The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
Replies
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full disclosure, not AF. am a friend of Lois W. most of my friend are friends of Bill and Bob4
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Thanks, y’all! @Orphia, very likely tiredness is a factor. I’m still experiencing waking up in unexplainable panic and not in a regular sleep rhythm. Working out helps. Today I used a Korean sheet mask a friend gave me. First time. That is such a delightful dose of self-care that I ordered 10 more from Amazon.
I’m helping my mom navigate getting out of a horrible business partnership (guided by a good attorney) and it’s so damn stressful and I’m tired of having my new hobby be “not drinking”. Don’t mind me. Just venting in a safe place. Good news is I’m not even inclined to try to make things better with that alcohol crap.8 -
Thanks, y’all! @Orphia, very likely tiredness is a factor. I’m still experiencing waking up in unexplainable panic and not in a regular sleep rhythm. Working out helps. Today I used a Korean sheet mask a friend gave me. First time. That is such a delightful dose of self-care that I ordered 10 more from Amazon.
I’m helping my mom navigate getting out of a horrible business partnership (guided by a good attorney) and it’s so damn stressful and I’m tired of having my new hobby be “not drinking”. Don’t mind me. Just venting in a safe place. Good news is I’m not even inclined to try to make things better with that alcohol crap.
Best of luck with your mom and the lawyer. Sometimes, it feels like everyone leans on you and they probably do. Hence, why some of us used to turn to alcohol to escape.
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I Googled too. Who’s Bob?0
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Hi! Thanks for starting this thread. I'm on ... day #14... had to check that because honestly, I'm not sure I'm ready to give up alcohol, but I'm (was) certain that something had to change. Prior to the event that led to day #14, I had 3 weeks-ish under my belt. I've gone to a few meetings and I'm not sure they're for me, but I am happier now that I don't drink daily. My habit was typically one good beer per night while making dinner, but really GOING BIG at least once a week.... but then once a week turned into twice a week, and usually un-planned and whoops! Blackouts and hangovers! Totally unsafe. I stayed there for about a year before realizing I was out of control. Still... I like not drinking every day, and I like to having the control, energy, and focus for other things, but I sure miss those tasty IPA's and the other fancy craft beers. Maybe someday I can have them again, but not today. Cyber high-five to all those in this group addressing their issues with alcohol!10
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Welcome @joha5603! You will find support and encouragement here. You might like Craig Beck videos on youtube. He's very no nonsense. A lot of us watch them.
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OK I know who Bill W is. Who are Lois and Bob?0
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My mother was an alcoholic. She never quit. My husband and I quit drinking entirely in 2014. We used to try a glass of wine with dinner, which would then turn into a bottle (or two). In 2014 he eliminated alcohol from his life and in support of him, I quit too. Don't miss it at all.
For all of you, whether a day sober or 20 years sober, congratulations. It's not how many times you fall, but how many times you get up. Bless you all.11 -
One thing that I’ve noticed after stopping drinking for a long period of time is that my mood is steady and calm. I dont fly off the handle when confronted, I take a step back and think clearly when in a conflict. I just feel calmer overall.
Of course, I have bad days and feel sad sometimes but overall, my mood doesn't have those peaks and valleys anymore. Today, I am at Day 24 AF. I am going to beat my record of 76 days AF back in the winter.
School is back in session and I will go to the gym after work most days or go and get a veggie juice at a juice place in town. I’m so happy I will not be stopping by a bar for a quick glass of wine before going home like I used to.
@joha5603 Welcome to our thread. Congrats on Day 14!
I took a break from alcohol in January and lasted until St. Pat’s alcohol free even through a death in the family. Then I started to dip my toe back into drinking and it took me from March-July to get back to the binge drinking I tried to quell. I didnt drink every night but when I did, I could not stop. I just didnt want to accept that I had to give it up. That’s where I am today. I wish you well on your journey. I look forward to seeing where this journey takes you. Xo7 -
@mbaker566, I didn’t thank you for your reply earlier. You are quite right that maybe these little depressions have been there all along but the alcohol masked them. Good insight.
@Orphia I’ve lurked a little on the self-care challenge and even contributed a time or two a while back. It’s good inspiration. Checking 3 threads and now getting back to logging food is about more than I can handle. Thank goodness I’m (purposely) not on Facebook or I’d never leave my chair!3 -
Julie, I too have a calmer demeanor since giving up alcohol. It makes dealing with nearly everything much easier. Enjoy your new class!3
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Thanks for the info, @mbaker566. I guess I'm still immature despite my age, but the phrase "drunk proctologist" made me giggle.
