Less Alcohol- June 2018- One Day at a Time
Replies
-
It is disturbing how ugly alcohol can be. It is disturbing how delusional it can make a person. Those lies can be woven and reinforced into this bubble from which a person can go for years not realizing his life is being dismantled. I honestly do not know how that works. How do you drink 14 hours a day? How do you do it for almost 10 years? How do you get away with driving so much for so long? I am honestly not judging I really can't fathom it at that level and I am absolutely paranoid about drinking and driving.
The call last night was not unexpected. Luckily he is still alive and he only needs a cast for his injury. Even better he didn't hit anyone else. Still unsure of any pending legal action since there seems to be a loophole and he might get off on a technicality.
5 -
It is disturbing how ugly alcohol can be. It is disturbing how delusional it can make a person. Those lies can be woven and reinforced into this bubble from which a person can go for years not realizing his life is being dismantled. I honestly do not know how that works. How do you drink 14 hours a day? How do you do it for almost 10 years? How do you get away with driving so much for so long? I am honestly not judging I really can't fathom it at that level and I am absolutely paranoid about drinking and driving.
The call last night was not unexpected. Luckily he is still alive and he only needs a cast for his injury. Even better he didn't hit anyone else. Still unsure of any pending legal action since there seems to be a loophole and he might get off on a technicality.
Thank you for the warm thoughts. I'm sending some back and I'm glad things turned out relatively ok.2 -
It is disturbing how ugly alcohol can be. It is disturbing how delusional it can make a person. Those lies can be woven and reinforced into this bubble from which a person can go for years not realizing his life is being dismantled. I honestly do not know how that works. How do you drink 14 hours a day? How do you do it for almost 10 years? How do you get away with driving so much for so long? I am honestly not judging I really can't fathom it at that level and I am absolutely paranoid about drinking and driving.
The call last night was not unexpected. Luckily he is still alive and he only needs a cast for his injury. Even better he didn't hit anyone else. Still unsure of any pending legal action since there seems to be a loophole and he might get off on a technicality.
It's unreal, isn't it. Someone I know who was going through some serious alcohol problems last year went on a bender, drove drunk and went missing for 12 hours. She woke up in a church parking lot and had no idea how she got there. Lord knows the damage she could have done to herself or to others.
Eventually she lost her license. That and a few other things that happened finally were enough for her to get help. It continues to be a struggle as I'm sure it always will, but I'm happy to report that she has been doing really well these last few months. We all thought she would be dead if she kept things up. So hang in there. Don't lose hope.5 -
Such sad stories today. I see @NovusDies and @Will_Run_for_Food have similar experiences. I had an uncle who drove drunk for dozens of years to and from local bar, car banged up always, who knows how he didn't kill anyone. He was a serious alcoholic but lived to be in his 70s drinking til the end. Such a mystery to me how he could have lasted that long.
@NovusDies I know you're worried and stressed over your friend. I hope he gets help and this is his awakening.
@snoo61 I am so sorry you are going through this. I would probably not tell my dad anything until I hear the results. No need to worry him because He will be so upset for the next few days. That's just my two cents.
On a side note, this is day 4 AF for me. I woke up and feel terrific. I wonder why I ever want to drink again. This feeling is so good. One day at a time.7 -
-
Welp I drank last night. My bestie and I have a thing going on where if we say we are gonna do something, not drink more than 3 drinks for example, then if we go over that then we "pay" a patronage. Yesterday she assigned me (I asked her if I could drink) 1 min jogging on the treadmill (or elliptical) for every drink i had. I'll be doing 9 mins tomorrow after I get out of work. I slept like dog poo last night and don't think I can put in full effort if I were to go today.
That's just how it goes sometimes. Life is a journey. We stumble sometimes and we learn along the way. I bet it was good time:) so that's a positive!2 -
@LC0924 I am smiling because I would do that too. I would say that Emoji sounds like a good drink and secretly hope he'd say "Why don't you just go ahead and have one." But he did the right thing.
