How to become that skinny friend who eats what they want and dont gain weight
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This line of thinking is so dumb.
My office had a Diwali party recently, I'm a huge fan of Indian sweets, so during the previous week I ran a large daily deficit and binged during the party and got the same type of comments. But if you look at the entire week I'm still at a deficit.5 -
Whales eat plankton which is low calorie, so this is why.ShaeTheSweetest wrote: »Im with you... hate those people! Haha my best friend is skinny as a rail. Hip bones sticking out and everything and she eats like a whale and hardly works out. WHY GOD WHY??
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I used to be that skinny girl who could eat whatever I wanted and didn’t gain an ounce. I was always very active, but even when my activity level dropped, I still didn’t weigh much regardless of what I ate. Some people are just born with a fast metabolism. That was definitely me. HOWEVER... it doesn’t last forever. Once I turned 35 or so, my metabolism slowed way down and now I have to work at it like everyone else. So take heart, one day the girl you are wondering about will wake up one day and say “what the heck happened????” Haha!1
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Here is a step by step guide:
1. Have a higher NEAT than average without even being aware of it. Be fidgety, and move around a lot.
2. Have a smaller appetite where eating whatever you want in whatever quantity you want does not exceed your maintenance calories too often.
3. Alternatively, be a social eater who eats a lot around others but totally forgets to eat when alone or nibble on a random thing with insginificant calories.
4. Make it so food isn't high on your priorities list. You like it to taste good but you rarely think about it outside of meal times.
5. Have fewer cravings episodes than the average person.
6. Have other people see and remember all the times you ate a lot but none of the times where you barely ate anything.
7. You remember all the times you ate a lot but few of the times where you barely ate anything.
8. Have people remember all the times you sat on your butt all day but not notice things you keep doing like tapping your fingers, playing with hair...etc, and forget all about the days where you moved nonstop all day.
9. You remember all the times you sat on your butt all day but not notice things you keep doing like tapping your fingers, playing with hair...etc, and forget all about the days where you moved nonstop all day.
10. Lose the desire and ability to eat beyond fullness, and dislike the feeling of being full. Have no problems leaving food on the plate, even if it's one bite, if you're already full.
11. Have times when you just "don't feel like it" when presented with food and don't feel compelled to eat food or dessert just because it's there or just because it was presented to you. Have no problems nibbling on a few pieces from a bag of something and putting it away.
12. Be more likely to forgo food when emotionally challenged than use it to cope.
13. Don't respond to every hunger cue and don't feel too bothered by it.
14. Automatically eat less because you are less hungry or have a weaker desire to eat after a calorie heavy day and/or move more without even noticing.
15. Have a health issue that alters absorption of food. You do not need to be aware of it for this to work.
16. Go shopping for a higher BMR, but don't get discouraged if you can't find one. While it certainly helps, it's not necessary for every case of "naturally thin" and it's extremely rare to have a BMR that explains the ability to eat a significantly larger number of calories.12 -
All those people who say they live with "one of those people that never gains weight"...
Just how long have you been monitoring their diet, weight, and exercise 24/7?
A week, a month?
Keep it up for 6 months or a year, THEN tell us they have massively fast metabolisms.
Until then, they're just overeating like anybody else.5 -
That skinny friend is either:
(assuming that said friend does little/no extra exercise and isn't doing anything to raise TDEE)
(1) Consuming far in excess of TDEE // Gaining weight
(2) Consuming Mildly in excess of TDEE // Slowly gaining weight
(3) Consuming at TDEE // Maintaining
(4) Consuming mildly under TDEE // Slowly losing weight
(5) Consuming under TDEE // Losing weight
Chances are that you don't monitor said friend all of the time, as proven by things like intermittent fasting or 5:2 - somebodies calories don't have to be consumed in a traditional fashion.
Physics dictates that those 5 options +/- exercise are literally the only way we are able to gain/maintain/lose.1 -
All those people who say they live with "one of those people that never gains weight"...
Just how long have you been monitoring their diet, weight, and exercise 24/7?
