WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MARCH 2018
Replies
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(((Sharon)))
(((Kelly)) proud of you for calling out your daughter. Good for putting a stop to her controlling ways.
Give yourselves the gift of time to do things just for yourself. You both have gone through major upset.
If possible when I have a major upset I try to give myself three days to get my perspective. For me it is a Twainism. Mark Twain would not act on something that upset him for three days to give himself a chance to rally his response.
Penny support you in putting your health first. Also you are not letting their problems become yours. They will figure something out.
I have a friend who needs to clean out her mom's house. One of her brothers is coming from out of town during her spring break insisting she come and work with him to clean out the home. I told her let him do it if he wants to she is under no obligation to go down and work at that time. She has already done more than her share in clearing her mom's home. She is one who needs to put herself first and give herself a chance to breathe.
Margaret 5 -
Sharon, oh my sweet friend, I wish i could whisk it all away. Unfortunately many many of us have been through the same, it hurts beyond words, I know. My husband was an ordained Baptist pastor and I found handwritten notes. You deserve so much more.
We are here for you, surround yourself with those that love you. Praying for you
Janetr OKC5 -
Ppppeeeeppppsssss-
Hi3 -
pip oops, sorry, the burning rice fields are way south of Redding. My bad. Ready for triple digit summers?
Superbright lightning and long loud rolling thunder all night long. So bright it woke me before the BOOMs. Incorporated Scooter's twitching into my dreams, late at airport for important business trip, trouble finding gate, no passport, GAAAHHH! Happy to wake up.
Karen in Va Strong Women Stay Young, weights workout
Terry, ground chicken, hmm, maybe ...
Meg ((Hugs)) Sending calm, healing thoughts.
Margaret love the meditation. It's on the Insight Timer app too.
Penny "nitpicky" I resemble that remark!
Lenora a VERY happy birthday to you... but I wouldn't give Louis any ideas about that blue band ;}
Allie "The more I know of some people the better I love my dogs."
Becca Bet whoever listens to your voicemail will get as big a kick out of it as I did!
Sharon,
my heart aches for you. You are wise to speak with the lawyer before (and if) talking to him or the ex. What a betrayal! 
For now, I wouldn't focus on the verity of the past, but concentrate on taking care of yourself now. We're here for you.
Caroline keep up the good work! There's more potassium in a sweet potato than a banana
https://www.prevention.com/eatclean/13-foods-that-have-more-potassium-than-a-banana
KJ wow! May I channel you the next time someone tries to emotional blackmail me? Brava!
Lisa "... it's that sense of despair that pulls us off the path..." YES and then the guilt that keeps us from returning. Like in meditation, diversions happen, key is to note, then gently return focus. "Self-inflicted, and can be self-cured", thank YOU!
Welcome Beeps.
Time to meditate, exercise, breakfast, prep for T'ai Chi and try to get some more steps in. Can NOT believe how few steps the iPhone registers, surely I walk more?
Yesterday
Walk Tumble: yes
Log: yes
Meditate: no
Exercises: no
Steps: 5187 vs goal 4602
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD.
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Sending love and big (((HUGS))) to Sharon and KJ. Ooooh! How it hurts! Just shows the importance of good, strong boundaries.
Plus a very big hug to Meg.
I've finished the edits my DH is doing. Then I remembered an important episode I hadn't included when my brother didn't come home at tea time. Police were called. He did turn up eventually. Oh, the 1950s, when 7 year olds roamed the streets on their own!!!
I've got another read through to do, then I've got to make a final decision on the title and produce a blurb etc.
I would like to link a few photos, but can't decide on the best way. Is there a free public platform? I'm not sure I want to go through the hassle of a website.
Making a very garlicky chicken dish in the IP for tonight. I've got 20 whole cloves.
I'm using a glass of wine to cook it in and will have 250 mls with my dinner. That's the first alcohol in two weeks.
