WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR FEBRUARY 2017
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Ah Gloriasorry about your GS issue! The only way boys put homework first is when an adult is in their personal space 24-7. So many times I have had to remind sons their JOBS. To be a student listening with their ears open and mouths closed! That teachers have a job too and when they act up in school its wasting the teachers time. My JOB was to be their mom and that's not being their friend or pal but to urge them, praise them, scold them and anything else that is in a moms job description! If getting all his favorite things on a bed and attaching rewards to them, ie if you get a C in this class you get this back etc. Its tough love to the core, but privileges are earned. Good luck friend
Becca2 -
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Marcelyn – Both my boys were 3 weeks early. There or about. DOS was due 7/4/1976; came June 16th; DYS was supposed to come in mid-September (glad not because I have problems every year of 9/16 – an anniversary of some bad times). He came 8/31/78. My DMnL had thought about going home, then coming back when he came. I already knew that I would be in the hospital for a week. Babies will come when Baby decides he wants to meet the world. With my DYS, they were not sure whether or not I might have been carrying twins. My heartrate was ‘up’ due to a thyroid issue that would be diagnosed about 9 months later. Whenever he moved, it was like a 4-point landing. DOS was a roller.
Oh, when I said (in an earlier post) my DDnL#2 had her lips and eyeliner tattooed on, I meant to say that DYS did not want her to do it again.
Gloria – I remember the house that I grew up (until the age of 3) in. Used to drive my Mother crazy telling people I slept in a ‘closet’. She would deny it; then she figured I was not going to ‘shut up’ about it, so she said, ‘it was an enclosed porch’ … the ‘size of a closet’. The living room they built on to basically 800 sq. ft. 4-room house was bigger than the other part of the house. It had windows that came down from ceiling to about 8” off the ground; and, had a ledge there. Beautiful view of the back yard which had a gully and a small spring behind it. We played out there all the time.
But, the ‘big house’ (old Colonial … later turned into a Williamsburg-style home (after they took off the wrap around porch off when I was a Junior in HS, was what I considered my ‘home’. We sold it to the church in the next block with 2 others houses on it … Mimi’s house, and the old house my Daddy used as his office. I was so saddened when the church decided it would not be ‘cost effective’ to remodel it; and, they tore it down; and, had the little road between the blocks cut off and expanded the church over the entire block. When I went to the funeral of the mother of my BF; someone asked if I wanted to tour the new church. I did not care to; and, when pushed I told them that it would have felt like walking over a grave. Thank you; but, no thank you. I felt the same way about them tearing down the old house on the corner where so many memories were made.
Our DMGD started getting ‘bullied’ at school in 6th grade. She would NOT talk to ‘anybody’ about it. DDnL#1 ‘finally’ was able to get something out of her. A new girl to the school would pick on her. Sometimes even poking at her. Her parents told her that ‘if’ she touched her again, tell her to ‘stop’ and ‘IF’ she didn’t they ‘expected for her to DECK her’ and would deal with the consequences. One day, she had her in the middle of a bunch of kids in her class, had made her cry; DOGD saw it and whipped out her cellphone and send a video to her Mom; who left work and go to the school (25 miles away) and went ‘storming’ down the walkway – the kids just scattered! She then went to the Head Master and told him that either he’d stop it or she would. It got a little better; but, again in 7th grade she started it all over again. She would systematically go through the list of girls in the grade and make them ‘cry’; when she started picking on the younger kids, my DMGD confronted her. She acted like she was going to hit my DMGD and one of the boys in her class jumped between them. DDnL#1 had had a woman from the Sheriff’s Office in the next county come talk to their class; she had wanted her to talk to the entire school, but, Head Master did not think that any ‘bullying’ was going on. Her grades spiraled down. In the summer before 8th grade this girl’s mother was ‘invited to take her out of school as he wasn’t going to have any more complaints about her’. Surprisingly, they are now FB friends. Go figure!
