What nobody tells you about losing weight
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Most of my friends grew tired of the healthy/energized/happy me. They grew tired of me wanting to share my progress (not in a boasting manner, in a “look what my body can do now!” or “look at how hard I’ve worked” manner). They stopped talking to me and made excuses to not hang out because I didn’t want to just binge drink anymore or lay around and gossip. I have too much energy for their lifestyle.
But a few friends that truly care about my health and the longevity of my life stayed close by and keep motivating me.
When you change your lifestyle, you find out who has really loved you.
Most of my close friends were genuinely happy for me and they are still around and still supporting me and very understanding. A few friends never said a word about anything I was doing and when you lose over 100 pounds, you know they notice. I didn't take that personally, but still odd. After hearing peoples stories of losing friends, I am very grateful that for the most part I still have the same core friends. One of my friends would text me every Monday to see how my weigh in went, I would have a text on my phone after most sessions with my trainer...it was nice to have the support.
This part! I can relate soooooooooo much! How you gonna act like you didn't notice a 100lbs loss?! I call them haters... Lol5 -
dhiammarath wrote: »That you'll feel great when you hit the NSVs and the scale changes. That you'll feel awesome, say, rocking the leather jacket you worked hard to wear again.
But then later -- and it could be days or hours -- you'll catch sight of yourself in the reflection of a window or caught in the mirror and see the old you. Not see the progress, but what's left -- or what your brain thinks you have left -- and scold yourself, "How can I revel in success when I have SO FAR STILL TO GO."
I fight the strange elasticity in which I view myself, where I feel like I am different sizes depending on when I look in the mirror or see myself. Somedays, I feel great, like I can CONQUER THE WORLD. Other days I feel like a lump of gross and I ask myself if my pants fit because they actually fit or if they fit because my bum has stretched them out and so, therefore, the're not their real size (seriously, my mind can do some freakin' gymnastics in ways to make me feel awful). Most days I'm in the middle, where I acknowledge I still have work to do, but still feel pretty proud of the work I've done.
This hits home! I couldn't've said it better myself! The mind is something else eh!
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bkennedy1981 wrote: »-How you can look in the mirror and not see that you're not obese anymore.
This is so true.
You've hit the nail square on the head. You can look right through yourself. I could brush my teeth and put on my makeup without ever looking at myself. That's why Before and After photos don't work for me. I can look at a photo plastered on my fridge and not even see it every single day. It's a total blur, that's my mind with the dieting mute button pressed.
Oh! I believe that to be a skill I've honed for years! Looking through myself. I don't think I've actively looked in a mirror or reflection for the past 10 years.10 -
Sabotage. Self-induced and from others. Could be your mate or coworkers, relatives, friends and foes. When there's a major weight releasing it can really give other people a big pinch.
If your wife or husband is telling you that you look sick, scrawny or pale that's a mind warp. They could be scared that you're going to run off with someone else. Not only are you taking care of your wellbeing but you may have to reassure someone you're not going to kick them to the curb. It can all be exhausting and many just give up and throw the towel in.
Don't. No one has to live in your body.
Don't be scared be prepared for the saboteurs that will come out of the woodwork. If you've suffered the slings and arrows of bullies when you were heavy...they'll come right back at you when you're not. Get ready.
People are divisive. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. Even those closest to you may want you to eat it all back. They have their reasons and mostly it's to justify keeping everything at the status quo. But you don't want to go out like that.
Hails Bells, let it give them a big pinch. Let nothing deter you. Overcoming self-sabotage is hard but get ready.
Don't wait until the weight is gone before you start walking into the room with your lion tamer's confidence. Not driven by the super ego but just loving and caring about yourself so when they come at you - you refuse to throw the towel in. You're not going out like that.
Well said!
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CarvedTones wrote: »I didn't know how hard it would be not to grab some people by the collar and tell them they just don't get how much better they would feel if they would quit whining about how hard it is and just do it anyway. It's frustrating to be be unable to get through to some people close to you. It comes off as bragging or the zeal of the newly converted (there is some truth to that latter part) or worse yet as demeaning. I try to say I feel so much better and I want you to feel this good also but what they hear is that I now think less of them from my new perspective.
