Unmotivated Spouse

Slightly me just venting, slightly...what can I do?

My husband and I are supposed to be on this weight journey together. He talks the talk but he does not walk the walk. I meal prep for both of us and go over every meal with him. But then when I get ready to make the meal he wrinkles his nose. I know I can eat heathy on my own but that is hard when then a Chipotle burrito is staring you in the face!

We were doing C25K together. He is on week 4. I am on week 6. I try and get him to work out, walk the dogs, but he doesn't.

It has gotten worse since I got diagnosed with MS 2 weeks ago. Now for me my quality of life really depends on me losing weight...and I need him with me on this. He hasn't even looked at the treadmill since I got home from the hospital. And his comments on our meals have gotten worse since I am incorporating more seafood and root veggies.

I'm just at a loss now. Love him to death but I can't do this alone and right now I feel so alone.


  • leanjogreen18
    leanjogreen18 Posts: 2,492 Member
    You are stronger than you think, you don't NEED him to be with you on this. You can do it!

    It does make it easier but it's so hard to make someone do something they aren't ready to do. I speak from all the times my fit husband tried to get me to do various activities with him and I didn't want to.

    Take a few bites of his Chipotle if you don't want to eat that and satisfy your taste buds.

    As he sees your progress and strength he may follow.
  • size102b
    size102b Posts: 1,370 Member
    edited March 2017
    You have to do this for yourself and let your husband do what he prefers I'm doing this alone my husband would never cut back like I do and he could do with getting 30 lbs off but hey he's happy I fancy him and he's healthy so I do all this for me
    I do all the shopping cooking everything in the house I make all the meals except breakfast 3 children myself and my husband I prepare him high calories foods I love but it doesn't bother me as my health is more important to me.

    I'd give up leave him to it just show him how successful you are by just doing and not speaking about your new lifestyle

    At the end of the day in life we are alone and only we can do these things
    He doesn't want to so leave him to it I'm positive when he sees a slinkier you and hears people complementing you hell rethink
  • courtneyfabulous
    courtneyfabulous Posts: 1,863 Member
    edited March 2017
    Do what you need to do. He can get in board or keep slacking- that's up to him.

    My husband kinda half tried for a minute but then beer, video games, smoking, and pizza I guess we're just more enjoyable to him than healthy eating and the gym.

    Meanwhile I've continued eating well, hitting my calories and macros, and hitting the gym regularly, and lost almost all the weight.

    It sucks I know, it would be way more fun and easy to do together, but some people just aren't ready.

    The dinner thing is annoying though- if you're bothering to make it he damn well better eat it! If he wants to eat junk he can do it on his own time.
  • CattOfTheGarage
    CattOfTheGarage Posts: 2,750 Member
    edited March 2017
    Thanks everyone! We chatted over dinner (he ate a little sweet potato) about what we wanted from each other. He did admit he has lost total motivation the last few weeks and we agreed that I will continue doing what I do and we will buy him some sides and snacks when he doesn't want what I make (which is usually my sides he loves the main dishes haha). Communication--its great when it works ;)

    That's awesome! (or "arsing" according to autocorrect).

    With that happy news I will now attempt to go belatedly to sleep.
  • Chadxx
    Chadxx Posts: 1,199 Member
    Glad to hear that y'all talked it out. That was exactly what needed to happen. Weight loss is a very individual thing and something each person must commit to on their own. Also, I can assure you that the quickest way to keep a man from doing something is try and force him to do it. You do you and if it is something he is willing to commit to, he will eventually follow you.
  • newheavensearth
    newheavensearth Posts: 870 Member
    Two thoughts:

    1. Maybe hubby is backing of from weight loss plans to take time to process your diagnosis. Men deal with hardship and grieve things in very different ways than women. Seeming to rebel and withdrawal are some. I'm very sorry about your diagnosis, but taking care of your health is a priority now, with or without his support.

    2. He might be ready, but just not to do things your way. He might not like the same foods as you or C25K. My hubby has to start losing weight due to health issues and told his dr he'd follow my plan. But, he won't exercise (I love it) and he says MFP, weighing, measuring, and meal prep is too much work (essential to me). So I guess he won't follow my plan; he needs to find his own and I respect that. Your husband might also need to be left alone to find what works for him in terms of food plan and exercise.

    Best wishes to both of you.
  • ogtmama
    ogtmama Posts: 1,403 Member
    edited March 2017
    As a former smoker and drinker who lives with a smoking drinker I have to say that you've got to do it for yourself...the best you can hope for is that they will see how happy you are in your new life and that a they will want the same for themself.

    Also, Chipotle salads/bowls sans cheese and sour cream are not TOO rough on the calorie bank account.

    Good luck