Much love, Heather UK xxxxxxx6 -
(((Sharon)))
I'm another one who stayed with my first husband hoping we could work it out. He was a "religious" man, always spouting passages from the bible to control children and me. Looking back I sometimes wonder how I was so blind to his affairs and selfishness.....but when I love, I love fiercely.. Now life is different, not perfect but my second husband loves me fiercely and we are good friends. Life is good.
Betsy in NW Washington6 -
Hi beautiful ladies,
Barbie, so glad Jake is still on the mend.
Joyce, probably best to talk with your dr before adjusting your meds. ((Hugs))
Sharon, my heart aches for you. Wish I could be there with you, but will be have to be here for you (and sitting on your shoulder). I think you are very wise to see a lawyer and get your ducks in a row. Confronting either of them gets you nothing. If you feel you want to say something, write it down and hold on to it for a later date. When I was going through my divorce, I keep telling myself that the best revenge is to do better. As hard as it is, take the high ground. And love yourself enough to give yourself time. This is very hard emotionally. (((BUG HUGS)))
Caroline, you should be so proud of yourself for making it to Day 6. I’m sure you will make it. You go girl!
Penny, good for you putting your health first and turning down the translation job.
Okie, congratulations on the 3.2lb lost! You are rocking it.
Kelley, PHEW! Breath girl. I would be fuming too. You were so smart to handle your DD the way you did. Took the wind right out of her sales.
NYKaren, You CAN do this.
Lisa, You are sooo close to onederland. You can do it girl.
Terry in VT looking forward to the weekend.7 -
Putting more stuff on Freecycle. A brand new sun lounger, an iron bedhead, antique style, and loads of bamboo canes.
I think I've already got a reply to the sun lounger in 5 mins!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxx
2 replies!
My garlic chicken has come out BOOOOOTIFUL! :bigsmile:6 -
Sharon ~ My heart goes out to you! I can’t imagine the hurt you must be feeling.
Kelly ~ It seems as though you must spend a lot of the money you earn making life fun for those day care children. Lots of hard work too! I am sorry your daughter overstepped her bounds.
Our stove exhaust fan had a burnt out LED light bulb. We couldn't get it out no matter what so my DH decided to break the glass in the bulb and try to get it out that way. When he did that the socket the bulb was in broke too. So now we have an exhaust with no light. Can't order the parts to repair as I guess it's out of date.
The Pom has always had bad allergies and now is getting bald spots all over his rear legs and butt. Bathed him with a micro something the vet recommended and hope it gets better. Afraid he might have Cushing's disease. Have any of you dealt with that?
Carol in GA4 -
Hi gals. I'm still around. I'm really struggling right now. I think the depression is under control, but now I have anxiety which drives me nuts, and it's to the point of just being paralyzed. This is a new one for me. But I do have a friend who said she would check in with me every night. So maybe that will help. Cheers and good wishes for all of you! Meg from Omaha where I think I see the sun peeking out!
Meg, I know how you feel as I have the same problems. Really hard when no one understands what you are going through.
RV Rita6 -
pip oops, sorry, the burning rice fields are way south of Redding. My bad. Ready for triple digit summers?
Superbright lightning and long loud rolling thunder all night long. So bright it woke me before the BOOMs. Incorporated Scooter's twitching into my dreams, late at airport for important business trip, trouble finding gate, no passport, GAAAHHH! Happy to wake up.
Karen in Va Strong Women Stay Young, weights workout
Terry, ground chicken, hmm, maybe ...
Meg ((Hugs)) Sending calm, healing thoughts.
Margaret love the meditation. It's on the Insight Timer app too.
Penny "nitpicky" I resemble that remark!
Lenora a VERY happy birthday to you... but I wouldn't give Louis any ideas about that blue band ;}
Allie "The more I know of some people the better I love my dogs."
Becca Bet whoever listens to your voicemail will get as big a kick out of it as I did!
Sharon, my heart aches for you. You are wise to speak with the lawyer before (and if) talking to him or the ex. What a betrayal! For now, I wouldn't focus on the verity of the past, but concentrate on taking care of yourself now. We're here for you.