Thankfully, we had boys and not girls; I don’t know what type of Daddy that Louis would have been on girls. Either way too strict or way too lenient … which would have upset me, if I had had to be the ‘horse’s @$$’. But, both of them about the age of 15; got their butts on their shoulders in front of us; and, he jacked them up off the floor about 12” against the pantry door. They did not realize how strong he was since they were both about 5” taller. They did not give us any lip service after that. I don’t think I could raise my DGDs … the middle one is moody as Hell’s Fire; the youngest one is ‘sneaky’. She is the one that my DOS and DDnL#1 are going to have to keep their eye on. She is already sneaky, and, knows a whole lot more than either of the other 2 did at the age of 10.
They don’t really ‘follow’ through on their threats of taking electronics away from them; or because the middle one acts like she is still looking down and her thumbs are still moving like she is typing on it, the give it back to her. That would only make me ‘more’ determined to keep it from her; but, their role-model has hers on 24/7 and is always on FB. There are days when I want to shove it ‘where the sun doesn’t shine’. There are some places that it is just outright ‘rude’ … like when you are ‘out at a restaurant’ and that damn things dings every 10 seconds. I came close to grabbing it one night; but, looked at DOS who was looking at me with those big old green/brown hazel eyes and moving them so that I ‘knew’ I would make a scene if I did. But, I did tell her to ‘turn it off’. When she told me that ‘when we started paying her bill; we’d have the right to tell her to turn it off (and we did end up paying it the next month) … she hasn’t had it sitting out since (but we have also NOT taken them out to eat but once since.
Gee, I can remember not leaving home without a few quarters in my pocketbook, just in case! I am not so sure that this ‘instant’ news is good; it doesn’t show you what went on right before an altercation starts.
I feel for you, hon. You’ve got a stronger constitution than I would. They’d probably get me for ‘child abuse’. LOL!
Lenora1 -
I think Gloria the one issue I can't relate to is all the mental problems you shared. That can affect all aspects of a child's development sadly. He is lashing out any way he can. Having his mom explain to him things is the first step. By not its just delaying the inevitable. I have recognised that boys actually thrive on discipline, and routines. By doing things repetitively, boys actually take comfort in those tasks.
Hugs
Becca1 -
Stats for today:
17,000 steps
212 minutes walking Sasha and Bess
188 minutes riding the exercise bike
The reason most people fail instead of succeed is that they trade what they want the MOST for what they want at the MOMENT.
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Call me crazy but I love to see other people happy and succeeding .
Good Evening My Dear Friends,
Mary, the babies are precious. I think they really wear the helmets so everyone can tell them apart because they have their initials on them.
Heather, I love your red dress. That is definitely a color for you! Love the pics of the kids reading to grandpa.
Yinka, I hope you and others won’t get too upset over a one pound gain even if you hadn’t been working out. Yes those muscles do weigh more but also weight does vary all the time. What’s here today can be gone tomorrow. You are doing great so hang in there.
MicheleNC, glad you made it to Florida. Have a wonderful time and woo hoo on the pool opening.
Lanette, I also read the posts thinking of the voice and accent of the person posting. I’m sure my image rarely matches but it’s interesting.
Beth, your son sounds amazing. You have to be proud.
Lisa, major expenses rarely come when we can best afford them but like you said, it was time.
to any Newbies. Come often and join in the chat. This thing works!! Please sign your post with what you want to be called. It makes it easier for us to respond to you. Also a location is great, be it specific or general. We are happy to have you join us.
I don’t think I even got through Sunday’s posts but I can’t keep my eyes open. I got home from my Moose meeting later than normal and the bed is calling my name. Even though I didn’t make time to read much here today I’ve thought of all you wonderful ladies a number of times throughout the day.
Sending love, good thoughts and sunshine to all of you.
I Love you
DJ
Myrtle Beach, SC
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Rori
Heather hope home sale comes through quickly!1 -
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Karen in Virginia - Olivia is such a beautiful little girl. So glad she is improving. Will keep you all in my prayers.
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Very busy day tomorrow. We have our Annual General Meeting - I have to pick the guest speaker up at the airport at 9:00 am in the morning, zip back to the office to get last minute details arranged for the noon meeting. Attend meeting and take minutes, Back to the office to prepare for the evening social portion of the AGM. Load everything in my vehicle, gifts for guest speaker and retiring president, notes for evening incoming president, fruit tray and dessert tray along with plates, napkins and forks. Attend evening portion, take minutes and notes, make sure everything is running smoothly. Pack up everything when done. probably wont be home until 10:00 pm. Glad DH is home tomorrow so he can look after my dear little dog.
