WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2018

Good morning all! Happy Thursday! I am a little later than normal hopping on this site. I have added walking on the treadmill to my morning routine; as it is getting a little more dicey weather-wise where it concerns getting the kids out. It isn't so much the weather as it is poor clothing choices by the daycare parents. Still trying to make them understand that the kids need more than a thin fleece jacket, now. Sometimes I feel like I spend more time hand holding and explaining to parents than I do working with children. I am sure this is something all of you teachers are familiar.
Allie and Okie- Holy Crow! That is some expensive prep beverage!! I have never had great insurance; but thankfully the prep they prescribed for me only cost me $5 after insurance. That was two years ago, though. I wonder what it would cost now that I have a state insurance plan...
Holidays- Technically I have no holidays off, unless I schedule them off myself. (The benefits of being the boss AND owner/employee) After 23 years of providing care for kids, I have finally allowed myself all national holidays off with pay plus four weeks paid vacation. That gives me about five weeks off each year. I don't take what I consider the "fluff" holidays off (like President's Day/MLK or presidential birthdays/Columbus Day). I would love to see them add an "indigenous peoples" holiday and spend that day studying our Native Americans and finding ways to help them, rather than continue to take advantage of them, as our government seems to STILL do. (sorry, stepping down from that soapbox)

Oh! I got a message yesterday from my older sister's best friend. My sister's 58th birthday is in January and her son is surprising her with a flight back to Michigan (they live in Florida) AND a ticket to see ELO in concert next July! She will be staying with her best friend, who called me and invited me to join them for the concert and an overnight in her new place (she just bought a posh loft condo by the venue)! Woo-hoo! Sister's friend is paying for my ticket as part of her gift to my sister, so I will just need to put aside a bit of money for dinner/fun. This will be the first concert I have been to in about 30 years! I think the last one I went to was in the 80s; Jefferson Starship and Night Ranger. Another fun fact: My sister and this friend were the ones who took me to see Prince when I turned 16. They took me out "outfit" shopping and bought my outfit and then we all headed to the east side of the state for that concert. I don't remember much of it because I had full blown strep and a temp of 104; but what I do remember, it was GREAT!

Well, my daycare parents really came through and have been completely understanding of Tim's uncle's funeral on Friday. They will be picking up their kids at 11am so that I can be there with Tim and his family. Very thankful!

Sending love and hugs to all who need them! ttfn xoxoxo KJ (Kelly)

Hello, all - first, apologies, as this will be longer than is probably warranted. Please skip if you choose, I'm writing more to sort out my own thought processes than to gain a tremendous amount of input. There's just nowhere else I can say these things, so again, my apologies.

First - Rori's advice to always consider this interim CEO's filters was absolutely invaluable. She's here to fix things, so that's how she looks at EVERYthing, including me.

Second - she always sees me at my most highly stressed and tense, as I don't like traveling and I don't want to be away from home, so I'm always a bit on tilt when I get here. I don't eat as healthy as I could/should, and in general, am just not myself. I'm an introvert, I know it, traveling drives me FAR outside my comfort zone, and honestly, I'm OK with who I am. She told me, in these exact words, that I am an angry person, and I have edges. Not arguing with that--the only time she talks to me is when I'm here. There's little other interaction. This "on-tilt" me is who she knows.

So, when she told me she considered my travel a "benefit" that adds $11,000 a year to my pay, I was taken aback. I woke up with the realization this morning that "benefits" in a CEO's world are "costs" to anyone else. In other words, the amount they pay for me includes that amount, so whether it is actually a benefit to me is irrelevant to her. It's part of the costs the organization is absorbing to keep me employed, so that's what she's considering.

But her overall assessment was that it is still up for question as to whether my grant work over the last year was enough to offset that cost.

Which leaves me trying to cope with the fact that, to her, the grant work I've done over the last year was for something she does not believe should have been done (long story, not worth going into--chalk it up to a huge difference in philosophies from my previous CEO). This means that all the work to bring in a half million more in grants than the year previous has been dismissed as not worth doing, and of no value to the organization. That is her truth.

That one hurts. A lot.

She also advised me to start applying for other positions. She hastily added, "It's not like we're getting rid of you," but that was kind of closing the barn door after the horse had already gotten loose.

There were a few sideways compliments mixed in, that she believes I'm more "self-aware" than most, and a "tactician." I came away feeling that I had been judged and found wanting, and my work was without value.

Not a good place to be, inside my head this morning. Trying to wrap my head around all this in a hotel room when all I want is to be home is not helping.

Sorry, this ended up being even more of a bummer than I thought it would.

Thanks for being here,
Love y'all,
Lisa