What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?

1246722

Replies

  • saragd012
    saragd012 Posts: 706 Member
    Generally when I lost interest in someone it was because I realized that we weren't in the same place in life, and looking for opposite things. Especially when I felt they were moving way too fast for me, like telling me they were "falling for me" after knowing them for a single week. To me, that either meant they were incredibly ready for something serious (and I wasn't) or that they "fall in love" over and over again, either way wasn't going to go well for either of us so I'd end it. Also, playing games was a major turn-off for me. I dated someone for about 2 months who would flip-flop weekly between thinking I was the best thing in the world, or not being sure they wanted to be together. It was exhausting, and I had no interest in convincing anyone of my value. Eventually it came out that they didn't know how to handle an "easy" relationship so they would get bored without the drama and try to create it. No thanks.
  • slessofme
    slessofme Posts: 7,689 Member
    I didn't pursue him but, a guy grew a goatee before we met just to show that he had the same color hair (he shaved his head). I can't do anything beyond a strictly platonic friendship with a guy that looks like he can be my brother.
  • iMago
    iMago Posts: 8,714 Member
    wouldn't take snapchat filter selfies for me with her tongue sticking out
  • JaydedMiss
    JaydedMiss Posts: 4,288 Member
    wouldn't take snapchat filter selfies for me with her tongue sticking out

    oh god....i feel bad but theres a very femenine guy i know who spams me with girly filtered selfies....rainbows and cat ears and *kitten*.... Im not judging on purpose but i cant help but just cringe. Then he tries to make me do the same and im over here like oh hell no...
  • JaydedMiss
    JaydedMiss Posts: 4,288 Member
    JaydedMiss wrote: »
    wouldn't take snapchat filter selfies for me with her tongue sticking out

    oh god....i feel bad but theres a very femenine guy i know who spams me with girly filtered selfies....rainbows and cat ears and *kitten*.... Im not judging on purpose but i cant help but just cringe. Then he tries to make me do the same and im over here like oh hell no...

    damn sorry, just tell me u didn't want it anymore

    LOL i did tell him and hes like "oh sht that makes sense..." He goes after grungy tattood rocker hands on hard working type girls and wonders why none of them are ever into him for very long when he spams them with rainbow cutesy selfies and stuff
  • IHaveMyActTogether
    IHaveMyActTogether Posts: 945 Member
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    I realized they were too good for me.

    I realized I had no chance with them.

    I realized they were engaged.


    Take your pick...


    Is that really a thing? Can you explain that?

    In reality, or in my own perception?

    People who think highly of themselves will never understand it.
    People who don't know exactly what I mean.

    It kind of goes back to the 8-10 thread and the out of your league thread.

    I just don't get it. If you think they are so great, why wouldn't you be happy you snagged them?

    Just explain one situation you had where you lost interest because you thought they were too good for you. To me, that's like winning the lottery and not being happy about it.

    Why chase something you don't believe you can catch?

    Maybe it's a wording issue - it's not so much that I lost interest in them, it's that I didn't think I could win the chase. So I gave up on what I thought to be a losing battle.


    That's a reasonable position. I guess I'm just dealing with my own issues, and your post got to me. Thank you for sharing your perspective. It actually helped me gain a new perspective with things going on in my life.
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,609 Member
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    I realized they were too good for me.

    I realized I had no chance with them.

    I realized they were engaged.


    Take your pick...


    Is that really a thing? Can you explain that?

    In reality, or in my own perception?

    People who think highly of themselves will never understand it.
    People who don't know exactly what I mean.

    It kind of goes back to the 8-10 thread and the out of your league thread.

    I just don't get it. If you think they are so great, why wouldn't you be happy you snagged them?

    Just explain one situation you had where you lost interest because you thought they were too good for you. To me, that's like winning the lottery and not being happy about it.

    Why chase something you don't believe you can catch?

    Maybe it's a wording issue - it's not so much that I lost interest in them, it's that I didn't think I could win the chase. So I gave up on what I thought to be a losing battle.


    That's a reasonable position. I guess I'm just dealing with my own issues, and your post got to me. Thank you for sharing your perspective. It actually helped me gain a new perspective with things going on in my life.

    No problem. I'm happy to talk about it further, so if you want any nuanced details, just ask.
  • epr3996
    epr3996 Posts: 2,719 Member
    Two things first I found out I was about 8th on the list to get back to and secondly I found out they smoked! PHEW!
  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,885 Member
    JaydedMiss wrote: »
    JaydedMiss wrote: »
    wouldn't take snapchat filter selfies for me with her tongue sticking out

    oh god....i feel bad but theres a very femenine guy i know who spams me with girly filtered selfies....rainbows and cat ears and *kitten*.... Im not judging on purpose but i cant help but just cringe. Then he tries to make me do the same and im over here like oh hell no...

    damn sorry, just tell me u didn't want it anymore

    LOL i did tell him and hes like "oh sht that makes sense..." He goes after grungy tattood rocker hands on hard working type girls and wonders why none of them are ever into him for very long when he spams them with rainbow cutesy selfies and stuff

    :D:D
  • jillstreett
    jillstreett Posts: 69 Member
    He talked a big game about wanting a real relationship and was a genuinely nice and gentle guy but, 6-7 weeks later, still had not taken me on a real date, still didn't know anything about me (we are talking almost 2 months of "hanging out" and he still didn't know what I went to college for or how many siblings I had or what I did for work.) A couple other things that just made me notice he wasn't the one. I just didn't have the butterflies and when I was traveling one weekend, that's when I realized it wouldn't work because I wasn't excited to share my fun weekend with him. I want someone to share everything with and he wasn't it, and that's okay, but still hate breaking it off with someone who finally showed that there are nice guys out there :(

    You deserve someone who is going to pursue you and where you don't have to lead the relationship. The first problem was accepting "hanging out," in the first place. All the benefits of a girlfriend without any of the work on his part.

