The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Over 5 months alcohol free!! Loving life, working out, meditating, writing poetry, working hard, no friends! Lol I’m a tad bit antisocial you could say, in that I am a natural loner. I just had to finally allow myself to be comfortable with it. Family is close and I am plenty personable to where I get my “social fill” with new people and friendly acquaintances. I’ve gotten back to my spirituality and allowed my magic to flow. Good to see you all here, fighting the good fight. How great to have support in doing what’s best!
Congrats and welcome! I'm a little over 4 months AF here, since Jan 1. I had to laugh when I read your post because it sounds like me. I'm all about the working out and meditating now, but I'm hanging out solo. I have my dog and that's really all I need. I'm finding happiness in solitude and knowing myself completely without numbing my experiences through alcohol.9 -
Hello all,RubyRed for some reason I've been resenting not being able to drink
why? It was really bad last night and I did wake up glad I didn't but I hate that ugly feeling,wonder why I'm so strong sometimes and don't even think about drinking yet others I'm consumed by that yearn? Just gotta shake it off cuz that kinda thinking leads me to drinking,sorry this post was all about me,just sick of it and feeling vulnerable, everyone is doing well and I'm happy for that! Have a great AF day all 
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Hello all,RubyRed for some reason I've been resenting not being able to drink why? It was really bad last night and I did wake up glad I didn't but I hate that ugly feeling,wonder why I'm so strong sometimes and don't even think about drinking yet others I'm consumed by that yearn? Just gotta shake it off cuz that kinda thinking leads me to drinking,sorry this post was all about me,just sick of it and feeling vulnerable, everyone is doing well and I'm happy for that! Have a great AF day all
I felt the same way (resentful) when I quit, and, now and then, I have the same feeling fortunately a lot less. Luckily there is also part of you that wants to stay sober, its obvious since you didn't talk yourself into picking up. Just want to "not drink" more than you want to drink :-).
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Day 32 ~ Hey @whitpauly, had that hit me a bit yesterday evening. Went to my parents house to visit for a bit, and my father pours up his usual Scotch Rocks, and I'm thinking, "Yeah, what would it hurt to have one with my pops? Ain't going to have that many more opportunities." I was a bit irritable. I hate being grumpy dude... Man, just the smell of whiskey. I didn't though. Drank my bottle of water, which is all I drink now, except for my pot of coffee in the morning. Yes, I said "pot"... I'm a professional folks. Do not try this at home!
Gearing up for our trip this Saturday to Bahama House... Taking a stove, washer, and dryer with us. The previous owners had the same idea we did, gutted the kitchen, then decided on Australia instead, and we buy the house, sans kitchen. So, we've been doing all our cooking on a small butane burner and a microwave. Odd thing is, everyone comes to our house for dinner, so we've entertained a dozen people for dinner, cooking on a, you guessed it, single butane burner... fortunately, the wife is AMAZING, and very understanding, and tolerates all the madness quite well, which explains how she put up with me for so many years.
Still having dreams about drinking... about every third night. Odd, you think I'd dream as much about Diet Mtn Dew, seeing as how I drank more of that than I did bourbon. Funny thing, the drink is always the same in the dream. Bourbon and coke. And every time, I take one sip, and say, great, back to day one, then wake up... It's all good though, because once I realize that I was just dreaming and that I didn't REALLY blow it, I'm all like, "Aaaahhhhh" and at peace with the world, and fall back asleep.
Thanks for letting me ramble. Probably won't see you guys for a week. Depends on if I get to a wifi hot-spot on the island. No internet at the house yet, and data for the phone is stupid expensive... y'all stay strong. You got this! Kick it in the nards! See y'all on the 22nd...11 -
Hello all,RubyRed for some reason I've been resenting not being able to drink why? It was really bad last night and I did wake up glad I didn't but I hate that ugly feeling,wonder why I'm so strong sometimes and don't even think about drinking yet others I'm consumed by that yearn? Just gotta shake it off cuz that kinda thinking leads me to drinking,sorry this post was all about me,just sick of it and feeling vulnerable, everyone is doing well and I'm happy for that! Have a great AF day all
NICE JOB!!!!!!
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Today I have been working on perspective.
I am trying to develop coping skills and this is the one I am working on. Arming my tool belt with the tools to keep be sober!!
This is a hard skill -- and just when I think I've gotten to that good point, a pool of anxiety will wash over me and linger for hours, sometimes a day, where I will question if i was ever seeing the situation correctly in the first place.
Please share how you're doing.5 -
SweatsOnSunday wrote: »Today I have been working on perspective.
I am trying to develop coping skills and this is the one I am working on. Arming my tool belt with the tools to keep be sober!!