Caroline keep up the good work! There's more potassium in a sweet potato than a banana
https://www.prevention.com/eatclean/13-foods-that-have-more-potassium-than-a-banana
KJ wow! May I channel you the next time someone tries to emotional blackmail me? Brava!
Lisa "... it's that sense of despair that pulls us off the path..." YES and then the guilt that keeps us from returning. Like in meditation, diversions happen, key is to note, then gently return focus. "Self-inflicted, and can be self-cured", thank YOU!
Welcome Beeps.
Time to meditate, exercise, breakfast, prep for T'ai Chi and try to get some more steps in. Can NOT believe how few steps the iPhone registers, surely I walk more?
Yesterday
Walk Tumble: yes
Log: yes
Meditate: no
Exercises: no
Steps: 5187 vs goal 4602Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD.
LOVE triple digit summers. grew up on them, miss them, don't tell kirby tho2 -
Thanks to all of you for your kind words and advice. Kate, Penny, Lisa, NY Karen, Karen in Virginia, Lisa, Allie, Beth, Barbie, Margaret, Janetr, Barbara, Heather, Betsy, Terry and Carol. I will probably be needy and leaning on you for support. I do have some friends here that I can vent to and be completely truthful with then there are others where I will need to be more careful with. I hope I know the difference. I will have all of you though and I can't even express how much that means to be. The funny thing is that in the middle of this I have an invitation to spend time in Portugal with my ex and his wife, my ex sis-in-law and her husband. I did tell Larry because I am not good about keeping secrets and have been known to be too honest at times. What a mess! Now I need to keep the fact that I saw the text messages under my hat.
Kylia - You have a lot on your plate. Have a great day on this fantastic Friday.
Kj - Worry does make some of us crazy and then we act out. Good for you for setting your boundaries.
Lisa - You are so close to Onederland! You will be arriving there very soon.
Allie - Thanks! We worked through his affair when Jheri was a baby. This emotional affair is hurting even more. Maybe because of who it is with? Now I wonder if there are even more skeletons in his closet.
Barbie - Thank you. Yes, I grew up believing in the sanctity of marriage. You didn't just throw it away, you worked on it and you fixed it. As a friend said to me " Sometimes they show you who they really are but you just don't want to believe it" I wonder what kind of stories he told her about me when he was in Vancouver. I guess it really doesn't matter. I know that I have tried my best until now when my heart is bleeding. I will come out the other side.
-Sharon in Lethbridge still trying to make sense of this.5 -
Happy belated birthday Lenora!0
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Karen & Michele: We have a call into our vet to get advice about which flea preventative medicine will be okay for our dog. I hope to hear back from him today. Fortunately, there are no current flea issues for us. That will undoubtedly change as the spring gets warmer. :ohwell: I've never heard of interceptor plus.
(((Meg))) I love Margaret's advice and meditation. If your friend doesn't remember to call each night I hope you will reach out and call her.
Heather: Abuse is devastating. My mom was the victim of emotional abuse, and her mom was the abuser. I believe your book will help many people face the monsters in their lives whether they were sexually abused, emotionally abused or physically abused. Your courage in sharing your story is amazing and admirable. (I think your sons will be proud of you once they have a chance to understand.)
CharlieAnn: I think the post is permanent after an hour and you can edit until that time. You don't have to wait to fix something you consider a mistake. :flowerforyou:
Lenora: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! :flowerforyou:
Becca: Eye was pleased to see that you toastally uhgree with Penny, but eye thought you might coastally uhgree with her, too. Playing with words is fun. :flowerforyou:
I love the word play. Thanks to all of you for putting a smile on my face today. Since I'm thinking of mom today I've decided to close with one of her favorite sayings.
Katla in beautiful NW Oregon
My mother had a favorite saying: "Everyone is strange except me and thee, and sometimes I wonder about thee."
