My date with the person above me was going great until...
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            the devil showed up with a golden fiddle and was like "Hey yo, wanna wager your soul?"0
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            He sold his soul for a fiddle and didn't even know how to play!1
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            She woke up...0
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            Her Babies Father
 Came Back In The Picture
 And I Was Happy For Her
 And Bowed Out 🙂0
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            He hit on the waitress0
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            I fell off the table1
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            She fell off the table and broke my golden fiddle, which I had just probably overpaid for (especially since I have no idea how to play a fiddle)0
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            I discovered he was way too unforgiving.0
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            ...I discovered I was way too unforgiving0
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            he forgave me all my sins....i didn't know I had sinned but apparently he knew.1
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            She somehow caught on to my sin-tracking scheme0
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            He threw a breadstick at my head in a totally unprovoked attack 2 2
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            She told me she has a Huntsman spider.0
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            his girlfriend showed up.....1
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            She challenged me to a fight to the death. RIP @katerwedo ...0
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            Cops busted in and took her to jail for murder 1 1
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            I dont want to talk about it1
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            bigjuicy1234 wrote: »I dont want to talk about it
 Sorry, I'll give you a warning next time.. no surprises  1 1
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            The hydrogen exploded0
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            slimgirljo15 wrote: »bigjuicy1234 wrote: »I dont want to talk about it
 Sorry, I'll give you a warning next time.. no surprises  
 She forgot the🍹🍕😣...but it all turned out alright cuz c'mon could you be mad at all that😍😘1
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            She started humming these boots are made for walking.....
 And that's just what she did0
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            Reckoner67 wrote: »The hydrogen exploded
 But the trailer was saved....until the police got called🙄1
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            AliNouveau wrote: »She started humming these boots are made for walking.....
 And that's just what she did
 And then we shape of powered to the shape of Thelma and Louise and then did it all...only this time made it safely to the other side....ahhh 😘0
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            She slapped my asss and called me a bittch. (That's when it started to get good!)1
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            She said she was going to make me her bittch0
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            He didn't want to be my bittch0
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            Her husband came home1
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            He wouldn't wear the studded collar I bought him 0 0
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            I noticed her studded collar0
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            slimgirljo15 wrote: »He wouldn't wear the studded collar I bought him 
 She asked me to wear a collar 2 sizes too small0
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