This is a hard skill -- and just when I think I've gotten to that good point, a pool of anxiety will wash over me and linger for hours, sometimes a day, where I will question if i was ever seeing the situation correctly in the first place.
Please share how you're doing.
This is exactly how I am as well. I have days that I think I am doing well, and all of a sudden, I am having a conversation and I am in tears. I had a rough night last night and am really struggling with my relationship with my husband. I am afraid it is going to end, and I also worry that it is just my anxiety taking over that is leading me to think that way. I really wanted a drink last night because I was sad, but I reminded myself that it wouldn’t make me less sad and would make things worse.
I have had some of those same dreams about drinking , but I am thankful that they were just dreams. Today is day 60 AF.
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Hello all,RubyRed for some reason I've been resenting not being able to drink why? It was really bad last night and I did wake up glad I didn't but I hate that ugly feeling,wonder why I'm so strong sometimes and don't even think about drinking yet others I'm consumed by that yearn? Just gotta shake it off cuz that kinda thinking leads me to drinking,sorry this post was all about me,just sick of it and feeling vulnerable, everyone is doing well and I'm happy for that! Have a great AF day all
I understand totally. And that’s why we are all here. Because when we type our thoughts, it helps us and others. You are not the only one vulnerable. I am always yearning for it.... sending you big hugs. We are in it through thick and thin. Xo5 -
Day 14. Woohoo! No dreams about alcohol but weird dreams about being back with my ex whom I divorced almost 30 years ago. I think he symbolizes the booze. I wake up and go “Whew!”10
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After a bit of a "hiatus" I'm back. My motivating factor was a relative who had recently achieved a milestone high number of days of sobriety. Perhaps the same genetics that caused my problem can aid in the solution...Pardon me blaming genetics for anything but it's my nature (rather than nurture, LOL). Best wishes to all!!7
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Day 14. Woohoo! No dreams about alcohol but weird dreams about being back with my ex whom I divorced almost 30 years ago. I think he symbolizes the booze. I wake up and go “Whew!”
Dreams are the weirdest things... people and places "change" in my dreams. I dreamed (dreamt?) one time I was cheating on my wife, with the 19 year old version of my wife, which is how old she was when we got married, so, I was rationalizing it in my dream as "But we're married, sooooo...."
@bigmanatee Welcome back! Nurture that nature and you got it whipped!
@RubyRed427 Typing our thoughts... Exactly! I think it's the anonymous nature of a forum that allows us to be so open and honest about our struggles. I only have one friend that I can be completely honest with, can say anything and everything on my mind, without any judgement. The conversations get weird, to say the least. Stop and really think on it. How many of us have a friend like that, that you can converse in stream of thought with, without having to filter. It's refreshing... and awkward at times. I keep waiting on the old, "You're a total fruitloop!" from them, and even ask at times, and they're like, "Nope! It's all good!"
Day 33 ~ Down over 20 pounds since quitting. Trimmed the beard waaaaay back. Haven't seen that face in a while. Wife was saying it made me look older than I am anyways... Getting on the cruise ship tomorrow, and I always liked to lounge around with a bucket of beers. Guess I'll just hit karaoke instead. Hmph, karaoke sober.... this should be interesting.
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11 weeks AF today...I am still battling some occasional demons, but they are not as strong or formidable as before. In fact the demons give up much faster than before as well.
@donimfp - congrats on 14 days - I think the hardest part is behind you now!
@bigmanatee - Glad you made it back. It doesn't matter where the blame lies. It matters what your future plans are. I am looking forward to some nurture vs. nature posts :-)10 -
Day 28 AF. A few weeks ago on Friday I was worried that I wouldn't be able to go the weekend without alcohol, now I know I'll be able to and not even give it much thought. My husband drank a lot on Wednesday night. He called in sick yesterday and slept all day, and he still hasn't gone to work today. I definitely don't miss those days. I don't even want to think about all the days I've wasted with hangovers. Times I could have taken my kids to the park or the pool in the summer and I didn't because I was lazy and felt like crap. I don't have much in common with my husband, and drinking was one thing we would do together. I know I won't change his mind about drinking so I'm not going to bother and he won't get me to drink again. I guess when we're grilling this summer, he can keep drinking his beer and I'll have some iced tea.9
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Wow! Lots of posts I've missed but I've been going through them and posting my "likes" and "hugs". Its great to hear so many of you grabbing the bull by the horns and taking him down!
Life and work have been hectic lately but it's a good thang! I realized this morning that I missed posting my 12 week anniversary date. Alcohol hasn't been on my mind because I've been too busy to think about it. But you know what? I wouldn't have been able to accomplish my tasks if I had been drinking...and I'm proud of myself. It wasn't that long ago I was in a liquor store parking lot praying for ignorance (so I could talk myself into drinking). Sadness and hopelessness are great excuses (in my book) to drink. But those feelings are fleeting. If I had let them win, I wouldn't have felt the joy, pride and hope that were right around the corner.
