Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Confession: After much thought, I have decided I do in fact want kids. (Just one, actually). I've approached the topic with DH, and have let him know I want one. He said he still doesn't, and now we're "too old" to even try. (30&31?? Hardly too old!). I have baby fever bad now. It's the worst case I've ever had. I've had it for like a week or two at a time before, and usually am able to brush it off by thinking of things like having no room, no money, diaper blowouts, sleepless nights, etc.
This bout has lasted 3 freaking months. And still going strong. It doesn't help that I did have a pregnancy scare earlier this month, and it left me feeling more bummed then relieved that it was just a scare. Any pointers on converting DH over to team baby? LOL. I know I need to tell him exactly how I feel. (I have, more or less on several occasions). But I need to set him down, and REALLY tell him. Like now. Just not sure where to lead in to get the best listening ear, ya know? MIL has been suggesting for years that I just tell him I'm going off BC, and leave protection up to him...(How my DH came to be) I'm not sure that's the best course of action , but it is getting highly tempting.
Ugh. So anyways. Any cute puppy pics to lighten this mood? Oh wait, then I'll have PUPPY fever too.
Yeah I feel ya. I’ve come around to having kids. But I don’t know what to suggest with convincing Hubby because Danny is up for it. It’s a dilemma because you don’t want to badger him in case it makes him against it even more. I agree that leaving the protection up to him is a bit unfair, but then again, who said it was all up to you? 😉 have you got any friends with kids? Get them to keep saying how amazing it is.
Would reverse psychology work?
Our kids with friends dont help much, lol. My closest friend seems to have lost all her previous identity after becoming a mom (including thier uh, couples time). Apparently, the most "fun" they've had in 3 years since thier 1st was born is while trying to baby # 2 (on the way), and now fun time is back on the back burner again. We've seen this happen with so many couples. One of his big objections(fears) is I'll lose myself and just become this mom-bot, completly letting myself go, and never being intimate again. I've tried to reassure him that that's not me, I dont think he's convinced.
Our newer set of friends have 2 girls that are just darling, so maybe I can point out all thier little cute moments when they're around. (already started actually).
Reverse phycology would not work with him. As soon as I would say the words "nope don't want em" He'd table that conversation and we would be on along with our childless life forever, lol. Thing is, I want to get one on the ground fairly soonish. Like in the next 1-2 years. Mostly because I don't want to be 60 when they move out, and also the older I get the higher risk of complications. Just not sure how to approach that conversation. Without blurting out " Oh hey, BTW I wanna quit my BC in a few months, Whadya think?" in the middle of dinner.
If he's worried you'll lose yourself, the simple solution is him stepping up. Much easier for mum to feel up for it when she's had a little time for herself!
As for BC, I think you've got to be blatant as being subtle is too close to being sly for such an important thing. Why is it such a shocker that the one who wants to avoid pregnancy should be the one to take responsibility for BC? But really, you want everyone to be happy. Have you told him just how important this is? It would be an utter deal breaker for me - and I told my husband as much!
Well if I do decide to go off the bc, I would most certainly make a clear announcement as such. We decided kids some day when we got married. But we wanted to wait. He eventually morphed into kids never. Talked to too many *kitten* dads telling him what little life ruiners they are, I think.
I've told him up front children were very important to me. But since I'm dealing with a mid marriage mind change with someone who is perfect in all other areas... makes things a bit more complicated... I just hope I can gently nudge him my way without pushing him into something he doesn't want, and resenting me for it. Blegh.2 -
I hope so too. And I hope your husband makes friends with actual good dads. Yes it's true, he'll have less time and money for himself and his hobbies and will rarely be your main priority, but my husband will be the first to say becoming a dad is the best thing he ever did. Ours are one and three so peak hard work age combo, but they are also peak cute and adoring of their daddy, so it balances out. My husband works from home most days and complains the kids are distracting him, but the days he's away from home, he says he misses them!2
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Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Confession: After much thought, I have decided I do in fact want kids. (Just one, actually). I've approached the topic with DH, and have let him know I want one. He said he still doesn't, and now we're "too old" to even try. (30&31?? Hardly too old!). I have baby fever bad now. It's the worst case I've ever had. I've had it for like a week or two at a time before, and usually am able to brush it off by thinking of things like having no room, no money, diaper blowouts, sleepless nights, etc.