    If he's only wants to text and never calls, just cut off his texts with, "sorry, I'm busy, I'll call you when I get home." Then call him when you get home.

    I did see a red flag on your part, not that you want my advice, but if you want it, it's in bold.

    Sharing EVERYTHING with your man is a real quick way to make him feel pressured and smothered, and set yourself up for being abused/manipulated/taken for granted.

    Make sure you are taking the time necessary to cultivate your happiness in other arenas of your life besides your relationship.

    Been single for 5 years because I refuse to settle and if after the first date he's not for me then it is kindly said. I don't mean share everything as dramatic as that sounds. No he will not know when I use the bathroom and no I will not check in every hour when I'm out with friends, I just meant that if he was interested in me and I was interested in him then it would be fun to share the fun things we did. I am the exact opposite of a pressure filled, smothering woman. Please, go have guys night and go have fun! If you're at work, then you're at work, don't worry about texting/ calling, you're working. But I would like to know how your day was and it would be nice to have you ask about mine. That's what I meant when I meant share everything, as in an open book if the topic calls for an open book. As for the hanging out part, quick assumption on your part that he was reaping "benefits" from it. I see your point though as a great whole and yes, that type of getting to know you is not for me, I would rather formally date. :)
  • jillstreett
    jillstreett Posts: 69 Member
    funjen1972 wrote: »
    Messenging or texting without conversations and dating. You want to flirt and get an ego boost by chatting with me, but can't man-up and pick up the phone or just meet for a beer. Next.....

    girl preach!!!
  • Torxa
    Torxa Posts: 61 Member
    Being rude to service professionals such as wait staff is a deal breaker for me. Reckless driving and road rage. Lying about their finances.
  • peachykey
    peachykey Posts: 8 Member
    I lose interest in someone when we aren’t in the same page. I generally start crushing and pursuing when I view that someone as a person I can have a long term and serious relationship. I hate back and fourth games. So technically, someone who is childish. I also lose interest in people who smoke whether it’s marijuana or cigarettes. It’s really just not my thing. :/
    Anyone else?
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,015 Member
    I found out she did crossfit.
  • IHaveMyActTogether
    IHaveMyActTogether Posts: 945 Member
    He talked a big game about wanting a real relationship and was a genuinely nice and gentle guy but, 6-7 weeks later, still had not taken me on a real date, still didn't know anything about me (we are talking almost 2 months of "hanging out" and he still didn't know what I went to college for or how many siblings I had or what I did for work.) A couple other things that just made me notice he wasn't the one. I just didn't have the butterflies and when I was traveling one weekend, that's when I realized it wouldn't work because I wasn't excited to share my fun weekend with him. I want someone to share everything with and he wasn't it, and that's okay, but still hate breaking it off with someone who finally showed that there are nice guys out there :(

    You deserve someone who is going to pursue you and where you don't have to lead the relationship. The first problem was accepting "hanging out," in the first place. All the benefits of a girlfriend without any of the work on his part.

    If he's only wants to text and never calls, just cut off his texts with, "sorry, I'm busy, I'll call you when I get home." Then call him when you get home.

    I did see a red flag on your part, not that you want my advice, but if you want it, it's in bold.

    Sharing EVERYTHING with your man is a real quick way to make him feel pressured and smothered, and set yourself up for being abused/manipulated/taken for granted.

    Make sure you are taking the time necessary to cultivate your happiness in other arenas of your life besides your relationship.

    Been single for 5 years because I refuse to settle and if after the first date he's not for me then it is kindly said. I don't mean share everything as dramatic as that sounds. No he will not know when I use the bathroom and no I will not check in every hour when I'm out with friends, I just meant that if he was interested in me and I was interested in him then it would be fun to share the fun things we did. I am the exact opposite of a pressure filled, smothering woman. Please, go have guys night and go have fun! If you're at work, then you're at work, don't worry about texting/ calling, you're working. But I would like to know how your day was and it would be nice to have you ask about mine. That's what I meant when I meant share everything, as in an open book if the topic calls for an open book. As for the hanging out part, quick assumption on your part that he was reaping "benefits" from it. I see your point though as a great whole and yes, that type of getting to know you is not for me, I would rather formally date. :)

    Good for you. And he was definitely reaping benefits from you. Your energy and warmth and feminine presence is a thing of value. It's not all about sex. Don't be "the girlfriend," if he's not being "the boyfriend," kwim? Good for you for letting that go. Don't be surprised if he pops back up later. Make sure if he does, that you make it harder for him next time.
  • gotime326
    gotime326 Posts: 49 Member
    He started chasing ME. I love the chase....
  • gotime326
    gotime326 Posts: 49 Member
    SwannySez wrote: »
    She became a Beachbody coach.

    BOOM lol!
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,839 Member
    He told me that I shouldn't be upset that my dog died because she was "just a pet." I didn't speak to that guy for months afterwards.

    What a jerk