The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »Too Funny!! When I awoke this morn there was a message from a friend who works at the Wine store letting me know that she's been collecting wines for us to sample...For some reason I thought I had told her about going AF, but it would have been in the initial stages of my sobriety & she's used to me stopping & starting. I just think her timing is interesting in view of my recent realization in my above comment.
@Orphia can you expand on your comment about your definition of yourself not being cliche. I think that's an interesting expression but I'm not certain of exactly what you mean. I think I need to look up the word cliche LOLlorrainequiche59 wrote: »@Orphia Never mind, I looked up the word cliche!! But you can still expand on it.
I want to express my sympathies to you on the death of your "Tomorrow You" friend
The last time I was on the Less Alcohol thread I had seen your comment about her death, but I was too busy getting my stick out of the hornet's nest & got a little bit self asbsorbed.
It sounds like you are taking care of yourself through this, yet, I know how difficult losing a good friend can be. My BFF died after a year long battle with ovarian cancer a few months ago. So, my heart goes out to you
@lorrainequiche59 Thank you so much! So sorry about your BFF.
I'm still thinking through what I mean by not being a cliché but the general idea is that I've always wanted to be original, in my artwork, in my clothing, in my thinking.
Not necessarily "alternative", because that has its own clichés.
I try to think things through.
I don't like following fads or following the herd. I prefer to follow the evidence.
That requires thinking things through, going into detail, and also looking at the bigger picture.
I have a photo of myself drinking champagne a few years before I discovered MFP.
MFP gave me the tools to lose weight, but that picture made me want to lose weight.
I wonder if the people who define themselves by their drinking are concerned about their image deep down, but try to justify their daily drinking by the fact that so many others do it. As if jumping off a bridge is OK because everyone does it.
I kind of rambled on a bit there, sorry!
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Thanks for your kind support, friends. I was reading up on depression and quitting alcohol and saw the intro to a blog that probably expresses what I’m feeing this week.
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blog continued:
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Thanks, @RubyRed427. That helps explain these little wee "depressions" that have come and gone for me in the last 28 (!) days.
I truly love being alcohol free, but just last night, Saturday, I said to my husband at about 7:30, "Wow, we used to not wonder 'What shall we do?' at 7:30 on a Saturday when we were drinking." (He stopped drinking when I did, although his intention is not to remain AF forever because he truly can moderate). He said, "When we were drinking we weren't doing any more than we're doing now." I said, "Yeah, but it at least FELT like we were doing something." Isn't that weird???? I actually felt like drinking was an "activity," even if I was just drinking and vegging in front of the TV. Now, I realize vegging in front of the TV is really boring . . . so it's time to find real things to do because drinking doesn't mask the boringness. Don't know if that makes sense to anyone else.
The good news is, this week weight started to fall off. It's taken a month. I've been eating super clean and not drinking, but it took 3 weeks for the scale to start moving.
Have a great, relaxing Sunday everyone.6 -
@RubyRed427 WOW!!! "It feels like someone took a potato peeler to your soul!!!" Those are some pretty raw emotions expressed in this piece. I can relate on a limited level. I feel SO fortunate to have realized I had a problem with alcohol before I got to this phase. What I really could relate to is the HUGE part alcohol occupied in my life!! It got to the point where every occasion was a "drinking" occasion, even going to the beach & avoiding doing things where alcohol was not able to be a part. What you shared gives me a new appreciation for how difficult it can be for some who have faced those huge losses & the enormous courage to push through some very hard feelings of anger, confusion, sadness & the resulting deep depression.
I see that courage in you & the determination to push through all the difficult feelings!! Thank you for sharing & thank you for your honesty in baring your soul to us 5 -
Thanks, @RubyRed427. That helps explain these little wee "depressions" that have come and gone for me in the last 28 (!) days.