This bout has lasted 3 freaking months. And still going strong. It doesn't help that I did have a pregnancy scare earlier this month, and it left me feeling more bummed then relieved that it was just a scare. Any pointers on converting DH over to team baby? LOL. I know I need to tell him exactly how I feel. (I have, more or less on several occasions). But I need to set him down, and REALLY tell him. Like now. Just not sure where to lead in to get the best listening ear, ya know? MIL has been suggesting for years that I just tell him I'm going off BC, and leave protection up to him...(How my DH came to be) I'm not sure that's the best course of action , but it is getting highly tempting.
Ugh. So anyways. Any cute puppy pics to lighten this mood? Oh wait, then I'll have PUPPY fever too.
Yeah I feel ya. I’ve come around to having kids. But I don’t know what to suggest with convincing Hubby because Danny is up for it. It’s a dilemma because you don’t want to badger him in case it makes him against it even more. I agree that leaving the protection up to him is a bit unfair, but then again, who said it was all up to you? 😉 have you got any friends with kids? Get them to keep saying how amazing it is.
Would reverse psychology work?
Our kids with friends dont help much, lol. My closest friend seems to have lost all her previous identity after becoming a mom (including thier uh, couples time). Apparently, the most "fun" they've had in 3 years since thier 1st was born is while trying to baby # 2 (on the way), and now fun time is back on the back burner again. We've seen this happen with so many couples. One of his big objections(fears) is I'll lose myself and just become this mom-bot, completly letting myself go, and never being intimate again. I've tried to reassure him that that's not me, I dont think he's convinced.
Our newer set of friends have 2 girls that are just darling, so maybe I can point out all thier little cute moments when they're around. (already started actually).
Reverse phycology would not work with him. As soon as I would say the words "nope don't want em" He'd table that conversation and we would be on along with our childless life forever, lol. Thing is, I want to get one on the ground fairly soonish. Like in the next 1-2 years. Mostly because I don't want to be 60 when they move out, and also the older I get the higher risk of complications. Just not sure how to approach that conversation. Without blurting out " Oh hey, BTW I wanna quit my BC in a few months, Whadya think?" in the middle of dinner.
If he's worried you'll lose yourself, the simple solution is him stepping up. Much easier for mum to feel up for it when she's had a little time for herself!
As for BC, I think you've got to be blatant as being subtle is too close to being sly for such an important thing. Why is it such a shocker that the one who wants to avoid pregnancy should be the one to take responsibility for BC? But really, you want everyone to be happy. Have you told him just how important this is? It would be an utter deal breaker for me - and I told my husband as much!
Well if I do decide to go off the bc, I would most certainly make a clear announcement as such. We decided kids some day when we got married. But we wanted to wait. He eventually morphed into kids never. Talked to too many *kitten* dads telling him what little life ruiners they are, I think.
I've told him up front children were very important to me. But since I'm dealing with a mid marriage mind change with someone who is perfect in all other areas... makes things a bit more complicated... I just hope I can gently nudge him my way without pushing him into something he doesn't want, and resenting me for it. Blegh.
Only sterilisation is 100% BC, just saying
But yeah, I think wiggle your way into a serious conversation over a couple of drinks. That’s how me and Danny have our hardest conversations. Money, having kids, not having kids, worries about having kids, fears of the future, things on our mind. Generally we feel a lot better about everything once we have had a good talk in a pub garden. You speak the truth after a few drinks as well.2 -
melissafeagins wrote: »I don’t have any puppy pictures I’m afraid.
You can share fish photos.
and live vicariously through our puppy pics. (which should bring @MoHousdon out of the wood work)
Oh I forgot to say, Danny bought me a new Betta fish as a surprise last week! I named him Barry after The Flash, because he can move really fast when he wants to. I think the Cherry Barbs have been put back in their place by the youngster.4 -
Ive been missing for a while... But I need to vent!
When I came to work at this office, I brought a nice glass bowl for heating soup, etc. My co-worker uses it every morning to make oatmeal and leaves it in his office all day... So, about a month ago I brought a second bowl. It is in another office with crusty ramen noodles. I really wanted to use MY ELFING BOWL! While I've been typing this - ramen noodle girl put the bowl in the sink and ran water in it... Did she wash it??? ELF NO!!!
