Ladies, would you let your boyfriend or husband go to the stripclub?
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Let him? He doesn't need permission.
If the question is if I would be okay with it, yes.
I don't see what the issue is with it.0 -
MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »badgyaljilly wrote: »Girls, would you let your boyfriend or husband go to the strip club with his friends?
I feel like my boyfriend went 2 years ago and lied to me about going and I don't know how to feel about this.
Two years ago? Let it go.
Agreed0 -
If it does sincerely still bother you, the only way to get over it is to talk to him about it. Not in an angry tone but in a way so that he feels that he can be truthful to you and that you do trust him. Just accusing him of it and being angry about it will only further divide the trust in the relationship.1
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badgyaljilly wrote: »Girls, would you let your boyfriend or husband go to the strip club with his friends?
I feel like my boyfriend went 2 years ago and lied to me about going and I don't know how to feel about this.
It was two years ago, he probably doesn't even remember. Men's memory spam is a week long. If that..
Let it go.0 -
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abitoftrouble wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »abitoftrouble wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »badgyaljilly wrote: »indigoblue9572 wrote: »badgyaljilly wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »abitoftrouble wrote: »My husband doesn't need permission to do anything. He's not a child.
this.... its not a case of 'letting' him do anything...
you 'feel like' he went...? well either he did or didn't? do you actually know? and it was 2 years ago... that's a looooooooooooooong time to be holding a grudge!
He for sure went, he GPS it in his car, googled reviews on it and then came home super late smelling like alcohol. And when I asked him about it he got defensive.
And this was 2 years ago, right? Did you just now find out about it?
No I asked him 2 years ago when I found out. And till this day it still bothers me. Its obvious he went GPS, REVIEWS, SMELLING LIKE BEER.
Break up with him or get over it. But holding onto something so trivial for so long is not good for the relationship
Seems like this is a healthy relationship
Doesn't every relationship go through the lie detector phase?
Yes. Quickly followed by the yelp review search phase. Bliss
Don't forget the GPS tracker phase!3 -
badgyaljilly wrote: »alltimeburrit0 wrote: »Simply, 2 years ago - its in the past.
Yes I'd 'let' mine go, no I wouldn't be the happiest about it but it's not as if I don't trust him not to cheat.
However
The lying is not okay with me. Do something I won't like, that's forgivable and 'okay', lie about it and that's not okay.
I know but I don't get why he can't just be honest with me that's what makes me pissed more than him actually going
I totally understand that, have you tried to tell him that? Tell him it's the lie that's the problem, not that he went!0 -
LOL so y'all ladies would give ZERO care if your man went to the strip club, got some dances, strippers grinding on his lap all night and then comming home to you?????0
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abitoftrouble wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »abitoftrouble wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »badgyaljilly wrote: »indigoblue9572 wrote: »badgyaljilly wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »abitoftrouble wrote: »My husband doesn't need permission to do anything. He's not a child.
this.... its not a case of 'letting' him do anything...
you 'feel like' he went...? well either he did or didn't? do you actually know? and it was 2 years ago... that's a looooooooooooooong time to be holding a grudge!
He for sure went, he GPS it in his car, googled reviews on it and then came home super late smelling like alcohol. And when I asked him about it he got defensive.
And this was 2 years ago, right? Did you just now find out about it?
No I asked him 2 years ago when I found out. And till this day it still bothers me. Its obvious he went GPS, REVIEWS, SMELLING LIKE BEER.
Break up with him or get over it. But holding onto something so trivial for so long is not good for the relationship
Seems like this is a healthy relationship
Doesn't every relationship go through the lie detector phase?
Yes. Quickly followed by the yelp review search phase. Bliss
I wonder what kind of yelp rating he gave it.0 -
There's been times when he's gone with a group of guys and there was a time I went. I don't think it's a big deal. He comes home to me anyway...1
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badgyaljilly wrote: »LOL so y'all ladies would give ZERO care if your man went to the strip club, got some dances, strippers grinding on his lap all night and then comming home to you?????
*comming home to you hammered
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badgyaljilly wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »abitoftrouble wrote: »My husband doesn't need permission to do anything. He's not a child.
this.... its not a case of 'letting' him do anything...
you 'feel like' he went...? well either he did or didn't? do you actually know? and it was 2 years ago... that's a looooooooooooooong time to be holding a grudge!
He for sure went, he GPS it in his car, googled reviews on it and then came home super late smelling like alcohol. And when I asked him about it he got defensive.
you ever do anything wrong? leave him or resolve it.1 -
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I'm ok with strip clubs. I'm not ok with lying.4
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badgyaljilly wrote: »LOL so y'all ladies would give ZERO care if your man went to the strip club, got some dances, strippers grinding on his lap all night and then comming home to you?????
they are all confident, strong women who have their life in order.
Cmon, it's so not normal to get a tad jealous.
and if you are not okay with your fella going to a strip club, then you are possessive and insecure. *rolls eyes*1 -
Going to a strip club? Whatever go do the thing.
Lying to me about ANYTHING? Not ok.
