfort zone, the learning zone, and the danger zone. It suggested that the 'learning zone', as the name suggests, was where most development and learning occurred - a place beyond your safety net and the comfort of what you know, a place that pushed your boundaries into unknown and foreign territory, but one in which you still felt enough safety that you could experience and take in the situation. However, beyond that was the 'danger zone' - a place described as being so far outside of one's comfort zone, that a person would literally would shut down, impacting negatively on their ability to experience, take in, and learn from the situation.
It's super trendy lately, but I keep reading about a similar concept -- lean into discomfort -- which really related to me, and it's definitely I find beneficial (although hard) too.2 -
danika2point0 wrote: »I was in a course recently and talked about 3 zones: the comfort zone, the learning zone, and the danger zone. It suggested that the 'learning zone', as the name suggests, was where most development and learning occurred - a place beyond your safety net and the comfort of what you know, a place that pushed your boundaries into unknown and foreign territory, but one in which you still felt enough safety that you could experience and take in the situation. However, beyond that was the 'danger zone' - a place described as being so far outside of one's comfort zone, that a person would literally would shut down, impacting negatively on their ability to experience, take in, and learn from the situation.
I think these can be useful lenses for viewing situations. What can you do to push yourself into that learning zone, while respecting and acknowledging the things that might constitute the 'danger zone'? I think it's unreasonable to suggest that everybody is ready to jump straight into the danger zone, into situations that may completely overwhelm them. There's nothing wrong with baby steps, trial and error, and striving to push your edges in a way that facilitates (rather than hinders) your development and growth.
Note: These obviously change as a person, situation, etc. changes.
I think I'd agree with that. Thing is though the more time you spend pushing yourself the futher away the "danger zone" becomes. If you are used to putting yourself into uncomfortable situations then it becomes harder and harder to push yourself so hard that you actually shut down. If you avoid anything difficult on a regular basis and then are confronted with difficulty you are much more likely to crumple.
Using this zone concepts language I guess I'd argue the more you put yourself into the learning zone the further and further you will get from the danger zone.
Thinking about it in terms of exercise someone who has never run tries to run then they are going to get incredibly sore even from a short run. Someone who runs all the time would have to do some pretty incredible run to actually get sore.
If you seek out discomfort then you get used to that and discomfort isn't going to tilt you. You want to be able to run without getting sore? Then go for runs as often as you can. You want to be able to be in a room with chocolate and not lose self-control and eat it all...then put yourself into rooms with chocolate as much as you can.
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@Aaron_K123 Totally. I think you have actually described it quite well, and is sort of what I meant by the added in 'note'. These zones are constantly changing as a person grows and develops. You will consistently need to push to continue to keep pushing towards the brink of your learning zone. It's not like the 'zones' are static or fixed by any means - A constantly evolving process that one can use to continuously push their edges. E.g. the bar for discomfort gets ever higher as you push and what was once in your 'learning zone' or even 'danger zone' can quickly become 'safety zone' material!0
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danika2point0 wrote: »@Aaron_K123 Totally. I think you have actually described it quite well, and is sort of what I meant by the added in 'note'. These zones are constantly changing as a person grows and develops. You will consistently need to push to continue to keep pushing towards the brink of your learning zone. It's not like the 'zones' are static or fixed by any means - A constantly evolving process that one can use to continuously push their edges. E.g. the bar for discomfort gets ever higher as you push and what was once in your 'learning zone' or even 'danger zone' can quickly become 'safety zone' material!
Agreed. In so many ways training your willpower or training your self-confidence is no different than training a muscle. It gets stronger from use and you are less likely to injure yourself if you take the time to build up some core strength.2 -
jmbmilholland wrote: »cerise_noir wrote: »nicholasedwards5477 wrote: »You don't have to eat them. If you don't have the willpower to resist then you're not ready to lose weight!
:laugh:
I eat chocolate AND am losing weight.
Your point? Rude and invalid.
At first I thought it was pretty rude too. But don't you think he's right in a metaphysical way? the only way to lose weight, or maintain weight, is to resist in general. It's like saying, "If you don't have the willpower to balance, you're not ready to ride a bike." So as kids we took off the training wheels, and took our lumps on the gravel or pavement, and learned how to ride. Or...didn't.
You and I can have chocolates because at a certain point, we resist, and if you are like me, this is a skill I have worked very, very hard on, and it's not been easy, and it's not been fun, but the more I develop the skill, the better I am at it. I still fail badly from time to time, but I pick myself up, dust myself off, keep a stiff upper lip, and get back on the bike.