I am really ready to work with people that clean up after themselves!
I leave before either of them -- I swear to DOG, that if those bowls are dirty in the sink tomorrow morning -they will disappear.
I'm just shocked that they can't bring their own bowl. Did they ask permission first? I would feel so weird using someone else's stuff without asking.0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »
I am floored at how well she did that automated voice!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWHikW-iAh4
She can even do Bart Simpson, Millhouse, & Ralph Wiggum lol.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sN_tVRmzA7Y
eBay scam prank
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yds8IYUH7IU
Ariana Grande voice0 -
It's mother's day in the UK. Hubby did manage to make a homemade card with the kids while I was at work (I love such things the more rubbish looking, the better) but it's been an otherwise normal day of mess and running about and trying to get stuff on my business done while not letting the kids to anything too stupid, and I've got a sore throat so feeling sorry for myself. Still craving that illusive time to myself. Some chocolate wouldn't go amiss either!1
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It's mother's day in the UK. Hubby did manage to make a homemade card with the kids while I was at work (I love such things the more rubbish looking, the better) but it's been an otherwise normal day of mess and running about and trying to get stuff on my business done while not letting the kids to anything too stupid, and I've got a sore throat so feeling sorry for myself. Still craving that illusive time to myself. Some chocolate wouldn't go amiss either!
Happy Mother's Day, Anne-Marie!!!1 -
It's mother's day in the UK. Hubby did manage to make a homemade card with the kids while I was at work (I love such things the more rubbish looking, the better) but it's been an otherwise normal day of mess and running about and trying to get stuff on my business done while not letting the kids to anything too stupid, and I've got a sore throat so feeling sorry for myself. Still craving that illusive time to myself. Some chocolate wouldn't go amiss either!
Happy Mother’s Day!!!1 -
Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Confession: After much thought, I have decided I do in fact want kids. (Just one, actually). I've approached the topic with DH, and have let him know I want one. He said he still doesn't, and now we're "too old" to even try. (30&31?? Hardly too old!). I have baby fever bad now. It's the worst case I've ever had. I've had it for like a week or two at a time before, and usually am able to brush it off by thinking of things like having no room, no money, diaper blowouts, sleepless nights, etc.
This bout has lasted 3 freaking months. And still going strong. It doesn't help that I did have a pregnancy scare earlier this month, and it left me feeling more bummed then relieved that it was just a scare. Any pointers on converting DH over to team baby? LOL. I know I need to tell him exactly how I feel. (I have, more or less on several occasions). But I need to set him down, and REALLY tell him. Like now. Just not sure where to lead in to get the best listening ear, ya know? MIL has been suggesting for years that I just tell him I'm going off BC, and leave protection up to him...(How my DH came to be) I'm not sure that's the best course of action , but it is getting highly tempting.
Ugh. So anyways. Any cute puppy pics to lighten this mood? Oh wait, then I'll have PUPPY fever too.
Yeah I feel ya. I’ve come around to having kids. But I don’t know what to suggest with convincing Hubby because Danny is up for it. It’s a dilemma because you don’t want to badger him in case it makes him against it even more. I agree that leaving the protection up to him is a bit unfair, but then again, who said it was all up to you? 😉 have you got any friends with kids? Get them to keep saying how amazing it is.
Would reverse psychology work?
Our kids with friends dont help much, lol. My closest friend seems to have lost all her previous identity after becoming a mom (including thier uh, couples time). Apparently, the most "fun" they've had in 3 years since thier 1st was born is while trying to baby # 2 (on the way), and now fun time is back on the back burner again. We've seen this happen with so many couples. One of his big objections(fears) is I'll lose myself and just become this mom-bot, completly letting myself go, and never being intimate again. I've tried to reassure him that that's not me, I dont think he's convinced.
Our newer set of friends have 2 girls that are just darling, so maybe I can point out all thier little cute moments when they're around. (already started actually).
