Other people's reactions to your weight loss or diet
Replies
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I've lost 15lbs over the last 2.5mo and recently told my mom and my husband (during two different one on one conversations) that I'd still like to lose another 25lbs which will put me in the middle of healthy bmi. Both of them were worried that it would be losing too much weight. It's sad that none of us have ever seen me at a normal bmi. I assured them that if it doesn't look good I am well aware of how to gain some weight back LOL :P14
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My family and friends ask "what's your secret" I say... I wish there was something magical I could tell you but nope. Calories in/out haha4
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I was talking to my best friend who has been my biggest support in my weight loss and when I told her I want to lose at least 10 more pounds she gave me my first" You will be too skinny" comment. I explained that I know what I look like and there are areas of my body that still need to lose and not to be worried and that as long as measurements go down I wont focus on the scale. I just think everyone was so used to seeing me 60 to 70 pounds overweight they really don't know what I would look like in great shape.4
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One week ago yesterday, I stepped out of my comfort zone and posted a picture of myself on FB. Along with the picture was the reason I posted it....to motivate others to come out of their comfort zone.
My goal is to lose weight to fit back into my wedding dress, that I will be wearing in 6 weeks.
My strength to post my picture (and I hate pictures) allowed other to show their support (and oh my was it overwhelming), but also allowed other to see that going outside their comfort zone wasn't a bad thing.
This past sunday (which marked 7 days since starting my modified Keto diet), I posted a picture again...showing the progress that I made. I had lost 9 lbs in 7 days! WOW!
From that post my friends and family started to take notice, and started asking me what I was doing differnently. At first I was just PMing them what my doctor had told me, and what I was doing....then more and more people started asking me...
So I decided to start a "Safe" group on FB. Completely private for my friends only, where there is no judgements, and where we could all encourage each other and support each other.
My group as of today has over 10 members! Again WOW!! I never thought in a million years that sharing my journey and inviting others to know my deepest hardship, would turn into something so positive!!
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Years ago, there was a mixed bag of reaction with my starting to lose weight. Most people supported me but sometimes I'd get strange comments from acquaintances. At that time, the man in my life didn't like my changing weight. Apparently, this is not uncommon from what I've read. Some relationships fall apart when one person feels more empowered and loses weight. Thankfully, my ex and I parted ways and I have happily moved on.4
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I stop caring what others say at this time. I am going to borrow a line from Corrine the bachelor and say you do you and I do me!
When I was looking fit in my eyes I would get the comments like. You are too skinny, don't you eat, don't lose anymore weight, or you can stop now. People
Try to sabotage me all the time by offering me food.
Now that I am heavier and haven't lost the baby weight yet. I get the negative. What happen to her, she is letting herself go. Now if I take seconds I get the dirty look.
Once I get back to my goal I will tune every negative person out! Because I am doing all of this for me.12 -
I hear.... Oh but you carry your weight so well! Why do you wanna slim down???? UHHHH CAUSE IM TIRED OF CARRYING ALL THIS WEIGHT LOL9
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I think people become uncomfortable with your success. Lets be honest most people fail at weight loss, they never keep it off. So it's easy to think, ahhh he or she will soon give up and go back to no exercise and eating crap.
So when you get to year one, year two and they realise its a lifestyle change its becomes embarrassing to them but not to you. Hopefully that makes sense.
Anyways's I've had the 'jeez don't lose any more' comment. The 'you look great but aren't you over doing it?'. << Think about that statement for a second (RME). And the - 'you better be careful else there'll be nothing left of you'.
To be fair, each to their own. I used to be 30 lbs heavier and never thought I had a problem. One day someone told me to change my LinkedIn picture cos the fat person no longer exists. Now that was a reaction I didn't mind.3 -
My wife loves me at any size and shape, it seems. My loss has rubbed off on her a bit, as she's taken to exercising a little. There's more progress to be made, though.
My adult children living with me don't praise and don't criticize. They both used MFP years before I learned about it. My old workplace noticed and several co-workers, men and women, started using MFP and counting their calories or trying something else to lose weight. It's working for several of them and for the one who spent money on a something else plan, it's not. My new workplace has no-one who has ever seen me obese, so I'm the skinny guy to them.
My church folks have been very supportive of me.
My cousins who saw me were pleased and supportive. The ones who asked about my goal were shocked and dismayed. I'm presently at a weight below that suggested by those cousins and my doctor.2 -
dakotababy wrote: »My trick is to find a new job after ever 40lbs lost to avoid the whole "your getting too skinny" comments. Luckily, during my loss of 100lbs, I just so happened to switch jobs at just the right time to avoid the comments.
The most annoying experience I had was having the same idiot commenting on my "diet" every day. He would ask "oh so are you still on your diet?" and I mean...its been 4 years! So I would often throw back a "depends what your definition of a diet is." and things would typically go down hill from there. It was just annoying constantly being asked the same thing and people calling it a "diet", when really I eat the exact same way as I always did, just a lot less (and I work out from time to time)
I can so relate to this, its called lifestyle! Great focus @dakotababy0 -
tiffanifair wrote: »I assured them that if it doesn't look good I am well aware of how to gain some weight back LOL :P
I'm so stealing this line! Lol!
