WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2018

KJLaMore

Heather- You are a powerhouse! I wonder how long the solicitors would have wibbled and wobbled over dates and dawdled away days, if you hadn't lit a fire under them. What are they thinking during these home "chain" buying/selling deals? Seems like they would be a lot more intentional in securing everything for everyone to prevent people from dropping out! Fingers still crossed for you; but this seems to be good progress! Hove-bound Heather That sounds good!

KetoneKaren

"Hove-bound Heather"!!! Yes! Our rallying cry! Good one, Kelly!

margaretturk

Janetr love the pictures!

Michelle congratulations!

Machka9

So humid here these days that my hair is big and floofy like a lion's mane!!

Meanwhile, it's midnight and I'm sitting here, having a hot flash and thinking ... have I done what I wanted to do this evening, and can I go to bed?


Machka in Oz

barbiecat

Hooray, Heather is headed for Hove.

1948Peachy

KELLY: Once again you have shown such great insight into caring for your son and for your advice to Michele. We have been blessed in our relationship with my DnL's family. Both of us moms have/are making efforts to be close and cordial keeping in mind that each of us have our own child's heart close at hand. We celebrate holidays together, go to the grandchildren's events together, etc. I especially try as I grew up in a chaotic situation with my mom not being able to get along with my Dad's family (all who lived within a quarter mile of each other).

HEATHER: Kudos to you for your vigilant pursuit of getting the house mess straightened out. Hoping you will be able to move quickly and easily.

LISA: Have a blessed week as you get the mountain home livable!

JANET & KAREN: Beautiful ladies!

I did hear from Lenora yesterday! She said they were without electricity from last Wednesday until Monday evening. But, they pulled through the storm without a lot of damage to their home.

I have been eating mindfully over the past two weeks and am finally seeing the 7 lbs that sneaked up on me slowly go back down. So, I am very happy about that!

Carol in GA

grandmallie

Yeahhhhh Heather!!!
Me Im getting Facebook messaged by my SIL who is reaming me a new one...I really dont need really..
her telling me that I am the executor of my dads estate and that I need to be paying everything involved with it... no more of my brother taking money out an account to put 10 gallons of disiel fuel into my dads oil tank.... I have been paying everything.. and she has just really pushed the last straw... and has me in tears.... she is bossy and selfish and rude... and I am done.. I will speak with my brother but I have to distance myself from her for my own sake...

janetr7476

Heather, so very, very exciting. It's such great news to hear everything seems to be falling in place. Soon you'll be jogging along the sea wall along with all the other healthy-minded Hove residents. I can easily picture you right at home in their midst.

So thrilled for you!

Janetr OKC

Vickil57

Heather--I admit I do not understand all this back and forth with the selling and buying of the house, but I would of went crazy long before now. Sending a prayer that this gets done and settled SOON!!

Michele--Congrates on being a Grandma. Don't let it get you down about Maria and what she does or doesn't. Just enjoy the time you have with them. Do not let her or anyone else rob you of the joy. Remember only God gives life and it is his timing. I think Kelly has some good advice also.

Janetr-Thanks for sharing the pictures of you and DGD, you both look so happy.

To answer the question between DH and I we have 7 children, 23 grandchildren and 4 great grandsons and other one due in Janurary. Our children grew up together as we will be married 34 years next month and they were young when we married, and we have always told them the only steps in our house are to the front door. I admit somedays are better then others.

Karen--So cute fascinator and ear rings. I have so many different ear rings for Halloween I can wear a different pair everyday of the month.

Kelly--Glad you were able to help your DS, and I agree no matter how old our children are when they hurt we hurt. Good advice for Michele.

Carol--Thanks for the update on Lenora.

Allie--I agree you need to deal only with your brother and stay away from SIL.

Blessings, Vicki GI NE

1948Peachy

VICKI: This was very inspiring...."To answer the question between DH and I we have 7 children, 23 grandchildren and 4 great grandsons and other one due in Janurary. Our children grew up together as we will be married 34 years next month and they were young when we married, and we have always told them the only steps in our house are to the front door. I admit somedays are better then others."

ryenday

Mocha Latte

My sister had an interesting take on my mother’s attitude toward my disabilities (to me it seemed like denial and shame) - her thought was there was such great stigma attached at the time to a diagnosis of ‘learning disability” that mom may have just been trying to protect me. That perspective is probably closer to the truth than mine was.

