We broke up because...
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because he was too late all the time1
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Always trying to plan my day0
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Too dog centric...not enough cat!
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So many cats. There was no room for me0
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She just kept kicking me out of her life and I don't know why0
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He kept showing my private pictures online to everyone.0
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She said she was an exhibitionist...I was just trying to help0
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He kept sending me giraffes with different genitalia photoshopped in.1
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He wasn't into giraffes
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I kept getting paper cuts0
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He just didn't like me anymore
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She was always dressed impeccably...but she only wore brown....everything was brown. I thought I was dating a Hershey Bar.0
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He wore his sunglasses to bed0
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She keeps stealing the covers0
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She insisted I always bring her roses.0
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I gave her roses but she gave me the thorns1
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There were no guns with his roses.0
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He spat the dummy0
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She never let me know her real name0
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He wouldn't buy me a pet otter.0
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