This month, you can focus on self care while he's away. There is a wonderful thread called "June Self Care Challenge" that some of us are on and it's a wonderful inspiring thread. Xo3 -
@NovusDies I have been through a very similar situation with my wife’s best friend. She had been drinking all day so we set her up with blankets/pillows to sleep on our couch. I get up to use the bathroom at 3am and see she isn't there anymore. Then I notice my wife’s phone has several missed calls from her friend’s boyfriend. She got pulled over and arrested for a DUI, thankfully not an accident. Still took her many months to hit rock bottom. But glad I can report she hasn’t had a drink in years now.4
-
Will_Run_for_Food wrote: »It's unreal, isn't it. Someone I know who was going through some serious alcohol problems last year went on a bender, drove drunk and went missing for 12 hours. She woke up in a church parking lot and had no idea how she got there. Lord knows the damage she could have done to herself or to others.
Eventually she lost her license. That and a few other things that happened finally were enough for her to get help. It continues to be a struggle as I'm sure it always will, but I'm happy to report that she has been doing really well these last few months. We all thought she would be dead if she kept things up. So hang in there. Don't lose hope.
I don't want to bog the thread down in this but I would be happy right now to move past the "alcohol doesn't affect me like it does most people" stage that he lives in. I never give up all hope but if he doesn't get out of his bubble I will still keep expecting another phone call with worse news.
I am glad your friend got help and is showing improvement.
@eriknj Thanks. It does help to see stories with positive outcomes.
4 -
And while we are on the topic of drinking and driving - I have another horror story from the beer industry. Outside of a liquor store, I just saw a guy take a huge sip out of a 25oz Bud Ice, then pour the rest in a Sprite bottle and get in his car and drive away...
3 -
snoo61....Hoping the best for you. I agree to let Dad know the results when you receive them. Hopefully, it will be good news for you both.
Yes, the whole drinking/driving stupidity. I will admit I have been that stupid in the past. A couple of times seriously impaired, most of the time "JUST" enough to get charged had I gotten pulled over. I never did thankfully. I know of a few people that have lived through that nightmare $20,000 later, got arrested, put in a jail cell etc., BUT, they didn't injure or kill anyone thankfully. To this day 2 of these people are still drinking, one still driving that way & working on DUI #3....Moral of the story for ME: It "could" have been me!! So I'm not on my high horse saying all this, I've been as stupid as the rest of them!! I just never got caught.
Long story short, alcohol MAKES people stupid because it messes with the reasoning part of our brain & allows us to make really stupid decisions like drinking & driving.
12 days in.....woohoo!!! Almost halfway mark to the end of June. We can do it!! YAY!
erikNJ.....I'm hoping you reported the guy!!!9 -
One of my friends got her 3rd dui 5 years ago and that was it. Went to jail for a month. It really messed up her life but she has since gotten it together and is now a nurse and responsible AF citizen. Driving drunk is no joke. You do not want to suffer the consequences of that.6
-
Just reading some blogs online. Found a site that has many different blogs on alcohol addiction.
https://www.healthline.com/health/best-alcoholism-blogs-of-the-year#75 -
https://unpickledblog.com/2017/01/04/replacement-behaviours-ten-things-that-helped-me-kick-booze/?wref=tp
I thought this was a good list; many of us have spoke about these before. I've been seeing more about essential oils curbing cravings. Good night, friends! Xo Love you all!7 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »
erikNJ.....I'm hoping you reported the guy!!!
For one it really just happened suddenly. I was watching him like what the *kitten* is that guy doing, and when it hit me he was gone.
Also, in my industry, if I had to report everything I see like that and take responsibility for every idiots actions - I might as well just quit and become a cop.2 -
Thanks all, I've come to the same conclusion...not to tell him yet. I told my hubby and daughter. They agree with you. I'm actually doing ok, not as freaked as I'd expect. I'm sticking to my goal, or under, not eating any stupider than usual lol, pretty good mind set. Thanks for the support! I'll keep you updated, but won't go on about it, promise.