I truly love being alcohol free, but just last night, Saturday, I said to my husband at about 7:30, "Wow, we used to not wonder 'What shall we do?' at 7:30 on a Saturday when we were drinking." (He stopped drinking when I did, although his intention is not to remain AF forever because he truly can moderate). He said, "When we were drinking we weren't doing any more than we're doing now." I said, "Yeah, but it at least FELT like we were doing something." Isn't that weird???? I actually felt like drinking was an "activity," even if I was just drinking and vegging in front of the TV. Now, I realize vegging in front of the TV is really boring . . . so it's time to find real things to do because drinking doesn't mask the boringness. Don't know if that makes sense to anyone else.
The good news is, this week weight started to fall off. It's taken a month. I've been eating super clean and not drinking, but it took 3 weeks for the scale to start moving.
Have a great, relaxing Sunday everyone.
Makes TOTAL sense to me!! "...at least I FELT like I was doing something...I actually felt like drinking was an 'activity'." The only thing that alcohol does is mess with our reality like you said & keeps us from changing what we NEED to change. It keeps us stuck in the muck!!!
YAY on the scale moving!! My quit drinking app says after 4 months most people experience weight loss JUST from stopping drinking, so obviously it's more than just less calories consumed. I'm thinking it may be because alcohol messes with how our body processes stuff on a deeper level than just calories in calories out.2 -
Living sober and happy since January 8, 2013 and happy to be here with you all
Thanks for starting this thread, count me in!!! 5 -
@jeannemarie333, glad you are here! I'm sure you have a lot of wisdom to share with those of us who are new on this journey.1
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@RubyRed427 I got the shivers reading that, the mind works in strange ways and after over 10 years the raw emotions and depressions and a lot of the fears I felt in the beginning are long gone and truthfully forgotten. At my age I have lost good friends in the real world and felt the sorry deep pain you describe and over time that has passed as well. We are resilient and we recover and heal and go on with our lives. The friend you describe though was a two faced friend at best, sometimes jealous of our other friends and relationships, a lot of the time trying to come between us and those we love. We relearn our social graces we find out how to interact on a sober level. So it takes time to get over the loss of the friend that alcohol was, and for me it was from about 15 when I was stealing ounces out of the liquor cabinet to over 60 years old when I stopped. I was alone in my sobriety at first and as you say terrified to never have another drink or terrified to have that next drink that would start the downward journey all over again. Fear of having a stroke from extreme hypertension kept me AF until my body adjusted and the need and thoughts of that drink were passing into a faded memory.
Be strong focus on the positives and enjoy the benefits, you have earned them5 -
quiet here,,Hope everyone had a nice weekend 4
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Hi everyone! Checking in. 165 days sober today. Been trying to quit permanently since 2016 -- this is my longest stretch (4 months, 3 months being the other two longest ones). I'm so much happier without alcohol, so trying to learn/absorb as many tools as possible to make this last. I will not drink with you all today!9
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Today is day 1 of quitting drinking. It just doesn't fit in my life style anymore. I wanna lose 20 pounds and I have never been one to drink because I like the taste. To a new me.11
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Day 1 for me. I've lost weight and gained some back and a contributing factor has been drinking.8
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welcome to all the newcomers, glad you dropped in. This is usually a pretty busy site which seems to be quiet right now.
We are openly expressive sharing both our concerns as well as our victories we go from people who are on day one to posters who are AF for over ten years and everything in the middle.
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Welcome @melissa24 and @xrsize4dad ! I'm only on day 16 AF but loving every minute of it. If you're really struggling with addiction, I think the first week is the hardest. Drop in here as often as you can -- it will likely help! These seem like really good people with a ton of insight and encouragement. Be well, people. 6
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Hi everyone! I am on vacation but wanted to check in and say WELCOME to the new faces! We are a very supportive group and you will find lots of ideas for maintaining your sobriety here.7
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melissa24sue1885 wrote: »Today is day 1 of quitting drinking. It just doesn't fit in my life style anymore. I wanna lose 20 pounds and I have never been one to drink because I like the taste. To a new me.
