The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

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  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,177 Member
    Thank you to those who share these serious, deeply personal posts. There are those that follow our thread without comment and I am sure they also find your stories moving and thought provoking. Yes, alcohol hurts far more people than just the drinker himself/herself. This is one thought that helps to keep me sober.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 3,738 Member
    lloydrt wrote: »
    rubyred, thanks........you know, after I wrote this post about his drinking, I remembered something that happened just before he died. He was in the hospital, military hospital, he was military. I remember he was in bad ,bad shape. The Drs told him there was no hope, all the drinking and his smoking ruined his internal organs and he had just a very small, limited amount of time left. I flew in from Boston to visit him, but didn't talk much when I visisted.

    He really has never been there for me, ie, baseball games, graduation, school events, father son events at school,........nothing and besides, if he showed up, he would be drunk and embarrassed us all the very few times he did show up. It was always my mom supporting us kids for these events, he never bothered. I visited him for a while in his hospital room then was in the process of saying good bye and leaving to catch my flight that afternoon and was walking to the door to leave. I told him good bye and as I was walking towards the door, I turned around and looked at his face. He had this look on his face,( I can see it as if it were yesterday.) In his face at that very second, I could see shame, guilt, sadness, shock, regret, so much guilt and so much regret that he had tears in his eyes, I can even remember him wearing black rimmed glasses and the tears in his eyes. I never, ever saw my father cry. I went back, leaned over and kissed him and told him I loved him...( I was 27 at that time and never even hugged him or told him I loved him ) .....I took a 2nd look and saw, within that few seconds, the massive amount of regret he had as a father and alcoholic and he could also see that I still loved him and I forgave him . ...and it showed. ........He died within a few days, but I had to get back to the northeast where I was living to get back to work..............that was my last sight of my dads face , I never saw him alive again. .............I know this.........he really had time in the hospital to think about what his life was, and it was too late, it was all regret, the pain his drinking caused his family .............Im glad I hugged and kissed him, I have never really showed him any type of affection or received any from him, but till this day, 36 years later, it was probably the most important thing I ever did...( no regrets)..........again, i sincerely don't want to upset anyone or give feelings of guilt to anyone reading this , I just wanted to show the affects of alcoholism takes on children and wives. . ........... best of luck to each and every one of you, Ill have you all in my thoughts .......

    Beautiful post. I am amazed by your resiliency and human beings’ resiliency overall.

    I heard Maya Angelou read ‘ Still I rise ‘ on youtube.
    Maybe it’s written a little more about a woman but we all still rise. Wishing you a beautiful peaceful day Lloyd.
  • lorrainequiche59
    lorrainequiche59 Posts: 898 Member
    @joha5603 I hear your struggle, yet I think you are wanting to commit on some level to sobriety or you wouldn't be asking for advice. I'd suggest going back & re-reading your previous posts to remember why you became sober to begin with. That may help you decide if drinking is really worth it.

    I suppose reminding yourself what the 2 drinking experiences, or "doozies" were like & how you felt the following day/days after may help to decide if you want a repeat of those because it sounds to me like you would like to moderate, but likely cannot moderate.

    There's always Craig Beck/Annie Grace & their wealth of experience to draw on.

    Hoping the best for you. <3
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 3,738 Member
    joha5603 wrote: »
    I'm going to a concert this weekend and I'm thinking about drinking. I'm seeing one of my FAVORITE BANDS OF ALL TIME in a bee-you-tiful venue... and it's my birthday the next day. As I've said before, I'm not sure how committed I am to this sober life, but that I was just in a mode of "not drinking" for a bit. I wish I could give myself some advice, but I can't, so I'm turning here. I've drank only twice since early June (both doozies) so I've got all kinds of weird language in my head (I deserve it, it's my birthday, etc). Dammit, I just want to have 2 or 3 like a NORMAL PERSON.