It would not be effective, just as it wouldn’t have been on any of us fortunate folks posting in success stories the first 50 times we resolved to lose and failed. I believe nothing works until food finally begins to fail as a comfort, a fun pastime, or even a friend. Many people don’t truly believe being healthier would be better than what they get from food or they’d do it the first time. For me food was such an effective and immediate stress reliever, I had to be pretty miserable to give that up. Hope I never forget that misery, it keeps me on track!26 -
Ghostofachance wrote: »whitej1234 wrote: »How it will be a problem to find a sweet thing that tastes good. And I mean I have a major sweet tooth, and I crave sweet stuff now too. But when I allow myself a bite of the sweet stuff I can't resists, it tastes so bad I actually can't take another bite of it. Now I am stuck with not being able to eat sweet stuff and craving how they used to taste at the same time.
I agree with you - things like cakes, pies and candy are usually too sweet for me these days. I find a little dried fruit, like an apricot or a few cherries, satisfies my sweet tooth when I'm really craving something sweet.
I agree! I eat some low sugar clif bars and they taste like chocolate bars to me now. I NEVER use actual sugar anymore. Dried fruits with no added sugar are super sweet to me now!
I just looked up Nature's Best dried apricots - 12g of sugar per serving. SUgar is sugar; there isn't a better or worse kind. I am not saying you shouldn't eat it; I eat a lot of it. But don't kid yourself about being on a low sugar diet if you eat a lot of dried fruit.14 -
CarvedTones wrote: »I love fruit but I have not lost my taste for other sweets. I have just learned to exercise more control; fun size candy bars, eating one treat even though there ae two in a package, etc.
I am like you, if anything I think my sweet tooth has gotten worse for some reason. Before the weight loss, I was the one who would scrape a lot of the frosting off cakes and cupcakes...now I want the stupid roses
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Somehow I thought it if managed to lose weight and maintain my new weight I wouldn't have to deal with cravings as much or they wouldn't be as intense. But nope I just have new and better tactics of managing them and I know since I have beaten cravings before I have a lot more will power.
However discovering my new form of crack aka Base Culture maple almond butter, the first couple of weeks were pretty rough. Fortunately it isn't cheap, so grocery bill is a nice motivator to not eat it all the time.
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CarvedTones wrote: »Ghostofachance wrote: »whitej1234 wrote: »How it will be a problem to find a sweet thing that tastes good. And I mean I have a major sweet tooth, and I crave sweet stuff now too. But when I allow myself a bite of the sweet stuff I can't resists, it tastes so bad I actually can't take another bite of it. Now I am stuck with not being able to eat sweet stuff and craving how they used to taste at the same time.
I agree with you - things like cakes, pies and candy are usually too sweet for me these days. I find a little dried fruit, like an apricot or a few cherries, satisfies my sweet tooth when I'm really craving something sweet.
I agree! I eat some low sugar clif bars and they taste like chocolate bars to me now. I NEVER use actual sugar anymore. Dried fruits with no added sugar are super sweet to me now!
I just looked up Nature's Best dried apricots - 12g of sugar per serving. SUgar is sugar; there isn't a better or worse kind. I am not saying you shouldn't eat it; I eat a lot of it. But don't kid yourself about being on a low sugar diet if you eat a lot of dried fruit.
Didn't mean to imply that I was on a low carb/sugar diet or I would eat an entire serving of dried apricots, just that I generally can't eat processed sweets like candy or cakes because they taste too sweet for my palate. When I crave something sweet, I may eat 1 or 2 dried apricots to curb the craving - only 2-4 grams of sugar as opposed to 12g in a 6 apricot serving.20 -
Body image whiplash. I can look in the mirror one moment and see the progress I am making, notice I am in fact looking slimmer I think to myself "Oh Yeah! Lookin good girl!". Then the VERY next minute, look at a different angle and think " Ew, still chubby". Fitting room mirrors are not helpful to this situation of course.
That you notice that little everyday things get easier. I was shooting a few weeks ago and noticed my accuracy was getting better. It was partially due to practice, but a big portion was because my arms weren't getting fatigued as fast. It was easier to hold proper form.
I get really restless if I haven't worked out in a while. I have so much more energy and I now feel the need to burn it off, especially if I have sat too long. So at my desk job that translates to way more fidgeting then ever before, lol. My legs might vibrate me right out of my chair.
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I thought by the time I got 3 months into maintenance, I would be pretty relaxed about how I eat. tracking, but relaxed. I am paranoid about it. I just dropped another pound or so on a knee jerk reaction to what was largely water weight after a splurge.14
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No one told me how much more aware of the negative impact of excess weight on daily life I'd be. In my own life, and in other's lives. Not in a judgey-better-than-you way, but in kind of a sad, "I wish you would have this revelation too" sort of way; the way you see someone doing something self-destructive and know you can't say anything and know there's avoidable tragedy going on. It's actually heart-breaking.