12 weeks and two days AF. Feeling great! Hugs and positive vibes to all!9 -
Hello everyone! I have been lurking for a couple days now, thought I would introduce myself...
My alcohol story isn't all that interesting, however, I just decided after trying a "no drink November" on my own fruition to do it again, but this time as a lifestyle change. I recall the almost immediate euphoric feeling not drinking during that month - more energy, less anxious, more productive etc... My tolerance got pretty high for wine (my poison of choice) for a petite framed person like myself and I gained somewhere between 10-12lbs in a year! I've realized my triggers when it comes to wanting a nice glass of wine, or two, or a bottle (yikes). I love vineyards and wine culture summer time, so I hope I can stay strong.
I listen to "The Naked Mind" podcasts with Annie Grace and am a huge fan!! I'm currently on day 26 being AF. I've already lost 6lbs and my energy is like "woah! I could get use to this" kind of deal. I didn't realize how instantaneous I could feel a difference in my body, but it's amazing... I can only imagine how 3 months feels and then 6 months and then a year.
I look forward to this journey and reading all of yours and of course interacting. Happy Friday everyone!!15 -
SweatsOnSunday wrote: »Today I have been working on perspective.
I am trying to develop coping skills and this is the one I am working on. Arming my tool belt with the tools to keep be sober!!
This is a hard skill -- and just when I think I've gotten to that good point, a pool of anxiety will wash over me and linger for hours, sometimes a day, where I will question if i was ever seeing the situation correctly in the first place.
Please share how you're doing.
Unlike most, my anxiety is minimal. THANK GOODNESS. However, I am still irritable. I really thought this would have passed by now. I snapped at my husband again last night. But, in my defense, he woke me up to tell me something silly... Really? please just let me sleep! I am sure he woke me up because HE was drinking and thought this was of the utmost importance.
I am doing well with Perspective at work. Unbelievably well - to he point that works stress is almost non existent.
Today is 18 days and I feel great! Unlike @kelagurl - energy has gone the other way. Weight loss has remained constant - no real change there.10 -
Ugh,lost a long post! You know if you accidentally turn your phone sideways it bumps you off a thread? Anyways just wanted to say everyone is doing well BuffMom just wanted to say I could relate to feeling like me and hubs had nothing in common anymore when I quit drinking daily,were still working on doing things together that are totally different from the drinkin days! BTW I'm always jealous of people who feel great when they quit,I always feel worse on/off what's up with that? Anyways wishes for a fabulous AF day! 8
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@whitpauly hang in there. Your body is in healing mode. Step up water and lemon juice for the liver etc. and give yourself especially enough B12 and Folic Acid for repair, too.6
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@kelagurl Welcome! I am also a fan of Annie Grace. I did the Alcohol Experiment thru her website for a sober October. I struggled, but made it thru the 30 days. Then I went crazy with the holidays and overindulged in red wine! I decided to go AF again in January and I've not had a drop since. Annie's books are also great, I highly recommend them.
@whitpauly and @beka3695 I also felt like crap for a long time. I couldn't understand why so many people were talking about how fantastic they felt only a few days AF. In fact, I'm pretty sure I was worse for weeks. I guess my body had a lot of healing to do. Stay strong! You will get to the point where it's not so bad and eventually to a place where you feel so much better for being AF. I can't imagine ever going back and trying to do this again, that's why I've just stayed AF instead of trying to go back to moderation.
Wishing everyone a beautiful AF weekend! :flowerforyou:6 -
Tired,foggy headed, anxious,kinda depressed,scatterbrained,etc and it's been over 2 months,just bugs me5 -
@whitpauly
@Beka3695 I COMPLETELY understand what you're feeling! I will be hitting 3 months AF in 4 days (April 16). I've written about the exact same things. I felt depressed, irritable, lazy and foggy. I had dishes stacking up and I had no motivation to do my regular day to day chores, let alone work. I don't think there's a magic number because it's going to be different for every individual. But I can tell you this week has been different for me. I'm sleeping better and I have motivation to get things done. I'm in a better frame of mind and even caught myself whistling in the shower. (It took me a second to realize that noise was me and not some crazy bird outside.) It's a process and I realize I may not feel like this tomorrow, so I'll take it and be grateful for today. I'm making it a point to celebrate the small victories. Everyone who fights this demon is AMAZING for the decisions you are making right now. Hang in there. This too shall pass. 8 -
I guess when we're grilling this summer, he can keep drinking his beer and I'll have some iced tea.