Reverse phycology would not work with him. As soon as I would say the words "nope don't want em" He'd table that conversation and we would be on along with our childless life forever, lol. Thing is, I want to get one on the ground fairly soonish. Like in the next 1-2 years. Mostly because I don't want to be 60 when they move out, and also the older I get the higher risk of complications. Just not sure how to approach that conversation. Without blurting out " Oh hey, BTW I wanna quit my BC in a few months, Whadya think?" in the middle of dinner.
If he's worried you'll lose yourself, the simple solution is him stepping up. Much easier for mum to feel up for it when she's had a little time for herself!
As for BC, I think you've got to be blatant as being subtle is too close to being sly for such an important thing. Why is it such a shocker that the one who wants to avoid pregnancy should be the one to take responsibility for BC? But really, you want everyone to be happy. Have you told him just how important this is? It would be an utter deal breaker for me - and I told my husband as much!
Well if I do decide to go off the bc, I would most certainly make a clear announcement as such. We decided kids some day when we got married. But we wanted to wait. He eventually morphed into kids never. Talked to too many *kitten* dads telling him what little life ruiners they are, I think.
I've told him up front children were very important to me. But since I'm dealing with a mid marriage mind change with someone who is perfect in all other areas... makes things a bit more complicated... I just hope I can gently nudge him my way without pushing him into something he doesn't want, and resenting me for it. Blegh.
Only sterilisation is 100% BC, just saying
But yeah, I think wiggle your way into a serious conversation over a couple of drinks. That’s how me and Danny have our hardest conversations. Money, having kids, not having kids, worries about having kids, fears of the future, things on our mind. Generally we feel a lot better about everything once we have had a good talk in a pub garden. You speak the truth after a few drinks as well.
I like this plan. But it will be me having all the drinks. hubby doesn't drink. But still, lol. 0 -
It's mother's day in the UK. Hubby did manage to make a homemade card with the kids while I was at work (I love such things the more rubbish looking, the better) but it's been an otherwise normal day of mess and running about and trying to get stuff on my business done while not letting the kids to anything too stupid, and I've got a sore throat so feeling sorry for myself. Still craving that illusive time to myself. Some chocolate wouldn't go amiss either!
Happy Mother's Day!!!0 -
Happy mothers day - late... to all you UK folks!!! I hope you were highly pampered!!!1
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Bowl update...
Last Friday, the sink was FULL of dishes. I was washing a spoon and one of them walked by. I said very snarkily "y'all are EVENTUALLY gonna have to wash your dishes." He repeated EVENTUALLY and laughed. All but a random fork or spoon has been washed ever since.
My bowl, fork and spoon are still in my drawer.6 -
Becky for the win. 1
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Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Confession: After much thought, I have decided I do in fact want kids. (Just one, actually). I've approached the topic with DH, and have let him know I want one. He said he still doesn't, and now we're "too old" to even try. (30&31?? Hardly too old!). I have baby fever bad now. It's the worst case I've ever had. I've had it for like a week or two at a time before, and usually am able to brush it off by thinking of things like having no room, no money, diaper blowouts, sleepless nights, etc.
This bout has lasted 3 freaking months. And still going strong. It doesn't help that I did have a pregnancy scare earlier this month, and it left me feeling more bummed then relieved that it was just a scare. Any pointers on converting DH over to team baby? LOL. I know I need to tell him exactly how I feel. (I have, more or less on several occasions). But I need to set him down, and REALLY tell him. Like now. Just not sure where to lead in to get the best listening ear, ya know? MIL has been suggesting for years that I just tell him I'm going off BC, and leave protection up to him...(How my DH came to be) I'm not sure that's the best course of action , but it is getting highly tempting.
Ugh. So anyways. Any cute puppy pics to lighten this mood? Oh wait, then I'll have PUPPY fever too.
Yeah I feel ya. I’ve come around to having kids. But I don’t know what to suggest with convincing Hubby because Danny is up for it. It’s a dilemma because you don’t want to badger him in case it makes him against it even more. I agree that leaving the protection up to him is a bit unfair, but then again, who said it was all up to you? 😉 have you got any friends with kids? Get them to keep saying how amazing it is.
Would reverse psychology work?