But we both agreed it was one of those things to be kept ‘secret or private and never admitted’ and it was jaw-dropping that she (sister) had no idea there was a reason I didn’t drive or compete in swimming (like she and my brother did) etc. (until we talked about it a few years ago) Because Mom made it clear that my disabilities were not things I was supposed to admit or talk about.

I’m so glad that has changed in society for youngsters now. My nieces are well aware of their personal traits that make some things harder or easier for them, some of which require medical attention or disability status, yet each is a self confident, open and positive young person I admire.

Just some thoughts before work.

Rye

SophieRosieMom

Good morning!

Thanks to you gals, I learned something = I had never heard the term "fascinator" before. Always thought the little poofs of netting and flowers/other items were cute and, well, fascinating! We have some gorgeous models in this group!

Janetr - what cute photos of you and your grand daughter! And what a fun day for you BOTH!! Shopping with my grandmother and/or my mom and/or my sister and/or my girlfriends are among my favorite memories.

Carol - thanks for the scoop on Lenora and glad to hear your eating mindfully is paying off!

Kelly - you are wise beyond your years. Again, the children you care for will be better prepared for life with the lessons you are teaching them.

Allie - I'm so glad your dad's estate is nearly all settled. Is the house sale a done deal now? I think this process puts a lot of stress on everyone and it seems like it's never ending for all involved. I know when my sis finally signed all the papers on our parent's estate, the cloud lifted.

Michele - an odd thought popped into my mind... you and Maria might actually get along quite well now that the stress of the wedding and all is over. So going there for Thanksgiving might be a healing process. I didn't know my MIL before my DH and I were married and when she stopped in to visit unannounced a couple years later I really wasn't sure about her. She and DH didn't get along. But as time passed, I became fond of her. It was a long-distance relationship since she lived on the other side of the country, which might have been a good thing. She passed from dementia several years ago and I'm glad I got to know her what little bit I did.

Heather - woo hoo!

Machka - (((HUGS))) I often think of you and the challenges you face in dealing with your husband's recovery. On the bright side, he has progressed a lot since the accident. You have a LOT on your plate - keeping busy can be therapy tho, a chance to focus on something else.

That's the quick version. Have a great day, ladies!

Lanette
Sunny and warmish SW WA State

Snowflake1968

Michele - Congratulations on the grandbaby that is exciting news!

In-laws are such a tricky situation to navigate. My in-laws are the best people in the world, I absolutely love spending time with them. My Dad was always extremely jealous of them and ruined most of my trips home. His behaviour just made it so I didn't want to go home because I didn't want to put up with the jealousy, passive aggressive comments, and guilt trips he put on me. I was always very careful to go home for an odd number of days. I would go for 9 days, 4 at my parents, 4 at my in-laws, and 1 at my best friends. This was not good enough for my Dad. Even the days that were marked for others he would be upset if I went before supper that day. His jealousy ruined our last trip I was home while I was still able to visit with him before he passed, it has been almost 6 years now and I still remember the harsh words that were said before I remember the pleasant parts of the trip. It hurts my heart even now.

Before we moved away many Christmases and holidays were ruined because of my Dad's possessiveness. My MIL in an attempt to accommodate and appease my Dad and to help me started having candlelight Christmas dinners. This was not the best solution as she had the most grandchildren that should have been being put to bed at about the time we were eating, but God bless her for doing it. My Dad would show up at our place very early sometimes as early as 6am, before the girls were even awake, to watch my girls open their presents. We would then pack them all up immediately after and we would go to their place to open presents there and have a Christmas dinner. We would leave there around 3 - 4 in the afternoon, go to our place to drop off gifts, pick up gifts and then go to my in-laws. I hated Christmas, it was like moving day. The girls were fussy and miserable because they wanted to just play with their toys.

