The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

I am at the airport waiting to board I arrived just after 9AM and I am saddened to see how many seats are taken at the bar

Hi Everyone,
Today is day 60AF. Time flew after the first few weeks. All has been well. Occasionally, I get resentful that I cant drink normally like every one else. Then, I remind myself that “everyone else” is an exaggeration. About 10 percent of people cant drink and stop either. This weekend, I’m headed to the Islands in Lake Erie for a 60th birthday party. The other couples are true party drinkers- the type that pour bloody Mary’s at 9:00 am and then cocktails at noon and bar hopping at night. Anyway, these are my friends and I used to really enjoy hanging with them. THis is the last obligation I have committed to so I’ll be a good sport and follow through. But probably in the future I will declined invitations; it’s just not fun for me at this point.

I’ll be fine. I’ll keep strong and determined. But I sure hope that we can still enjoy non-drinking things. I’ll bring workout gear to go on walks on the island; I plan on reading mindless magazines and hopefully laughing with them.

@donimfp So wonderful that things worked out for you. And the commute is shorter plus all of those other good perks. Too bad we didn’t have a crystal ball to have seen that things would work out; it would have saved your from angst and worry. But you still had a good attitude!! Xo

Out of many positive of being a non-drinker is lots and lots of time to do things. It’s only 6:00 p.m. and after work I went grocery shopping and home made brownies. I ate dinner and caught up on MFP. The old me would have been at a happy hour after work and came home tired and without motivation.

whitpauly wrote: »

Grrr,I've drank today on day 79 so disappointed with myself and questioning why? The urge was just so overwhelming I felt weird,this really sux

Hey 79 days is awesome!!! Many of us have done that- we think we are clear of that thinking, and then we bend. It’s normal as well. Did you enjoy it? Write down your feelings in a journal to look at a later date.

I must admit today I opened the liquor cabinet and was going to smell the vodka but I dont have any in there!! So, I was going to smell the rum! Like a friend of mine on MFP said we are all a beautiful mess.
Please don’t let it get you down. It happens.
Tomorrow, you can have a fresh start.

lorrainequiche59 wrote: »

Good Morn to All...Where is everyone? Hope weekends for all of us went well!!

@kpk54 I used to believe that a person had to hit bottom before they stopped drinking, but I'm not so sure about that anymore. I've seen people hit several, what should be, "bottoms" only to go on to have more hangovers, do more stupid things, lose more jobs, ruin even more friendships & go on to continue to hurt more people...including themselves over & over till they die in one way or another from drinking.

I tend to agree with Craig Beck when he says that if a person thinks that alcohol is of some benefit, they will continue to go back to it. I also believe that once a person has damaged enough brain cells drinking, the re-structure of their brain, or the irreversible damage, changes their ability to reason things through or care enough to stop it. For some the only bottom they'll hit is 6 feet under unfortunately! For me, the saddest part is when they perpetuate the cycle by procreating & passing their damaged legacy on to their families. And then we all get to repeat it until WE stop it!! I really hope that is where we all are in this journey.

You make some valid points. I think for me, I haven’t YET hit rock bottom but I saw the writing on the wall. I was one step away from getting a DUI which could ruin lives and my career, damage my liver or organs, and basically make me alcohol dependent for fun and happiness. I am trying to evolve and move past depending on anyone or anything for personal fulfillment or contentment. Like a celebrity said in an interview, “Alcohol is a con.” I think the great John Mayer said that. Although he is also a pothead, I have to agree that alcohol cons us into believing we need it to enjoy life.

I want to get back to basics. See the beauty in the simple things and not try to escape the bad times or cloud them with drinking. A MFP friend recently told me sobriety brings out the real “us”, the best of “us”. We are a beautiful mess.

I went to the Lake Erie islands this weekend. My friends got drunk, didnt remember ordering and eating a large pizza, bar hopped and partied. I participated with a smile and stayed sober the whole time. I had a pretty good time actually. I danced and laughed and woke up early and went for a power walk. One decision I made was not to smoke a joint. My friend actually brought it for me saying since I’m not drinking anymore, I could get high and have fun. I decided I didn’t want to trade one drug for another. I’m content with my decisions.

HazelsLunchbox wrote: »

Hey, just found this discussion when searching for alcohol free. I keep trying to quit drinking and I had about 6 months last year, but my husband and I separated because he had some serious mental illness problems where the kids and I weren't safe and now that I moved in with my parents, their problem is becoming my problem. They drink a LOT and don't see it as something that needs to stop, and it's their house so I have no control over whether or not it's here. It just sucks. I started drinking too much in my mid twenties, then didn't while I was pregnant with my girls, but it seems like ever since it COULD become a problem, it has been if it's around. So I really want to get sober and stay that way, but I really need a good online support group because I don't have one at home, and I can't get child care to attend any groups in the area. I don't really want to do a whole 12 step thing, because it's not like I'm sleeping in the gutter or getting DUI's, but I don't feel good ever, I'm way overweight from it, and it's just not a good mix for my body.

Ahh that is a tough situation. You’ve been through so much and I can see how it’s easier/more convenient to drink since you’re living with other drinkers. I get it.

What helped for me is participating in this type of group/ online at first. Immerse yourself in educated yourself on how to quit/ the dangers of quitting. I read lots of blogs: The Sober School. WAtch videos about alcoholism like Craig Beck’s on youtube. He’s the stop drinking expert. Take it slowly. One minute at a time. One hour at a time. And One day at a time.
Have substitutes on hand- the cravings will come and so what will you do? Take a walk? Drink tea. Go to a coffee shop. It’s time to be selfish and focus on you.
On this forum, find the “Less alcohol- one day at a time July 2018”. THe first page of that thread has a ton of videos, book suggestions and tips gathered by me, friends, strangers and others who want to reduce or quit. Keep active on the thread. The first 10 days are the hardest. Your brain is now changed from daily alcohol. You may go through anxiety and depression. There’s so much I could say. But the experts say it better. I’m 63 days sober and still have some tempting times I want to cave in. But I remember why I personally quit alcohol. Determine your reasons and write them down. Wishing you success and happiness. Keep in touch. I once heard someone say, “What do you call a person who tried to quit drinking on their own?” Answer: A drunk. I’m not trying to offend, but I do think the secret of quitting is community support either online, AA or other meetings, therapy, etc. This is a disease for some of us and we need all the support we can get. Hugs. Xo