Our kids with friends dont help much, lol. My closest friend seems to have lost all her previous identity after becoming a mom (including thier uh, couples time). Apparently, the most "fun" they've had in 3 years since thier 1st was born is while trying to baby # 2 (on the way), and now fun time is back on the back burner again. We've seen this happen with so many couples. One of his big objections(fears) is I'll lose myself and just become this mom-bot, completly letting myself go, and never being intimate again. I've tried to reassure him that that's not me, I dont think he's convinced.
Our newer set of friends have 2 girls that are just darling, so maybe I can point out all thier little cute moments when they're around. (already started actually).
Reverse phycology would not work with him. As soon as I would say the words "nope don't want em" He'd table that conversation and we would be on along with our childless life forever, lol. Thing is, I want to get one on the ground fairly soonish. Like in the next 1-2 years. Mostly because I don't want to be 60 when they move out, and also the older I get the higher risk of complications. Just not sure how to approach that conversation. Without blurting out " Oh hey, BTW I wanna quit my BC in a few months, Whadya think?" in the middle of dinner.
If he's worried you'll lose yourself, the simple solution is him stepping up. Much easier for mum to feel up for it when she's had a little time for herself!
As for BC, I think you've got to be blatant as being subtle is too close to being sly for such an important thing. Why is it such a shocker that the one who wants to avoid pregnancy should be the one to take responsibility for BC? But really, you want everyone to be happy. Have you told him just how important this is? It would be an utter deal breaker for me - and I told my husband as much!
Well if I do decide to go off the bc, I would most certainly make a clear announcement as such. We decided kids some day when we got married. But we wanted to wait. He eventually morphed into kids never. Talked to too many *kitten* dads telling him what little life ruiners they are, I think.
I've told him up front children were very important to me. But since I'm dealing with a mid marriage mind change with someone who is perfect in all other areas... makes things a bit more complicated... I just hope I can gently nudge him my way without pushing him into something he doesn't want, and resenting me for it. Blegh.
Only sterilisation is 100% BC, just saying
But yeah, I think wiggle your way into a serious conversation over a couple of drinks. That’s how me and Danny have our hardest conversations. Money, having kids, not having kids, worries about having kids, fears of the future, things on our mind. Generally we feel a lot better about everything once we have had a good talk in a pub garden. You speak the truth after a few drinks as well.
I like this plan. But it will be me having all the drinks. hubby doesn't drink. But still, lol.
Awww that’s a shame. I mean, good for him, but it doesn’t help this situation.0 -
Bowl update...
Last Friday, the sink was FULL of dishes. I was washing a spoon and one of them walked by. I said very snarkily "y'all are EVENTUALLY gonna have to wash your dishes." He repeated EVENTUALLY and laughed. All but a random fork or spoon has been washed ever since.
My bowl, fork and spoon are still in my drawer.
I'd hide all the dishes out of spite.2 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »Bowl update...
Last Friday, the sink was FULL of dishes. I was washing a spoon and one of them walked by. I said very snarkily "y'all are EVENTUALLY gonna have to wash your dishes." He repeated EVENTUALLY and laughed. All but a random fork or spoon has been washed ever since.
My bowl, fork and spoon are still in my drawer.
I'd hide all the dishes out of spite.
I like the way you think. Plate in the Bathroom Girl hasn't left her plate there since I carried it to the break room and left it in the sink.1 -
Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Confession: After much thought, I have decided I do in fact want kids. (Just one, actually). I've approached the topic with DH, and have let him know I want one. He said he still doesn't, and now we're "too old" to even try. (30&31?? Hardly too old!). I have baby fever bad now. It's the worst case I've ever had. I've had it for like a week or two at a time before, and usually am able to brush it off by thinking of things like having no room, no money, diaper blowouts, sleepless nights, etc.
This bout has lasted 3 freaking months. And still going strong. It doesn't help that I did have a pregnancy scare earlier this month, and it left me feeling more bummed then relieved that it was just a scare. Any pointers on converting DH over to team baby? LOL. I know I need to tell him exactly how I feel. (I have, more or less on several occasions). But I need to set him down, and REALLY tell him. Like now. Just not sure where to lead in to get the best listening ear, ya know? MIL has been suggesting for years that I just tell him I'm going off BC, and leave protection up to him...(How my DH came to be) I'm not sure that's the best course of action , but it is getting highly tempting.
