We broke up because...
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Too dog centric...not enough cat!
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So many cats. There was no room for me0
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She just kept kicking me out of her life and I don't know why0
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He kept showing my private pictures online to everyone.0
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She said she was an exhibitionist...I was just trying to help0
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He kept sending me giraffes with different genitalia photoshopped in.1
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He wasn't into giraffes
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I kept getting paper cuts0
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He just didn't like me anymore
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She was always dressed impeccably...but she only wore brown....everything was brown. I thought I was dating a Hershey Bar.0
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He wore his sunglasses to bed0
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She keeps stealing the covers0
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She insisted I always bring her roses.0
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I gave her roses but she gave me the thorns1
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There were no guns with his roses.0
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He spat the dummy0
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She never let me know her real name0
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He wouldn't buy me a pet otter.0
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She was otter ridiculous about her otters!1
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Kept stealing my Pop Rocks!0
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I dont like beards0
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The sun is for everyone. I learned I couldn't bottle her and keep her for myself or him, in just assuming the sun is a girl0
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She's not clever enough..
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SHE doesn't like couch potatoes.. 😝0
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This content has been removed.
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How does one keep a cloud???? How does one bottle a sunbeam? I don't know how to0
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