Husband cheated on me here

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Replies

  • leannems
    leannems Posts: 516 Member
    I could see signing up right when you found out, but then realizing there wasn't much for you to do other than to try to find the women, and then finally posting about it.

    What's the goal of the therapy? Are you trying to get back together, end it, or still figuring it out?

    BTW, I'm sorry he broke your trust. People are debating the semantics of cheating in this thread, but I don't know if it matters so much as your trust was broken.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    IVMay wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    We getting names or nah?



    (Ps. I'm in just for my two cents on the lab advice. Go to a pound or a lab rescue. I have two lab-pit mixes. They are the best. <3 )

    3 labs here.. I can third on the lab advice..


    I have been wating on names too.. sigh :'(

    Excellent.
    I have a dream. One day this forum will have a lab thread where all the poor little puppies can back and run riot.

    That would be sweet! :)
  • Sunna_W wrote: »
    A lot of men are dogs... and they don't think that virtual sexting or nude videos are even cheating. Does he know what he did was wrong? Is he sorry or just sorry that he got caught? So what can you do? Can you spring for the nuclear option and leave? (I worked outside the home and that's what I did. It took me years to recover financially, from the divorce, but I did. A lot of women are scared to leave, and, think they can't make it -- but they can and they do.) In the old days when this happened, women "went home to mother" for a while. Is that an option? Will he go to marriage counseling? Is it worth it? Do you have kids? Ann Landers / Dear Abby would say, "Can you live without him?" So sorry that this happened to you. <3

    I wouldn't say only men, it goes both ways.

    In THIS cast it is a man. So "A lot of men are dogs definitely applies. Had it been a man posting about a cheating wife the sentiment would be transposed.
  • SomebodyWakeUpHIcks
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks Posts: 3,836 Member
    @IVMay wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    We getting names or nah?



    (Ps. I'm in just for my two cents on the lab advice. Go to a pound or a lab rescue. I have two lab-pit mixes. They are the best. <3 )

    3 labs here.. I can third on the lab advice..


    I have been wating on names too.. sigh :'(

    Excellent.
    I have a dream. One day this forum will have a lab thread where all the poor little puppies can back and run riot.

    Start a lab cafe. Much better than a cat cafe.
  • This content has been removed.
  • Tacklewasher
    Tacklewasher Posts: 7,122 Member
    Sunna_W wrote: »
    A lot of men are dogs... and they don't think that virtual sexting or nude videos are even cheating. Does he know what he did was wrong? Is he sorry or just sorry that he got caught? So what can you do? Can you spring for the nuclear option and leave? (I worked outside the home and that's what I did. It took me years to recover financially, from the divorce, but I did. A lot of women are scared to leave, and, think they can't make it -- but they can and they do.) In the old days when this happened, women "went home to mother" for a while. Is that an option? Will he go to marriage counseling? Is it worth it? Do you have kids? Ann Landers / Dear Abby would say, "Can you live without him?" So sorry that this happened to you. <3

    I wouldn't say only men, it goes both ways.

    In THIS cast it is a man. So "A lot of men are dogs definitely applies. Had it been a man posting about a cheating wife the sentiment would be transposed.

    What about those he was cheating with? Don't they get included in this cast?

  • adamgoleafs87
    adamgoleafs87 Posts: 129 Member
    Sunna_W wrote: »
    A lot of men are dogs... and they don't think that virtual sexting or nude videos are even cheating. Does he know what he did was wrong? Is he sorry or just sorry that he got caught? So what can you do? Can you spring for the nuclear option and leave? (I worked outside the home and that's what I did. It took me years to recover financially, from the divorce, but I did. A lot of women are scared to leave, and, think they can't make it -- but they can and they do.) In the old days when this happened, women "went home to mother" for a while. Is that an option? Will he go to marriage counseling? Is it worth it? Do you have kids? Ann Landers / Dear Abby would say, "Can you live without him?" So sorry that this happened to you. <3

    I wouldn't say only men, it goes both ways.

    In THIS cast it is a man. So "A lot of men are dogs definitely applies. Had it been a man posting about a cheating wife the sentiment would be transposed.

    What about those he was cheating with? Don't they get included in this cast?

    Exactly.
  • _illini_Jim_
    _illini_Jim_ Posts: 6 Member
    So, I'm confused. Are you looking for action now?
  • FindingAwesome
    FindingAwesome Posts: 1,482 Member
    Once trust is broken, it becomes almost impossible to get it back. Especially if it has been broken repeatedly.

    OP.. My heart goes out to you. A betrayal on this scale is really devastating. I hope you are able to heal from it.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    I'm confused. Don't people have cheat days? Maybe he sent the D to the chicks on those days.

    we might can find him with all the flirt posts on all the threads asking 'how do you deal with cheat days'?
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
    I don't understand why people are accusing her of lying or the time frame she posted this thread. People deal with stuff differently. Maybe she cried and was depressed the first couple of months. Maybe she is lying...it's still an engaging thread.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Anywho...hope everything falls where it may.
    Best of luck and such.
    Chits never fun.
    I know.
  • IVMay
    IVMay Posts: 442 Member
    @IVMay wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    We getting names or nah?



    (Ps. I'm in just for my two cents on the lab advice. Go to a pound or a lab rescue. I have two lab-pit mixes. They are the best. <3 )

    3 labs here.. I can third on the lab advice..


    I have been wating on names too.. sigh :'(

    Excellent.
    I have a dream. One day this forum will have a lab thread where all the poor little puppies can back and run riot.

    Start a lab cafe. Much better than a cat cafe.

    LOL. It'd have to be drunk through straws and lidded but that could be a good idea, you know :)
  • This content has been removed.
  • adamgoleafs87
    adamgoleafs87 Posts: 129 Member
    STLBADGIRL wrote: »
    I don't understand why people are accusing her of lying or the time frame she posted this thread. People deal with stuff differently. Maybe she cried and was depressed the first couple of months. Maybe she is lying...it's still an engaging thread.

    Agreed. Makes for interesting reading at least.

    Might be a good way for her to vent and get her feelings out there as well.

  • Tacklewasher
    Tacklewasher Posts: 7,122 Member
    lizery wrote: »
    Your husband flirted via an electronic medium. It's a betrayal of sorts, but hardly cheating.

    I disagree. Sending pics and videos definitely crosses a line and is cheating.
    And what right would you have to tell the other participants - alleged - husband (assuming you could do so)? She is responsible for operating within the parameters of her own relationship. That's hardly your responsibility.

    I agree. But I understand the desire to do so.
  • _illini_Jim_
    _illini_Jim_ Posts: 6 Member
    lizery wrote: »
    Your husband flirted via an electronic medium. It's a betrayal of sorts, but hardly cheating.

    And what right would you have to tell the other participants - alleged - husband (assuming you could do so)? She is responsible for operating within the parameters of her own relationship. That's hardly your responsibility.

    I like your way of thinking…
  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
    She deleted her acct after that.
    Someone on my FL acct unceremoniously disappeared recently and abruptly.

    Hmm. . .?

    Nah. . . .
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    lizery wrote: »
    Your husband flirted via an electronic medium. It's a betrayal of sorts, but hardly cheating.

    This is cheating no ifs ands or buts (well the noodz contained butts).

    quick question...does a thong pic (from male or female) count as nude? gray area for me...
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    _John_ wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    lizery wrote: »
    Your husband flirted via an electronic medium. It's a betrayal of sorts, but hardly cheating.

    This is cheating no ifs ands or buts (well the noodz contained butts).

    quick question...does a thong pic (from male or female) count as nude? gray area for me...

    Obviously hypothetical.
    Like you get those. :D
  • leanjogreen18
    leanjogreen18 Posts: 2,492 Member
    edited April 2017
    It's cheating to one spouse but not the other.

    This is why I brought up the whole its good to have that conversation. Preferable before it happens. But then you have the "is viewing porn" cheating? Is "going to a strip club" cheating, is "going to lunch with a coworker of the opposite sex" cheating etc.

    People have different opinions and when those two people are in a relationship it can get ugly.

    By the way again I think its cheating but can acknowledge that others do not think it's cheating.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    _John_ wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    lizery wrote: »
    Your husband flirted via an electronic medium. It's a betrayal of sorts, but hardly cheating.

    This is cheating no ifs ands or buts (well the noodz contained butts).

    quick question...does a thong pic (from male or female) count as nude? gray area for me...

    hmm..I could go quite far with this..

    but for context and the OP prolly any pic with any body parts showing like that and perhaps a flirty message to accompany that pic is not in a a grey area.
This discussion has been closed.