Ugh. So anyways. Any cute puppy pics to lighten this mood? Oh wait, then I'll have PUPPY fever too.
Yeah I feel ya. I’ve come around to having kids. But I don’t know what to suggest with convincing Hubby because Danny is up for it. It’s a dilemma because you don’t want to badger him in case it makes him against it even more. I agree that leaving the protection up to him is a bit unfair, but then again, who said it was all up to you? 😉 have you got any friends with kids? Get them to keep saying how amazing it is.
Would reverse psychology work?
Our kids with friends dont help much, lol. My closest friend seems to have lost all her previous identity after becoming a mom (including thier uh, couples time). Apparently, the most "fun" they've had in 3 years since thier 1st was born is while trying to baby # 2 (on the way), and now fun time is back on the back burner again. We've seen this happen with so many couples. One of his big objections(fears) is I'll lose myself and just become this mom-bot, completly letting myself go, and never being intimate again. I've tried to reassure him that that's not me, I dont think he's convinced.
Our newer set of friends have 2 girls that are just darling, so maybe I can point out all thier little cute moments when they're around. (already started actually).
Reverse phycology would not work with him. As soon as I would say the words "nope don't want em" He'd table that conversation and we would be on along with our childless life forever, lol. Thing is, I want to get one on the ground fairly soonish. Like in the next 1-2 years. Mostly because I don't want to be 60 when they move out, and also the older I get the higher risk of complications. Just not sure how to approach that conversation. Without blurting out " Oh hey, BTW I wanna quit my BC in a few months, Whadya think?" in the middle of dinner.
If he's worried you'll lose yourself, the simple solution is him stepping up. Much easier for mum to feel up for it when she's had a little time for herself!
As for BC, I think you've got to be blatant as being subtle is too close to being sly for such an important thing. Why is it such a shocker that the one who wants to avoid pregnancy should be the one to take responsibility for BC? But really, you want everyone to be happy. Have you told him just how important this is? It would be an utter deal breaker for me - and I told my husband as much!
Well if I do decide to go off the bc, I would most certainly make a clear announcement as such. We decided kids some day when we got married. But we wanted to wait. He eventually morphed into kids never. Talked to too many *kitten* dads telling him what little life ruiners they are, I think.
I've told him up front children were very important to me. But since I'm dealing with a mid marriage mind change with someone who is perfect in all other areas... makes things a bit more complicated... I just hope I can gently nudge him my way without pushing him into something he doesn't want, and resenting me for it. Blegh.
Only sterilisation is 100% BC, just saying
But yeah, I think wiggle your way into a serious conversation over a couple of drinks. That’s how me and Danny have our hardest conversations. Money, having kids, not having kids, worries about having kids, fears of the future, things on our mind. Generally we feel a lot better about everything once we have had a good talk in a pub garden. You speak the truth after a few drinks as well.
I like this plan. But it will be me having all the drinks. hubby doesn't drink. But still, lol.
Awww that’s a shame. I mean, good for him, but it doesn’t help this situation.
Right?! He's just never liked the taste! I have engaged major hint dropping mode. Friends with kids not helping (again). According to a convo with the husband of our couple friends, She rejected his advances with a knee to the balls (ya know, instead of not tonight honey). Boggled both of our minds. But it opened up the convo for me to make a pro kids argument, lol.1 -
Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Confession: After much thought, I have decided I do in fact want kids. (Just one, actually). I've approached the topic with DH, and have let him know I want one. He said he still doesn't, and now we're "too old" to even try. (30&31?? Hardly too old!). I have baby fever bad now. It's the worst case I've ever had. I've had it for like a week or two at a time before, and usually am able to brush it off by thinking of things like having no room, no money, diaper blowouts, sleepless nights, etc.
This bout has lasted 3 freaking months. And still going strong. It doesn't help that I did have a pregnancy scare earlier this month, and it left me feeling more bummed then relieved that it was just a scare. Any pointers on converting DH over to team baby? LOL. I know I need to tell him exactly how I feel. (I have, more or less on several occasions). But I need to set him down, and REALLY tell him. Like now. Just not sure where to lead in to get the best listening ear, ya know? MIL has been suggesting for years that I just tell him I'm going off BC, and leave protection up to him...(How my DH came to be) I'm not sure that's the best course of action , but it is getting highly tempting.
