WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR SEPTEMBER 2017

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  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,205 Member
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    Regarding intimacy ...

    Imagine the challenge the following has presented over the past 3-ish years ...

    -- period 3 weeks out of every month until just recently, and irregular as can be
    -- 2 diagnoses of pre-cancer in 2 different areas of the female reproductive anatomy, and 1 false alarm
    -- 2 surgeries and 2 biopsies to deal with the pre-cancer
    -- plus pretty much all the other perimenopausal symptoms

    I have my next gynaecologic oncologist appointment in November to check things ... again.
  • csofled
    csofled Posts: 3,022 Member
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    OregonMother wrote: »
    KJLaMore wrote: »

    Okay, need some input on a...slightly risque topic. There have been a few times in the past couple months where I REALLY don't want my hubby to touch me. For instance; I got into bed last night, and he came in a few minutes later and started rubbing my back. I actually had to clench my teeth to keep from screaming "God! give me a break! No!" He knows that I have been tired, and sore/achy the past few days; but here he is. This has happened before. And it's not even that I am that tired or that sore; it just feels like one more thing that some body wants from me. It makes me want to pull my hair out of my head and run out of the house. We have a great sex life, in fact, better now that the kids are grown and out of the house. Is this a menopause thing? Is there a nice way to say " I love you, but the thought of having sex right now makes me want to commit hari kari?"

    thanks in advance for the advice ttfn xoxoxo KJ (Kelly)

    Oh, yes. I know exactly what you mean.

    Felicia

    Know this feeling exactly.

    Cheri
  • csofled
    csofled Posts: 3,022 Member
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    Lenora :(
  • Peach1948
    Peach1948 Posts: 2,473 Member
    edited September 2017
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    Heather I just ordered the 3 qt Instant Pot. I have a 6 qt Nesco that practically does all that the IP does but think having two would be great since I use mine almost every day.

    I have been on an eating frenzy for the last week....way too many carbs. I chalk it up to being anxious and carbs seem to help with that feeling. I need to get back on my usual choices which means 200 calories for breakfast and then 200 for lunch and then an evening meal. This works for me!

    My son and his wife are having problems. We love them both so much. I know that a lot of the problems stem from my son's addictive behaviors and the fact that he was an only child that was used to having everything his way. He has recently gotten into a friendship with the father of his little girl's best friend. This man drinks a lot and does drugs which has encouraged son to follow suit. We told him he would be the biggest fool in the world if he didn't dissolve all relations with the man. But, the wife said she wasn't going to do anything that would end the friendship of the two little girls. Your prayers would be appreciated.

    Carol in GA
  • Peach1948
    Peach1948 Posts: 2,473 Member
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    Mary Were you driving the rig? I hope the damage could be repaired. Get your much needed rest!
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,729 Member
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  • ydailey
    ydailey Posts: 516 Member
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    Happy Random Acts of Poetry Day!

    Joyce - I'm the one with the Maine Coon. He's really tactile with those big mitts. He pats things, and he likes to play with (but not in) water. He has a typical soft voice, but he uses it to make a lot of different sounds like chirps and trills. He's not much of a lap cat, but he likes to be close by... when he wants to be picked up and petted he'll head-butt. These are all pretty typical Maine Coon traits.

    Chris - Welcome! I've also experienced the pattern of self sabotage you mentioned. I'm not sure why it happens, but I'm looking forward to hearing what people have to say. I think part of the problem for me is resistence to making a life-long change. I want to treat weight loss like a project that I can check off then go back to business as usual once it's "done."

    Gloria - It sounds like you have your hands full! Hope you get to enjoy that quiet time soon.

    Mary - Ouch! How rude of that pole to jump out at you like that! I get why those heavy rails are needed to protect the pumps, but don't you wish they'd make them tall enough to see? Anyhow, glad you made it. Enjoy your rest!


    Yesterday I made an appointment with my husband, who is a massage therapist. I'd really been letting the stress build up, and it was great to have a massage. Went to bed much more relaxed, then managed to drop my e-reader and smack myself right in the kisser... graceful I am not!

    All of you who are threatened by hurricanes, fires, etc., please follow the advice of your local officials and stay safe!