A week, a month?
Keep it up for 6 months or a year, THEN tell us they have massively fast metabolisms.
Until then, they're just overeating like anybody else.
And don't just ignore the days where they don't eat like you expect either.5 -
stevencloser wrote: »All those people who say they live with "one of those people that never gains weight"...
Just how long have you been monitoring their diet, weight, and exercise 24/7?
A week, a month?
Keep it up for 6 months or a year, THEN tell us they have massively fast metabolisms.
Until then, they're just overeating like anybody else.
And don't just ignore the days where they don't eat like you expect either.
Yes, I third this.0 -
My brother is one of these. His secret? He only eats once a day, and sometimes only ever other day. For whatever reason, he just doesn’t get hungry, and won’t eat unless somebody reminds him to. He’s been like that his entire life.
That’s my husband! He eats one normal meal a day 5 days a week (dinner), because I make it. No breakfast or lunch most days. Weekends he eats donuts, frozen tacos, desserts, and more caloric dinners. If I only went by what he does at home, he should be enormous. Instead he has a 32” waist.
And now to some people I’m that friend—I eat and drink a lot at parties. But I work put 1-2 HRs a day 6 days a week swim for 18k+ steps a day.
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I’m a little late on this one but my husband & his siblings are all thin. He doesn’t always eat the best but has a pretty good diet overall.
People think he’s naturally thin, I used to think so too, but it’s his lifestyle. Yesterday for example he came home and ate a burger, fries and large milkshake. The only other thing he ate yesterday was a yogurt cause he got so busy at work. He takes the stairs a lot where I take the elevator and walks to meetings all day while 99% of mine are on the phone.4 -
I was that person for a long time. I don't know how much I ate because I never gave it a second thought. What I do know, is that I really hated (and still do hate) the feeling of being too full.
My weight didn't go up until menopause. That's when I put on about ten pounds and found MFP. I can't eat nearly as much now as I could when I was younger.1 -
Genetics12
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Because I am that size 8 person that has a brisket burger & a beer for lunch. I also did a 5k before breakfast which included 1 soft boiled egg, a banana, and a cup of coffee. For dinner I had a salad with flaked salmon and a squeeze of lemon as the "dressing". In the evening I do my strength training workout.
That's how someone can "stuff thier face" and not gain weight.3 -
There are several possible reasons that their TDEE is higher than yours. 1) They are younger 2) They are male and you are female 3) They are less sedentary 4) Your RMR is lower 5) You have some degree of insulin resistance- I'm sure there are other reasons, but those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head.0
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Will_Workout_for_food wrote: »from age 21-30, I ate pretty much 3k calories a day, consisting of pizza, burgers, fries, coke, sushi, everything unhealthy imaginable. I also did NOT work out
Pretty much, huh? Doesn't sound like you were weighing your food or getting a good estimate of your NEAT. I have two friends who claimed that they did this as well. They both started to work out with me and I had them measure their intake. They were barely averaging 2k per week. They had an unhealthy diet but only really ate more than 2.5k on the weekends. The rest of the week they did IF without even knowing it.
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Will_Workout_for_food wrote: »I used to be this person, but I was young.
from age 21-30, I ate pretty much 3k calories a day, consisting of pizza, burgers, fries, coke, sushi, everything unhealthy imaginable. I also did NOT work out
once I hit 31, I went from 125 to 150 in a blink of an eye. it caught up to me.
Now, im back to 130. I burn about 1k calories day from workouts, and stuff my face twice a week, and am able to maintain my weight.
You're probably missing some lifestyle factor that kept your NEAT high. Work, School, transportation. Something changed when you turned 31.1 -
Will_Workout_for_food wrote: »stanmann571 wrote: »Will_Workout_for_food wrote: »I used to be this person, but I was young.
from age 21-30, I ate pretty much 3k calories a day, consisting of pizza, burgers, fries, coke, sushi, everything unhealthy imaginable. I also did NOT work out
once I hit 31, I went from 125 to 150 in a blink of an eye. it caught up to me.
