Non friendly females in the gym.
Replies
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Motorsheen wrote: »jbirdgreen wrote: »So a lot of the ignoring behavior here would just be rude, except for the younger millennials.
Bless Your Heart
Don't make me punch out your liver. That's condescension around these parts.5 -
jbirdgreen wrote: »I think it's a cultural thing too. I'm from the southern U.S., so you would at least smile and nod...or make general conversational noises while you tune the other person out.
Noises like:
Unh-huh
Oh really?
That's crazy
Wow
I see
You did!
Bless your heart
Well I declare (Not really, but my grandma used that as conversational filler all the time
)
Dammit!! I thought they were paying attention!!
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jbirdgreen wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »jbirdgreen wrote: »So a lot of the ignoring behavior here would just be rude, except for the younger millennials.
Bless Your Heart
Don't make me punch out your liver. That's condescension around these parts.
I would be honored to have you punch out my liver.
Kidneys too!
Although,
Let's save my pancreas for the prom.2 -
@Motorsheen I like you. Come squat next to me. *pats rack*2
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@JaneiR36 Are they making eye contact? If not, I'm so sorry.
. 0 -
jbirdgreen wrote: »@Motorsheen I like you. Come squat next to me. *pats rack*
A girl patting her rack is my siren song, it damn sure is.
I'ma on my way!3 -
I set myself up for that one @Motorsheen. Touche, but not my rack.
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I think because it is that people (so women and men) don't know how to communicate anymore they are living in there own bubble with facebook and twitter and instagram and a lot of other social media crap.They are scared if you just say "hi" than you get a look of you are a terrorist or a word I can't mention here. People have such weird ideas these days ofcourse there happen very bad things in the world but you can't live everyday with that there are also normal fun people only if you don't let them in your live you can't meet them! Excuse for my school english because my native language is dutch.So keep doing what you do (as long it isnt insistent) and let that women (or men) go they are not worth your attention.4
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jbirdgreen wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »jbirdgreen wrote: »So a lot of the ignoring behavior here would just be rude, except for the younger millennials.
Bless Your Heart
Don't make me punch out your liver. That's condescension around these parts.
Ha! Where I live 'Bless Your Heart' means "I can't stand you and want to punch out your liver".
Took me years to figure it out. Southern people are weird.3 -
@Heartisalonelyhunter We are nice nasty. This term is mostly used for people who won't/can't eat at a potluck because they don't know kitchen situation of all the cooks. It generally means that you smile at other people while being inwardly disgusted at their filth.
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So the OP can have that if he prefers. People who make polite conversation, while wishing he would STFU and let them be.
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wolvinnetje wrote: »I think because it is that people (so women and men) don't know how to communicate anymore they are living in there own bubble with facebook and twitter and instagram and a lot of other social media crap.They are scared if you just say "hi" than you get a look of you are a terrorist or a word I can't mention here. People have such weird ideas these days ofcourse there happen very bad things in the world but you can't live everyday with that there are also normal fun people only if you don't let them in your live you can't meet them! Excuse for my school english because my native language is dutch.So keep doing what you do (as long it isnt insistent) and let that women (or men) go they are not worth your attention.
Your English is very good!
.... 1000 times better than my Dutch, that's for sure.
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Someone proposed that "people" who don't want 2 be bothered wear a sign or a shirt that says something like "Shhhhhhh ..Not right now" or u go alittle rougher with the wording if ya want & if ur Ok with people approaching u & starting random conversations,then ya don't ....1
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jbirdgreen wrote: »@Heartisalonelyhunter We are nice nasty. This term is mostly used for people who won't/can't eat at a potluck because they don't know kitchen situation of all the cooks. It generally means that you smile at other people while being inwardly disgusted at their filth.
I don't see it like that. I see it as weird bs to be honest. I live in the South but I'm a Brit and British people are pretty upfront. If we don't like something or agree with an opinion we will just say that. I just find that bizarre saccharin smile and 'bless you're heart' stuff that a lot of Southern women do utterly sickening. It's such an act.
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This isn't a man vs woman issue, if someone is attracted to you and say something to you, regardless of where you are that's fine. Conversely you have every right to end their advances. The only thing we really owe each other in this topic is respect. Respect the person who is trying to work out, find an appropriate time to say hi. Respect the person who is trying to say hi, even if you don't want their attention. Respect the answer you're being given if they don't want your attention. It isn't really about men vs women. If the person making advances is an a hole their gender doesn't have much to do with it.6
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Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »jbirdgreen wrote: »@Heartisalonelyhunter We are nice nasty. This term is mostly used for people who won't/can't eat at a potluck because they don't know kitchen situation of all the cooks. It generally means that you smile at other people while being inwardly disgusted at their filth.
I don't see it like that. I see it as weird bs to be honest. I live in the South but I'm a Brit and British people are pretty upfront. If we don't like something or agree with an opinion we will just say that. I just find that bizarre saccharin smile and 'bless you're heart' stuff that a lot of Southern women do utterly sickening. It's such an act.
