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Can you both desire to lose weight and be body positive?
SkylerisSquid
Posts: 17 Member
I am a big fan of fashion bloggers on YouTube and social media in general especially plus sized ones, just more relatable I guess. But, a lot of them push body positivity which I love but I feel like that community exiles everyone trying to 'better' themselves. Can I want to lose weight and be body positive. Because trying to change my appearance and love it is kind of the opposite. I am all for the fat positive movement and general acceptance of everyone but I don't know if I am able to do both.
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Replies
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Many of the things we think of as mutually exclusive, really aren't. This is one of those things. Being or wanting to be normal weight, is certainly in line with loving one's body. In fact, you love it so much that you want to take care of it. You'll actually need to love it, in order to make the effort it takes to take care of it properly. You like your friends because they're nice, not because they are thin - I hope?32
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Since I don't have a clear idea of what 'body positive' is, I'll analogize it as asking if one can both walk and chew gum. Yes. And rub your belly while patting your head. You're a human. Juggle!2
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I never hated my body but I wanted to control my physical health as much as possible. So yes, I think you can be both. And there is definitely a faction of the body positive movement that thinks body positive means remaining at your high weight, which is obviously absolute nonsense.
And I actually think you have more chance of success in the long term with maintenance if you don't approach it from a place of self hate. Because losing weight to make you love yourself generally doesn't end well because your life doesn't miraculously become a fairytale when you get the body you aspire to.13 -
I started losing weight because I saw a picture of myself and was disgusted. I’m down 45 pounds in 5 months and still going. Self-loathing is a great motivator for me.14
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I find myself conflicted as well. I want to be body positive and such but my fitness goals (ability related) are not commensurate with the body type I currently have. So it gets fun juggling those two ideals in my head at the same time. what I try to do is focus on my goals. Visualize them, and what it will take to get there without focusing on my weight or body type too much.
More of a "I'm going to go to the gym to do XZY workout and eat enough but not too much to support my work outs and feel good" than a "I need to workout to lose weight and barely eat because weight loss".3 -
You can certainly be body positive in the sense that you want to look good in clothes now as well as wanting to lose weight for other reasons - say health. Just talk about the now with the fashion/clothes people and the process of getting to the future here
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Of course you can! That YouTube channel is pandering and most certainly trying to sell something.1
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Loving yourself doesn’t have to mean thinking everything about you is perfect. I’m happy with myself as a person, I hate the 100 pounds of fat clinging to my body. These aren’t mutually exclusive propositions.
If you truly love yourself, you should want to be your best self. If you think your best self is thinner, stronger, and fitter than you are now, then find that person.17 -
I was okay with how my body looked when I was overweight. I didn't lose weight to make my body more beautiful I lost because being overweight increased my odds of disease. If it were only about aesthetics I doubt I would have bothered. But I value my health.7
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I think a big part of body positivity is not only learning to love your own body, but supporting others in their decisions about what's best for their bodies, even when their goals are different from yours. I would suggest being careful about what you're saying when you're discussing what your goals are and how you want to "better" yourself. It's easy for that to come across as you saying that your goals are better in a GENERAL sense, even if that's not what you mean.4
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There are other reasons for losing weight other than appearance. Health. Endurance. Increased lifespan. Having more energy...it's a long list.
I think it would be difficult to be "body positive" as you've defined it while being focused on losing weight for the sake of appearances alone. I also don't think anyone decides to lose weight for just one reason. As other posters have said, you don't exist in a vacuum--your decisions are fed (er, metaphorically speaking) by a lot of different factors.
I define body positivity differently. I try to remember that my body is what does everything. It runs, and walks, and dances, and looks up silly cat videos on YouTube. It does everything I need it to, plus more, and I don't get another one. For me, that means I have to take care of it, because it is what takes care of me. Failure to support my body (physically or psychologically) only hurts me in the long run.5 -
SkylerisSquid wrote: »I am a big fan of fashion bloggers on YouTube and social media in general especially plus sized ones, just more relatable I guess. But, a lot of them push body positivity which I love but I feel like that community exiles everyone trying to 'better' themselves. Can I want to lose weight and be body positive. Because trying to change my appearance and love it is kind of the opposite. I am all for the fat positive movement and general acceptance of everyone but I don't know if I am able to do both.
If the community exiles everyone trying to "better" themselves stop following that community. Body positivity is a made-up thing so it can literally mean anything to you. A lot of youtube vloggers or instagram stars have no want to better themselves and get healthy. A lot of them are in denial. But there are also a lot of them who got healthy, lost the weight, and want to motivate you to "better" yourself. I'd suggest following someone such as @ericafitlove or @graciesjourney (both on instagram and I think youtube).3 -
Yes they are not exclusive. I'm a professional musician and confident in my skills but I still strive to be better. Striving to be better doesn't necessarily mean you are very unhappy with what you currently are.6
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Certainly.