@BuffMom84 - While I am a HUGE fan of iced tea, when summer rolls around - Arnold Palmer's are my AF drink of choice when golfing, BBQing, anything outdoors. Simply put they are 1/2 iced tea and 1/2 lemonade. Worth a try...
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Hi!! I am 29yo who used to drink a lot. I had a lot of fun in my days. Sober for 10 months and hardly even think about alcohol anymore! Super blessed. I am a mom of two kids. Work full time. Need to find some fun for myself to enjoy if I ever have moments of free time- my daughter recommended “exercise”.. she’s so smart 😊15
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Welcome everybody new! Day 29 today.. Just checking in. Hope everyone has a great AF weekend!9
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Hi Everyone: I'm exhausted & too pooped to comment but want to say HELLO...and happy sober weekend to all...the like, hug buttons etc are all messed up...I hit like & it gave 4 likes, hit hug and it gave 2 … oh well, at least they're registering!!7
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@Ed_Zilla, thanks for the encouragement but at 14 days I feel like one of those newborn colts on very wobbly legs. I hardly dare hope that the hardest part is behind me. Right now the memory of the sleepless night from hell followed by a long-distance drive (all thanks to alcohol) two weeks ago is keeping me motivated. I just have to remember that the “I’ve recalibrated now and can moderate now” fantasy that has derailed me too many times is a big fat lie. I believe that will be the hardest part because I’ve never faced that liar down before.
@whitpauly, I wouldn’t presume to offer you advice because I’ve never made it 2 months. However, I think if I did make it that long and felt as bad as you are feeling I’d ask my compassionate nurse practitioner or doctor what the hell was going on. Maybe there’s a small adjustment that would help you feel as good as you deserve to feel! You’re awesome for hanging in there but white-knuckling it has got to be exhausting. Sending positive vibes your way.
Have a great weekend everyone!!7 -
Tired,foggy headed, anxious,kinda depressed,scatterbrained,etc and it's been over 2 months,just bugs me
And that's how I feel the day AFTER I drink. The last bout of all those feelings really threw me for a loop. I had a long drive starting on a predawn Sunday morning to contemplate it all, which led to my own discovery that drinking, which I do to get rid of my anxiety, leads to more anxiety the next day.3 -
GOOD MORNING!! The morning seems to be off to a fine start weather-wise. There are no visible clouds in my field of vision & I'm hoping it will stay that way today even though I'll be inside working this aft, I can enjoy the a.m. cloud free hopefully!!
I'm now on the countdown to move day. I had a friend install my livingroom blinds yesterday. There is a piece missing that the wand attaches to so they can`t be opened & closed and the 2nd set for the bedroom was only shipped yesterday...same company, but one set was made in Texas and the other California...and now I'm attempting to contact the company to get the missing piece shipped...of course no one answers the phone so I have to leave a message with the promise of prompt attention in a day or two and the chat line is unsupported at the moment so I had to leave a message there also) SO annoying...I get annoyed easily sometimes. Cause in the grand scheme of things, "it doesn't make a hill-of-beans difference does it now Lorraine?" Oh, the life of a ~Drama Queen~
Sometimes I think the "victim mentality" in me rears it's ugly head when things don't go exactly as I'd like. My dialogue is, "Figures! I get the defective blinds and I order from the company that can't ship my order together " Like there is some big fat universal conspiracy to TICK ME OFF!!
Last week I had to send back the microwave I ordered because they shipped me the wrong one, which I would have likely kept if the control panel on the front didn't fall off when I took it out of the damaged box and there weren't a few significant dents in it. When I called the company & said it's being returned, they told me they were out of that particular one so they are refunding me. But nothing is easy because there was no return label in the box (likely because it had already been returned once) so I had to get the company to email one to me and then get a friend to print it off because I gave my printer to my daughter awhile back when I moved into this super small space and when she printed it off, the upc code didn`t print...SO I sent it to a friend to print...
ON top of it all, I had to pay for the postage to send it back (they will refund that also, but that`s not the point, cause I am "the victim" lol) It's interesting how such an insignificant event can trigger some of my issues such as mistrust. I'm somewhat leery about ordering online anyway because of this exact scenario, but refuse to limit myself due to a couple of not so great experiences. I ended up going to a local store to get a microwave & thought I should have done that to begin with...What began with my online purchase of both the blinds & the microwave being a "time saver" has actually ended up being a time waster AND just general frustration....
Thanks for listening to my boring blurb....but I feel unloaded now LOL
Can anyone relate to this type of situation??
PS I am back in therapy so I'm certain all these "issues" will get sorted out in no time flat … hmmmm???? Here's hoping!!8 -
@lorrainequiche59 Definitely been there! It's a very relatable situation3
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