    -Yvonne in TX
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
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    Chris in Salt Lake: Welcome to a great group. I hope you'll become a regular participant. Regarding self-sabotage, let the past be the past and don't dwell on it unless you discover what the trigger was that tripped you up. Let each new day become a success. Count your calories and move more. "Every day is a new day with no mistakes in it yet." Anne of Green Gables

    Michele: I don't accept friend requests from anyone other than the ladies I've met here. I think there are people who troll, and I'm not interested in Trolls. :noway:

    Gloria: The sun is bright orange here this morning and the air looks like brown fog. It is actually full of smoke. This seems to be the year of fires in the western half of N America. :sad:

    (((Kelly))): Exhaustion is not good for anyone. It sounds like you're on the brink if not over the line. I hope you'll be able to ease back on the workload enough to get some needed rest. Can your DH take a turn at cooking now and then?

    Lisa: Everyone has their own circadian rhythm. I'm a person who needs sleep. My best sex time is mid-morning after a good night's sleep & coffee. DH likes early morning when I'm still trying to sleep. I'm not very pleasant if I'm too tired, unfortunately. :embarassed:

    Barbie: I hope your walk is good. Our air is brown with smoke and outdoor exercise doesn't seem like a great idea right now. This particular huge and hideous fire was started by 2 boys playing with fire in the tinder-dry woods. They started the fire in Oregon, but it his now burning on both sides of the river. :sad:

    Mary: I see that your rig got an ouchie at the gas station. I hope it is easily repaired. . :flowerforyou:

    Cheri: We have dear friends in Florida, too. They live in The Villages, which is pretty much in the middle. They've been fortunate in past storms. I hope this will be true for them again. :star:

    Peach: Sending prayers for your son that he is not led into unhealthy addictions. :flowerforyou:


    Regarding Instant Pot: We are VERY tempted. We've used a slow cooker for years, but replaced our original after it gave us and our guests all food poisoning.

    Have a safe day.

    Katla in beautiful NW Oregon

    "The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another." - William James

  • OregonMother
    OregonMother Posts: 1,584 Member
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    Katla49 wrote: »

    Barbie: I hope your walk is good. Our air is brown with smoke and outdoor exercise doesn't seem like a great idea right now. This particular huge and hideous fire was started by 2 boys playing with fire in the tinder-dry woods. They started the fire in Oregon, but it his now burning on both sides of the river. :sad:

    Katla in beautiful NW Oregon

    "The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another." - William James


    I listen to NPR on my way to work every morning, and this morning, just as I was pulling into campus, they were talking about the fires on the gorge. It just got to me. I sat in my car and cried for a few minutes. Starting again right now. :heartbreak: I know it will all recover, but I am so incredibly sad. And the ash. So much ash everywhere. My lunch hiking partner and I have suspended our lunch hikes until the air clears.

    Felicia
    Willamette Valley, Oregon

  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,152 Member
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    The damage was just the outside skin so it should be an easy fix! I was not driving I swear! I did ask my DH to practice before we left but I don't know he's like any of your DH's... but now he wishes he would have!
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,729 Member
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  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,370 Member
    edited September 2017
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    Mary - so glad you've arrived (sort of) safely. <3

    Dana - Lovely photo of the grandchildren. :D

    Made a fab curry with the left over guinea fowl and DH has some pieces to put in his cricket rolls tomorrow. I then chucked the remains in the IP with some veg and made stock. I have no room in either of my freezers, so we will have to eat soup soon. :D

    My friend is coming for lunch tomorrow and everything is prepared. That's the way I like it. The house is clean as the cleaner came today. So, all I've got to do is lay the table and cut up salad. And remember to get stuff out of the freezer before I go to bed. :o
    Starters - Homemade hummus and smoky eggplant dip. (Babaganoush) Wraps.
    Main - Greek meatballs, tzatsiki, salad. Bought grilled artichokes. Sun blushed tomatoes. Garlic and rosemary focaccia.
    Dessert - Homemade plum icecream with plum puree.

    I will have very little bread, if any and just a spoonful of dips. I will have a teaspoon of my friend's ice cream. o:) That probably means it will be soup for dinner, if DH doesn't mind, with left overs.
    I have a bottle of Chilean Chardonnay in the fridge for my friend. I will have one small glass. (One and a half units)

    Before she arrives I will do my usual exercises and wash my hair. I will wear the same clothes I wore to the bbq last Friday - dark blue summer pants and a long sleeved white tee shirt. Silver Indian jewellery. I love getting my face on and looking nice. I have been looking a miserable, coughing mess this week - (one day I stayed in my pyjamas) I let my hair get greasy. :noway: It will feel like a new start. But I am still coughing. :(:(:(

    Like all of you I am watching the news on the hurricane.

