Describe your job poorly

Helltoupee7
Helltoupee7 Posts: 580 Member
edited November 23 in Chit-Chat
I spend my days doting on 3 smaller versions of me in an effort to keep them off the pole, out of rehab and out of the morgue.

What do you do?
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Replies

  • PaulaWallaDingDong
    PaulaWallaDingDong Posts: 4,641 Member
    Towel jockey, locker key distributor and bartender for sober people, with data entry as a sub-specialty.

    Actually that's kind of perfect.
  • JDMac82
    JDMac82 Posts: 3,192 Member
    Leading tomorrows leaders to the knowledge fountain and resisting the urge to hold their heads under water to force them to learn. Getting them to think past the tip of there nose all while being respectful and not throat punching any of them.
  • NewlifeinNW
    NewlifeinNW Posts: 3,866 Member
    Adult babysitter at work. Also I oversee the safety of product made from the muscles of expired cows, which has been sheared and mashed into round shapes that go onto sandwiches (at least I think they are sandwiches @lstrat115 ) at places with arches. Between my mfp time anyways.
  • RachelElser
    RachelElser Posts: 1,049 Member
    edited December 2017
    I call people and ask for money. In return they get nothing!
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  • NewlifeinNW
    NewlifeinNW Posts: 3,866 Member
    edited December 2017
    UrBaconMeCr8zy wrote: »
    I harass people for months on end to aquire a service they already have for a much higher margin

    If you are the guy who stands in the Wal Mart electronic section asking people if they have direct tv....Just know that I will go to any lengths to alter my path to avoid your gaze. I will also pretend not to hear you, that you are invisible, and possibly that I have leprosy to avoid talking to you.
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    I keep *kitten* moving
  • NewlifeinNW
    NewlifeinNW Posts: 3,866 Member
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    I use a long cylinder attached at one end to the floor and the other to the ceiling to bring joy to the people

    Have you ever met and fell in love with a Celebrity though?
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  • kakaovanilya
    kakaovanilya Posts: 647 Member
    I object to everything
  • dwrightlaw
    dwrightlaw Posts: 804 Member
    I work my *kitten* off trying to keep ungrateful alleged criminals from getting a tax payer funded time out in the pokey
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  • NewlifeinNW
    NewlifeinNW Posts: 3,866 Member
    UrBaconMeCr8zy wrote: »
    csbnga wrote: »
    UrBaconMeCr8zy wrote: »
    I harass people for months on end to aquire a service they already have for a much higher margin

    If you are the guy who stands in the Wal Mart electronic section asking people if they have direct tv....Just know that I will go to any lengths to alter my path to avoid your gaze. I will also pretend not to hear you, that you are invisible, and possibly that I have leprosy to avoid talking to you.

    Is that why no-one makes eye contact with me?

    I can only speak for myself, but I don't talk to people that aren't at least 6'3". Its nothing personal, just my thing. I'm sure you are nice and all, but not quite tallish enough.
  • andfivesixseveneight
    andfivesixseveneight Posts: 140 Member
    A dense sticky center of responsibility wrapped in a sweet fluffy layer of compassion rolled in crisp proficiency and drenched with never ending documentation. My job satisfies!
  • larryb0y
    larryb0y Posts: 1 Member
    I make pretty pictures.... of manholes and parking lots.
  • angel4732
    angel4732 Posts: 14,898 Member
    I get inside minds
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
    I secure things
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  • km8907
    km8907 Posts: 3,861 Member
    I do stuff for old people.
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    km8907 wrote: »
    I do stuff for old people.

    Go on....
  • MonkeyMel21
    MonkeyMel21 Posts: 2,396 Member
    I force injured people in to uncomfortable positions and then irradiate them while I watch through a tiny lead lined window.
  • Lipsmahoney
    Lipsmahoney Posts: 512 Member
    I play Where's Waldo with cancer and look for rogue swimmers post vasectomy.
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