massage by a man or woman???? does it matter to you????

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  • sllm1
    sllm1 Posts: 2,114 Member
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    I've had both - the first man was creepy and made what I consider inappropriate "flirty" comments. There were other issues with him (both with me and other clients), and he got fired.

    But, having said that, I still went back again and had another male therapist at the same practice. I never considered that the problem was that he was male - it was that he was a creep. I'm sure there are creepy females as well.

    The quality of the massage is the most important thing in my book.
  • tag2013
    tag2013 Posts: 204 Member
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    I've had both and I'm fine with both. All that matters to me is how well they do their job. I like nice even pressure and pretty firm.
  • RachelElser
    RachelElser Posts: 1,049 Member
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    I'm a female and I've had male and female- it doesn't really matter to me. You could survey your clients if you want, that might be more helpful.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    I've never had a massage and likely never will but if I did, see would not matter. Same goes for doctors, including OBGYNs. I've had both male and female physicians and see has not affected my comfort level with them.
  • sbrandt37
    sbrandt37 Posts: 403 Member
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    I don't care. A massage is a massage, not a date, and my first priority is a knowledgeable masseuse with strong hands. I have had good and bad massages from both men and women.

    I would be hesitant to use gender as a basis for a hiring decision. Among other things, it is illegal to do so.

    https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sex.cfm: "The law forbids discrimination when it comes to any aspect of employment, including hiring, firing, pay, job assignments, promotions, layoff, training, fringe benefits, and any other term or condition of employment."
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    I don't have any "concerns" either way, but I prefer being massaged by a male. There's something about their hand size, or something, that just makes for a better massage, all things being equal. (I'm female).

    Off topic, but related: I generally prefer male OB GYNs too. They have generally been more open minded, in my experience, though my current one is awesome, and female.
  • helocat
    helocat Posts: 40 Member
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    Christine_72 wrote: »

    Is it normal practice to be naked for a massage?

    Not for me. It's just down to my underwear. (I am a Male) If my glut needs worked out they just work over it. I wear sport boxers so they are fitting and thin.

    Preference again is female but not saying no to a male. But the OP's question was for preference.
  • CJ_Holmes
    CJ_Holmes Posts: 759 Member
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    If I were choosing unknown therapists for a generic massage, I would always choose male, because I need a lot of pressure. That being said, my current therapist is a badass woman who works on MMA fighters, so she is hella strong and can beat the *kitten* out of me with a sports massage when I need one!
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,339 Member
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    I've had both, but I think I prefer a woman. Any time I've had a man do the job, I'm VERY aware of his hands, very aware of where he's standing the whole time, and just can't seem to relax.
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
    edited December 2016
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    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    I personally don't care. I just want someone with strong hands.

    Strong hands is the key for me as well. I've gotten many from my PT on my back, neck, shoulder areas. I love the guy that works with me he's not afraid to lean in and really give hard ones. Firm/deep muscle massages are the type I like, but they aren't for everyone. I think if you have knots and tension in your neck area etc. they feel great. Had another PT assistant do one and WHOA I thought he was going to break me into pieces. He wasn't as skilled so I had to ask him to chill a bit. I chose not to have him again.

    Now yes my experience is a bit different than most are discussing but speaking for those asking about male I say give them a chance. Men and Women can both bring it to the table, either one can give a great massage, it depends on their style and letting them know what you need/prefer. Some are simply better than others about knowing your needs by feeling the tension in your body/muscles etc. Others just have a different style.

    I never felt uncomfortable since you're never completely naked even if you're on your back and they are working on legs and arm areas. I felt more uncomfortable about weight in the past than having a guy do a massage on me. Try never to let that stop you from giving yourself some pampering... once they start you feel like you're in Heaven and likely won't give it a second thought. Either type of massage you get.
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    As an aside: The deepest, most powerful massages I ever had were from a tiny, slender, petite woman - I'd be surprised if she weighed as much as 110 pounds. She swore it was all about properly using leverage & body weight. Since then, I have no illusions that one needs a large or male MT to get a very intense massage.

  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
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    I have had both and don't care as long as they can do very strong deep tissue work. I don't care about the naked part anyway. Not like they haven't seen naked people before, and in most cases they never will see you naked if etiquette and procedure are done correctly. But I have had sheets slip in transitions sometimes and it is no biggy.
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
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    sixtyinchesoffury wrote: »
    hey there friends! I am in desperate need of general public opinion :smile:

    If you scheduled a massage would it matter to you if your therapist were a man or a woman?
    would it make no difference? would you want the option to choose ahead of time?

    I ask because I am a massage therapist (female) and need to hire another therapist to help out in my practice but I'm not sure if I should consider any sex or only females ( is that even legal? idk and part of my fear!) I have had mostly male applicants and I find myself frozen not contacting anyone for an interview. I've realized I need some feedback! I have asked a few clients and most friends/family and almost 80% say no to a male therapist. Reasons vary from my husband wouldn't be comfortable with that/I don't want a man touching me (mostly said by men)/I would think there would be a sexual component to the massage (mostly said by women).

    I've been a therapist for over 10 years so I am well aware of how amazing any therapist can be but from a business owner stand point I must consider if it's worth going through the rigors of hiring someone only to have no on book with them :-(

    Thanks smart mfp friends! I look forward to some feedback so I can move forward!