Wow, that would be an interesting camping trip to observe and would lend itself to lots of "How many ____ does it take to change a lightbulb" jokes. Have fun!2 -
oh it was meant to make people giggle. and has been the subject of many a joke from the speaker podium.
imagine over 150 12 steppers at varying degrees of recovery...plus the day trippers on saturday descending upon an outdoor location that doesn't follow direction. we have had bad wiring in the main hall, noisy dogs, missing speakers, torrential downpours....old timers and young people. friends and family some in their own recovery some not.
it's a hot mess but it's our hot mess. rule 62. don't take yourself so seriously3 -
Day 24 here. I am no good at moderation. It is all too enticing to not indulge sometimes.. then the thought of 'lets keep this party going!" ends up with me being sick. I have started eating keto for the past two months and although I can drink liquor on keto if I overdo it my calorie allotment is blown for the night. It is easier to ignore the thought that I want a drink when I view alcohol under its true light... alcohol just is not fun for me. I used to think it made me have fun and be fun - but it made for more embarrassing moments than I have ever had while sober.9
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Hi all, I'm so glad to have found this discussion. I'll probably lurk a while. I'm a whole 4 days AF. My last drink was on 8/12. I've been trying to moderate my drinking for at least 2 or 3 years with varying degrees of success. I'm thinking this time that quitting is the answer. I love how I feel I struggle a lot because 1. I work part time in a brewery, and 2. my husband is an avid home brewer. It's just too tempting to not have a taste. My issue really isn't overdrinking due to those situations, but it's really hard to just quit, especially if hubby wants me to sample his latest and greatest. I've been reading This Naked Mind and it gives me hope that I can live without drinking, if not right this minute, someday. Right now I'm in the one day at a time phase. 4 days without even a sip is a pretty big accomplishment for me. I dread the weekends. It's so easy to be good during the week, but not having a drink on the weekend...I dunno, I'm just not sure I can. Anyway, just kind of rambling, I'm happy to know you all are here.5
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@iRun_Butterfly Welcome to our group! You will find support here. A lot of us have done Annie Grace's free 30 day AF challenge, Look under the Alcohol Experiment online if you are interested.3
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@iRun_Butterfly welcome and rambling on is fine as you deal with multiple emotions and thoughts keep tumbling out. You will adjust as you go, I drank continuously for about 40 years and had to decide to stop for Health reasons over 10 years ago. One day I couldn’t imagine not drinking and the next day I was AF. I was scared that I couldn’t have another drink for the rest of my life and scared that I would. I am AF and the benefits in health fitness and lifestyle is remarkable.
Good luck and keep posting here as you go7 -
@SomeMorr,a keto diet is actually recommended by one of the people I follow for AF advice,something about keeping blood sugar steady cuz a lot of heavy drinkers are hypoglycemic,supposed to cut down on cravings but I haven't followed it too closely cuz I love my carbs! Today was a tricky one for me,I work in a hair salon and my old bartender came in for highlights,I haven't seen her in years and just seeing her again put all those bad heavy drinking memories out,thank goodness I wasn't the one doing her hair cuz I was just able to leave,get in my car and peel out of the parking lot and make a beeline home! Ugh to go back to drinking would be devastating for me! Doesn't help that I'm off tomorrow and was thinking hmmmm maybe? But who wants to spend a day off hungover in the Last Vegas heat? NOT ME!7
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@SomeMorr,a keto diet is actually recommended by one of the people I follow for AF advice,something about keeping blood sugar steady cuz a lot of heavy drinkers are hypoglycemic,supposed to cut down on cravings but I haven't followed it too closely cuz I love my carbs! Today was a tricky one for me,I work in a hair salon and my old bartender came in for highlights,I haven't seen her in years and just seeing her again put all those bad heavy drinking memories out,thank goodness I wasn't the one doing her hair cuz I was just able to leave,get in my car and peel out of the parking lot and make a beeline home! Ugh to go back to drinking would be devastating for me! Doesn't help that I'm off tomorrow and was thinking hmmmm maybe? But who wants to spend a day off hungover in the Last Vegas heat? NOT ME!