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JeromeBarry1 wrote: »I'm presently at a weight below that suggested by those cousins and my doctor.
Yeah, I was very surprised the last time I was at the doctor. I had lost 20 pounds which landed me barely in "normal" BMI, finally. I expected some positive reinforcement but the nurse seemed concerned like maybe I was ill and that's why it happened; no other reaction. My doctor didn't say anything, even though the weight loss helped my blood pressure and migraines.1 -
jennypapage wrote: »I have to say i'm amazed at some of the comments people have gotten.
Everyone has been really good about my weight loss. My colleagues were complimenting me while i was losing, and asked me what i was doing. I said calorie counting and they accepted that,no further questions. I had to stop working for 6 months,so when i came back i was almost done with losing weight and i had started running as exercise,and the difference in how i looked was quite big.
Some people at first didn't recognize me, but everyone said i looked great. They were shocked in a good way. Then they asked me if i was still cal.counting and how much i had left to lose.They said that i shouldn't lose any more, 'cause i was getting too thin. They said it out of concern,not in a bad way, and they were right, i was starting to get too thin.
They never comment in what i eat, and when colleagues bring sweets due to birthdays, etc. i always take one, even though i might not eat it there and then. It might have to do with the fact i live in europe and being thin is actually the norm.We also don't get bombarded much with magic pills and fad diets.In a couple of months i'll visit my family and i'll see what they have to say.
My experience has been pretty similar. I only had one comment from an older friend of the family (in her late 80s) last fall who said "you look great now, don't lose any more weight. You want some reserves for the winter". Other than that the comments have been positive or non-existent. Some surprised, some complements, some "I wish (X) would go on your diet".
Zero comments about my food and eating, but my social eating is not very different from the way I used to socially eat before, so nothing stands out. Funny enough, I do get comments about not eating meat. People who have known me for 35 years but still ask me "why aren't you eating any meat?" EVERY SINGLE TIME. Well, you know I don't like meat. What's worse is when they start feeling guilty that they haven't cooked something for me specifically. Seriously, stop, There is plenty of food and it's all delicious. That's how I've always happily eaten and even my family did not have put in extra effort to accommodate me. It's as simple as not putting meat on my plate or just pushing it aside. I'm pretty sure it has to do with the fact that culturally meat is usually the centerpiece of celebrations and a token of hospitality. Ah well, sorry for the unrelated tangent.1 -
I occasionally get asked what my "secret" is. (It's basically just staying within my calorie goals and being physically active a few times a week.) They think that what I do couldn't possibly work for them. They think I'm "lucky" or exceptional in some way. But really, it's just an excuse to not even try for themselves. It's not like what I do is difficult. It's straightforward. Not mysterious at all.
There are a couple of people who have asked for advice more than once, only to shrug it off and fall back on old methods that end up failing yet again. I would like for those people in particular to stop rolling their eyes and whining about how easy I've got it with my "good genes" and "how real their struggle is" compared to people like me who are "just naturally fit." It's pretty disrespectful and dismissive of the care and effort I take with my health and fitness. I didn't just magically wake up like this. It's not a ton of work, but it does take discipline and self-control.
It's fine if others choose not to take care of themselves, but don't act like people who are fit just got lucky. I generally could care less what others think, but it does get tiresome hearing the excuses and the whining.
I do have one person who amuses me, though. This is a guy who is always trying to sell me on his latest health/fitness/diet craze, telling me about how great it's working for him and how I should try it, etc. This guy is not in great shape, he's always struggled with his weight. He will occasionally stick with something long enough to lose significant weight, but then he always ends up backsliding again. It's funny how he tries to educate me when I'm clearly already right where I want to be, happy with my own methods, and doing just fine. Maybe no one else will listen?6 -
I've herd these
Have you lost weight?
You're snatched! What have you been doing?
OMG, you look like a completely different person!
I didn't recognize you!
You have lost a lot of weight!
I was scared to ask if you've lost weight, in case you had cancer or something.
You're shifting shapes!
Where did that waist came from?!
Good job/Proud of you
That's impressive
Haven't heard anything negative, but I've seen people that I know check me out, clearly seeing a difference, but saying nothing, mostly close friends, cause they didn't comment on my figure when I was obese either, which is fine with me.
A lot of the nice comments are followed with negative comments about their own bodies, which I find awkward. People would be like " Wow, you've lost a lot, you look great! I should lose my belly, but have no motivation." And I'm just standing there in silence, cause I don't share the lack of motivation
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My mom recently said to me that if I lose any more weight she'll call DYFS (pronounced "die-fuss"), which stands for The Division of Youth and Family Services in our state (the child protection agency).
I told her that didn't even make sense, that usually it's parents who are reported and ... Wait? What? I'm 47 ...
After losing 120 lbs, it's the first and only thing anyone in my family has said to me. (Ironic, that she brings up DYFS, isn't it?)
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Someone recently asked if I was sure my seven month old was mine because "there is no way I've lost that much weight and had a baby too".
