Ask a mortician
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AMazing thread!!!! Read it start to finish! Last year I read a book that sounds SO similar to you, I found it on Amazon called "When ashes get in your eyes" or something like that Haha. Good read!! Except she worked in a crematorium only, no burials. So it's cool learning about the embalming and casket stuff.
Edit: It's called "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And other lessons from the crematory"2 -
Yep, I read that last year too. She seems very anti-burial. I can see the value of a family doing somethings on their own, but suicides, autopsies, and traumatic deaths aren't one of those.Tricia7188 wrote: »AMazing thread!!!! Read it start to finish! Last year I read a book that sounds SO similar to you, I found it on Amazon called "When ashes get in your eyes" or something like that Haha. Good read!! Except she worked in a crematorium only, no burials. So it's cool learning about the embalming and casket stuff.
Edit: It's called "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And other lessons from the crematory"
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I read all 11 pages of this! So interesting! I would definitely buy your book.
I have an odd question -- say someone wanted an actual mummification, could/would you accommodate that?
Also that wicker basket coffin is gorgeous.0 -
Sorry, I can only embalm and cremate.1
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »I only have one question.
What are you wearing?
Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »Have you ever met a necrophiliac? I would imagine people like that try hard to get jobs in funeral homes
As far as I know, I've never met one
Must you always wear black? Or do you sometimes "lighten up"?
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I don't have to wear black, but I prefer it over any other suit color.Black goes with everything and it's a classic. I have a lot of cute colorful tops that I wear with them.3
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"A few years ago we buried the wife of a well liked 80 year old black minister in town. At the funeral everyone praised him for being a loving and devoted husband. Six weeks later he got remarried. Thenat a funeral he preached, he was bragging about how he liked to take her out for ice cream so he would watch her lick the cone clean"
Please clarify for me...was he talking about his late wife licking a cone? Or his new wife?
Either way it's weird!0 -
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His new wifeJimb376mfp wrote: »"A few years ago we buried the wife of a well liked 80 year old black minister in town. At the funeral everyone praised him for being a loving and devoted husband. Six weeks later he got remarried. Thenat a funeral he preached, he was bragging about how he liked to take her out for ice cream so he would watch her lick the cone clean"
Please clarify for me...was he talking about his late wife licking a cone? Or his new wife?
Either way it's weird!
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Such an amazing thread! I know a bit about the pre mortuary topics since I work as a paramedic and unfortunately encounter death a fair amount. Fascinating what I didn't know about the processes and preparations before burial/cremation.
For the person who commented about preferring a closed casket and not understanding why others don't, well many people need that last look to find peace and know the person is really gone. Too many folks have heard stories about people faking their own death or committing a crime and running away to a country with no extradition. So seeing the real person deceased is needed for them to accept that they are gone. Although after working my job, I wouldn't want to see a deceased loved one, I would trust that they are really gone and not need visual proof. But I don't understand why people have a morbid fascination with seeing a dead body. More people, especially family members show up to a scene right after someone is found dead than they do to a funeral and that always bothered me. I guess it's just curiosity of the unknown. Most just appear to be pale and sleeping unless it's been awhile.
Anyway, cheers! Thank you for answering our questions.1 -
Have you ever got in a casket? I would totally do that just to check it out.0
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I watched a cremation once. It was my husband's father. My husband's sister decided she needed to be there with him and my husband decided he needed to be there for his sister so I figured great.. I need to be there for my husband. Turned out I was the only one upset by it...he was put into what appeared to be a large cardboard box and it looked like he was placed into the bowels of hell with the fire roaring ~ could've had something to do with the fact he wasn't really all that nice sometimes ;\
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Mini_Medic wrote: »Such an amazing thread! I know a bit about the pre mortuary topics since I work as a paramedic and unfortunately encounter death a fair amount. Fascinating what I didn't know about the processes and preparations before burial/cremation.
For the person who commented about preferring a closed casket and not understanding why others don't, well many people need that last look to find peace and know the person is really gone. Too many folks have heard stories about people faking their own death or committing a crime and running away to a country with no extradition. So seeing the real person deceased is needed for them to accept that they are gone. Although after working my job, I wouldn't want to see a deceased loved one, I would trust that they are really gone and not need visual proof. But I don't understand why people have a morbid fascination with seeing a dead body. More people, especially family members show up to a scene right after someone is found dead than they do to a funeral and that always bothered me. I guess it's just curiosity of the unknown. Most just appear to be pale and sleeping unless it's been awhile.