Best wishes. It’s good to have a substitute drink ready to fill the craving for alcohol you may get. Also, remember cravings only last 6-10 min so keep busy. Check in with us and let us know how you’re doing. Xo7 -
xrsize4dad wrote: »Day 1 for me. I've lost weight and gained some back and a contributing factor has been drinking.
Yep, alcohol is all sugar. I read the body goes to work digesting it first and then the food second. Also, alcohol gives us dopamine kick so sometimes it’s ok if you have a little sweet treat handy to substitute. But that may not help your weight loss goals.4 -
Welcome @melissa24 and @xrsize4dad ! I'm only on day 16 AF but loving every minute of it. If you're really struggling with addiction, I think the first week is the hardest. Drop in here as often as you can -- it will likely help! These seem like really good people with a ton of insight and encouragement. Be well, people.
I think around day 10, I started to feel much better. I enjoy reading your posts. Xo3 -
Hi everyone! Checking in. 165 days sober today. Been trying to quit permanently since 2016 -- this is my longest stretch (4 months, 3 months being the other two longest ones). I'm so much happier without alcohol, so trying to learn/absorb as many tools as possible to make this last. I will not drink with you all today!
I smiled at your last sentence! Congrats on the long stretch. Xo3 -
Great posts. Very encouraging!! My folk festival is now history!! I spent the weekend with my 10 yr-old grandson enjoying the very chillaxed atmosphere of Summerfolk! My daughter was able to hang with us off & on between her volunteer duties too. Nothing terribly exciting happened, I just enjoyed hanging wherever we hung! Lots of music in lots of locales which was enjoyable...I really love people-watching...just seeing all the families having fun & the kids being free to be kids. I saw various people snoozing on the grass & was envious that anyone could relax enough to fall asleep around a ton of people. For me it is a definite trust issue.
For some reason I was expecting to see more drunken behavior, but only saw 2 twenty somethings who were obviously inebriated mid-afternoon on one day....Of course, I stayed clear of the beer tent after hours and we only stayed late one night to watch some bands at the main stage. For the most part it is a family-friendly event with lots of security to prevent stupidity.
@deceived1 well done!! I won't drink with YOU today either!! Too funny! Welcome to our little growing group of people who are also trying to be happier without alcohol.
So glad to see all the new ones embracing their sobriety whether it is the beginning of your journey or well into your new lifestyle...I LOVE being sober. For me it has been 80 days & 17 hours according to my quit drinking app. I'm not actually counting the days but look at the app now & then just to see. And like many others here have tried many times to break free or at least stopped enough times to realize 'moderation' is not my thing!! So hoping the best for us all & thank y'all for being such great people!!! 5 -
Kinda quiet on here. Hope everyone's doing well!!
I was really angry today!! Just spittin' mad. Just cause!! Then I bawled! I wonder if some of the anger I stuffed down is making it's way back up!! Any thoughts, or insights on that? Wondering if anyone is having anything similar? OR has had? Please share 3 -
Just cuz not cause!! The perfectionist in me
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »Kinda quiet on here. Hope everyone's doing well!!
I was really angry today!! Just spittin' mad. Just cause!! Then I bawled! I wonder if some of the anger I stuffed down is making it's way back up!! Any thoughts, or insights on that? Wondering if anyone is having anything similar? OR has had? Please share
I felt the same way today! Irritable,kinda sad,kinda anxious and the thought of getting crunk crossed my mind! I was trying to convince myself that it's not even worth it to be sober if I gotta feel this crappy,grrr,hopefully it's just PMS and tomorrow is better 3 -
@lorrainequiche59, I don’t have any answers but have been experiencing little unexplained bouts of depression, and I’ve heard depression described as anger turned inward. I may be on the wrong track but I’ve been chalking it up to my body and brain adjusting to this brave new AF world and just breathing through it rather than resisting it. Hope tomorrow is more pleasant for you.4
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I'm sorry to hear some of you are feeling sad, depressed, and angry. It does get better. I've been sober for quite a long time now, and it has actually helped my mood tremendously in the long run. I'm very calm and easy going. It takes a lot to make me angry now or to make me feel depressed. I'm a kind of happy that I never was when I drank. I feel everything genuinely, and I have to handle my problems instead of trying to drink them away.