I've lost ~20 lbs since my profile pic was taken. I'm shooting to lose about another 20. losing those 40 pounds will make it easier for me to run, and will improve my ability to do other neat tricks.2 -
I was positive I was too fat.
I was positive I would be healthier and fitter if I lost weight.
I also don't base my personal value on my appearance.
I'm not, especially after my sister died early, after a totally miserable decade with her life being restricted by being morbidly obese, in constant pain and in dreadful health.I am all for the fat positive movement
If that "community" doesn't cherish people who try to improve themselves then exiling yourself would seem to be a good idea. Doesn't mean you have to change your views but don't surround yourself with people who hold you back.
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I agree with the others that "body positivity" is an overly vague term.
I try not to judge others for their weight or value them less because of their weight (emphasis on "try" because I think we all have biases and prejudices that creep in if we're not careful). I'm not their doctor and it's none of my business to evaluate their health or fitness for them.
That said, I think pretty much anybody can work on improving their health (even if you're already really healthy).
So I guess the way to reconcile "body positivity" and a desire to lose weight is to remember that everybody has room to improve health and fitness. You can love yourself, value yourself, and have healthy self-esteem, while simultaneously working towards improving your health. (Doesn't that kind of apply to everything in life?)5 -
Once you have a nice body you can be quite positive about yourself.3
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We invest time and energy into things we love, so self improvement is simply an act of love.
The simple fact that a group is attempting to "exile" anyone improving themselves tells you much about their mindset. Doesn't seem like positivity at all.3 -
I can only speak for myself but all of it - the self-love, the body positivism, the strides toward a healthy lifestyle - is a work in progress. However, I didn't get anywhere with it until I started to be gentle with the me I was in the moment and the body I had in the moment.
I loved my body at its highest weight because it fed my child. I loved it because it birthed my children. I loved it because in spite of my choices it was still working pretty well, all things considered. I believed and still believe that no matter what my physical form, I should have the same respect and rights as every other human.
I started working on my health, fitness, and weight because I deserve to be the healthiest, strongest version of myself. I did it for my mental health at first but eventually for my physical health, and yes even my vanity at times.
We don't need to think ourselves hypocritical. For example, while I am losing weight, I am not judging others of any size for the positive or negative - they are who they are just as I was who I was at my highest weight - nothing was going to change me except me.10 -
absolutely.
I didn't lose the weight to feel better about myself or to look better...I lost it for health reasons.
I always knew I looked fine and had enough confidence that is can border on cockiness (and I am good with that too btw)
I actually find with lots of people that if they lose the weight to "feel better about themselves" chances are they will regain either because they don't feel better about themselves or they aren't in a space where maintenance is attainable to them because they haven't dealt with the issues that got them fat in the first place.
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If you hate yourself you wont love yourself enough to lose weight. But if you delude yourself into thinking that being overweight is positive, you're doing mental gymnastics to make up for your inability to do physical gymnastics.
Nobody looks better overweight, nobody feels better overweight. You aren't a bad person and you shouldn't feel embarrassed about having a problem. My problem is just more visible than other people's problems. But it would be dangerous for me to call my problem a part of who I am, except from the perspective of a challenge to be overcome.6 -
SkylerisSquid wrote: »Can I want to lose weight and be body positive.
IMO, absolutely. One of the things I found happened when I started exercising again -- way before I hit the weight I wanted to be -- was that I felt better about my body, and what it could do, and even kind of fond of it. But I'd separate my body from "how my body looks." I didn't have that old hatred of how my body looked, but I could neutrally look at it and think about the things I wanted to change or watch progress and be proud. But I still loved my body in that it could do things and is necessary for me and, indeed, is me.
Does that make any sense?1 -
kommodevaran wrote: »Many of the things we think of as mutually exclusive, really aren't. This is one of those things. Being or wanting to be normal weight, is certainly in line with loving one's body. In fact, you love it so much that you want to take care of it. You'll actually need to love it, in order to make the effort it takes to take care of it properly. You like your friends because they're nice, not because they are thin - I hope?
And this is a really great point/way of thinking of it, IMO.1 -
micahnelson wrote: »If you hate yourself you wont love yourself enough to lose weight. But if you delude yourself into thinking that being overweight is positive, you're doing mental gymnastics to make up for your inability to do physical gymnastics.
Nobody looks better overweight, nobody feels better overweight. You aren't a bad person and you shouldn't feel embarrassed about having a problem. My problem is just more visible than other people's problems. But it would be dangerous for me to call my problem a part of who I am, except from the perspective of a challenge to be overcome.
people don't always look worse overweight and some do actually feel better overweight...
and its' not mental gymnastics ...as I know lots of obese women (not personally) that can get into yoga poses I wouldn't dream of.
I don't think that people who are overweight shouldn't lose the weight but....it shouldn't be an either/or thing.3 -
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micahnelson wrote: »If you hate yourself you wont love yourself enough to lose weight. But if you delude yourself into thinking that being overweight is positive, you're doing mental gymnastics to make up for your inability to do physical gymnastics.
