Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

Crafty_camper123 wrote: »

melissafeagins wrote: »

Crafty_camper123 wrote: »

Lois_1989 wrote: »

Crafty_camper123 wrote: »

Lois_1989 wrote: »

Crafty_camper123 wrote: »

spamarie wrote: »

Crafty_camper123 wrote: »

Lois_1989 wrote: »

Crafty_camper123 wrote: »

Confession: After much thought, I have decided I do in fact want kids. (Just one, actually). I've approached the topic with DH, and have let him know I want one. He said he still doesn't, and now we're "too old" to even try. (30&31?? Hardly too old!). I have baby fever bad now. It's the worst case I've ever had. I've had it for like a week or two at a time before, and usually am able to brush it off by thinking of things like having no room, no money, diaper blowouts, sleepless nights, etc.

This bout has lasted 3 freaking months. And still going strong. It doesn't help that I did have a pregnancy scare earlier this month, and it left me feeling more bummed then relieved that it was just a scare. Any pointers on converting DH over to team baby? LOL. I know I need to tell him exactly how I feel. (I have, more or less on several occasions). But I need to set him down, and REALLY tell him. Like now. Just not sure where to lead in to get the best listening ear, ya know? MIL has been suggesting for years that I just tell him I'm going off BC, and leave protection up to him...(How my DH came to be) I'm not sure that's the best course of action , but it is getting highly tempting.

Ugh. So anyways. Any cute puppy pics to lighten this mood? Oh wait, then I'll have PUPPY fever too.

Yeah I feel ya. I’ve come around to having kids. But I don’t know what to suggest with convincing Hubby because Danny is up for it. It’s a dilemma because you don’t want to badger him in case it makes him against it even more. I agree that leaving the protection up to him is a bit unfair, but then again, who said it was all up to you? 😉 have you got any friends with kids? Get them to keep saying how amazing it is.
Would reverse psychology work?

Our kids with friends dont help much, lol. My closest friend seems to have lost all her previous identity after becoming a mom (including thier uh, couples time). Apparently, the most "fun" they've had in 3 years since thier 1st was born is while trying to baby # 2 (on the way), and now fun time is back on the back burner again. We've seen this happen with so many couples. One of his big objections(fears) is I'll lose myself and just become this mom-bot, completly letting myself go, and never being intimate again. I've tried to reassure him that that's not me, I dont think he's convinced.

Our newer set of friends have 2 girls that are just darling, so maybe I can point out all thier little cute moments when they're around. (already started actually).

Reverse phycology would not work with him. As soon as I would say the words "nope don't want em" He'd table that conversation and we would be on along with our childless life forever, lol. Thing is, I want to get one on the ground fairly soonish. Like in the next 1-2 years. Mostly because I don't want to be 60 when they move out, and also the older I get the higher risk of complications. Just not sure how to approach that conversation. Without blurting out " Oh hey, BTW I wanna quit my BC in a few months, Whadya think?" in the middle of dinner.

If he's worried you'll lose yourself, the simple solution is him stepping up. Much easier for mum to feel up for it when she's had a little time for herself!

As for BC, I think you've got to be blatant as being subtle is too close to being sly for such an important thing. Why is it such a shocker that the one who wants to avoid pregnancy should be the one to take responsibility for BC? But really, you want everyone to be happy. Have you told him just how important this is? It would be an utter deal breaker for me - and I told my husband as much!

Well if I do decide to go off the bc, I would most certainly make a clear announcement as such. We decided kids some day when we got married. But we wanted to wait. He eventually morphed into kids never. Talked to too many *kitten* dads telling him what little life ruiners they are, I think.

I've told him up front children were very important to me. But since I'm dealing with a mid marriage mind change with someone who is perfect in all other areas... makes things a bit more complicated... I just hope I can gently nudge him my way without pushing him into something he doesn't want, and resenting me for it. Blegh.

Only sterilisation is 100% BC, just saying

But yeah, I think wiggle your way into a serious conversation over a couple of drinks. That’s how me and Danny have our hardest conversations. Money, having kids, not having kids, worries about having kids, fears of the future, things on our mind. Generally we feel a lot better about everything once we have had a good talk in a pub garden. You speak the truth after a few drinks as well.

I like this plan. But it will be me having all the drinks. hubby doesn't drink. But still, lol.

Awww that’s a shame. I mean, good for him, but it doesn’t help this situation.

Right?! He's just never liked the taste! I have engaged major hint dropping mode. Friends with kids not helping (again). According to a convo with the husband of our couple friends, She rejected his advances with a knee to the balls (ya know, instead of not tonight honey). Boggled both of our minds. But it opened up the convo for me to make a pro kids argument, lol.

I hope he comes around for your sake. And also because kids are so cool and worth it. I honestly don't know what I would have done without my 25 yo daughter the weekend of my surgery

Thank you. And me too. It seems like all the men he talks to he gets examples of how thier wives changed into different people(not for the better), they had to sell all thier fun stuff, they can't go out anymore, or do anything, they don't get "any" ever unless it's a special occaision, and thier wives are always crabby and have let themselves go. If this was the example I always got, I wouldn't want any kids either!

I will add "we will need them to take care of us later on down the road" to my arsenal of arguments!

Crafty_camper123 wrote: »

spamarie wrote: »

Just found out today the boy is having his grommets operation and possible adenoids removal next Wednesday! There was a cancellation and this drops right during the Easter holidays so I jumped at the chance. Bit shocked, but rather get it over and done with before he starts school at the end of the month. Dreading the general anaesthetic, but distracting myself by organising fun activities to do while he recovers. So much play dough equipment...

Hope all goes well for your boy!

And as to your rant: RIGHT?!?!

spamarie wrote: »

I hope it gets better for you soon Nicole.

So maybe I am an awful person, but to all those dad friends who just moan and whinge about how they have no fun any more and their whole lives have changed, I am judging their dad and husband skills majorly. Of course your life is going to change, kids are a massive upheaval, but you can change too to adapt and enjoy. Sure my husband gets less time to build robots than he did before, but he gets more time to play with the kids which he loves.

Also, I am so rolling my eyes at any husband who complains the wife has let herself go and that he isn't getting any. She will KNOW he feels that way even if he hasn't said it to her, and that will not help her feel sexy. And chances are she has even less time to herself than he does, so if he expects her to 'look after' herself, he needs to step up and give her the opportunity before complaining to his childless mates.

Your husband will step up, and he will be fine. And you'll probably have less sex for a while, but your relationship is strong enough to ride through that, you'll be ok.

Anyway, rant over. Tldr: unimpressed at man who is shocked life changing event changes his life.

Lois_1989 wrote: »

I’m more happy that my run route made the shape of a snail than I am about the fact I ran. Bahahaha