    Carol - I am so sorry to hear of your son's problems. Unfortunately we can't do it for them. I still worry about my elder son. :s:'(

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxx
  • langman22
    langman22 Posts: 786 Member
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    Felicia, Congrats on the strength training and weight loss. I did it yesterday for the first time. I a bought a book of exercises and started with the routine called "Getting your body back". Sounded about right o me. Taking it easy to start off as I'm new to exercising. Hopefully if I keep doing it I'll get in the routine. Sorry to hear about the fires. I would be upset too. ((HUGS))

    Terry in VT
  • tngram2seven
    tngram2seven Posts: 465 Member
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    Thank you ladies for your kind words and thoughtful advice. All is well today. I am working out my anxiety and restlessness with some much needed cleaning. Been letting some things go way too long. Another confession - I'm up 7 pounds over the summer. So back at it. Today does seem like a changing point.

    Toni
  • wildhorsewendy
    wildhorsewendy Posts: 563 Member
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    Terry wrote: Michele, I suggest when you go to the shower you bring along a talisman in your pocket. It can be anything. I use them to help me focus on what is important. I don't use it as a mystical item. (A talisman is an object which is believed to contain certain magical properties which would provide good luck for the possessor and possibly offer protection from evil or harm.)

    I like carrying or wearing a visual reminder that I am not alone and my family surrounds me. When I did my exams to earn my university degree (at 48 yrs old) I wore earrings that my sister and I share (we mail them to each other at Christmas time as we bought them together at the Montana State Fair years ago!) and a ring my Auntie gave me, and a necklace my mother gave me. I felt surrounded by their love and encouragement while in the stressful test environment. While I know these items are not alive and have no special powers, they reminded me of LOVE which is alive and does have amazing power! So Michele, is there anything you can take to the shower to remind you to show LOVE to everyone, even the unlovable?

    Felicia- well done on doing a weights workout and also dropping some weight. I was so nervous the first time I went into the MALE DOMINATED weights room. We have two large rooms at my gym, one has the weights in it, the other has treadmills, bikes, rowing machines and step machines. I stayed in the "girls" part of the gym for ages until finally the gym owner set up a weights programme for me and took me and my daughter around to various machines and showed us the proper form and gave us a written list to check off and write down how heavy and how many times to do it. Now I have been working out for a year and three months and I don't need anyone to hold my hand, I don't need a paper to check off, I know how the machines work and I am not intimidated by the Big Guns that I work out with. LOL. I actually LOVE all the testosterone hormones floating around in that room and the guys have a nickname for me: they call me Wonder Woman, because of my workout t-shirt featuring WW. LOL. I have grown in confidence by lifting weights and facing my fears! (Big fear-old woman gets laughed out of gym)

    Machka, you have been through a lot of Stress! Good on you for staying so active and quite understand if you're not in the mood! Staying alive and healthy is our number one priority, which is why I study diet, longevity, herbs, alternative treatments (acupuncture, Tesla light therapy, grounding) prayer, hormones and human growth hormones. So much to learn about running our bodies, the fuel our bodies run best on, the changes they go through, things that break it down and stress it...I am going to list my top ten books on here one day, but I am always reading and learning more. Just finished Dr. Mercola's latest book Fat For Fuel. It explained the science of low carb and carb cycling. Fascinating. Has inspired me to try low carb again.

    After my run yesterday, and a touch of tummy bug, I weighed in at 126.4 this morning. YAYE! I am very close to my first goal which is to weigh no more than 125lbs. I still want to be closer to 120 but good things take time. I am very tempted to fast today, so that tomorrow I will look upon the magic number on the scales. I will see how strong my will power and hormone drives are today... PS, I always wear a two piece mainly because one pieces are so darned hard to get into. LOL
    <3 Wendy
  • knjiuv
    knjiuv Posts: 61 Member
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    Chris is Utah, in my experience in my own life, self sabatage is from lack of confidence in myself. I know I have lost befor and gained it all and more back so what makes this time any different. Good luck. You are in the right place for support on this and many other subjects! We don't usually talk about sex but I think that single comfortable with each other here.

    I have my annual neurologist appointment soon. They called me yesterday and said she would not be in the office next week when appointment is scheduled. So we rescheduled it for Friday. Then they called this morning and said she won't be in the office Friday! Make up your mind lady. So it is rescheduled for tomorrow. My sister's birthday is today and we usually get together and have lunch. But with my diet right now, it needs to be postponed for a week. So we are going to goshopping tomorrow. She has a long list of places she wants to shop at so we will use her van so she can have her mobility scooter. She can be a handful at times but she is my only sister and I love her. She is very opinionated and doesn't see it at all. Also rather a 'know it all' when it comes to medical problems and child care. But I love her and love our time together.

    Joyce, Indiana

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