Erm. My csection scar says yes, I had a baby seven months ago and yes, I have worked daily for the last six months to lose the weight and the baby is helping.
Got to love those hidden compliments or is it hidden insults? Both? Yep.4 -
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I like the questions.....oooo WHO U LOSING WEIGHT FOR?
WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPRESS? WHAT ARE YOU TAKING? UGHHH
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I've had almost 100% positive feedback. I overall feel very supported and I never have people offer me food or push food on me. If anything, it's the opposite! My office is so cool with it and when the guys who work at store across the street from my job asked me how I lost so much weight, they started weighing my fruit for me without me asking!1
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I get tired of people telling me not to lose anymore weight, especially people who I consider acquaintances. My response usually is " I am not trying to lose weight I am getting fit". They don't usually have a response for that5
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Mostly positive.
Some tend to feel free to give their unsolicited opinion about how much or from which body parts(!) I should still loose some.
And then there are those who you can tell see the progress, but don't say anything at all, which is fine by me.
But I do find it a bit uncomfortable sometimes. I rarely post photos of myself on social media, but now when I do, often instead of a thumbs up, I get a
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Well, the doctor was happy. My A1C numbers were a lot lower and he didn't think I'd develop diabetes, ever. The Fat Class instructors were enthused. I guess because that's their job, and because their class "worked" if I lost weight. Additionally, I guess it helped get insurance company funding for the program.
DW complains that she had to go on a diet, too. I can get around on the boat a little easier. No one else seemed to noticed the 50+ lbs (17% of body weight so far.) weight loss, so far. Another couple of years and I might get to target weight. Just another 70# to go.5 -
youdoyou2016 wrote: »I'm 5'1", 46 yrs old, and have gone from the 220's to 135, with about 10 more to go.
Reaction?
Zilch. Zip. Nada. Nothing. Weirdos!
But, I don't care. I'm just zooming around in my new body having a blast. And considering getting new friends! Haha
Love it! Absolutely brilliant! You definitely rock.
Wth?!?! That kinda weight loss deserves wild reactions! If I knew you I'ld glom onto you in the hopes it would rub off on me......lol!!0 -
I still have a ways to go, but I've lost 57 lbs so far and yesterday someone at my doctor's office almost didn't recognize me. She came into the room, talked to my provider, and turned to leave, and then stopped, turned around and said, "wait, this is (my name)! you look terrific!"3
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I’ve reached the initial goal I set myself and now as I’ve learnt more I have new goals like reducing body fat and counting macros etc. Because I’ve reached what I wanted to on the scale I don’t really get any more positive feedback. I get a lot of judgemental looks like they’re concerned I’ve got an eating disorder and ‘you don’t need to watch what you’re eating, you’ll have nothing left’ and borderline offensive comments about my body lol. I just don’t talk about it with these friends anymore. I follow people that keep me motivated and inspired to carry on!1
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I've lost 68 lbs since April & haven't had any negative comments yet.
lol probably because I have another 60 lbs to go.
Family and friends have been really positive which always helps.
I did have a work colleague mention how I was melting away - I thought that was sweet of him as he's a good 25 years younger than me.4 -
I get a lot of people who commend me on my discipline, but then say they could never do it (they totally can)!
I've had a few people say I must be doing something extreme or a fad diet. They seem annoyed when I tell them it's all just making healthy choices and working out.
I get very few compliments, aside from family. I find it odd that people don't support or compliment one another on things like weight loss. If I see someone losing weight, gaining muscle or just trying to be healthy I always compliment them on their hard work. Life is better when you're building each up!2 -
estherjellybabe wrote: »estherjellybabe wrote: »I have lost 14kg since the begnning of November 2016 (that's 30 pounds), and I have another 14kg til I'm at my ideal goal. So far I have had good comments from people. Not that many have actually told me anything to my face. At work three people have commented positively, but I hated it so much when one of them said "you should stop now, it's enough". No It's not enough because I'm still almost obese! I have a long way left to go.
At home, my partner has been mostly positive but I don't like how he comments that before it was soooo damn terrible and it's much better now... it basically implies he thought i was ugly before. I'm sure I wasn't looking as good but I don't want to think of my past self as a failure or inadequate, just someone who needed improvements and successfully recognized it.
The saddest part about losing weight is that I am finding that people are consistently nicer to me now compared to before. It's a subtle, wordless thing; and they probably don't even notice it themselves. It truly shows how people can't help but judge someone just on their appearance.
I did not do this for appearance. I did this for my health because things were slowly but surely getting out of hand with asthma, mobility, heart palpitations, blood cholesterol etc.
When people ask me how I did it and I explain what I cut out of my diet and that I count calories and I exercise, their face falls. It's like people can't be asked to count calories every day to safeguard their health, then they wonder how they got fat.
I know this is old, but...
This could be a page out of my book. I wish people wouldn't make my journey about their expectations and preferences. I didn't have a problem with the way I looked when I was heavy. Neither did my man. I was heavy when he met me and he called me beautiful every day. Kind of drove me nuts tbh lol but the point is he loved me and never so much as hinted at wanting me to change. Looks were a non-issue.0
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