6 -
Just reading over all of the sad alcohol/drinking + driving stories. My Grandma is a recovering alcoholic who has drank off and on (mostly on) for years and years. Two years ago she drank a 12 pack (and she takes some heavy duty meds as well), ended up falling and breaking her femur, which was protruding from her leg. She drug herself from her kitchen to her bedroom and fell asleep with the bone exposed for hours before being able to call anyone. When my Aunt arrived, it was a horrific site, and something that has scarred her for life. She spent some time in the hospital and her leg healed surprisingly well, but she can't move like she used to. I remember visiting her in her hospital bed and she had to drink two beers a day so she wouldn't have extreme withdrawal symptoms. My Aunt moved in with her after that. It's been a constant struggle.
That was not the first accident she has had over the years - she's broken her hip, wrist, and had various other accidents while drunk. She used to drive drunk all the time - showing up to Sunday dinners wasted and barely able to take off her shoes.
My Dad has also had periods of struggle with alcohol. He lost his job, and frequently ended up in the ER due to falls, etc. We had some rough times a few years ago as well.
These experiences have certainly led to me more closely examining my own relationship with alcohol!9 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »
erikNJ.....I'm hoping you reported the guy!!!
For one it really just happened suddenly. I was watching him like what the *kitten* is that guy doing, and when it hit me he was gone.
Also, in my industry, if I had to report everything I see like that and take responsibility for every idiots actions - I might as well just quit and become a cop.
Hey, I wasn't trying to ride you. I realize the "shock" of seeing something stupid takes time to process & then by the time our brains kick in, it's too late to act the way we'd like. I also realize that we can't "police" everyone or we'd have no time to live our own lives. I just wondered if you were able to call it in. Take care.2 -
Thanks all, I've come to the same conclusion...not to tell him yet. I told my hubby and daughter. They agree with you. I'm actually doing ok, not as freaked as I'd expect. I'm sticking to my goal, or under, not eating any stupider than usual lol, pretty good mind set. Thanks for the support! I'll keep you updated, but won't go on about it, promise.
It's ok to "go on about it" Venting is healthy & this should be the forum to do that. This is a stressor for you & I hope that you keep us all updated. Wishing you peace.5 -
This drinking and driving discussion - so, so scary. I got in a minor fender bender Saturday and I admit that one of the first things I thought was thank freaking god I had no alcohol in my system just in case they wanted to test it. They didn't, but still.5
-
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »lorrainequiche59 wrote: »
erikNJ.....I'm hoping you reported the guy!!!
For one it really just happened suddenly. I was watching him like what the *kitten* is that guy doing, and when it hit me he was gone.
Also, in my industry, if I had to report everything I see like that and take responsibility for every idiots actions - I might as well just quit and become a cop.
Hey, I wasn't trying to ride you. I realize the "shock" of seeing something stupid takes time to process & then by the time our brains kick in, it's too late to act the way we'd like. I also realize that we can't "police" everyone or we'd have no time to live our own lives. I just wondered if you were able to call it in. Take care.
I didn’t take any offense to your comment, just explaining my side. It is a sad part of my job. And I wish I was able to do more. Believe me, I had a moment after it happened where I wished I had been able to do something4 -
So I was thinking about my buddy and I was thinking about the lies of drinking. I guess if you spend a lot more time under the influence the lies can get bigger and easier to believe.
When I was drinking mostly daily I always knew it was a problem. That was never my lie. My biggest lie was that one more day wouldn't really matter. It wasn't an insignificant lie though. That lie was perpetual until I finally forced a break and a set of moderation rules. It makes sense as this lie correlates to the delays starting my weight loss efforts too.
3 -
@JulieAL1969 - awesome list and thanks for sharing. I especially liked the part where she said to eat sugar, LOL!3
-
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »Yes, the whole drinking/driving stupidity. I will admit I have been that stupid in the past.
Boy, me too. Really resonated with me. We have had friends who've been put through the DUI ringer and it is horrendous. Mandatory AA, huge fines, losing license and sometimes jobs. You do NOT want to go there.
Also many congrats on your 12-day streak!