I'd say it's the alternative to feeling like you're expressing disagreement or dislike ALL DAMN DAY2 -
Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »jbirdgreen wrote: »@Heartisalonelyhunter We are nice nasty. This term is mostly used for people who won't/can't eat at a potluck because they don't know kitchen situation of all the cooks. It generally means that you smile at other people while being inwardly disgusted at their filth.
I don't see it like that. I see it as weird bs to be honest. I live in the South but I'm a Brit and British people are pretty upfront. If we don't like something or agree with an opinion we will just say that. I just find that bizarre saccharin smile and 'bless you're heart' stuff that a lot of Southern women do utterly sickening. It's such an act.
I'd say it's the alternative to feeling like you're expressing disagreement or dislike ALL DAMN DAY
Well it's not. Because the person they're doing it to knows it's an act and they're effectively telling them to gtfo. The alternative would be to say nothing at all.
ETA I have northern neighbors who say the same thing. It's the strangest behavior and would get you kicked out of most civilized peoples' houses throughout the world. It's fake and rude and like living in a village of Kellyanne Conway clones2 -
Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »jbirdgreen wrote: »@Heartisalonelyhunter We are nice nasty. This term is mostly used for people who won't/can't eat at a potluck because they don't know kitchen situation of all the cooks. It generally means that you smile at other people while being inwardly disgusted at their filth.
I don't see it like that. I see it as weird bs to be honest. I live in the South but I'm a Brit and British people are pretty upfront. If we don't like something or agree with an opinion we will just say that. I just find that bizarre saccharin smile and 'bless you're heart' stuff that a lot of Southern women do utterly sickening. It's such an act.
I'd say it's the alternative to feeling like you're expressing disagreement or dislike ALL DAMN DAY
Well it's not. Because the person they're doing it to knows it's an act and they're effectively telling them to gtfo. The alternative would be to say nothing at all.
Usually using much fewer words, too!
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Motorsheen wrote: »wolvinnetje wrote: »I think because it is that people (so women and men) don't know how to communicate anymore they are living in there own bubble with facebook and twitter and instagram and a lot of other social media crap.They are scared if you just say "hi" than you get a look of you are a terrorist or a word I can't mention here. People have such weird ideas these days ofcourse there happen very bad things in the world but you can't live everyday with that there are also normal fun people only if you don't let them in your live you can't meet them! Excuse for my school english because my native language is dutch.So keep doing what you do (as long it isnt insistent) and let that women (or men) go they are not worth your attention.
Your English is very good!
.... 1000 times better than my Dutch, that's for sure.
Thank you/Dank u 0 -
serenityfrye wrote: »born_of_fire74 wrote: »For some people, talking to others is not an enjoyable activity, it is work. It takes great effort. It's not fun, it's not a good time, it's not pleasant. Expecting someone to talk to you when they don't want to is demanding and selfish. Just because you enjoy idle conversation doesn't mean that the person you are trying to engage with does. No one owes you a good time, especially if your good time makes them miserable.
Extroverts will never understand what life is like for introverts. And, while it is also true that introverts will never understand extroverts, extroverts are not usually censured for their "friendly" behaviour in the way that introverts are censured for their "unfriendly" behaviour. As well, there is a much higher expectation to be friendly placed upon women than there is men so introverted women such as myself are really in a bit of a spot, aren't we? Yet we are forced, day in and day out, to make nice against our natural proclivities in a way that extroverts (and men) simply are not--it's a pretty rare thing to be told that you are too friendly, right? Much less common than it is for me to be told that I should smile, at any rate I'm willing to bet.
The thing is, I'm at peace with a whole lot of the world believing I am a *kitten* because I have a hard time making eye contact, I won't initiate conversation with most people, I have a serious case of resting *kitten* face, and I prefer to be alone. Can you be at peace living your life without the whole world wanting to chitty-chat? You really should be.
This. RBF is a blessing for an introvert who doesn't like or isn't good at small talk. The number of times in my life some condescending man (never once a woman mind you) has told me to smile as if he were doing me a favor by reminding me my face didn't please him is ridiculous. If someone wants to say something kind then I'm happy to reply with a smile, but I'm so tired of being chided because my thinking face isn't pleasant enough apparently.
Also - I take my glasses off for a lot of lifts at the gym - so chances are if I'm appearing to ignore someone I likely legitimately didn't even see them.
RBF doesn't always work. I have it and guys always come up and ask " why aren't you smiling? Smile a bit". annoying af.6 -
Kerriecandothis wrote: »At my gym I have become friends with several people, others I just say good morning or hi or whatever. The old guys like to chat a while and the women sometimes as for advice or offer it. Some just smile in recognition. Very few people don't talk at all. But then I live in arguably the friendliest place in the UK lol.