    Do you want a hangover on your birthday? I have a feeling that could happen.
    Another strategy could be to have your partner/best friend keep you in check. And tell them in advance I am only drinking two-three drinks no matter what.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 3,738 Member
    @joha5603 I hear your struggle, yet I think you are wanting to commit on some level to sobriety or you wouldn't be asking for advice. I'd suggest going back & re-reading your previous posts to remember why you became sober to begin with. That may help you decide if drinking is really worth it.

    I suppose reminding yourself what the 2 drinking experiences, or "doozies" were like & how you felt the following day/days after may help to decide if you want a repeat of those because it sounds to me like you would like to moderate, but likely cannot moderate.

    There's always Craig Beck/Annie Grace & their wealth of experience to draw on.

    Hoping the best for you. <3

    Yes watching Craig Beck is a good way to stay away from alcohol. I agree with Lorraine - watch some videos in advance and see what they say.
  • lorrainequiche59
    lorrainequiche59 Posts: 898 Member
    @donimfp LOTS of valuable nuggets of wisdom in your "LONG saga." YAY, YAY & YAY!! Congrats of all of the above & thank you for sharing honestly. This is the type of post that we can all draw on when we're needing encouragement to keep on keepin' on!! <3<3
  • whitpauly
    whitpauly Posts: 1,483 Member
    Congrats @donimfp! Great job on pouring out the booze too,i think it's just an old habit to grab a bottle to celebrate something,hugs to all <3
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 3,738 Member
    @RubyRed427 Happy 60 AF days!! Challenging weekend ahead for you, but you sound primed to do some self care among the partying crowd. I'm invited to a family engagement party at the end of October. Unsure at this point if I'm attending. Part of me wants to & part of me doesn't. I'm waiting for a few weeks to make my final decision.

    You have done SO well in spite of all your social challenges. I get inspiration from your commitment. I can sense some sadness in your comment. It's tough being different, kind of isolating eh? I also hear your love of your sober lifestyle & appreciating the perks such as more time....It will only get better for us as we conquer the first year of firsts without our frenemy alcohol!! I know you will survive the weekend, but am hoping you thrive through the weekend feeling really good! <3

    THanks Lorraine! You are an inspiration to me. I smiled when you said “frenemy”. Just like my therapist said: alcohol has been your companion through good and bad, weddings, funerals, birthdays, parties, vacations, etc.
    You’re right- we have a year of firsts. I cant wait until this year is over in a way. But I am grateful for everything I have. So many people have serious health issues and me and my family are healthy. Wishing you a great weekend!

    I’ll be curious to see if you go to the engagement party. Since it’s in a few weeks, you have some time. Another thing I’ve learned is for now, it’s ok to say no to events if they aren’t fun or tempting you. Actually, it’s always ok to say no. It’s time to be a little selfish right now. But in a good way.
  • donimfp
    donimfp Posts: 795 Member
    @RubyRed427, wishing you another successful island trip. I guess I’m a hopeless romantic but I’m still wishing you unicorn sightings and other such AF adventures. Please forgive me if I sound presumptuous but I’m hoping you don’t underestimate what fun you can have AF. Mindless magazines can be fun, but I think more magical things than that are in store for you. I hope you discover things your tipsy friends can’t even imagine.
  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,177 Member
    Hi Everyone. I woke up with anxiety this morning, which usually only happens if I have been drinking. I haven't so I am wondering what is going on. As many of you know, I have had so many changes in the past 4-6 months. Too many to list again. Anyway, I poured myself a cup of coffee and opened my fitness pal community to get some inspiration. I love you all so much and all you selflessly share with each other. I love the unwavering support. @donimfp I am SO happy for you! You deserve that job and good for you about the wine. @RubyRed427 60 days is awesome! You continue to inspire me. Bring some trashy magazine like the Enquirer and enjoy them with your tea on your trip. I've got 2 more weddings coming up soon and usually that would be a trigger but not anymore. I will happily be the sober driver. I hope you all enjoy whatever your weekends bring.