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Sharon, I know that it is doubly hard when it is someone you know. With me it was a "good" friend and my DD daycare provider. But I know that you are stronger than you think. You will get through this and be better off at the other end. There is enough of us here that can attest to that. Don't be afraid to reach out to get any help you need. There is not rule that says you have to do this yourself.
Terry3 -
Ladies, hugs!!!!
Happy Friday!
Well eldest Navy son is going to the 5 bedroom, 2.5 bath, 3007 sq ft, $1800 month, rental today at 4 pm to do a walk through. He's going to film it for us. I'm excited!! Not excited to pack, but the move in general.
Took DH to his fav breakfast diner, and I was good, ordering 1 egg over easy, and a biscuit (that was huge!). I ate about 1/4 of the half of the biscuit. I'm thinking I can use the rest for biscuits and gravy for husband tomorrow! We talked about the house the whole time!
He's healing well, and my frisky sailor is returning...,"wink, wink"!
Today is my step fathers party, ( my step sisters words). He passed right before the New Year, but with many elderly in attendance, they waited for the weather to be better, to hold his Celebration of Life.
Today I shall go sit on the river path, and sing opera. My step father was the one that got me interested in singing. We would watch Luciano Pavarotti, on TV and just cry!
Kelly, you were right in point with your alley chat with your daughter. You need to buy some caution tape for the gal! Lordy, boundaries dear daughter!!! Then to threaten you with denying you guys visitation??? Wholly Cannoli! You kept calm under pressure and put her in her place!! Good Momma!
Sharon, (((((((((hugs)))))), friend!!!!
Sadly I was on the cheating side, so I have memories of being one way, then texted another. Its like a fog, where you put your emotions someplace else. You validate it by a set of rules that make no sense whatsoever. I'm not condoning his behavior at all. My behavior had to do with being more of a caregiver than a wife. That I thought by texted to people that told me lies like they cared about me, was OK, and heck I deserved it! I lost my self worth along the way.
Your situation is very different, as he is straddling this fence of old flame, and the marriage with you. My dream for you is where your lawyer knocks him off that fence, (I'm seeing a big gavial of some kind), and he lands in the back yard of his old flame the ex. She looks at him, cleans her rose colored glasses, and realizes there is a reason he was her EX, and sicks her multitude of guard dogs on his behind. As he ius running down the street you see a big tear out of his trousers and his his cute cartoon printed boxers are showing! Fade out..... OK my dreams are a bit like movies but hey. (((((Hugs))))))!!!
Becca
Oregon
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Sharon, sending out bucket loads of love and strength. I have been in the same boat as you, finding texts like, "You are my perfect woman." "I will try to enjoy my vacation but I will be bored- with her (me)" and other incredibly hurtful texts. And after all the sacrifices I have made for that man, giving up my country and my family and my career...I was hurt and furious! And there was MORE- not just one woman he was chatting too and I found other stuff on his phone that was totally unacceptable. I walked out, saw a lawyer and prepared to divorce him. But we are Christians, and God stepped in and gave us a miracle to save our marriage at the blackest of times. I am now a believer in the power of prayer having experienced this valley of despair... For a long time, it was only me who was working at trying to save our marriage and I thought, what's the point? I am making all the effort and he is making zero, and this is All His Fault! Plus, I was very angry at God for allowing this to happen to me when I had always been "good" I didn't deserve this. Why did I have to experience this pain? If this was God's plan for me,then I wanted no more of God! But here I am, six years later and our marriage is a million times better than it was, healed, trust has been restored, love deepened and we are so blessed now. Thank God I hung in there and got through the Bad Times...
I know that every relationship is different and some are unsavable, but I can say firsthand that some can be saved. I will support your decision, whatever it may be!
Kelly, you are amazing! A beach in your kitchen, I LOVE it! I totally understand about having a demanding daughter who thinks she knows best. My youngest is Dominant and pushy and I have to stand up to her sometimes. You still love them heaps. I believe that every relationship you have teaches you something about living better and builds your character, makes you a better person. I will send up some prayers for healing in your relationship with your DH as well.