Ugh. So anyways. Any cute puppy pics to lighten this mood? Oh wait, then I'll have PUPPY fever too.
Yeah I feel ya. I’ve come around to having kids. But I don’t know what to suggest with convincing Hubby because Danny is up for it. It’s a dilemma because you don’t want to badger him in case it makes him against it even more. I agree that leaving the protection up to him is a bit unfair, but then again, who said it was all up to you? 😉 have you got any friends with kids? Get them to keep saying how amazing it is.
Would reverse psychology work?
Our kids with friends dont help much, lol. My closest friend seems to have lost all her previous identity after becoming a mom (including thier uh, couples time). Apparently, the most "fun" they've had in 3 years since thier 1st was born is while trying to baby # 2 (on the way), and now fun time is back on the back burner again. We've seen this happen with so many couples. One of his big objections(fears) is I'll lose myself and just become this mom-bot, completly letting myself go, and never being intimate again. I've tried to reassure him that that's not me, I dont think he's convinced.
Our newer set of friends have 2 girls that are just darling, so maybe I can point out all thier little cute moments when they're around. (already started actually).
Reverse phycology would not work with him. As soon as I would say the words "nope don't want em" He'd table that conversation and we would be on along with our childless life forever, lol. Thing is, I want to get one on the ground fairly soonish. Like in the next 1-2 years. Mostly because I don't want to be 60 when they move out, and also the older I get the higher risk of complications. Just not sure how to approach that conversation. Without blurting out " Oh hey, BTW I wanna quit my BC in a few months, Whadya think?" in the middle of dinner.
If he's worried you'll lose yourself, the simple solution is him stepping up. Much easier for mum to feel up for it when she's had a little time for herself!
As for BC, I think you've got to be blatant as being subtle is too close to being sly for such an important thing. Why is it such a shocker that the one who wants to avoid pregnancy should be the one to take responsibility for BC? But really, you want everyone to be happy. Have you told him just how important this is? It would be an utter deal breaker for me - and I told my husband as much!
Well if I do decide to go off the bc, I would most certainly make a clear announcement as such. We decided kids some day when we got married. But we wanted to wait. He eventually morphed into kids never. Talked to too many *kitten* dads telling him what little life ruiners they are, I think.
I've told him up front children were very important to me. But since I'm dealing with a mid marriage mind change with someone who is perfect in all other areas... makes things a bit more complicated... I just hope I can gently nudge him my way without pushing him into something he doesn't want, and resenting me for it. Blegh.
Only sterilisation is 100% BC, just saying
But yeah, I think wiggle your way into a serious conversation over a couple of drinks. That’s how me and Danny have our hardest conversations. Money, having kids, not having kids, worries about having kids, fears of the future, things on our mind. Generally we feel a lot better about everything once we have had a good talk in a pub garden. You speak the truth after a few drinks as well.
I like this plan. But it will be me having all the drinks. hubby doesn't drink. But still, lol.
Awww that’s a shame. I mean, good for him, but it doesn’t help this situation.
Right?! He's just never liked the taste! I have engaged major hint dropping mode. Friends with kids not helping (again). According to a convo with the husband of our couple friends, She rejected his advances with a knee to the balls (ya know, instead of not tonight honey). Boggled both of our minds. But it opened up the convo for me to make a pro kids argument, lol.
I hope he comes around for your sake. And also because kids are so cool and worth it. I honestly don't know what I would have done without my 25 yo daughter the weekend of my surgery1 -
melissafeagins wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »Confession: After much thought, I have decided I do in fact want kids. (Just one, actually). I've approached the topic with DH, and have let him know I want one. He said he still doesn't, and now we're "too old" to even try. (30&31?? Hardly too old!). I have baby fever bad now. It's the worst case I've ever had. I've had it for like a week or two at a time before, and usually am able to brush it off by thinking of things like having no room, no money, diaper blowouts, sleepless nights, etc.