Have a great day tomorrow ladies. Hugs to all.
Paula Y1 -
Hi Gals,
Karen – Olivia looks so much better – she’ll be stealing our hearts like Bea does!
Mary – the twins are cute!
Heather – great news on the house!!!!
Gloria – Hugs!!! I am sorry he’s being so yucky!
February Goals:
Write Christmas letter, and have all cards ready to send by Dec1…this was for nov. but still working on it. Jan. still working on this….**** GET THIS DONE*******
Read and report on a book – Done (Jan and Feb too)
Log everyday to the best I can, over if need be.
11,000 + steps everyday –
Work on water consumption –
Lunch with Kyle -
Smiles.
Kim from N. California
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Congrats on the offer, Heather. Keep us posted.
Marni - I can just see you and your mom using fondue forks to eat cheetos. Ha! Clever solution to a messy orange problem!
Really had to skim through the posts tonight. I know that I missed some things. No real time to post more.
Hugs, prayers, and kisses......
Toni in Tennessee2 -
Gloria: (((HUGSS))) I'm a retired middle school teacher & I think you're a saint to take on your grandsons. In my experience 6th & 7th grades are often tough years for many kids. A few of my 8th graders were still headed the wrong direction at the end of the year, but many others were ending the year on a high note and ready for high school in the fall. I wish you luck. Becca has some excellent comments on dealing with middle school boys. :flowerforyou:
I have a headache tonight, which is rare for me, and plans to see two dear friends tomorrow. I hope that I'm feeling well enough to go by morning. I am going to bed early to get some extra rest in hopes that it will help tomorrow to be a better day.
Katla in beautiful NW Oregon
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas A. Edison
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Allie - are you OK? Your posts lately have been really short. Nothing about what's going on in your life, Faith, your FIL etc. Concerned
Michele in sunny FL5 -
I agree with Becca - you cannot treat your children, grandchildren, charges ... whatever as if you are friends. I saw this in my DDnL#1's relationship with DOS's first child. She was a good mother-model; but, anything ... Attila the Hun would have been better than what she was growing up in. OMGoodness, I hate to 'think' what would have happened to her 'if' DOS had not gotten custody of her away from her biological mother (who she refers to as her 'egg donor' or 'incubator'). It's 'sad'; but, it happens ... sometimes for cause and other times for no apparent reason. She's trying so hard to be her oldest child's [actually her first-born] friend and that isn't getting her anywhere. But, to tell her that she really needs to be her 'Mama' and not her friend; she bows up at me. I back off and don't say anything. If any of them want to come over and 'blow off steam' ... I'm here to hear what they say.
It's difficult for children to even 'think' that their parents were once young or teenagers and I about 'flipped' when DDnL#1 said 'to and in front of her girls' certain things that I thought was not any of their business. Period! I can remember questions I asked of my Mother (after my Daddy died) and while I got an answer, she also caveated it by saying, "I'd have never appreciated you 'nosiness' if your Daddy was still living!" But, for the first time in my life she became 'human' to me - not Mother, not Daddy's wife; but, another woman talking to another woman. I think sometimes we don't see the 'real' person soon enough to really respect them and what all they have done for us.
I wasn't all that close to my Mother; but, I did not 'hate' her. She just was not very demonstrative; and, I have been with my boys; because I wanted to show them 'how a woman is, when she is treated with love and respect'. Even now, it is difficult for me to wrap my head around the phrase: "You made your bed, now lie in it." I 'want' to 'fix it' (whatever 'it' happens to be); but, ... it really is a situation of 'you made these decisions, because you wanted to make grown-up decisions' ... we don't agree with your choices; but, you have to do what YOU think is 'right for you and your family'. We probably would not have chosen to do what you did; but, that is just us. We're older, sometimes wiser, and still we've made mistakes about things. But, 5 years later, did they really make that much of a difference? Well ...!!!!! There are times when I wish we did not 'live so close' and that 'DOS did not work for his Dad'. Sometimes we just 'hear' so much that it is difficult not to have a 'jaded' outlook about some things.