    @sixtyinchesoffury I apologize if this has already been asked. Have you checked on references to see if any clients had left comments with the guys former employees, that might help you feel more comfortable. Just a thought.
  • CJ_Holmes
    CJ_Holmes Posts: 759 Member
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    @sixtyinchesoffury I apologize if this has already been asked. Have you checked on references to see if any clients had left comments with the guys former employees, that might help you feel more comfortable. Just a thought.[/quote]

    This is a really good idea. I've had tons of massages and used to go to a clinic where you would just get whatever student was available. The most important thing was skill but there is also a "vibe" that matters. Some therapists just put you at ease and make you feel secure. Others are less confident or less empathetic/responsive. References or reviews should help you!

  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
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    Christine_72 wrote: »
    MeganAM89 wrote: »
    Before I went for my first I tried to book a massage with a woman because I'd be more comfortable being naked around one but at the time they needed to reschedule so I got a man instead. I've seen him a few times now and while I love the pressure that he uses and I appreciate how respectful he is of me I am still fully aware that I am naked under that sheet and I feel like I could forget about that if he'd been a woman.

    But I don't let that stop me from seeing him again but he's really helped sort out my back issues. Also, I'm not gonna lie, he's really, really cute.

    Is it normal practice to be naked for a massage?

    In my experience in the US it's down to underwear. Everywhere else its naked with a towel covering. Of course if you wear underwear they figure you are more modest and will ask if you want your glutes massaged.

    Much of what makes a difference in a skilled therapist is the art of conversation. These people specialize in getting people to relax, much of which is putting them at ease through artful conversation.
  • robininfl
    robininfl Posts: 1,137 Member
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    This is going to sound sexist as heyll but I strongly prefer a man as my massage therapist. Preferably gay.

    I will never again go to a male gynecologist and wanted a woman delivering my babies, no preference on hairdresser, slight preference for female doctors, most services I am completely indifferent, but always prefer male as massage therapist.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    CSARdiver wrote: »
    Christine_72 wrote: »
    MeganAM89 wrote: »
    Before I went for my first I tried to book a massage with a woman because I'd be more comfortable being naked around one but at the time they needed to reschedule so I got a man instead. I've seen him a few times now and while I love the pressure that he uses and I appreciate how respectful he is of me I am still fully aware that I am naked under that sheet and I feel like I could forget about that if he'd been a woman.

    But I don't let that stop me from seeing him again but he's really helped sort out my back issues. Also, I'm not gonna lie, he's really, really cute.

    Is it normal practice to be naked for a massage?

    In my experience in the US it's down to underwear. Everywhere else its naked with a towel covering. Of course if you wear underwear they figure you are more modest and will ask if you want your glutes massaged.

    Much of what makes a difference in a skilled therapist is the art of conversation. These people specialize in getting people to relax, much of which is putting them at ease through artful conversation.

    My experience in the U.S. has been sometimes underwear, sometimes nothing, usually "whatever you're comfortable with". My experience in England: underwear. Ireland: underwear.
  • k8eekins
    k8eekins Posts: 2,264 Member
    edited December 2016
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    sixtyinchesoffury wrote: »
    hey there friends! I am in desperate need of general public opinion :smile:

    If you scheduled a massage would it matter to you if your therapist were a man or a woman?
    would it make no difference? would you want the option to choose ahead of time?

    I ask because I am a massage therapist (female) and need to hire another therapist to help out in my practice but I'm not sure if I should consider any sex or only females ( is that even legal? idk and part of my fear!) I have had mostly male applicants and I find myself frozen not contacting anyone for an interview. I've realized I need some feedback! I have asked a few clients and most friends/family and almost 80% say no to a male therapist. Reasons vary from my husband wouldn't be comfortable with that/I don't want a man touching me (mostly said by men)/I would think there would be a sexual component to the massage (mostly said by women).

    I've been a therapist for over 10 years so I am well aware of how amazing any therapist can be but from a business owner stand point I must consider if it's worth going through the rigors of hiring someone only to have no on book with them :-(

    Thanks smart mfp friends! I look forward to some feedback so I can move forward!


    Generally from experience, I don't balk if all are female therapists. By preference I favour male therapists@strength/pressure - sports massage.

    Asked my male buddies - not one was in favour of male therapists. My mother who gets 5 hours of massage daily (inc. cupping, scraping, moxibustion, pricking), has a male therapist, only that her younger sister sits in during her sessions as a paid companion for propriety's sake.

    ETA: Mum's therapist is a Daoist Practitioner too.
  • evilokc
    evilokc Posts: 260 Member
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    Ive only ever had one and it was from a male. I dont think it makes a difference as long as they are skilled
  • WickAndArtoo
    WickAndArtoo Posts: 773 Member
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    I am a woman and have zero preference of m/f I do however thoroughly read reviews of every single service I use on every platform they can be posted. Quality is much more important to me! If the person seems creepy or annoying or strange I will not see them again regardless of gender.
  • dutchandkiwi
    dutchandkiwi Posts: 1,389 Member
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    I really don't care about gender. I do care about skill. I have had good and bad experiences with both genders.

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