Eating When Hungry vs. Sticking to a Calorie Plan

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  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,214 Member
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    Sexy septuagenarian Susan Sarandon
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tkaEpUBUQDw
  • amyr271
    amyr271 Posts: 343 Member
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    RickyCoogin wrote: »
    I started losing my hair when I was a teen so that's no issue...that's the other big reason I think I'm unattractive (I presume you were talking about malnutrition). I don't have that much existing muscle as far as I know (maybe in my legs). While I know trying to look like a stick is a bad idea, especially at my height, I don't want to look muscular. Bad enough I'm always going to be tall and broad shouldered no matter how much weight I lose.

    Last time I checked hair isn't what makes someone attractive! Plenty of women find bald guys attractive, Bruce Willis, Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham!
    And having hair doesn't mean attractive think Steve Bucimi, Marilyn Manson.....
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 9,986 Member
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    RickyCoogin wrote: »
    Physical attraction comes first. If they're not attracted to me, they won't want to bother finding out what kind of person I am.

    I want to date someone attractive. Attractive people have the privilege of being picky in who they date. It doesn't make them vain, it means they have a wider selection. A great deal of people settle for less and pretend the one they're with is the one they want, when they know it's simply all they can get.

    I don't want to date someone who thinks I look attractive as I am right now. I'm going to have a hard enough time accepting that they're going to notice the stuff I hate about how I look that I can't change.

    Most people aren't attracted to people who hate things about themselves, even if their weight is appropriate for their height. Lack of confidence is not attractive. Self-hate tends to repel people. It gets tiresome having to try to prop up their egos, and eventually you start wondering, "if he's that judgmental about himself, when he's perfectly fine, what does he think about other people who are similar or even lacking compared to him? what does he think about me?"

    I can honestly say that, except for one guy, everyone I ever dated and then broke it off with, it was because they seemed to have low opinions of themselves in one way or another, whether it was about their looks or their social skills or their financial success or their past dating success. There was nothing fun about being around people who didn't think they were worthy to be dated. (The other guy? I liked him a lot, and enjoyed spending time with him, but he seemed to be on a fast track toward life-long commitment from the get-go, despite the fact that I didn't get the feeling he was really attracted to me, physically or emotionally -- more like maybe he was settling for like instead of love, or just wanted to believe he was in love. He married someone else within the year. She was really nice, and they seemed good together -- similar values and goals, similar ideas of fun, liked each other's friends -- so I hope it was right-time, right-girl, not just a continued determination on his part to find somebody/anybody to settle down with right then.)
  • amyr271
    amyr271 Posts: 343 Member
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    RickyCoogin wrote: »
    I don't think any of those guys are attractive, they look like big meatheads. I'm embarrassed of my size and I'm hoping that losing weight will help me avoid looking like a stereotypical "big bald guy." It's bad enough people keep saying I look like a cop or a soldier. Worse, I've had people compare me to Brian Urlacher and Steve Wilkos, which, to me, is about the same as telling me I'm ugly.

    Funny you mentioned Buscemi...I commented on an article about him last week: "Say what you want about Steve Buscemi's looks...the guy has always had great hair."

    I get that you wanna look good to yourself as well but isn't it more important to be attractive to your partner? I don't find myself particularly attractive but suprisingly the things that I don't like are some of the things my boyfriend likes the most (and he told me before I voiced my opinions so I no he wasn't trying to make me feel better). Attraction is a weird thing and I personally haven't met anyone ever who is with someone because they can't do any better, which seems to be your fear.
    So you might think they look like meatheads but that woman you're looking for might think they're a piece of meat they wanna sink their teeth into
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    sarko15 wrote: »
    RickyCoogin wrote: »
    So it's not right to have preferences? Why is it wrong for someone to say, "I don't want to date a fat person because I simply don't find them attractive."

    I want someone attractive myself. I'm not about to put pictures of me online not looking my best because the woman who might not find me attractive at 260-plus may find me attractive when I'm under 200 lbs. Besides, I don't want to date a woman who finds me attractive looking as I do now.

    You can of course have preferences, but you have to admit they're shallow. And, it's not particularly common for someone to prefer someone who is unhealthy, thin or not. I think people typically prefer partners that take care of themselves. You deserve someone who likes you no matter what you weigh. If you don't do date looking like you do now, that's okay. But remember that healthy weight loss is a marathon, not a sprint. Health is the ultimate goal, and is in my opinion far more attractive than general size.

    I don't necessarily think that many fit people reject heavier people simply because they're shallow or only care about looks. I think many fit people look at someone who is not so fit and come to the conclusion (often correctly, sometimes not) that the two of them don't share the same goals, values and interests. It may simply be a compatibility thing. The fit person may be looking for an active partner who is interested in doing the same things. I think that even if you are heavier, if you are actively in the process of becoming more fit, that will appeal to many because it shows you share their interests and values, even if you aren't quite there yet. So slow down and don't rush. Don't burn out trying to do too much too fast. :)
  • ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken
    ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken Posts: 1,530 Member
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    That depends on you. For myself I know that if I am not hungry and I get stuck trying to eat food that I do not want it feels like a chore. Then I get turned off completely and end up under eating. Especially by around 7 or 8 pm. I just can't keep trying at that point unless it's liquid calories such as a glass of milk. Other people find that they can eat when they are not hungry with no problem. Another part to this is where you calories come from. Some foods provide more satiety causing one to feel very full for a long time while others seem like they are gone as soon as they are eaten. You will just need to do some trial and error to find out how this will work or if it will work for you at all.
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