This bout has lasted 3 freaking months. And still going strong. It doesn't help that I did have a pregnancy scare earlier this month, and it left me feeling more bummed then relieved that it was just a scare. Any pointers on converting DH over to team baby? LOL. I know I need to tell him exactly how I feel. (I have, more or less on several occasions). But I need to set him down, and REALLY tell him. Like now. Just not sure where to lead in to get the best listening ear, ya know? MIL has been suggesting for years that I just tell him I'm going off BC, and leave protection up to him...(How my DH came to be) I'm not sure that's the best course of action , but it is getting highly tempting.
Ugh. So anyways. Any cute puppy pics to lighten this mood? Oh wait, then I'll have PUPPY fever too.
Yeah I feel ya. I’ve come around to having kids. But I don’t know what to suggest with convincing Hubby because Danny is up for it. It’s a dilemma because you don’t want to badger him in case it makes him against it even more. I agree that leaving the protection up to him is a bit unfair, but then again, who said it was all up to you? 😉 have you got any friends with kids? Get them to keep saying how amazing it is.
Would reverse psychology work?
Our kids with friends dont help much, lol. My closest friend seems to have lost all her previous identity after becoming a mom (including thier uh, couples time). Apparently, the most "fun" they've had in 3 years since thier 1st was born is while trying to baby # 2 (on the way), and now fun time is back on the back burner again. We've seen this happen with so many couples. One of his big objections(fears) is I'll lose myself and just become this mom-bot, completly letting myself go, and never being intimate again. I've tried to reassure him that that's not me, I dont think he's convinced.
Our newer set of friends have 2 girls that are just darling, so maybe I can point out all thier little cute moments when they're around. (already started actually).
Reverse phycology would not work with him. As soon as I would say the words "nope don't want em" He'd table that conversation and we would be on along with our childless life forever, lol. Thing is, I want to get one on the ground fairly soonish. Like in the next 1-2 years. Mostly because I don't want to be 60 when they move out, and also the older I get the higher risk of complications. Just not sure how to approach that conversation. Without blurting out " Oh hey, BTW I wanna quit my BC in a few months, Whadya think?" in the middle of dinner.
If he's worried you'll lose yourself, the simple solution is him stepping up. Much easier for mum to feel up for it when she's had a little time for herself!
As for BC, I think you've got to be blatant as being subtle is too close to being sly for such an important thing. Why is it such a shocker that the one who wants to avoid pregnancy should be the one to take responsibility for BC? But really, you want everyone to be happy. Have you told him just how important this is? It would be an utter deal breaker for me - and I told my husband as much!
Well if I do decide to go off the bc, I would most certainly make a clear announcement as such. We decided kids some day when we got married. But we wanted to wait. He eventually morphed into kids never. Talked to too many *kitten* dads telling him what little life ruiners they are, I think.
I've told him up front children were very important to me. But since I'm dealing with a mid marriage mind change with someone who is perfect in all other areas... makes things a bit more complicated... I just hope I can gently nudge him my way without pushing him into something he doesn't want, and resenting me for it. Blegh.
Only sterilisation is 100% BC, just saying
But yeah, I think wiggle your way into a serious conversation over a couple of drinks. That’s how me and Danny have our hardest conversations. Money, having kids, not having kids, worries about having kids, fears of the future, things on our mind. Generally we feel a lot better about everything once we have had a good talk in a pub garden. You speak the truth after a few drinks as well.
I like this plan. But it will be me having all the drinks. hubby doesn't drink. But still, lol.
Awww that’s a shame. I mean, good for him, but it doesn’t help this situation.
Right?! He's just never liked the taste! I have engaged major hint dropping mode. Friends with kids not helping (again). According to a convo with the husband of our couple friends, She rejected his advances with a knee to the balls (ya know, instead of not tonight honey). Boggled both of our minds. But it opened up the convo for me to make a pro kids argument, lol.
I hope he comes around for your sake. And also because kids are so cool and worth it. I honestly don't know what I would have done without my 25 yo daughter the weekend of my surgery
Thank you. And me too. It seems like all the men he talks to he gets examples of how thier wives changed into different people(not for the better), they had to sell all thier fun stuff, they can't go out anymore, or do anything, they don't get "any" ever unless it's a special occaision, and thier wives are always crabby and have let themselves go. If this was the example I always got, I wouldn't want any kids either!
I will add "we will need them to take care of us later on down the road" to my arsenal of arguments!
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