To me, the post came across as "if you cannot resist at all, you're not ready to lose weight" which was a black and white way to approach this. I would have agreed with "learn from your mistake and create steps to help you on the path to moderation so you don't end up binging if you're presented with a similar situation" which would have worked better for OP considering their state of mind over the matter.
Telling someone who is obviously distraught over what happened and how they handled the situation that they are not ready because of how they handled their situation can easilly push someone with obvious binge issues into more binging. Yes, they should take full responsibility for the way they responded to the situation, but they CAN get better. It may have been that they heavily restricted calories and foods prior to the binge, too.1 -
I work with and train people who sometimes need to put themselves in harm's way, unfortunately.Aaron_K123 wrote: »I think I'd agree with that. Thing is though the more time you spend pushing yourself the futher away the "danger zone" becomes. If you are used to putting yourself into uncomfortable situations then it becomes harder and harder to push yourself so hard that you actually shut down. If you avoid anything difficult on a regular basis and then are confronted with difficulty you are much more likely to crumple.
I know how they work under pressure because I have put them under stress and they know what they are capable of under threat. My people train under those conditions.
Occasionally they have to deal with real threat situations and I am grateful that that have always been successful.
Then there are those who do not go to extra training (mine or others) or do not take their roles and responsibilities as seriously.
Those people often have not done as well when things went south, in my experience.
One individual I am thinking of quit his role the next day.
He was not injured but he was scared and he did shut down.
Fortunately one of my guys stepped in and only the bad guy was the worse for wear.
My guy deciding to go the extra mile & train harder; being used to the "danger zone" saved someone's life.
Sometimes people have to be shoved into the "danger zone" to know what they are capable of because they do not want to go very far out of their comfort zone.
Think about how some kids learn to swim: they are thrown in and issued directions.
At the time you are reacting as if your life is in mortal danger, because you don't know if your crazy uncle will jump in and save you or not.
But you learn the basics of swimming and you are no longer scared of it. Over and done with.
Now anything the swim coach tells you to do pales in comparison to Uncle Bob yelling "Kick your legs!"
Putting pretty labels on it is just another way to sugar-coat the fears and habits that hold people back from reaching their goals or their potential.
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why could you not just eat one and then bring the rest into your work place or something..?0
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I actually find this topic really interesting and I've noticed something else about it which is this.
Say someone complains that whenever they play with their kids and are bending over a lot they find their lower back hurts the next day. They ask for advice about what to do to stop their back from hurting. Lots of people might advise them that they should do some exercises like lower-back extensions to strengthen the muscles there so that when they are in situations that use those muscles they no longer struggle or become sore. It addresses the problem by helping to correct the weakness rather than by avoiding playing with children. That would be seen as totally reasonable advice to give. Someone who tells them "well just stop playing with your kids" would be considered a bit flippant and rude.
And yet. If you try to give the same advice about something concerning self-confidence or willpower people seem to look at you like you are an alien and I don't get that. Someone says they get invited out to dance with their friends but they are afraid to dance so they are annoyed with their friends. Well, a way to avoid that would be to go out dancing more until you cease to be afraid of it. Someone says they get chocolates from someone and are annoyed by it because they can't resist eating to many chocolates. Well, a way to avoid that would be to constantly expose yourself to chocolate and intentionally put it away and not eat it until you are used to that and it no longer bothers you. Both of these suggestions try to correct the weakness rather than avoid certain social situations. Yet those are the suggestions that are considered rude. In converse if someone advises you to tell everyone around you not to put you in those situations that is seen as the reasonable advice even though thats pretty much like telling someone with a weak back to avoid playing with children.
Why is one piece of advice considered good advice while the other is considered overly harsh or somehow wrong or foolish to even suggest? What is the difference between self confidence or willpower and muscle strength where one you can suggest improvement without coming across as rude and one you cannot?
For me its basically the same probelm and therefore the same advice. Oh, your lower back is weak? Well perhaps take some time to work on strengthening it. Oh, your will power is weak? Well perhaps take some time to work on strengthening it.15 -
If you received a knife would you start cutting something right away? If he bought you a gun, would you lock and load and become Rambo? It is perfectly okay to accept a present, ANY present. In fact it is the courteous and respectful thing to do. THEN when you get a chance it is also perfectly acceptable to share that gift, or to conveniently "forget" it somewhere.
The responsibility for what you decide to ingest is your burden and yours alone. NO ONE makes you eat, learn, feel... those choices are yours... accept that, or accept that you will continue to disappoint yourself. and if you choose the disappointment, then you need to reflect on WHY the person staring back at you in the mirror doesn't deserve to succeed in her aspirations... once you have had that long hard talk...you may be ready to find a path to success.2 -
Aaron_K123 wrote: »I actually find this topic really interesting and I've noticed something else about it which is this.
