Is it appropriate for my boyfriend to ask me to pay him to live with him?
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Have you considered you’re not taking it far enough and he needs to be making monthly installments on a payment plan to you for having worried you like this?6
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Actually you know what, have him send me $20 too. For my time. I have been more than generous.8
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WhereIsPJSoles wrote: »Have you considered you’re not taking it far enough and he needs to be making monthly installments on a payment plan to you for having worried you like this?
Absolutely he should.0 -
Yes and maybe sue him for mental abuse and dispair.2
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Bottom line I just finished talking with my boyfriend and I told him point blank that I am not giving him a cent if he wants me to live with him. I also told him that if we get married I will not pay for food or anything else because he should take care of me and he said that he prefers it that way. I also told him that I am willing to clean and cook sometimes but he can't count on it. Right now we are still hanging out so I will get back to you guys later.
"...and they lived happily ever after"3 -
Bottom line I just finished talking with my boyfriend and I told him point blank that I am not giving him a cent if he wants me to live with him. I also told him that if we get married I will not pay for food or anything else because he should take care of me and he said that he prefers it that way. I also told him that I am willing to clean and cook sometimes but he can't count on it. Right now we are still hanging out so I will get back to you guys later.
I have so many questions.. :grumble:2 -
Bottom line I just finished talking with my boyfriend and I told him point blank that I am not giving him a cent if he wants me to live with him. I also told him that if we get married I will not pay for food or anything else because he should take care of me and he said that he prefers it that way. I also told him that I am willing to clean and cook sometimes but he can't count on it. Right now we are still hanging out so I will get back to you guys later.
Bottomline: If you are having issues after ONLY three weeks, you will always have issues. Count in it!0 -
eccomi_qui wrote: »Bottom line I just finished talking with my boyfriend and I told him point blank that I am not giving him a cent if he wants me to live with him. I also told him that if we get married I will not pay for food or anything else because he should take care of me and he said that he prefers it that way. I also told him that I am willing to clean and cook sometimes but he can't count on it. Right now we are still hanging out so I will get back to you guys later.
You’re my dream girl
If this was a movie about shades of grey it would be a good thing!0 -
Your father took care of your mother...that's a very traditional model. And I won't say that invalid. For some couples that works.
What your partner is putting forward is a typical modern set up: both partners contributing to the economic well-being of the household.
What you want to do is the expectation that you lived--that the man takes care of the economics of the whole family. If that's the case, you need to find a man who is willing to do that. The two of you are working on way different modes of expectations.
The traditional model is not as common as it was a few generations ago. One reason is purely economic: wages in the USA have been relatively stagnant since the 1970s. Also, women now go into adulthood with the expectation of having a career and therefore wage earning capacity.
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kenyonhaff wrote: »Your father took care of your mother...that's a very traditional model. And I won't say that invalid. For some couples that works.
What your partner is putting forward is a typical modern set up: both partners contributing to the economic well-being of the household.
What you want to do is the expectation that you lived--that the man takes care of the economics of the whole family. If that's the case, you need to find a man who is willing to do that. The two of you are working on way different modes of expectations.
The traditional model is not as common as it was a few generations ago. One reason is purely economic: wages in the USA have been relatively stagnant since the 1970s. Also, women now go into adulthood with the expectation of having a career and therefore wage earning capacity.
Oh...and the thought that women aren't smart enough or capable enough to work has all but gone away as well. Thank the Lord I do not need or want someone to take care of me. This is all over the top pure non-sense0 -
Bottom line I just finished talking with my boyfriend and I told him point blank that I am not giving him a cent if he wants me to live with him. I also told him that if we get married I will not pay for food or anything else because he should take care of me and he said that he prefers it that way. I also told him that I am willing to clean and cook sometimes but he can't count on it. Right now we are still hanging out so I will get back to you guys later.
This made me roll my eyes
GET IT TOGETHER!!
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This is my first time coming to these forums, and I gotta say... I am not disappointed.9
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positivelynicki wrote: »This is my first time coming to these forums, and I gotta say... I am not disappointed.