Lenora, Happy day to you and get better soon! Wendy 4 -
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Hidee Ho Ladies~
been busy busy today..so my attorney has a proposal set and if Tom agrees to it, than we can get this taken care of Monday!! whooo hooo.. if he doesnt agree than we wait another month and he will end up paying more attorney fees his choice.. he took almost 100,000 dollars out of his 401k over the last 3 yrs and part of it was to buy his camero,and more to pay my attorney fees, and he paid off our cars, but then he just wants to give me 1/2 of whats left.. but thats not gonna fly.. he has to pay me 1/2 of what it was before he took all that out..
plus if he needs to mortgage the florida house or sell it Oh well..
when we went to court and did the special masters they asked that he pay 40% of his gross to me, which would be more alimony a week, but we are going to keep it as it is and he has to pay in other areas.. here is hoping it works out.. and get this done once and for all.. but only caveat of that is I will have to pay the rest of attorney fees, which I just gave her all of my income tax today, and still owe 1300.00 and then court on Monday at 385.00 an hr.
enough about me
Wendy ~ bless you glad you could make a go of it, I was emotionally and verbally abused , and waited on him hand and foot, he never had it so good.. I mowed lawns, snowblowed, cooked cleaned everything, and still got cheated on,
I am blessed to have wonderful friends and family who Love me and an awesome doggie and a condo I love.. and my zen outdoor den for the summer..
Now if we can get a move on with my dads estate that would be great, but there needs to be alot more money to do that with..6 -
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Hi folks.
• Lenora - Happy Birthday! Hope you enjoyed your day.
• Heather - I admire you for writing your story. I think about writing but don’t know if i ever will. (BTW - I like the title option “A Very Nice Man”.) Some children have trouble seeing their parents as real people. People with all these experiences they can’t imagine. I hope your sons realize this is your story. Your experience.
I don’t know your story, but the idea makes me think of my own. My father made many mistakes. Huge. I expected better from him. One day on a car trip he shared some of his childhood experiences with me. It was a lightbulb moment for me. Suddenly things began to make more sense. It didn’t excuse his behavior - but it certainly gave me some insight... perspective. He’s 91 now. Over the years he’s done his best to apologize and work on relationships. I hope your sons gain some insight and perspective from your story. It may resolve some internalized thoughts of their own as it did for me.
• Sharon - I’m so sorry you’re going through this in your marriage. 36 years is a long relationship. Deceit and betrayal hurts. He is very foolish. Sending you prayers for strength and peace.
• Sad Update on my BIL Thank you for all the hugs and warm wishes. My dear brother-in-law (72) passed away on 3/14 from leukemia. He fought hard for 1.5 years. My sister and niece are doing well. We were so fortunate to have him in our lives as long as we did. He was a good man. Sadly, the VA is backed up with burial business. His funeral is planned for Monday, March 26th.
• My goal for March is to just hold on and get through it. But then - I remember after my uncle passed in February I thought March will be a good month - it’s gotta be better than February. I was wrong. The lesson is - we can’t change the past, live today, look forward to tomorrow. I’m not doing well. Everything feels like a struggle. Not eating well or sleeping well. I’ve let a few financial chores slip. That’s so unlike me. So I’m working from a list today to stay focused and get my chores caught up. But honestly I feel like i just want to crawl in bed, pull the covers over me and nap.
— Ginger in Texas —12 -
Whew! So much reading to catch up!
I have used Advantage on my cats, a few drops on the back of the neck, where they can't reach to lick. I got it from the vet and it was pricey but it did work like a hot "darn". Fortunately, didn't have to use it all the time, just would treat them when I noticed any issues. Of course, if one was getting treated, they all got treated! I'm down to one now, and she hasn't really gone out for a few years now so haven't had to worry about it.
Sharon, I'm so sorry to hear that your hubby hasn't been working as hard as you have on your marriage. I'm glad you are consulting with a lawyer, definitely don't let him know what you're planning. And while this may not help right now, at least you know that you have done all you could to save the relationship. Unfortunately, it does take two.