Now, im back to 130. I burn about 1k calories day from workouts, and stuff my face twice a week, and am able to maintain my weight.
You're probably missing some lifestyle factor that kept your NEAT high. Work, School, transportation. Something changed when you turned 31.
my lifestyle was eating lol. im in nyc so u know how much of a foodie we r
and I drove and took public transportation everywhere
I been out of school since 21, and been at a desk job for 10+ years
There you go. Something about your transportation habits changed. Something you don't think of as significant. Or are overlooking in hindsight.
Trust me, I was the same way. 4-6k calories a day. Until I turned 23. Minor changes in job/lifestyle/transportation and the weight just started coming on. I went from 5'11" 160 to 200 in a heartbeat. Just by walking a little less every day, except it wasn't all that little less. It was 2-5 miles. It just seemed little because I was accustomed to it.2 -
Gaining at 2k? Doubtful unless you're bedridden. That's maintenance for a sedentary male at 125. Also, I'm pretty sure it was Lyle Mcdonald who said that at most your genetics will give you a 15% advantage or disadvantage depending on how you look at it. Without proof, I'm sorry, no one here will believe that you subvert the law of thermodynamics.2
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Will_Workout_for_food wrote: »I used to be this person, but I was young.
from age 21-30, I ate pretty much 3k calories a day, consisting of pizza, burgers, fries, coke, sushi, everything unhealthy imaginable. I also did NOT work out
once I hit 31, I went from 125 to 150 in a blink of an eye. it caught up to me.
Now, im back to 130. I burn about 1k calories day from workouts, and stuff my face twice a week, and am able to maintain my weight.
There's no magic that happens once you hit 31. Your body doesn't go "Oh, he's not in his 20s anymore, stop everything!". The main reason older people burn fewer calories is less movement and lower muscle mass.4 -
Will_Workout_for_food wrote: »stanmann571 wrote: »Will_Workout_for_food wrote: »stanmann571 wrote: »Will_Workout_for_food wrote: »I used to be this person, but I was young.
from age 21-30, I ate pretty much 3k calories a day, consisting of pizza, burgers, fries, coke, sushi, everything unhealthy imaginable. I also did NOT work out
once I hit 31, I went from 125 to 150 in a blink of an eye. it caught up to me.
Now, im back to 130. I burn about 1k calories day from workouts, and stuff my face twice a week, and am able to maintain my weight.
You're probably missing some lifestyle factor that kept your NEAT high. Work, School, transportation. Something changed when you turned 31.
my lifestyle was eating lol. im in nyc so u know how much of a foodie we r
and I drove and took public transportation everywhere
I been out of school since 21, and been at a desk job for 10+ years
There you go. Something about your transportation habits changed. Something you don't think of as significant. Or are overlooking in hindsight.
Trust me, I was the same way. 4-6k calories a day. Until I turned 23. Minor changes in job/lifestyle/transportation and the weight just started coming on. I went from 5'11" 160 to 200 in a heartbeat. Just by walking a little less every day, except it wasn't all that little less. It was 2-5 miles. It just seemed little because I was accustomed to it.
wait, what about my transportation change? nothing about that changed. I take public transportation and I drive. always have, and still am
So you are asserting that nothing about your route or schedule changed. from age 21 till today, you drive the exact same time/distance every day, walk the exact same distance to your subway/bus stop and the exact same distance from your subway/bus stop to your office, and ride the exact same elevator to the exact same floor at the exact same time. After work, same in reverse, maybe to include an eatery or pub.