Way to stay positive2 -
positivelynicki wrote: »This is my first time coming to these forums, and I gotta say... I am not disappointed.
You haven't seen nothing yet! Stick around.
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Bottom line I just finished talking with my boyfriend and I told him point blank that I am not giving him a cent if he wants me to live with him. I also told him that if we get married I will not pay for food or anything else because he should take care of me and he said that he prefers it that way. I also told him that I am willing to clean and cook sometimes but he can't count on it. Right now we are still hanging out so I will get back to you guys later.
Does he have a brother?
I wanna be lazy and contribute nothing to a relationship and maybe cook and clean here and there.
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Wait until she reads the poo thread.
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My husband and I pay each pay 1/2 our rent once we moved in together. I think it's fair. Both people use the place, the appliances, the electric, water, etc. If you have your own place and don't want to pay him to live in his, maybe suggest that he move in with you. Idk. Just ideas. I am cool with splitting costs with my husband since living is so expensive.0
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My husband and I pay each pay 1/2 our rent once we moved in together. I think it's fair. Both people use the place, the appliances, the electric, water, etc. If you have your own place and don't want to pay him to live in his, maybe suggest that he move in with you. Idk. Just ideas. I am cool with splitting costs with my husband since living is so expensive.
What is wrong with you? You guys must be haute couture or something1 -
liftorgohome wrote: »Wait until she reads the poo thread.
Whoa whoa whoa. I missed a poo thread?? Where... WHERE?0 -
WTF 11 pages on this? If you have kids and a house and cars and a dog and want the finer things in life like vacations then you need two incomes period. It's not the 70's anymore. Everything should be 50/50 no matter who makes more.4
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liftorgohome wrote: »Wait until she reads the poo thread.
Whoa whoa whoa. I missed a poo thread?? Where... WHERE?
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Bottom line I just finished talking with my boyfriend and I told him point blank that I am not giving him a cent if he wants me to live with him. I also told him that if we get married I will not pay for food or anything else because he should take care of me and he said that he prefers it that way. I also told him that I am willing to clean and cook sometimes but he can't count on it. Right now we are still hanging out so I will get back to you guys later.
Does he have a brother?
I wanna be lazy and contribute nothing to a relationship and maybe cook and clean here and there.
This is great!1 -
liftorgohome wrote: »WTF 11 pages on this? If you have kids and a house and cars and a dog and want the finer things in life like vacations then you need two incomes period. It's not the 70's anymore. Everything should be 50/50 no matter who makes more.
My most recent ex would disagree.
He believed that it should be split by what we bring into the house.
He made double what I did.1 -
liftorgohome wrote: »WTF 11 pages on this? If you have kids and a house and cars and a dog and want the finer things in life like vacations then you need two incomes period. It's not the 70's anymore. Everything should be 50/50 no matter who makes more.
But, what if I make 5x as much as you? Should the mortgage still be split 50/50 or should we create a spreadsheet that allocates everything proportionately to income? And how much does the dog contribute?
Edit to add: If you can't afford 50% of the mortgage, can I foreclose on you and kick you out?2 -
Yes split the total income evenly. So I make $100K you make $50 then we split $150.1
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liftorgohome wrote: »WTF 11 pages on this? If you have kids and a house and cars and a dog and want the finer things in life like vacations then you need two incomes period. It's not the 70's anymore. Everything should be 50/50 no matter who makes more.
But, what if I make 5x as much as you? Should the mortgage still be split 50/50 or should we create a spreadsheet that allocates everything proportionately to income? And how much does the dog contribute?
Please see the poo thread for dog contributions1 -
You bring 100% sausage
I bring 100% sausage
That’s 200% sausage. We’ll live like kings, baby.3 -
So, wait.... he needs to pay for everything and you only cook and clean "here and there"? It sounds like to me that YOU are proposing that he pays you to live with YOU.I hate being crass, but what is he getting here while you stockpile your income?1
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liftorgohome wrote: »Yes split the total income evenly. So I make $100K you make $50 then we split $150.
I'd rather be lazy than make $50 a year.0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afvzQCQmTU4&t=28s
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