So much this with my husband, who is T2D and more than 100 pounds overweight. Every time I watch him overeat, I feel this way. And scared, because with his Type A personality, family history, T2D, and high stress career, he is a waliking heartattack waiting to happen. I'm scared to lose him, but he is not ready to do anything about his weight.
You know I told my wife that I was going on a weight loss journey and I needed a buddy and would she go along with me and we'd keep each other motivated until we reached our goals together. She went along and lost 35 lbs and I lost 37. Talk to him. Tell him your concerns and ask if he would journey with you. The first day is the hardest and it gets easier each day after.
When I started my weight loss at 220lb, in August 2017, my husband had agreed not to sabotage me, but wasn't prepared to do it with me. Two months later, when I had lost 30lb, he decided he would start. A month after that, he was down almost 20 lb, and I was down a little over 40, and he took me to dinner and thanked me for saving our marriage. He said he felt like starting to be healthier was fixing the other stressors in our lives, and that he had spent that summer feeling like we were on the verge of losing each other, but all that was better. Now I am down 72lb, he is down 47, and we are still finding ways to grow together (as we shrink). Just try to be honest with him, and hopefully he will decide to come along on his own, once he sees the benefits that YOU are reaping.54 -
Ive actually got shorter. Was 6ft1 now 5ft11. After1.5yrs of working out. Going from 312lbs to 180lbs (132lbs lost). Anyone with same problem? Deadlifts the culprit? Any solutions?5
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You have lost weight and that includes the fat pads from your feet and scalp.afeezlalji2016 wrote: »Ive actually got shorter. Was 6ft1 now 5ft11. After1.5yrs of working out. Going from 312lbs to 180lbs (132lbs lost). Anyone with same problem? Deadlifts the culprit? Any solutions?
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Skinny me is having a harder time finding things that fit properly than fat me did. A lot of it is proportions slightly out of whack. But I was in a Target a few days back that had probably 50 belts each that were 32-36, 36-40 and 40-44 plus a few larger ones. They didn't have a single belt for 30". I even checked the boys' section and the XXL there was too small. I don't want to buy a new belt, then have to make a new hole and have all that excess. Ideally, I would like a 28 to 32 so I am in the middle and it looks nice. This seemed odd to me. I see lots of other grown men who look like they have a 30" or smaller waist. I finally found one that is stretchy and if I don't stretch it at all it looks okay.5
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1PoisonIvy wrote: »
You have lost weight and that includes the fat pads from your feet and scalp.afeezlalji2016 wrote: »Ive actually got shorter. Was 6ft1 now 5ft11. After1.5yrs of working out. Going from 312lbs to 180lbs (132lbs lost). Anyone with same problem? Deadlifts the culprit? Any solutions?
Wait, does that mean I am actually shorter than 4'11 and 7/8ths of an inch tall?18 -
@Jobar001. I can still look right through myself in the mirror. There are so few that will actually ask you anything about your hard work, Jobar. People will act as if they don't know you or don't notice anything. That's fine. What we see in others is mostly a reflection of ourselves. When someone is hypercritical of us just know they're seeing something in us they can't come to grips with in themselves. They have too much fear to admit it. If they only took the opportunity to get to know any of us, we would find the common ground and actually love the smithereens right out of one another. We can't let anyone sabotage all of our hard work.11
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How much harder I have to work out to burn the same number of calories so that I can have my treats. Yes, a lot of my workouts are because I want to eat something that would blow my deficit if I didn't. Now that I'm lighter, I have to run faster and farther.... Dangit!!! Now it takes me 45 minutes to get my ice cream instead of 30.36
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This is a weird thing I've noticed. A few years ago, I was in a car accident and during recovery I was given oxycodone. I remember I would take one and after about thirty minutes I'd be sitting on the couch or lying in bed and all the sudden I would just feel great! As if I had been sitting in pain and I physically realized the exact moment that it stopped.