I guess it's natural to be feeling this way though when you're giving something up that your body and mind has been used to. For those of you that truly want to quit, hang in there! It is worth it. I don't know anyone that has regretted giving up drinking. 4 -
Thanks @PaperDoll,I'm sure it's just part of the process,my problem is that I never really get past the "blah" I freak out cuz I feel uncomfortable and drunk again to do called feel better but I know I gotta stick with it,hope everyone has a great day! 6
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@donimfp I absolutely agree with the description of depression being anger turned inward...I also learned through past therapy that anger is a secondary emotion layered over helplessness, hurt or frustration...SO, when I'm mad as a hornet at "seemingly nothing," I ask myself what I'm feeling helpless, hurt or frustrated about!! So, yesterday on the way to work I used my recorder on my phone to vent to myself & just pour out a bunch of crap that's been building & this morn I wrote out 6 pages in my journal. The stuff that poured out of me was a lot of repressed anger of injustice from the past, feelings of abandonment, past disappoinments & on & on & on!!! Stuff that I've stuffed with alcohol AND food!!
SO, now that I'm NOT using alcohol & working (not always 100% successfully, but getting there) at not using food, the feelings are emerging. When I got home from work yesterday, I thought if I were drinking still, I'd be drinking right then & there because that is how I used to cope with my anger, or should I say NOT cope...and guess what?? Now I get to cope with it ALL, past & present in sobriety...YAY!! I seriously mean YAY!
At one point my anger used to scare me & I still initially can feel that way cause I can get REALLY angry, just cuz. BUT once I begin to ask myself the questions, I know the answers will be revealed. So, now I try to view my anger as a block to where I'm going, so if I can work through the messy & scary feelings of anger, I WILL remove that block to get to where I want to be in my life.
I can get pretty wordy in my comments here, but it is truly my way of working it all out...there is something about writing that is cathartic for me & helps me to figure my stuff out. Especially in this forum because I feel free to spill it. So thank you to all who read through my rants & give me feedback...or not...it doesn't really matter to me cause this is my process & hopefully someone can relate. 7 -
ME AGAIN!! LOL Just a side point to share from Annie Grace's 30 day Alcohol Experiment,on the topic of alcohol in moderation having health benefits & articles that "claim" moderate drinkers live longer than tea grannies. It's on Day 11 of the experiment (I'm kinda behind, I'm actually on Day 15 but doing catch up) she dissects an article that is based loosely on a "study." The points the article uses from the study to back up their "claims" are taken out of context & Annie printed out the actual study & showed HOW it was twisted to appear to support supposed health benefits & longevity from moderate drinking. When she highlighted what the study was actually saying compared to what the article was "attempting" to prove, it was an absolute false conclusion leading it's readers to believe moderate drinking is healthy. The actual study did NOT conclude that!! It is NOT good for us including our heart!...like Craig Beck says, alcohol is poison so how could drinking poison in moderation be of benefit...you may be drinking less, but you're still drinking poison!!
Long story short, there are thousands of studies (10 times more showing the negative health consequences of alcohol consumption vs a handful of "studies" showing any benefits) for eg alcohol is a KNOWN carcinogen...it gives people cancer, she actually posted a video detailing how that happens...on a cellular level it impairs our cells. She also compared the number of people who die from alcohol vs prescription & illegal drugs combined...alcohol victims are WAY higher...yet the attention is on drug use.
There is also the consideration of who is behind the study being considered & who is financing it....who is truly benefiting from people believing alcohol is good for you!!! Just another tool in the alcohol-free toolbox to use if that craving hits & a longing for poison rears it's ugly head.6
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