I swore to myself I would never be "that" in-law that allowed my jealousy or possessiveness ruin holidays and special occasions for my girls. This has meant that we celebrate holidays sometimes early, sometimes late but I always accommodate. Last Christmas was the first Christmas Day in 7 years we actually had Christmas Dinner and gifts on December 25th!

I am so very blessed to have my daughters very near to me right now. At one time my youngest lived with her other half and his mother two provinces away. At times, especially holidays, I was jealous that she had my daughter and I didn't. I was also jealous when I was told about shopping trips, etc that I wasn't able to do and I wouldn't have had the money to spend on my daughter even if she were closer. I had to remind myself that my daughter was blessed to have a "MIL" in her life that treated her well, accepted her for who she was and was there for her. My daughter had to have major surgery while she was living there and I couldn't be there, the MIL took time off work to care for her, she took her to appointments, she did everything I would have done. I was so very grateful for this. Now I have them living near me and I feel bad she isn't here to share things. I personally think, like others have said you should accept this invitation for Thanksgiving and try to get to know Maria better and maybe reach an understanding that they are only trying to help the "kids" out not trying to outdo you and Vince. My need to not make my daughter ever feel torn like my Dad made me feel all the time really helped me to keep all feelings to myself and to do whatever I needed to make all of the relationships work.

I won't even go into the issues with my eldest daughter's MIL, I am very sad for her that she doesn't have a loving in-law experience it affects her, her husband and the grandchildren terribly.

Sorry if I rambled and went on too long, apparently I still have a lot of resentment about this subject. I hope you are able to navigate your way through this without too much suffering for you or Denise.

Snowflake1968

Lisa - Smart way to move, I hope that it is all smooth and no hiccups!

Heather - I am so excited for you! Finally! Just get a date and you'll be on your way!

Kelly - My heart hurts for your son, I have a daughter with anxiety and depression, I wish I could do more for her than just hold her. It's tough watching your children suffer.

Allie - Wow, your SIL has some nerve! I don't think there is anything about being an executor that says you have to pay for everything. Your brother needs to speak to her.

Rye - I think your sister is very insightful. My SIL has cerebral palsy, she has told me stories about how her Mother told her things she would never be able to do, but never really tried to encourage her to try things. My SIL, is a remarkable woman who doesn't let anything stop her. She got her drivers licence at age 30 or so, it took a while to do it, but my Dad and brother worked with her and taught her well. I was so happy for her the day she got it!

fanncy0626

Heather - Congratulations on finally seeing a light at the end on this very long tunnel

Janetr & Karen- love the hats!

Michele- the same thing happened to my DH with names. I think your daughter feels pressure from DH and in laws. Kelly gave very good advice. Go to Thanksgiving and spend as much time as possible with your new family. Life happens and you will always be mom...

cityjaneLondon

Well my friends, it seems like we were jumping the gun a bit!
It was sooooooooooooo close today. We got the final phone call check in from the solicitors and we're assured exchange was half an hour away. The removal people rang us wanting the deposit of 30% , but we have put them off for the actual payment until tomorrow. I have moved some money from savings to pay that as poor DH is shelling out a whole load!
So, we waited. Then we rang the solicitors and asked what was happening. They said they were just contacting the seller's solicitors.
OK . We waited. And waited. I did some bonus calories on the bike to sweat off the adrenaline. Then our solicitors rang back at gone 5 pm to say they could not get hold of the buyers for the final ok before exchange. Uncontactable.
No idea why. It may be that they have gone into hospital to have their baby. Or they could just be playing silly b÷××+÷#.
Either way, it is just typical of the trouble we have had with them. Even if I were in labour I would make sure I had ok'd stuff with my solicitor on exchange day. !!!!!
So, at 9 am tomorrow we hope our solicitors will call us to get us to ok it AGAIN. Then they must find our buyers. I hope it all comes together, but I am almost resigned to it going belly up.
We have to pay the removal deposit tomorrow morning.
As you can imagine I spent a lot of the day in anxiety mode. We were waiting for exchange to break out DH's birthday champagne, but decided to have it anyway. It was delicious. Still got a glass to come with the cheese.
I'm feeling more resigned now. I do hope I sleep tonight, but, if not, I will just read all night.
Hard to understand some folks. I could make a phone call even if I were having a Caesarian. They have been c÷×+ all along.