Stay strong in your goals. Plan ahead in case your craving pops up tomorrow. Can you plan something on the lines of self-care, maybe a manicure or hike on a trail or go to the beach. I'm with you! I have had a thought recently about missing alcohol but told myself to stop glamorizing it; then, i remembered the times spent throwing up after a wild night... And having a wicked hangover. I'm sending you a hug; you're doing so well! xo7 -
@RubyRed427 .... thank you. I am a newly single(ish) woman with young children who is finding her footing again. I love my new single life but love it even more without the daily alcohol. I too have found calmer times, fewer mood swings, able to calm down quicker... but I have trouble falling asleep. @iRun_Butterfly ... I think you and I have similar situations. I too dread the weekends sometimes. I am a self-proclaimed "beer girl" so I'm having to readjust to a new identity. The first 4 days were THE HARDEST for me, but now occasionally I forget that I've "laying off the sauce" as I say. Like I said before, I'm not sure if not drinking is a permanent state for me, but something I definitely needed to look at and address. Being out of control, at my age, is dangerous and unattractive, plus, I hate it. And as Robert Plant sang... RAMBLE ON!
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On the Less Alcohol thread I had shared how I poured all my liquor down the drain after deciding not to give it away...I reasoned on the fact that alcohol is a poison & if I firmly believe that how can I in good conscience give someone poison...all well & good! SO, I watched it & smelled it as it went down the drain. It actually felt liberating! Liquor was never my go to anyway, so it wasn't too difficult getting rid of it although I was pouring a bit of $$ down the drain.
YET, I have been hanging on to a bottle of champagne that a client had given me 2 moves ago & had planned to have a champagne breakfast with my girls that I hang with....THEN I decided I would give it back to my client....
AND it still sat in my fridge. I realized the other day that I was having difficulty giving it back. I tried to figure out what was the hold back, cause it wasn't temptation to drink it. I was hanging onto the idea of having my champagne breakfast...one more soiree at the Bachelorette Pad.
It's like a sentimental attachment to the gatherings I used to have at my place, the wine tastings & wine & nibblies & wine & wine & more wine LOL!!! I think THAT is the hard part. It isn't not putting wine to my lips, it's missing the social aspect that went along with that. SO, It's time to start a different social thing without wine. I'm not sure how though. I suppose without wine
LOL
I did give the champagne back to my client when I saw her yesterday, & let her know that I was reneging on the champagne breakfast idea. Anyway, it prompted some conversation around my going AF & she was sincerely interested in watching some Annie Grace videos cause she has her own issues around alcohol. She also wanted to join MFP & I told her about his thread.
How is everyone doing with the social aspect of not drinking? I know weekends are hard at first, but that passes. Just socializing in general when most people drink is a challenge. So, I'm just curious how others are handling it.6 -
I am a self-proclaimed "beer girl"
This prompted the following thoughts on myself:
Since going AF, I can't help noticing a number of my friends who seem to define themselves by their drinking, and are always posting pictures of themselves with a drink.
I also realised something else the other day.
I define myself by not being cliché.
I think that's a big part of what's helped me change to being so healthy and loving creativity again.
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Too Funny!! When I awoke this morn there was a message from a friend who works at the Wine store letting me know that she's been collecting wines for us to sample...For some reason I thought I had told her about going AF, but it would have been in the initial stages of my sobriety & she's used to me stopping & starting. I just think her timing is interesting in view of my recent realization in my above comment.
@Orphia can you expand on your comment about your definition of yourself not being cliche. I think that's an interesting expression but I'm not certain of exactly what you mean. I think I need to look up the word cliche LOL5 -
@Orphia Never mind, I looked up the word cliche!! But you can still expand on it.
I want to express my sympathies to you on the death of your "Tomorrow You" friend
The last time I was on the Less Alcohol thread I had seen your comment about her death, but I was too busy getting my stick out of the hornet's nest & got a little bit self asbsorbed.
It sounds like you are taking care of yourself through this, yet, I know how difficult losing a good friend can be. My BFF died after a year long battle with ovarian cancer a few months ago. So, my heart goes out to you
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I read this on the Alcohol Experiment Website this morning. The words are not mine but I love the message:
I have been AF for 140 days give or take a few. One of the most eye opening and freeing realizations has been that, the "I need a drink" feeling that would hit me every. single. day, at different times and in various circumstances, was really just life or my body trying to communicate something to me like: You need more water, You need to eat a big healthy green salad, Kid # 4 needs a hug, Kid # 2 needs you to have a conversation with her, You need to take a nap, You need to exercise, You need to address that 'to do' list, You and hubby need a night out, you need to stop thinking about yourself and do something kind for someone else. You need to call your mother!
I certainly did not need a shot of poison! That 'I need a drink' feeling is a lie that I had allowed to overshadow every other real need in my life. It was an excuse to not deal with life. Now when 'that' feeling hits, I take a moment and analyze exactly what is going on around me and within me and figure out what I really need. It is definitely NOT "I need a drink!"
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