Anyway, cheers! Thank you for answering our questions.
I wonder if it's the thought of a loved one being in some strange place alone, not being comforted or taken care of, and with a bunch of strangers who do not care about them.0 -
I've never noticed any "smiles" on the corpses. Can this be accommodated if requested?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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here's one i asked my gp once and it just made her eyes cross. but maybe if you've ever embalmed a pregnant woman, you can tell me:
where do your ovaries go when you're pregnant?0 -
@Laurie6578 I've never climbed in one because with my luck the thing would tip over. The mattress is 1.5 inch piece of foam rubber, it doesn't look very comfy.
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I've never noticed any "smiles" on the corpses. Can this be accommodated if requested?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
We have no control over that. Some individuals have a naturally pleasant expression and others not so much.canadianlbs wrote: »here's one i asked my gp once and it just made her eyes cross. but maybe if you've ever embalmed a pregnant woman, you can tell me:
where do your ovaries go when you're pregnant?
I've never embalmed a pregnant woman before.1 -
I've been following this for a couple of weeks now... it's fascinating! Thank you, @LittleHearseDriver , for sharing your knowledge here - it makes the whole thing seem less scary somehow.
You mentioned puncturing the internal organs in an earlier post - why do you have to do that? Do they cause some kind of problem with the body if they're left intact?
And sort of related to that, I guess - if you did have a pregnant woman to embalm, would the foetus have to be removed first and what would be done with it in that case? Or would the doctor involved with her case have dealt with that before she came to you? Would it depend on how far along she was at the time of death?
Second question - when my dad died, for a couple of reasons it was nearly two weeks before we held his cremation. I've often wondered what the funeral home would have had to do to him to "keep" him that long, but didn't like to ask! (It was in the middle of winter, if that makes any difference, and also in the UK although I presume practices are fairly similar in all Western countries?)LittleHearseDriver wrote: »We have no control over that. Some individuals have a naturally pleasant expression and others not so much.
Oh dear... so those poor people who suffer with "resting b**ch face" are stuck with it after death too?
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@LittleHearseDriver I know you said about having an order of service for someone who's died. Have you ever had any you thought were awful? or tried to re-write?
At my Grandfather's funeral my uncle put in a diatribe about how my grandfather beat him and my dad to show he 'had conviction'.
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I've been following this for a couple of weeks now... it's fascinating! Thank you, @LittleHearseDriver , for sharing your knowledge here - it makes the whole thing seem less scary somehow.
You mentioned puncturing the internal organs in an earlier post - why do you have to do that? Do they cause some kind of problem with the body if they're left intact?
And sort of related to that, I guess - if you did have a pregnant woman to embalm, would the foetus have to be removed first and what would be done with it in that case? Or would the doctor involved with her case have dealt with that before she came to you? Would it depend on how far along she was at the time of death?
Second question - when my dad died, for a couple of reasons it was nearly two weeks before we held his cremation. I've often wondered what the funeral home would have had to do to him to "keep" him that long, but didn't like to ask! (It was in the middle of winter, if that makes any difference, and also in the UK although I presume practices are fairly similar in all Western countries?)LittleHearseDriver wrote: »We have no control over that. Some individuals have a naturally pleasant expression and others not so much.
Oh dear... so those poor people who suffer with "resting b**ch face" are stuck with it after death too?
We aspirate the abdominal cavity to remove blood, urine, and feces. Those excess fluids help the body break down faster if we do not remove them and the stomach will begin to swell (like roadkill for example).
When embalm as normal whether there is a fetus or not. We don't remove any tissue or organs,the medical examiner is responsible for that.
We have a specific room for cremations that we keep the temperature low. After a few days they will begin to smell, but we normal have all of the paperwork ready in a day or two so they usually don't have to sit around that long. If a funeral home has their own crematory, they have their own cooler for storing bodies. **Crosses fingers** I'm hoping my work will get one this year.
I've seen some interesting ones. People put the most random,unnecessary information in obituaries. Most families let us write them, but every now and then they insist on writing their own.@LittleHearseDriver I know you said about having an order of service for someone who's died. Have you ever had any you thought were awful? or tried to re-write?
