WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR SEPTEMBER 2017

1700 meter swim + aqua fit class today.

Karen from Virginia - No need to apologize about posting about soon-to-be grandbaby. I really think that I was terribly 'insensitive' to Will who had called me to tell me they did not find a heart beat (meaning that Tami has lost the baby). This was the last egg that got used for their IVF session and I asked him, 'if they were going to do this again'. He said, "I'll call you back!" I think when he said that, it just suddenly 'blew me back' 43 years to my own loss of a pregnancy. I am concerned about whether or not they are going to be checking her to make sure her HCG levels are going back down (and not staying where they are or going up). Before they found out what was actually going on with me; I had passed a big clot and we were having friends (co-worker & wife of Louis') and I screamed and they came back to see why. Grace told me not to flush the toilet and went and got something to 'fish it out' to take with us to the hospital. OB checked on me and the clot and said that I had not miscarried. So, I went along for 5 months thinking I was pregnant. When they asked if I had felt the baby move after they could not find the baby's heartbeat, I got upset; because I did not 'know' what it would have felt like to know if it had moved. That is when my OB told me to go to the hospital and he'd order an x-ray of my abdomen and I was to wait there and bring it back to his office. I was at the hospital for a couple of hours and got back to his office after their closing time (although they still had patients waiting). When I walked in the door they immediately took me back to his office. This was a 2 OB/GYN practice and the older OB had sort of 'passed me off' to his new associate (who minced no words and at the time I really did not like him). I went in the door and he told me to 'close it' and when I turned to do so, saw the other one sitting in a chair. I totally 'freaked'. Then, he told me that there was no fetal skeleton and they needed to immediately put me in the hospital to run more tests to find out why my belly had grown like I would have if I had been pregnant and the x-rays showed nothing. Louis was working; and, I told him that 'he' would have to call Louis and tell him what and why this was going to happen.

Then, he went on to explain that they were going to inject a dye into my uterus and see what was going on. I was bawling by this time. Louis brought clothes/gowns and they put me in the hospital that afternoon. The next morning they took me down to the x-ray department and stuck a long needle through my stomach and put dye in. What it literally looked like was a 'mass of grapes'. Then they took me up to the OB ward and I was put into a room - right across from the nursery - with a woman (who had apparently also lost her baby) and she had about 15 family members on her side of the room. My red blood count was something like under 11 (I don't know if that is exactly what they were talking about); but, I do remember them saying they had to get it up over 11 ASAP, so I got a blood transfusion (and had an allergic reaction to it). That was only the 2nd time in my marriage that I had ever seen Louis 'cry' and 'beg me NOT to die'. At that point, I did not care if I did. Nothing could console me. I begged Louis to tell the MDs to 'move me out of that room' because I could not stand listening to the wailing of the people on the other side of the curtain in a semi-private room and definitely could not stand hearing the babies crying in the nursery. The moved me down to the surgical floor almost immediately.

I started itching all over and looked at my Mother and told her "I itch; I can't breathe" and I had never seen that many people come rushing into my room, needles going in and being pulled out. I had a room that overlooked the parking lot and my OB's office. When the older OB came in, I told him that I 'hated' the other one and I really did not want to see him coming back in the door because he rarely came over to my bed. He pointed to his office window - which was on and told me 'watch' and see how late that light is on; it's been that way for a week. He is researching what might be wrong and typing to make sure that a hysterectomy is not going to have to be done. He also told me to 'tell him (new OB) how I felt and how scared I was'. So the next day he opened the door with the nurse on his heels and I told him to tell her to leave and shut the door. I railed him up one side and down the other. I told him that his 'bedside manner' really needed to change because I did not understand what was going on with me and he was barely coming inside the door - and, there was no reason for him to talk to the nurse and not to me.

Then I did not see him over the weekend. Not sure if I was relieved or upset. When he came back in on Monday, he came over to my bed and sat at the foot and told me they thought they had figured out what was going on with me. I had what they call a "Hydatidiformole" pregnancy which meant that the cells that form the placenta had gone into overdrive and had choked out the baby (at about 2 months). They were going to be running me through a myriad of other tests to see if it had broken off into my blood stream and metastasized to other organs. I asked if I had 'cancer' and he told me they did not think so; but, they needed to find out what or where this problem had gone on in my body and I would probably be taking a series of chemotherapy. So the pregnancy was ended and I got put on 9 weeks of chemotherapy. Three weeks on; one week off. Then they drew blood (5 tubes) on Fridays to send to Duke University Medical College because they had an entire research group that did nothing but deal with that particular issue. I got a good lesson in how a fertilized egg implants and how this occurs (and, it ONLY occurs if the egg is fertilized). That is called the Trophoblastic cells which are formed on the outside of the egg and makes the placenta. This is what I 'knew' at the time. He told me that this only occurs in 1:2000 pregnancies, which was extremely rare - to compare that he used the number of 1:89 of 'naturally conceived twins' as an example. My HCG levels were 'off the charts'. I'd also have to wait until they went all the way down to Zero before I could try to get pregnant again and that there was no reason for me not to try; but, he was going to put me on BC so that I would not get pregnant again until the levels had gone back down. That was a long, long year.

