The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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@lorrainequiche59 I rarely buy anything online, for all of those reasons. Of course, I stopped buying online before the internet, when it was catalog/telephone/mail ordering. But everything you are saying now rings true for how it was then.
Well, wait, that's not true. I do order my Nespresso.
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I don't know how many days I've gone without for this last stretch. 10? 11? My longest stretch ever was over a year. In 2018, I went 100+ days.
Last Wed, I was out with work friends celebrating one's return to the office. I drank water. No eyebrows were raised and no one said a word, other than one just asking, "You're having water?" And that was it.
I'm visiting friends this weekend. I've been here since Friday. Both Fri and last night, the topic of wine came up, as in, "Should we open up some wine?" We even ended up at the store on Friday, browsing the aisles. After 10 minutes, looking at various bottles, discussing roses and sauvignon blancs and hearty reds, I just said, "I'm not really in the mood for it, so pick whatever you want." And that was it.
I'm sharing these stories for a few reasons. You're not going to be pressured to drink if you're around the right people. So to all those who are trying to forge their paths but feeling they need to hide that they are not drinking -- there is no explaining that needs to be done. You just don't feel like one tonight. End of story.
And for me, my head seems more clear lately. Not that I am not feeling some anxiety -- I am. Big time. Some days, and nights, much worse than others. But I feel a lot better in the morning. And I can name the anxiety when I'm sober, and quickly tell myself that what I am stressing about is not logical, is not a big deal, and probably will not happen anyway. I cannot do that when I'm drunk.
So that's where I am at today. Am I going to go without alcohol for the rest of my life? Probably not. Am I going to try to go without today? Yes. I am feeling pretty confident that I can handle today.11 -
There are other reasons people can be foggy brained etc. after quitting drinking. Stress etc. I have had the everlasting stress of grief over deaths and stress with my job since I quit drinking, ugh. The better I eat, the better I feel, however. Consider if dairy is a problem, gluten etc. Your body changes. What works now may not keep working. We have a lot of additives, pollution, things wrapped and stored in toxic plastic....... My system has been so messed up that I take fish oil daily, a probiotic--allergen free and now have purchased a multi that will go with my way of eating. These are 3 supplements that I am considering doing for life.If your sleep is messed up consider how to destress. I also take Sam-e and Lemon Balm to help. I take digestive enzymes, HCL for digestion and other STUFF, lol. I do not drink liquids after dinner so I don't get up at night.. Make sure you have adequate water and are not working against yourself with too much caffeine. A quart or two in the morning hours helps a lot. I know that when I heard that I said, "Say What????", but it works well. I have read a few books that are inspiring right now, "The Thyroid Connection" by Dr. Amy Meyers and "The Metabolism Plan" by Lyn-Genet Recitas. Sometimes the traditional, conventional medical Dr.'s do not have all the answers, but keep trying and find Dr.s etc. who will work with your goals. If you have PTSD or another medical condition, there will be precautions that you will need to consider. I still have the nightmares with PTSD, so maybe back to counseling....... Keep up the fight everyone. It is worth it.
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Today will be day 31. Yesterday I did a difficult 7 mile hike with 25 lbs of child on my back. Normally I would celebrate this with indulgent food and cocktails; however, I stuck with just the burger last night and water. Of course I had a paradoxical increase on the scale this morning, but it doesn't bother me the way it used to.. Chocked it up to retaining water for muscle repair.. And I can do another long walk today without a problem because I'm not nursing a mild hangover.. While I still think about not wanting to be done with it forever, I'm also able to focus on the positive changes that counteract those thoughts.. As I mentioned a while ago when I joined the thread, alcohol was my way of quelling anger that I couldn't address directly.. The kind of anger that's not worth asserting because it won't change anything and it's usually with people that don't matter and/or have no capacity for self refIection. I also deal with anger with intense exercise.. Like that wolf proverb- there are 2 fighting within you and the one that wins is the one you feed. So I'm trying to feed the exercise one.. There has been a myriad of events over the past 10 yrs of my life that really made me lose confidence in certain aspects of myself and somewhere along the way I lost the no nonsense person who plowed through any difficult goal like a boss.. So I'm trying to find that person again.. Considering some lofty fitness goals at the moment to prove to myself she's still alive and well.. I'll write an update on that if/when I make that commitment.. And just to support those who still struggle with anxiety/depression/ feeling like emotional crap.. I still have that too.. It's just getting lesser over time- especially as I accomplish goals.. Hope you all had a wonderful weekend!8
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Hello everyone. I've been lurking here for a while wondering if I'd fit in with the sober crowd. I've been AF for 25 days now, and I can't believe I've gone that long without a drink! Last time I went that long without drinking was when I had my daughter almost 6 years ago. I've been drinking almost half my life (that sounds weird to say). I drank pretty heavily for a few years up until a year and a half ago. Last year I still drank regularly, but only on the weekends. Nothing specific happened to me last month but I figured enough is enough and I decided to try 30 days without alcohol and I'm almost there already! Once the 30 days is up I'm going to keep going because I'm just tired of alcohol and all the problems it causes and I just don't want to drink at all anymore.
I'm going through a lot in my life now and I originally thought, "this is the worst time to stop drinking!" But really, it's been the best time to stop drinking. I have a husband who still drinks. He cut down some himself in the past year but he has no plans to stop drinking completely and is not supportive of me not drinking. People who don't drink are "squares" to him. So I'm alone in this but I don't really care. I'm doing it for myself!
I am so proud of you and the choices that you have made for yourself. I do understand as I use to drink more than I should with my hubby and I knew I had to make changes for myself. It was difficult as things were changing and I am sure he missed his drinking buddy and also made him think about his own drinking. It is a lot easier when we could enable each other.