Say someone complains that whenever they play with their kids and are bending over a lot they find their lower back hurts the next day. They ask for advice about what to do to stop their back from hurting. Lots of people might advise them that they should do some exercises like lower-back extensions to strengthen the muscles there so that when they are in situations that use those muscles they no longer struggle or become sore. It addresses the problem by helping to correct the weakness rather than by avoiding playing with children. That would be seen as totally reasonable advice to give. Someone who tells them "well just stop playing with your kids" would be considered a bit flippant and rude.
And yet. If you try to give the same advice about something concerning self-confidence or willpower people seem to look at you like you are an alien and I don't get that. Someone says they get invited out to dance with their friends but they are afraid to dance so they are annoyed with their friends. Well, a way to avoid that would be to go out dancing more until you cease to be afraid of it. Someone says they get chocolates from someone and are annoyed by it because they can't resist eating to many chocolates. Well, a way to avoid that would be to constantly expose yourself to chocolate and intentionally put it away and not eat it until you are used to that and it no longer bothers you. Both of these suggestions try to correct the weakness rather than avoid certain social situations. Yet those are the suggestions that are considered rude. In converse if someone advises you to tell everyone around you not to put you in those situations that is seen as the reasonable advice even though thats pretty much like telling someone with a weak back to avoid playing with children.
Why is one piece of advice considered good advice while the other is considered overly harsh or somehow wrong or foolish to even suggest? What is the difference between self confidence or willpower and muscle strength where one you can suggest improvement without coming across as rude and one you cannot?
For me its basically the same probelm and therefore the same advice. Oh, your lower back is weak? Well perhaps take some time to work on strengthening it. Oh, your will power is weak? Well perhaps take some time to work on strengthening it.
that requires acknowledging personal responsibility which is, pretty much, a thing of the past these days...8 -
I think back at any time I have bettered myself at anything. Whether it is sports, school, or public speaking and it never happened without putting myself into situations where failure in some degree was definitely an option. I had to push myself and learn new skills and new attitudes. In school and public speaking it was actually pretty easy, I was uncomfortable, but I got better the more I did it, I learned what worked for me and got more efficient as well.
Sports maybe isn't as good a metaphor. Sometimes I had to go out and lose, but even when I lost I watched what the people that beat me did, I mimicked them, adapted my game. The one thing I think sports did teach me is that every time I failed I learned what I did wrong, analyzed it, and worked to correct what I was doing to avoid it happening the next time. Sometimes the other guy will win no matter what I do, but that doesn't mean I don't win next time.
As far as the OP goes, look at this as a learning opportunity. These are things that are going to happen, make a plan for them, be better next time, but realize it is you that hold the power, not your husband.1 -
Aaron_K123 wrote: »Why is one piece of advice considered good advice while the other is considered overly harsh or somehow wrong or foolish to even suggest? What is the difference between self confidence or willpower and muscle strength where one you can suggest improvement without coming across as rude and one you cannot?
For me its basically the same probelm and therefore the same advice. Oh, your lower back is weak? Well perhaps take some time to work on strengthening it. Oh, your will power is weak? Well perhaps take some time to work on strengthening it.
This is what I find so irksome about society today, people would rather coddle others and call good advice "rude" because they just don't want to own up that they have to put in the effort. I've seen a lot of people with negative mindsets, they just want to wake up and magically be skinny and then resent those who are skinny. If someone tells them to exercise or control their diet, they'll lash out and claim that it's not their fault for being so overweight, it's "genetics".
Honestly, it's so frustrating to see, especially when that kind of mindset is becoming more and more prevalent in society.1 -
Just to share a weakness I have with regards to weight management its an open buffet at parties. If I go out for dinner at a restaurant where I am handed a menu I can order something that I consider healthy and when it arrives guage the portion and eat accordingly no problem. But, if its a full buffet at a party I will grab a little here, a little there and end up overeating by some unknown amount. Does that mean I avoid buffets? Hell no, that means I go to buffets. For a while that means I'm going to be fatter than I should be but eventually I will learn how to control myself in those situations and when that happens I won't have to think about it anymore.
My overall plan is ths. I identify each weakness I have for weight management and one by one I conquer them by meeting them head-on and practicing control. Once I've knocked the last one out then I basically won't have to struggle anymore, maintenance will become more natural...there won't be situations where I tend to lose control.
If instead I tried to avoid absolutely every situation where I might lose control I'd never improve and quite frankly thats impossible so I'd keep failing and beating myself up about it later. Like I said, no way to live.2
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