Nobody looks better overweight, nobody feels better overweight. You aren't a bad person and you shouldn't feel embarrassed about having a problem. My problem is just more visible than other people's problems. But it would be dangerous for me to call my problem a part of who I am, except from the perspective of a challenge to be overcome.
people don't always look worse overweight and some do actually feel better overweight...
and its' not mental gymnastics ...as I know lots of obese women (not personally) that can get into yoga poses I wouldn't dream of.
I don't think that people who are overweight shouldn't lose the weight but....it shouldn't be an either/or thing.
I like what you did there. 2 -
micahnelson wrote: »If you hate yourself you wont love yourself enough to lose weight. But if you delude yourself into thinking that being overweight is positive, you're doing mental gymnastics to make up for your inability to do physical gymnastics.
Nobody looks better overweight, nobody feels better overweight. You aren't a bad person and you shouldn't feel embarrassed about having a problem. My problem is just more visible than other people's problems. But it would be dangerous for me to call my problem a part of who I am, except from the perspective of a challenge to be overcome.
people don't always look worse overweight and some do actually feel better overweight...
and its' not mental gymnastics ...as I know lots of obese women (not personally) that can get into yoga poses I wouldn't dream of.
I don't think that people who are overweight shouldn't lose the weight but....it shouldn't be an either/or thing.
Being obese is not healthy. You can do all the yoga poses you want but just being obese, just having more fat on your body is not healthy.
I think there's a difference between loving yourself and then thinking being overweight is okay. This is the slippery slope of "body positivity" and "fat acceptance". You hear these instagram stars say things like "I swim 2km a day" or "I can do yoga". The thing with these exercises is they're not very taxing on the body. I went hiking with my completely out of shape boyfriend when I was 230lbs. He is thin but not active and I almost died while he hadn't even broken a sweat.
People usually look bad obese and I guarantee you they would all feel better if they weren't.7 -
eliciaobrien1 wrote: »micahnelson wrote: »If you hate yourself you wont love yourself enough to lose weight. But if you delude yourself into thinking that being overweight is positive, you're doing mental gymnastics to make up for your inability to do physical gymnastics.
Nobody looks better overweight, nobody feels better overweight. You aren't a bad person and you shouldn't feel embarrassed about having a problem. My problem is just more visible than other people's problems. But it would be dangerous for me to call my problem a part of who I am, except from the perspective of a challenge to be overcome.
people don't always look worse overweight and some do actually feel better overweight...
and its' not mental gymnastics ...as I know lots of obese women (not personally) that can get into yoga poses I wouldn't dream of.
I don't think that people who are overweight shouldn't lose the weight but....it shouldn't be an either/or thing.
Being obese is not healthy. You can do all the yoga poses you want but just being obese, just having more fat on your body is not healthy.
I think there's a difference between loving yourself and then thinking being overweight is okay. This is the slippery slope of "body positivity" and "fat acceptance". You hear these instagram stars say things like "I swim 2km a day" or "I can do yoga". The thing with these exercises is they're not very taxing on the body. I went hiking with my completely out of shape boyfriend when I was 230lbs. He is thin but not active and I almost died while he hadn't even broken a sweat.
People usually look bad obese and I guarantee you they would all feel better if they weren't.
You mean like the Obese guy next to my name? He's 253-260 lbs.2 -
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eliciaobrien1 wrote: »micahnelson wrote: »If you hate yourself you wont love yourself enough to lose weight. But if you delude yourself into thinking that being overweight is positive, you're doing mental gymnastics to make up for your inability to do physical gymnastics.
Nobody looks better overweight, nobody feels better overweight. You aren't a bad person and you shouldn't feel embarrassed about having a problem. My problem is just more visible than other people's problems. But it would be dangerous for me to call my problem a part of who I am, except from the perspective of a challenge to be overcome.
people don't always look worse overweight and some do actually feel better overweight...
and its' not mental gymnastics ...as I know lots of obese women (not personally) that can get into yoga poses I wouldn't dream of.
I don't think that people who are overweight shouldn't lose the weight but....it shouldn't be an either/or thing.
Being obese is not healthy. You can do all the yoga poses you want but just being obese, just having more fat on your body is not healthy.
I think there's a difference between loving yourself and then thinking being overweight is okay. This is the slippery slope of "body positivity" and "fat acceptance". You hear these instagram stars say things like "I swim 2km a day" or "I can do yoga". The thing with these exercises is they're not very taxing on the body. I went hiking with my completely out of shape boyfriend when I was 230lbs. He is thin but not active and I almost died while he hadn't even broken a sweat.
People usually look bad obese and I guarantee you they would all feel better if they weren't.
There are many types of yoga and some will definitely tax your endurance. And swimming? Are you joking? Swimming can be every bit as taxing as hiking.
Being overweight is not in and of itself unhealthy. It can raise your risk of disease, but regular activity can decrease it. I doubt being fit and overweight carries more risk than being unfit and in the healthy weight range.8
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