Where's that then?
I have made pals at my gym, over the years. Mostly through being in CLASSES though, or even in the changing rooms - finding common ground with other ppl, mainly women. At first no-one made any eye-contact or said hello - that lasted for maybe a year! I think it is about familiarity, too many ppl pass through for a few weeks then change their schedule or do something different and you never see them again so ppl don't even notice you. Literally do not see you.
When you keep seeing the same ppl doing the same patterns at the same time in the week as you it is time to start smiling and sayin hi. Now I see the gym as a vital part of my social life, even though lots of the exchanges with other regulars is pretty superficial it is friendly and I enjoy that part of it. I am also pretty good mates with a few I met there, but that takes a long time.
If I was younger / more interested in men I think there would be a different "charge" about engaging with men. I hate the idea that women have to be "friendly" to anyone, but men in particular.2 -
Guarantee its an attraction thing 2 ...Alot of people are saying they don't wanna be bothered,they are there 2 work out (True) But if some cute guy or some hot female came over & said something u would find time in ur schedule 4 them ...Lmao ...Don't Lie!!!!3
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Thank U!!!!Finally someone admitted it ... (Btw ...Where do u work? Cuz I'm gonna come flirt ...Ooops...I mean workout with ya)0
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(Workout)0
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Guarantee its an attraction thing 2 ...Alot of people are saying they don't wanna be bothered,they are there 2 work out (True) But if some cute guy or some hot female came over & said something u would find time in ur schedule 4 them ...Lmao ...Don't Lie!!!!
Talking to someone I find attractive feels like even more work than talking to someone I don't find attractive. I don't like work.5 -
I'm just going up 2 every unfriendly women at the gym & give them a big,juicy hug & then sayi "Now that wasn't so bad was it." .....(Then I'm gonna whisper in their ear "Just give me a head start before u call security please " .....)3
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At the end of the day gym is a place to workout, if a female or male chats that's cool. But people (unlike myself) can be focussed hard on their routine so someone looking unfriendly to you might just be there for their workout and in the zone as such. At the same time I think seeing new folk at the gym being shown how to use equipment by fellow gym folk is a great thing to see, we are all there to better ourselves in different ways but some folk smile and nod, some put the blinkers on. Personal choice is all.0
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Guarantee its an attraction thing 2 ...Alot of people are saying they don't wanna be bothered,they are there 2 work out (True) But if some cute guy or some hot female came over & said something u would find time in ur schedule 4 them ...Lmao ...Don't Lie!!!!
Maybe only slightly more accommodating but I would get annoyed and I think there attractiveness would be diminished because they are interrupting my work out. Im still there for one thing only, to work out. Maybe if you catch me on the way out when my workout is done. Trying before my workout even would annoy me because my pre-workout would be kicking in.2 -
PersianKitty94 wrote: »serenityfrye wrote: »born_of_fire74 wrote: »For some people, talking to others is not an enjoyable activity, it is work. It takes great effort. It's not fun, it's not a good time, it's not pleasant. Expecting someone to talk to you when they don't want to is demanding and selfish. Just because you enjoy idle conversation doesn't mean that the person you are trying to engage with does. No one owes you a good time, especially if your good time makes them miserable.
Extroverts will never understand what life is like for introverts. And, while it is also true that introverts will never understand extroverts, extroverts are not usually censured for their "friendly" behaviour in the way that introverts are censured for their "unfriendly" behaviour. As well, there is a much higher expectation to be friendly placed upon women than there is men so introverted women such as myself are really in a bit of a spot, aren't we? Yet we are forced, day in and day out, to make nice against our natural proclivities in a way that extroverts (and men) simply are not--it's a pretty rare thing to be told that you are too friendly, right? Much less common than it is for me to be told that I should smile, at any rate I'm willing to bet.
The thing is, I'm at peace with a whole lot of the world believing I am a *kitten* because I have a hard time making eye contact, I won't initiate conversation with most people, I have a serious case of resting *kitten* face, and I prefer to be alone. Can you be at peace living your life without the whole world wanting to chitty-chat? You really should be.
This. RBF is a blessing for an introvert who doesn't like or isn't good at small talk. The number of times in my life some condescending man (never once a woman mind you) has told me to smile as if he were doing me a favor by reminding me my face didn't please him is ridiculous. If someone wants to say something kind then I'm happy to reply with a smile, but I'm so tired of being chided because my thinking face isn't pleasant enough apparently.
Also - I take my glasses off for a lot of lifts at the gym - so chances are if I'm appearing to ignore someone I likely legitimately didn't even see them.
RBF doesn't always work. I have it and guys always come up and ask " why aren't you smiling? Smile a bit". annoying af.
Haha yeah I've also got 'old' and 'not cute' on my side. I've never been spoken to at the gym unless someone wanted to work in. People there are pretty good about not bothering anyone wearing headphones though0
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