How to talk to those who think I have lost enough and am getting too thin
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I've started getting this recently. I just smile and nod and move along.
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I've had that comment from two different elderly women in the past week ("I don't think you should lose any more weight, dear"). They are tiny and I look like an Amazon next to them. I just laughed--I'm not just overweight, I'm still technically obese! It's simply got to be the before/after difference (I'm at -96 lbs) that they are keying on. I just chose to be flattered that someone in the world actually thinks I'm normal looking and move on.14
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Stop talking about your weight loss.
If someone asks if you've list weight just say no and change the subject5 -
I've found giving them a LOT of details about my diet , goals, and the way I'm making sure I stay healthy will glaze over even the most concerned eyes. They tend to not bring it up again. I pull out my calorie log, show them that I'm eating over 1800 calories a day, every day (sometimes as many as 2400!), point to how I take care to meet my protein and fiber goals while watching sodium intake, and show the weekly summary and the graphs. Then I launch into exactly what my BMI calculation is, and my personal concerns with the measurement given my specific medical conditions (lupus and scoliosis), and why I've set my goals exactly where they are; well above the median weight for my height ( I really make sure I hammer on this point, that my goal weight is about 30 lbs higher than the minimally acceptable weight for my current height).
I assume if they were worried about my health, all of this detail will surely assuage them. And if they were just being rude, I've now wasted at least ten minutes of their time on an EXCEEDINGLY boring topic.54 -
I've discussed this with my doctor and he isn't worried so neither am I8
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Say oh ok and smile
And do what you want to
I didn't get this a lot, but that's basically what I did.
Oh, you think so? Thanks!
Or "you aren't trying to lose weight, are you? You don't want to get too thin." Me: "I'm just working on fitness."
Really, why do you owe them more details than that, OP?
If someone asked me my weight I'd laugh and say "seriously? I don't tell people what I weight" or otherwise jokingly brush it off and change the subject.3 -
Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »When I lost weight, and folks thought it was too much and I should stop (It wasn't ever too much) I'd say: I see me naked. I see the number on the scale. I got it. Thanks.
LOVE THIS!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ That is so me, even though I didn't come up with it.
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Thank you for so many good ideas, I really do appreciate it. As several people have commented, it is also interesting to me people feel comfortable discussing my weight now, but not before when I was rather portly!6
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Thank you for so many good ideas, I really do appreciate it. As several people have commented, it is also interesting to me people feel comfortable discussing my weight now, but not before when I was rather portly!
This has always puzzled me too. When I weighed 260 lbs no one ever said "don't get too fat now!" but now that I am 135 lbs they are perfectly happy to say "don't get too thin now!"
And I just tell them "I won't!" and change the subject. None of their business.18 -
Been there. I just say "I'm good, thanks!" , smile, & do my thing.4
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Are you talking about your weight loss, etc to other people? I ask because I've rarely if ever seen this happen unsolicited...the only time I've ever had anyone make a comment like that was when I was like, "I'd really like to drop another 5-10 Lbs" and then I'd get the whole, "you don't need to lose anymore weight" or "from where" thing...otherwise, nobody ever said anything really except the occasional, "you're looking fit."2
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cwolfman13 wrote: »Are you talking about your weight loss, etc to other people? I ask because I've rarely if ever seen this happen unsolicited...the only time I've ever had anyone make a comment like that was when I was like, "I'd really like to drop another 5-10 Lbs" and then I'd get the whole, "you don't need to lose anymore weight" or "from where" thing...otherwise, nobody ever said anything really except the occasional, "you're looking fit."
For what it's worth, I never talk about my weight loss or eating habits, and I still receive comments from friends and coworkers about how "skinny" I'm getting and that I don't need to lose any more weight. Could be a men vs. women thing. Could be a demographics thing. Who knows.5 -
It doesn't bother me honestly. It comes from a place of concern. I've remarked to my sister before about how thin she was getting.
I think it's the before and after difference that gets to people. If they met you at your CW they'd never think you were "getting too thin" but the before and after difference usually shocks people.9 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »Are you talking about your weight loss, etc to other people? I ask because I've rarely if ever seen this happen unsolicited...the only time I've ever had anyone make a comment like that was when I was like, "I'd really like to drop another 5-10 Lbs" and then I'd get the whole, "you don't need to lose anymore weight" or "from where" thing...otherwise, nobody ever said anything really except the occasional, "you're looking fit."
For what it's worth, I never talk about my weight loss or eating habits, and I still receive comments from friends and coworkers about how "skinny" I'm getting and that I don't need to lose any more weight. Could be a men vs. women thing. Could be a demographics thing. Who knows.
My experience is the same as cwolfman13's. I work with nearly all women and live in the Midwest US, where being fat is the norm. I tend to think the people who get comments are social chitchatters or people who have just never put their feet down to set solid boundaries.
Oh, say *this is not up for discussion* and leave it at that.2 -
Thank you for so many good ideas, I really do appreciate it. As several people have commented, it is also interesting to me people feel comfortable discussing my weight now, but not before when I was rather portly!
This has always puzzled me too. When I weighed 260 lbs no one ever said "don't get too fat now!" but now that I am 135 lbs they are perfectly happy to say "don't get too thin now!"
And I just tell them "I won't!" and change the subject. None of their business.
That might be the best response of all. Just say "Funny how there was nobody telling me not to get too fat when I was heavy!" and leave it at that.5 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »Are you talking about your weight loss, etc to other people? I ask because I've rarely if ever seen this happen unsolicited...the only time I've ever had anyone make a comment like that was when I was like, "I'd really like to drop another 5-10 Lbs" and then I'd get the whole, "you don't need to lose anymore weight" or "from where" thing...otherwise, nobody ever said anything really except the occasional, "you're looking fit."
I NEVER talk about my weight loss journey to anyone except immediate family. It's very personal to me, as I have lost and regained the weight before. Even when asked I say as little as possible. I have been asked on multiple occasions if I had cancer, had weight loss surgery and one charming man assumed I was having an affair because a 50 year old woman would never lose that much weight for herself! I always say I eat less and move more. That's the key.
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Heres a slightly different angle: When I was a kid, my mom said some pretty damaging things to me always followed by the statement that its best if she "tells me before anyone else does". As I grew up and realized how effed up that was I made it clear to her that any and all comments about my physical appearance were off limits, period. Now that I'm in the middle of a normal BMI for my height, she apparently feels free to make comments again such as "Look at you, you're skin and bones!" or "You don't need to lose any more weight, we won't be able to see you!". I know she thinks shes complimenting me, and being much older and wiser now I'm trying to see the bigger picture, but it still irks me no end that shes saying anything at all.
That being said, I don't acknowledge the comment and change the subject.
(Shoulda started this reply "Dear Diary" lol)10 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »Are you talking about your weight loss, etc to other people? I ask because I've rarely if ever seen this happen unsolicited...the only time I've ever had anyone make a comment like that was when I was like, "I'd really like to drop another 5-10 Lbs" and then I'd get the whole, "you don't need to lose anymore weight" or "from where" thing...otherwise, nobody ever said anything really except the occasional, "you're looking fit."
Nope, i get it from people quite often and i never talk about my weight or diet unless directly asked3 -
let your feet do the talking :-)3
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Tell them thank you for your concern but your working with your doctor and or nutritionist and they know what is best for your health. Also for your height and weight that they recommend you get to around 150 so that it takes you out of that risk level for High Blood pressure and other health related issues. I too was told I was losing to much weight because I went from 230 to currently 160 at 5.5 from a 16-18 dress a size 6. I finally tell them "THANK YOU" and laugh as I walk away.4
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