Lenora, Happy Belated Birthday!
Kelly, sandbox in the house! You are a much braver woman than I! lol Good for you for calling out your daughter on the emotional blackmail! Probably a good thing that she lives far enough away that you couldn't just go over there and give her a smack! Maybe she needs reminding that you aren't in danger of starving on the street? Or of moving in with her? Although it does seem as though you handled it very well!
Okie, congrats on the loss!
Okay, someone is on day 6 and doing well, sorry, brain has quit working and I can't remember who, but if you recognize yourself, congrats! You are doing great! One day at a time! Even one meal at a time, if that's what it takes.
Hmmm, I think I need to follow my own advice there..... or at least one snack at a time! lol
Been doing reasonably well, not great, but I can live with most of it. Although I have discovered that I need to put the crackers in the cupboard when I bring them home from the grocery store. I had just put them on the kitchen counter and then when I was doing some other stuff in the kitchen I stopped for a minute and found myself in the cracker box! (face first, of course!) Good thing I did almost an hour on the elliptical before that! And then I cleaned house, so several trips up and down the stairs with and without the vacuum. Also scrubbed out our bathroom extra well, moved the fridge and took out the drawer under the stove to vacuum those two spots. Wow! it gets dusty back and under there!
I sure wish there was an LOL symbol, I have had several good chuckles from you ladies the last few days! Laughter truly is good for the soul! I got a huge chuckle out of MFP changing the name of the shrub to kitten willow!
Janetr, the wreath is beautiful! Dogwood was the first flower name that I thought of when I saw them, even tho dogwoods do only have four petals, some of them look like they have more, just because of the way they are shaped. And I'm a firm believer in artistic license!
Hoping that those of you in the snow belt have managed to dig yourselves out, sure don't envy you! I do not miss the snow at all!
Penny, good for you for saying no! One can only have so much on the plate at once! Stay strong, girl!
Okay, that's it for me for now. Hope everyone has a great day/night!
Evelyn, Vancouver Island5 -
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Sharon, my heart is breaking for you. I cannot imagine.
Ginger, condolences on your BIL’s passing.
There’s more I wanted to comment on, but I’ve forgotten it.
Here’s a sneak peak of the bathroom remodel. I’ll post more when it’s completely done. I have hope that the end is in sight. The shower door install,just got pushed from Monday to Wednesday because the floor is not set or grouted. The walls need one more coat of paint, and the hardware needs to be installed. It’s close!
16 -
Morning everyone
I have just recently joined the group, but I have to admit, I have been skulking as there is so much foing on each and every day and I was trying to cathcup but now realise that it is impossible and it is more like a "jump right in"
I live in Perth in Western Australia with my DH and 16 year old GD. I work full time in an office environment. I have 2 dogs (border collies) who I adore.
I hope to get to know more about you lovely ladies as we go along
Trish in Perth11 -
Katiebug—love the tile and the inset nook, can’t wait to see the paint color and all the fixtures. You are getting so close to being finished!!
NYKAREN5 -
Ginger sorry about your BIL.
Katie looking stunning!!!
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Hi Ladies. It is 730 and I just got home from work, ugh. So this will be brief.
Margaret: thank you so much for the prayer. I copied it down and will use it. It is lovely.
Lenora: happy birthday!
Rori: can't wait to catch up in June!
Tomorrow I have to get my security system checked out. The door that leads into the garage occasionally doesn't set off the alarm. Also taking DH's car in to see if the battery has a loose cable. The battery is new, but sometimes the car is just plain dead. Jiggling the connections fixes the problem. So I think there is just a loose wire or nut or bolt somewhere!
It's been cool and rainy today. Who is hogging the sun???
OK, I'm bushed. Good night and take care. Meg from dreary Omaha8 -
Ginger, so sorry to hear about your BIL passing. May you find comfort in knowing that he is no longer suffering.
{{{HUGS}}}
Evelyn, Vancouver Island4
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