At my Grandfather's funeral my uncle put in a diatribe about how my grandfather beat him and my dad to show he 'had conviction'.
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bump* cause this threat is great!0
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This is a great thread. I'm an archaeologist in the UK and have excavated lots of human remains (from Roman through to Victorian), we get the occasional cremation too, so it's interesting to read things from a different perspective! We can have a Victorian skeleton (~100 years old) who is completely decayed and a prehistoric skeleton (~3000 years old) with part of the brain still intact (true story; I know the guy that excavated it and it made headlines)!
My mum died in 2010 when I was 19 and it was traumatic for me. The people at the funeral home made everything so much easier for us and whoever embalmed my mum and did her make-up did an amazing job. Luckily she had a very peaceful expression on her face (the last time I saw her was with her mouth wide open and lots of gargling as gasses and things escaped her mouth) just after I watched her die.
I have to say thank you for this thread @LittleHearseDriver and the job you do because it impacts the families and friends in more ways than the practical side of your job.15 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »
I'm not sure, really, probably removals. I'm not a people person.0 -
This is a great thread. I'm an archaeologist in the UK and have excavated lots of human remains (from Roman through to Victorian), we get the occasional cremation too, so it's interesting to read things from a different perspective! We can have a Victorian skeleton (~100 years old) who is completely decayed and a prehistoric skeleton (~3000 years old) with part of the brain still intact (true story; I know the guy that excavated it and it made headlines)!
My mum died in 2010 when I was 19 and it was traumatic for me. The people at the funeral home made everything so much easier for us and whoever embalmed my mum and did her make-up did an amazing job. Luckily she had a very peaceful expression on her face (the last time I saw her was with her mouth wide open and lots of gargling as gasses and things escaped her mouth) just after I watched her die.
I have to say thank you for this thread @LittleHearseDriver and the job you do because it impacts the families and friends in more ways than the practical side of your job.
Making a family happy after losing someone they love means the world to me ❤LittleHearseDriver wrote: »
I'm not sure, really, probably removals. I'm not a people person.
I've gotta warn you, death isn't a 9:00-5:00 gig. You lose a lot of sleep and there are some nights when you have to go out several times. Home death calls can be gross when you see how nasty people live. And obese people are always a ton of fun- your help magically disappears when you have those.
If you're really passionate about it go to your local funeral home and speak with them. They may know a place that is hiring. The bigger thr city, the higher the demand.
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This is a great thread. I'm an archaeologist in the UK and have excavated lots of human remains (from Roman through to Victorian), we get the occasional cremation too, so it's interesting to read things from a different perspective! We can have a Victorian skeleton (~100 years old) who is completely decayed and a prehistoric skeleton (~3000 years old) with part of the brain still intact (true story; I know the guy that excavated it and it made headlines)!
Did you keep track of the Richard III discovery at Leicester? As a Ricardian (though a Brooklyn-based one!), I was excited to read about and about the results of the various examinations.
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@Motorsheen here is that memorial record that made me break down in tears last week. Folding and stapling those suckers made me want to take up drinking
[Images removed by MFP Staff]2 -
Flower girls? Funerals have flower girls?0
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This is a great thread. I'm an archaeologist in the UK and have excavated lots of human remains (from Roman through to Victorian), we get the occasional cremation too, so it's interesting to read things from a different perspective! We can have a Victorian skeleton (~100 years old) who is completely decayed and a prehistoric skeleton (~3000 years old) with part of the brain still intact (true story; I know the guy that excavated it and it made headlines)!
Did you keep track of the Richard III discovery at Leicester? As a Ricardian (though a Brooklyn-based one!), I was excited to read about and about the results of the various examinations.
It was hard to miss it. It's interesting and it's *in all probability* him but we can never be 100% sure. It's incredibly rare to be able to get and genetic data from a skeleton alone (the teeth are the best bet for isotopic analysis). I found Phillipa Langley's treatment of the excavation incredibly disrespectful but she is mental (IMO... as well as pretty much every actual archaeologist I know).
I'm a Viking Age specialist so Richard III is a bit modern for my liking haha. 2 -
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Thanks
.... I want a flower chick
Or two.0
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