So, my lovelies, no celebrating yet.

I've watched a whole load of mind numbing daytime TV today, but at least I've burned 800 calories.

Love you all.
Heather UK xxxxxxx

LisaInAR

Ah, Heather, I'm sorry, and very hopeful for tomorrow. So frustrating!

I packed and moved everything in my office that I could load alone, went up and my son helped unload, then we went back to the rental house, loaded up the truck with the things I needed his help with (bookcase, laser printer, filing cabinets...) as well as a lot of other loose things that could be taken, coats, boots, bathroom storage stuff, and drove it back up. Plus a stop on the way down at Wally-World, picked up rugs and a few things I needed. Unloaded the truck once more, got it all in my new office (the old dining room, which we don't need and would never use)... And I ran out of gas. Not in the truck. In me. I hit that seven-hour mark, and said, I'm done, I'm through, and am now back at the rental house with my feet up, playing gin rummy on my laptop, and about to take a nap.

God, I feel old... but realistic, at least. I will be more likely to be able to move more stuff tomorrow by stopping today. That's what I'm telling myself, anyway.

Tomorrow is the kitchen. Friday morning is the bedroom and bathrooms, other than necessities for Saturday morning. Saturday, the menfolk move the big stuff while I flutter around and dither and micromanage.

Naptime!

Lisa in AR

OregonMother

cityjaneLondon wrote: »

Amazed I slept! But I did and was only awake reading in the night for half an hour. Woke up to DH's birthday.
We are going to have tonight's starter for lunch, scallops and chorizo. That will spread out the calories a bit.

Heard from our agents today that the buyer's solicitors are going to tell them that our completion date is the one.
I have emailed our solicitors to tell them that. Hope exchange happens today and I can book the removal. I will need to send them 10% deposit, which is why I haven't been able to confirm. I have been quite stressed waiting to hear this morning, but I'm calmer right now. I still did my exercises. Found the push ups a great way to use up spare adrenaline.
Just have to let the lawyers do their stuff now.

Thank you my friends for bearing with me through all this. I feel I have been very boring, but it has helped me to get it out there.

LOVING the fascinators and the beautiful women under them! :bigsmile:

Love Heather UK xxxxxxx

I hope this finally happens for you! What an ordeal. What do people do when they absolutely have to move because of a job? This has been nearly nightmarish for me to think about.

Felicia
Willamette Valley, Oregon

suebdew

There are so many wise women on this thread. I love reading the insightful thoughts that pass among this group.
Yes, Janet I do have grandkids but only 9. Two have graduated college but have no interest in dating or marriage. One is going to apply to medical school next year and says she doesn’t have time for that. My blessing is they are all healthy and happy and doing their thing.
Heather - somebody needs to redo the English system of buying and selling houses. They could learn something from the “colonies”. That is a nightmare. Still keeping my fingers crossed for you. You may just have to buy another bottle of champagne when it happens.
Lisa- you are wise to pace yourself. Moving is like skiing, the third day is the hardest. You don’t want to be too tired to enjoy your mountain home.
Glad Lenora didn’t have too much trouble. Our river is still high but so far hasn’t breached the top bank. We thought it would yesterday but we were lucky. There are many places in TX much worse off than we are. Still raining......
Getting ready to get out of the house for the first time since Sunday. I am feeling better so we are going to the church to help feed the youth group.
Stay safe my Pals
SueBDew in TX

OregonMother

I've been missing for a while -- I'm not even sure how long -- at least a couple months. My work life has been crazy. Home life is chaotic. And hubby and I went for a trip a couple weeks ago. Just today feeling like I am back to a kind of normal.

First -- my youngest is now 12!


Heather and other UK peeps -- look where we went!


I also tramped around London while hubby was at his conference, and became quite adept at using the DLR.

One final image from my trip for inspiration:


Thinking of you all often.

Felicia
Willamette Valley, Oregon