A few years ago, he told me that they had seen only their 2nd patient with the same condition (in 43 years). What is so strange is that the 'girlfriend' of my ex-HS boyfriend went through the same thing when she was pregnant; but, they had done a hysterectomy on her. She was also a child of a woman who had taken DEC - or something that begins with a "D" when she was pregnant to keep her from miscarrying. I think her mother had had 4 miscarriages prior to her being born; and 2 more between her and her younger sister. About a year ago, one of my first BF's growing up was talking about her daughter-in-law having issues with her pregnancy and that her HCG levels had risen and they did not know why. I called her and told her to get her DnL to ask her OB/GYN about the possibility of this issue. A week later she emailed me and told me that it was 'exactly' what was going on. They ended her pregnancy; but, they did not give her any chemo afterwards. She ended up with cancer and has gone through treatment ... she just finished it and they are hoping that it has worked. She was also someone that had been told that she'd never have a baby ... and she has 2 girls.

I guess I want to know if Tami's IVF specialist is going to follow her all they way back to make sure her HCG levels go back to Zero and about asking him ... if this might have been the cause of her losing the baby. Of course, I do not want to upset her grieving period of time - I know she has been devastated by this. I'm sure the reason my son cut our conversation down was she was probably with him and the phone might have been on speaker. I could have 'kicked myself in the @$$' ... I knew it was 'wrong' the nano-second I said it, and I knew it was totally insensitive. I'm not sure he will 'forgive me' and I don't know if I can take that. I've already basically lost my DOS because of how his wife feels about me. She hasn't liked me since the day she came over and introduced herself to me as Trey's 'fiancée' and I did not react well to it.

I've taken this extremely hard and Louis was upset last night because I became 'hysterical' ... could not breathe through my stopped up nose, and could not get to sleep. I finally took some migraine medication, and made sure I had taken my evening meds, and a couple of Skelaxin (muscle relaxant). Then I also took an 'out-of-date' Tessalon pearl to calm the hacking cough I am developing. MD ordered the nose spray and Tessalon pearls for me to take. I slept to 11:45 this morning.

Oh, and by the way - the OB/GYN that I had 'hated' so much; I absolutely 'love' him now. He spends a lot of time with me and yesterday when I broke down he gave me a lot of comfort. Some of it I 'knew'; but, it is still difficult to hear.

Lenora

KetoneKaren wrote: »

Are talismans and pocket people the same as pocket angels?

YES! Love all the Pocket Angels here. It is raining cats and dogs outside. I have to go out in it and feed all the horses, dogs, cats, and chickens. Won't be going for my run with the dog. Have decided to work out with weights this morning for awhile and hope the rain eases off so I can feed out without getting soaked. (Faint hope.) Then I am going to indulge myself in some painting and artwork with the view of making some Christmas presents.
Wendy

Yvonne thank you so much, not sure about patient but have nothing but time to work on them. :

Janetr OKC

micki48 wrote: »

Hi. I'm new here. Michele from North Carolina too. I see you already have one. And her name is one L like mine too. Thought I'd join you all since I am a woman over 50. 53 to be exact. Was a teacher for 21+ years, but I am not working now for the first time in a very long time. Not my choice, but learning to enjoy it. My hubby has been a great support getting me through this. I have two grown children. A son about to graduate from college and my daughter is pregnant with my first grandchild. I think my age has caught up with me and can't seem to make my weight budge. So my September goals are:

- Log all foods
- Exercise 3x a week for 30 minutes
- Drink water throughout day 6-8 cups.
- Get in 5,000 steps more days than not.
- Lose 5 pounds??? (Way more than that to go, but I'd just like something. )

Nice to join you all.

Michele L from NC

Welcome to a great group. Perhaps we could call you Micki? Would that work?

Janetr OKC

Mary congratulations on your new AZ relocation! Could it be that all this tumult of moving and stress is bringing back some old body image issues? You are in a new place and are hanging on to something familiar, like being 70 pounds heavier. Because no way you've gained back that much yes?

There are lots of ladies living on maintenance longer than me on this forum, but here's how I've managed so far:

• I weigh in once a week.
• I meal prep non trigger foods for snacking, never let myself get really hungry. Don't eat out very much anymore and when I do, I cut servings in half to take home
• I exercise regularly
• If I fall off the wagon and stress eat or punish myself by bingeing, I just start
Back to healthy the next day.

Good luck with settling in Mary

NYKAREN