Well about two months ago, after I had lost 17lbs. I was sitting at work and I just felt, amazing! And it felt the exact same way as it did back then. I'm now down 33lbs. and it happens on a daily basis. Its as if I was in pain and never realized it, and my body just goes, hey man...i'm feeling good! Like, stupid good!49 -
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CarvedTones wrote: »Skinny me is having a harder time finding things that fit properly than fat me did. A lot of it is proportions slightly out of whack. But I was in a Target a few days back that had probably 50 belts each that were 32-36, 36-40 and 40-44 plus a few larger ones. They didn't have a single belt for 30". I even checked the boys' section and the XXL there was too small. I don't want to buy a new belt, then have to make a new hole and have all that excess. Ideally, I would like a 28 to 32 so I am in the middle and it looks nice. This seemed odd to me. I see lots of other grown men who look like they have a 30" or smaller waist. I finally found one that is stretchy and if I don't stretch it at all it looks okay.
You can buy a belt that you cut to length, in the part that bites into the buckle. The end where the holes usually are has a built in backing for the mechanism. I have been cutting the length off as i go. You can shrink it down to the insert if you wanted to.0 -
How much harder I have to work out to burn the same number of calories so that I can have my treats. Yes, a lot of my workouts are because I want to eat something that would blow my deficit if I didn't. Now that I'm lighter, I have to run faster and farther.... Dangit!!! Now it takes me 45 minutes to get my ice cream instead of 30.
This is the worst. I can walk 12 miles and only burn 300 calories
so to get an awesome burn I have to exercise for HOURS a day. Only burn ~180 per hour biking. It was much nicer when I burned 450 per hour, lol. 14 -
Noreenmarie1234 wrote: »How much harder I have to work out to burn the same number of calories so that I can have my treats. Yes, a lot of my workouts are because I want to eat something that would blow my deficit if I didn't. Now that I'm lighter, I have to run faster and farther.... Dangit!!! Now it takes me 45 minutes to get my ice cream instead of 30.
This is the worst. I can walk 12 miles and only burn 300 calories so to get an awesome burn I have to exercise for HOURS a day. Only burn ~180 per hour biking. It was much nicer when I burned 450 per hour, lol.
Are you sure about that low burn number? 12 miles would take me 3 hours. I probably burn 200 just being awake for 3 hours. Or maybe you mean awake BMR + 300. Still seems really low.4 -
CarvedTones wrote: »Noreenmarie1234 wrote: »How much harder I have to work out to burn the same number of calories so that I can have my treats. Yes, a lot of my workouts are because I want to eat something that would blow my deficit if I didn't. Now that I'm lighter, I have to run faster and farther.... Dangit!!! Now it takes me 45 minutes to get my ice cream instead of 30.
This is the worst. I can walk 12 miles and only burn 300 calories so to get an awesome burn I have to exercise for HOURS a day. Only burn ~180 per hour biking. It was much nicer when I burned 450 per hour, lol.
Are you sure about that low burn number? 12 miles would take me 3 hours. I probably burn 200 just being awake for 3 hours. Or maybe you mean awake BMR + 300. Still seems really low.
I mean extra from the exercise alone not counting BMR. I am pretty sure because it is my apple watch and it has been pretty accurate although it does give me very low estimates for exercise. It always gives me my exercise burn and then burn - calories burnt just being alive.2 -
That on a 'feeling fat' day you can look in the mirror and be absolutely convinced that you have ballooned overnight, whilst simultaneously fitting into clothes you couldn't get over your hips four weeks ago.31
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Yes! There are times when my stomach still looks really large to me and I have to remind myself that I’m down 2 pant sizes and those are getting looser.lizzy_satellite wrote: »That on a 'feeling fat' day you can look in the mirror and be absolutely convinced that you have ballooned overnight, whilst simultaneously fitting into clothes you couldn't get over your hips four weeks ago.
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Basic round number is that unless you are very thin you burn apx 100 cals per mile no matter your speed.
As you lose weight you can keep the burn up by using more arms or lifting knees a bit higher4 -
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That it can bring out a (playful) vengeful streak in you. As a Brit flying the flag in an Outlet Calvin Klein store in Florida we were joking with the assistant about how Britain was better than Florida. I saw an awesome Merino or merino type wool jumper for $30 and asked if they had it im my size, his answer "Sir, we don't have a changing room in your size", I high fived him, fair play - but next year I want to go back and see if he still works there and if he put a jumper side for me...19
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Noreenmarie1234 wrote: »
Yup. @140 lb and at the top of ‘normal’ BMI I burn <50 cals per mile. Don’t know who that ‘100’ cals a mile is for, 6’4 jacked body builders or morbidly obese dieters starting out on a weight loss program?8
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