Based on some of your comments though, I just wanna say that strippers are people too. Just because they're dancing for money doesn't make them gross or disgusting. There's a demand to be seen and they're just supplying it. So if you think strippers are gross, then you should apply that same logic to people that pay to see them.7 -
I wouldn't bother me. Early on in our relationship it bothered me a little, but I got over it. Now I'd see him out the door and tell him to have a good time! But shower before coming to bed.
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badgyaljilly wrote: »indigoblue9572 wrote: »badgyaljilly wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »abitoftrouble wrote: »My husband doesn't need permission to do anything. He's not a child.
this.... its not a case of 'letting' him do anything...
you 'feel like' he went...? well either he did or didn't? do you actually know? and it was 2 years ago... that's a looooooooooooooong time to be holding a grudge!
He for sure went, he GPS it in his car, googled reviews on it and then came home super late smelling like alcohol. And when I asked him about it he got defensive.
And this was 2 years ago, right? Did you just now find out about it?
No I asked him 2 years ago when I found out. And till this day it still bothers me. Its obvious he went GPS, REVIEWS, SMELLING LIKE BEER.
You guys are still together so obviously he wants to be with you. I say let it go. If you hold on to this it will build resentment and cause major problems in your relationship.0 -
badgyaljilly wrote: »LOL so y'all ladies would give ZERO care if your man went to the strip club, got some dances, strippers grinding on his lap all night and then comming home to you?????
No. I wouldn't care. Why should I. It's just looking and grinding.
Let me ask you this. Do you think your man will get excited ONLY from you for the rest of his life?1 -
badgyaljilly wrote: »alltimeburrit0 wrote: »Simply, 2 years ago - its in the past.
Yes I'd 'let' mine go, no I wouldn't be the happiest about it but it's not as if I don't trust him not to cheat.
However
The lying is not okay with me. Do something I won't like, that's forgivable and 'okay', lie about it and that's not okay.
I know but I don't get why he can't just be honest with me that's what makes me pissed more than him actually going
maybe he thinks you can't really forgive him if he confesses. maybe he feels like he gets judged. maybe he feels like he doesn't get unconditional love. maybe he feels like he has to live up to expectations that he can't live up to.
maybe he's a lying cheat not worth another second of your time and is an *kitten*.
obviously you need work on communication. resolve this before BF becomes Husband. trust me.2 -
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When my husband's brother was alive and was in town he and my husband went a few times. I didn't care. I always joked and said the strippers aren't going to dance for you because you are so cheap. He wasnt giving the strippers any money. His brother was always dropping hundreds of dollars.1
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badgyaljilly wrote: »alltimeburrit0 wrote: »If it still bothers you and are still effecting your life with him then I suggest explaining to him that the truth is very important and it's the lie that is really bothering you (which I think it is righg?) and tell him you know the truth you just want to hear the truth and that's what's important
I told him so many times to be honest with me and he just says "no i didn't go" and then gets defensive and tries to avoid the question.
If he says he didn't go why not just believe him?? OR tell him you've been snooping around and found GPS, Review etc... See how that works for ya.0 -
badgyaljilly wrote: »alltimeburrit0 wrote: »Simply, 2 years ago - its in the past.
Yes I'd 'let' mine go, no I wouldn't be the happiest about it but it's not as if I don't trust him not to cheat.
However
The lying is not okay with me. Do something I won't like, that's forgivable and 'okay', lie about it and that's not okay.
I know but I don't get why he can't just be honest with me that's what makes me pissed more than him actually goingbadgyaljilly wrote: »LOL so y'all ladies would give ZERO care if your man went to the strip club, got some dances, strippers grinding on his lap all night and then comming home to you?????
You have a decision to make. Either believe him when he says he didn't go and let IT go, or don't believe him and let HIM go.
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Maybe early on in the relationship he did cheat which is why he got defensive but now he's much more settled, he's more serious about you and values this relationship.
Or maybe he never cheated but became defensive because he assumed you would react badly.0 -
badgyaljilly wrote: »LOL so y'all ladies would give ZERO care if your man went to the strip club, got some dances, strippers grinding on his lap all night and then comming home to you?????
This is why he didn't tell you. Because he knew you would be upset and wouldn't let him go.
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It would depend on the relationship. In long-term ones I lose my jealousy over time and probably wouldn't care, but if it were a new relationship I wouldn't like it and wouldn't be impressed with the guy thinking he can get away with it so quickly, I guess? To me it's something that's okay if two people aren't in the throes of new love anymore and need a jolt of added entertainment. But lying about it isn't cool.2
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MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »badgyaljilly wrote: »alltimeburrit0 wrote: »If it still bothers you and are still effecting your life with him then I suggest explaining to him that the truth is very important and it's the lie that is really bothering you (which I think it is righg?) and tell him you know the truth you just want to hear the truth and that's what's important
I told him so many times to be honest with me and he just says "no i didn't go" and then gets defensive and tries to avoid the question.
If he says he didn't go why not just believe him?? OR tell him you've been snooping around and found GPS, Review etc... See how that works for ya.
Because "be honest with me" actually means "tell me what I think I already know or else you're lying"
Evidently that's exactly what it means in this case.0
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