Congratulations, you're a unicorn.11 -
I'm frequently accused of being "that friend" but I assure you, it's not without some degree of effort. If I'm eating a huge meal it's probably because I've had a particularly intense workout, probably more than one that day, or I unintentionally skipped breakfast so I'm super hungry. Or I ate light the day before and saved for the outing (special occasions). When I was in college my friends/roommates swore they saw me eating constantly so they knew how much I ate, but they wanted to believe I was just magically thin so badly that their own confirmation bias had them only recalling times I ate "junk" and not noticing when I passed on snacks or ate a large plate of veggies while everyone else tore apart buffalo wings and fries. I'd say it's a pretty safe bet that your friend isn't a magical calorie negating being, and just moves more or balances calories in a different way (such as skipping meals).6
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You must never forget your digestive biome, nurture it well.7
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I used to think this was a thing until I became "the skinny friend who eats whatever they want". The truth is that yeah, I can have whatever I want, I just can't have a ridiculous amount of it. People have become so used to huge portions that they don't know what a normal amount is. Sure, I'll have some cake, but it's 1 reasonably sized slice, not 1/5 of the cake. I'll go to the all-you-can-eat buffet for lunch, but I cannot really eat more than 2 plates, and I probably will have a snack or nothing at all for dinner, or I've been really active all day. On a whim I'll buy a lemon bar larger than my hand, but I'm only eating half of it because that's a huge lemon bar. I'm down to go to McDonald's, but I buy 1 small fry and 1 sandwich, not 3 sandwiches and a large fry like I've seen some of my friends do. I also undereat on some days and overeat on others, so I break even in the long run.
If you really observe the skinny people who seem to eat whatever they want, they're actually not consuming that many calories overall. I used to have a rail-thin friend who ate a king-sized chocolate bar a day and down Doritos and cola like no other, and I always wondered how she could eat like that and stay so thin. Really, she wasn't eating much at all for lunch, and who knows what she ate for dinner or breakfast.
Losing weight is hard, but maintaining weight is not nearly as hard, so if you're already skinny, you have a lot more calories to work with and you can fit in the junk if you're reasonable about the size of it.3 -
Our perception of what we eat and our own activity level is often off and it is off for other people too. Unless you are tracking the person's actual calorie intake and activity you are likely wrong.
My teenage dd stopped gaining weight and was underweight for her height. I would have sworn she was always eating. I homeschool her and was around her most of the time. I bought groceries that disappeared. She was not super active. Got her checked out at the doctor. Started tracking her food intake. Her calorie intake was much lower than I expected. She was eating less calorie dense foods and drinks than I expected and far below what she would have needed to maintain a healthy weight at her age. She ate more calories (not larger amounts of food) and gained 20 lbs over about 6 months. She was not unable to gain weight when she actually ate the right amount of calories to do so.2 -
Go to the maintain weight section of the forum. There is a thread titled “how thin people stay thin” or something like. There’s a documentary where they followed two people around for a week. I found it pretty interesting. These people you are referring to are probably a lot more active than you think. Small activities (not just deliberate exercise) add up to a lot of calories, you’d be surprised.3
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I think a lot of it is age and genetics, which you can't do much about.
I've been around several coworkers who are overweight, and based on what I know they eat for one or possibly two meals, it does seem as though I eat just as much or more. One difference is that almost all of their food may be calorie dense, whereas I have a mix of low and high calorie foods. As far as age, there are several anecdotal accounts mentioned already in this thread. Anabolic hormones like HGH decline in at the absence of an exercise routine, and that will slow down the metabolism. I'm also 24, so I have age on my side even though I do exercise.
Genetics can play a huge role when it comes to bone structure. For example, I'm 5'8" 125 lbs with about 10% body fat. A man with a large bone structure will simply not be able to be that skinny without major health issues.1 -
There was a program on BBC (I think) where someone swore that their skinny friend ate way more then them. So the news show took them to task and recorded everything each ate. You can probably guess the result. I will try to find a link...
Would love the link! This sounds interesting.0 -
they are most likely more active and have a faster acting metabolism.3
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I need to eat less now than I did in the past. I think part of it is the fact that I have lost weight a few times so that may have affected my metabolism (as studied with the biggest losers). My metabolism might have slowed a bit.
I am also less active so I burn fewer calories, and have less muscle to help with that too.
Having kids affected me for quite a while too. My body seemed to want to hold onto a bit of extra weight while breastfeeding, and I was breastfeeding for many years.1
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