4 -
Just reading over all of the sad alcohol/drinking + driving stories. My Grandma is a recovering alcoholic who has drank off and on (mostly on) for years and years. Two years ago she drank a 12 pack (and she takes some heavy duty meds as well), ended up falling and breaking her femur, which was protruding from her leg. She drug herself from her kitchen to her bedroom and fell asleep with the bone exposed for hours before being able to call anyone. When my Aunt arrived, it was a horrific site, and something that has scarred her for life. She spent some time in the hospital and her leg healed surprisingly well, but she can't move like she used to. I remember visiting her in her hospital bed and she had to drink two beers a day so she wouldn't have extreme withdrawal symptoms. My Aunt moved in with her after that. It's been a constant struggle.
That was not the first accident she has had over the years - she's broken her hip, wrist, and had various other accidents while drunk. She used to drive drunk all the time - showing up to Sunday dinners wasted and barely able to take off her shoes.
My Dad has also had periods of struggle with alcohol. He lost his job, and frequently ended up in the ER due to falls, etc. We had some rough times a few years ago as well.
These experiences have certainly led to me more closely examining my own relationship with alcohol!
oh Eryn - the familial things we go through! how sad your Aunt had to see your Grandma in such a state.
my Dad was a walking catastrophe drunk. i remember as a 9 year old he got so loaded on the plane that my Mom and i had to help him walk off the airplane ramp as we disembarked. it was so embarassing. he often made a fool of himself at get togethers, groping family friends inappropriately (mortifying my Mom to the nth degree). the kicker was when i was 17 and he was 9 sheets to the wind. while they were yelling at each other *pretty much the norm* my Mom started pouring liquor bottles down the sink and he was so enraged he started to strangle her. i heard her screaming,got him off her and called the police. they took him away and obviously got divorced it marked me for life.
i've embarassed myself plenty over the years but never quite to that degree. still - the shame i still hold with my own antics comes to haunt me from time to time.
over the past two weeks i've done pretty well, and this past weekend i only had one drink when we celebrated my husband's birthday. i have not drank since. i'm still making tea and chilling it. and i admit to eating a few more inappropriate things like icecream to not drink. but i have no alcohol in the house and won't be buying it anytime too soon. we have friends coming in from Italy in a few weeks, and we'll have them over for dinner - but i plan on maintaining moderation.
we're all in this together. this is such a motivational thread - thank you Julie for everything!11 -
Although I don't drink a lot quantity-wise, I do have a drink daily and am convinced that is what is putting weight back on. So I'm going off except for special night on the weekend. Hopefully posting this will help my determination. Thanks in advance!7
-
@JulieAL1969 - awesome list and thanks for sharing. I especially liked the part where she said to eat sugar, LOL!
You know it! Remember we were talking a bout having a sugar cravings when we quit, because alcohol is sugar.1 -
@como_agua What a journey you have been on. I dont know why bad things happen to good people, but I do know you are strong, positive and kindhearted which much be the result of that horrific time in your life.
I listen to Tony Robbins once in awhile, and he had a very abusive mother but he said he is who he is today because of that childhood. I know Tony's not perfect but he did rise above, as you have as well. You've been doing very well moderating - bravo!2 -
Although I don't drink a lot quantity-wise, I do have a drink daily and am convinced that is what is putting weight back on. So I'm going off except for special night on the weekend. Hopefully posting this will help my determination. Thanks in advance!
Alcohol is sugar; the body goes first to digesting that sugar and then it works on the food you've eaten. Also, those hundreds of extra calories you drink doesn't help. Good for you for setting some firm goals. Xo1 -
So I was thinking about my buddy and I was thinking about the lies of drinking. I guess if you spend a lot more time under the influence the lies can get bigger and easier to believe.
When I was drinking mostly daily I always knew it was a problem. That was never my lie. My biggest lie was that one more day wouldn't really matter. It wasn't an insignificant lie though. That lie was perpetual until I finally forced a break and a set of moderation rules. It makes sense as this lie correlates to the delays starting my weight loss efforts too.
Remember that book title several have mentioned is "Alcohol Lied to Me."
Now that you're moderating, do you feel calmer and more patient. I've noticed that result of abstaining for many days in a row makes me deal with problems a little bit better.
What is hard for you is you care for this person and it's really up to him to decide his path in life. I once listened to a sermon on youtube. The pastor said no matter what though you never give up on someone else. I can see that you won't.1
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions