Good Bad Jokes
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vikinglander wrote: »What's blue and smells like red paint?
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standenvernet wrote: »vikinglander wrote: »What's blue and smells like red paint?
DING! DING! DING! tell him what he's won, Johnny!0 -
Did you know cats can jump higher than a house?This is largely due to the cat’s powerful hind legs, and the fact that houses can’t jump.2
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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 pounds
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes1 -
If it takes a chicken and a half a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, how long does it take a monkey with a wooden leg (named Bobo) to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?
Four minutes, 'cause ice cubes don't have bones...(what was the name of his other leg??)
Can you tell I'm a father? These are all jokes I remember from when my daughter was young...she groans at my jokes now!
I'm afraid to tell any of my really good ones because I don't want the moderators to get their shorts in a knot...anything that's too "adult" sets off alarms and get me 'points'! The first time I saw that I went looking for a prize list to see how many points I had to accumulate for a home gym...0 -
You know why teenage girls are always in odd numbered groups?
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.Because they "Can't Even."8 -
An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree watching a farmer walk by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls can't talk.
The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.1 -
Don't let this die you guys1
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my giraffe costume only got me 2nd place at a fancy dress contest......I may not have won but at least I can hold my head up high!!2
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today I've decided to burn a load of calories.....so I'm setting fire to a fat kid!!0
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piracy is killing the music industry....its hard to play guitar with a hook!!!3
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the police have said they want to interview me.....I can't even remember applying!!2
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can't believe my girlfriend is an online porn star.....I hope she doesn't mind when she finds out!!0
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i got caught running in the swimming pool this morning.....the lifeguard gave me a Speedo ticket!!
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My local pub is offering 2 courses for £10.....I've gone for Photography and First Aid!!0
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was a given a nose and ear trimmer for Christmas.....it really hurt but they are much smaller now!!2
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What's long and hard and has cum in it? A cucumber!5
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Gimsteinn1 wrote: »Sit on my face and I'll tell you how much you weigh.
Best bad pickup line I've ever heard.
I actually heard a friend of mine say this to a very pretty girl when we were on the street in downtown San Francisco, in the early 80s..."Pardon me, ma'am...I'm new in town. Can you tell me how to get to your house?" She actually let him buy her a drink! I don't know what else happened...1
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