DYS was 36 before he 'found his right one'; DOS became a Daddy at the tender age of 19. DYS went to college; DOS dropped out to be a bread winner with a pregnant wife. When they got a divorce; we 'tried' to get DOS to 'come home' and 'go back to school'; he could have worked and gone to school (without all the bills associated with living alone). So what happens? He does not like living alone and he married the next woman in his life.
Yesterday, while fussing he said, "I wish I had not dropped out of college; I wish y'all had MADE me go back!" EXCUSE ME? We 'tried'; you said, 'no, I have a family to support' ... don't blame us for your decisions now. Grow up, grow a 'set' ... man up! But, instead, he lets DDnL#1 make the rules by which everybody should be living by. Everybody walks on eggshells hoping to not cross her up and be screamed at. But, when he does challenge her, she backs up and listens. Not always doing what he wants; because she is all up into other people's business. I look at her and tell DH, I see my younger self ... he tells me there is NO comparison. He would have 'kicked me to the curb' long before. I honestly do not think my DOS 'knows' what 'falling in love' is about. With our DYS? We knew from the way he talked about DDnL#2 that 'he had fallen so head over heels in love' and he would do anything to keep her. They both think the other are "Keepers." I try to be respectful for the mother of my granddaughters; but, it does not mean that I have to 'like' her. It's difficult to 'like' (much less love) someone who bites your hand if you hold it out. I no longer hold my hands out.
She does have a 'good heart' insofar as 'thinking of you when she sees something'. For example; she saw a cheap watch with a face with flamingos on it. She used the balance on the Christmas gift card to buy it. I would have 'preferred' to have just had it given to me, without all the explanation of how I actually paid for it because of her using the gift card. Dammit ... do something nice and stop explaining yourself; do it 'just because it made you think of them'. My boys are 180° different, and they have always had a good relationship; but, now it is strained because DYS has a great job (college educated) and DOS is always complaining about being 'poor' and he can't do this or that, rah, rah, rah! I just want to 'smack' him. But, I don't ... just want to, that's all.
I have no doubt that DDnL#1 will post things on FB, even if she is told NOT to. She's done that many times. She came over a little over 2 months ago, crying and talking about 'how she was feeling' ... I let Louis do ALL the talking. "She doesn't want to be like her", meaning me. I just hate that it might take her falling off the edge to 'get her attention'. That is a hard, long, bumpy fall. I don't want her to do it; but, like I have said before; 'you can drag a horse to water; but, you can't make it drink'.
Sorry for the vent. I've just 'heard' enough ('we did not pay for DMGD's prom dress' ... we never paid for DOGD's prom dresses ... we contributed; just did buy them - pay for them totally). DDnL#1 and DMGD found a pretty dress; it is 2-piece; but, she hated the top because she felt it was too revealing. They found a blouse and took it to the tailor and he is going to cut it off and take it in, so that it will look like the one that came with the skirt. I know he will do a good job on it. So basically, we paid 1/2 of the cost of it. It is a hard time for them financially; but, I won't allow us to be 'sucked down the drain' like water down the tub. Won't happen.
Lenora1 -
Good evening everyone, just checking in to say hello and wish all a great week. Sorry to not respond to each person's post, but I just don't have the energy for it. I have had some health issues related to stress and I can't allow myself to get caught up in much right now. I just come here for a little encouragement and to read about your ventures in health improvement.2
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Hi all. Would like very much to join this group. Turning 50 in June and don't want to weigh then what I weigh now
Just linked up to My Fitness Pal a couple of days ago and finding new things every day.
Samantha from South Africa4 -
Happy Tuesday
Off to the gym may post later
Kate UK
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It's about 1:30am... I've been in bed since 11:30pm. Settled in. Lights out. Ear buds in. CPAP mask on. Listened to a Dateline murder mystery on my iPad. But... feeling a tug to slip off to the kitchen and find something sweet to eat. I've had all I need for the day. I had a nice protein shake loaded with fiber and frozen banana (1 oz) with cinnamon just before 9am. I am not hungry. I dare not get out of this bed! I'll listen to a book on Audible. The Girl on the Train. That one usually puts me to sleep. One day I hope to actually finish that book.
I'm trying.... I think the late night snacking thing becomes a habit and I will find a way to stop it. To stop a habit.. replace it with another one. Hmmm...
FYI: I recommend The power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. I learned a lot from that book.
-- Ginger in Texas4
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