I am thankful we have the support from everyone here! Great job!7 -
Over 5 months alcohol free!! Loving life, working out, meditating, writing poetry, working hard, no friends! Lol I’m a tad bit antisocial you could say, in that I am a natural loner. I just had to finally allow myself to be comfortable with it. Family is close and I am plenty personable to where I get my “social fill” with new people and friendly acquaintances. I’ve gotten back to my spirituality and allowed my magic to flow. Good to see you all here, fighting the good fight. How great to have support in doing what’s best!
Awesome job!!3 -
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I drank... 9 -
@VeggieGirlforLife thanks for the warm welcome. I also did the same thing during the holidays... went straight back to drinking.
I’ll be honest, I say my story isn’t interesting, but I feel like I’d want to write a novel.
What made me realize something had to change and wine wasn’t making things better (work stress, I have a high pressure sales job with many events that involve drinking) was this strange development of hypochondria.... I mean, I was having full blown panic attacks thinking I was going to die. Hope I’m explaining this well enough to understand but it was starting to get a bit debilitating at times. Has anyone else experienced this while readily drinking?
Like for example: my heart would flutter the next day, presumably from a rather heavier than normal episode of wine drinking and then I’d think I was having a heart ache... like really believe it and freak out more. It was the strangest thing. Its since subsided... I still have thoughts but they don’t take over like they did before. Anyone else?5 -
@Beka3695 Just pick right back up where you left off! Don't let a slip turn into a fall!7
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SweatsOnSunday wrote: »So to all those who are trying to forge their paths but feeling they need to hide that they are not drinking -- there is no explaining that needs to be done. You just don't feel like one tonight. End of story.
Well said. I usually go with the “I’m taking it easy tonight” approach. What I’ve found along the way is that the far far far majority of people couldn’t care less if I’m drinking or not.
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@donimfp as much as I wouldn’t want anyone to ever feel that way, it’s comforting to know I’m not the only one. Congrats on day 16 AF! Glad your mind is peaceful. Mine has been too and I’m thoroughly enjoying less anxiety.
*and my last post, I meant * heart attack, not heart ache
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I figured autocorrect “helped” you out.1
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A close friend of mine recently got divorced. Her ex-husband was a massive drinker (and into some drugs) and it would cause chaos in her life and their three teenage sons. Yesterday, she texted me that her ex killed himself. I was so devastated for her and her three sons. And then I thought about this man, what a tragedy. I’m not sure if he was drinking or depressed or miserable but I can’t help but think his alcoholism had to have played a role in his death. I can only imagine the despair he must have felt. So very sad.
It’s inspiring reading your posts and welcome to the new friends.
I havne’t been on the thread for a few days and I caught up about 37 posts! 9 -
@kelagurl I used to have a lot of heart palpitations, felt like my heart was racing at times and I couldn't slow it down. It was one of the signs that made me realize I needed to start making healthier choices. I didn't know if it was directly related to drinking, but I now think it was because it doesn't happen anymore.6
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I haven't logged in for a few days. Heres what happening in my world. My 82 year old mother and her husband are SO sick with the flu. She had a flu shot so she is better than him. Hes in the hospital and hallucinating. My mom is at home, 40 miles away from me so thats not too bad but not ideal. My GOOD friend had a massive heart attack and is not doing well at all. His husband is a saint and being super supportive but is leaning on us. My daughter is at her wits end with a 2.5 year old and a 10 month old and calls me crying every other day. I am super busy being grandma, mom, daughter, friend. Oh and my husband is sick in bed. So I am busy. Just taking baby steps. Welcome all new people. I will read all the comments when I can come up for breath.12
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@VeggieGirlforLife wow, sounds just like my situation... especially the racing heart... not fun
That’s good to hear it’s not happening anymore.
Oh my gosh @JenT304 ! I am so sorry that you’re going through so much. You’re so strong... Make sure to take some time for yourself... I hope everyone in your life starts to get better soon3 -
@VeggieGirlforLife thanks for the warm welcome. I also did the same thing during the holidays... went straight back to drinking.
I’ll be honest, I say my story isn’t interesting, but I feel like I’d want to write a novel.
What made me realize something had to change and wine wasn’t making things better (work stress, I have a high pressure sales job with many events that involve drinking) was this strange development of hypochondria.... I mean, I was having full blown panic attacks thinking I was going to die. Hope I’m explaining this well enough to understand but it was starting to get a bit debilitating at times. Has anyone else experienced this while readily drinking?
Like for example: my heart would flutter the next day, presumably from a rather heavier than normal episode of wine drinking and then I’d think I was having a heart ache... like really believe it and freak out more. It was the strangest thing. Its since subsided... I still have thoughts but they don’t take over like they did before. Anyone else?
Welcome and yes to your question. My heart was not regular before. It would speed up and slow down. I noticed it on the treadmill. It is fine now. I had panic attacks as well. I think it is the anxiety in overdrive.4 -
I had a pretty scary experience the other month and I decided I needed to make a change. It’s honestly the trigger to the events that led me to mfp so I guess it’s fitting that I join this thread. So I am 5 weeks into being AF and after that experience while looking at myself under the microscope I acknowledged that I had been using cannabis and nicotine as a crutch for far too long. So I quit those too. It was a pretty rough first few weeks filled with insomnia, irritability and lack of hunger. I lost a good bit of weight that I couldn’t afford to lose so I started using mfp to help gain some weight back and working out to help replace my bad behaviors with more healthy ones. And here I am I guess 😛
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@RubyRed427 No words....Suicide is devastating...my goes out to your friend
AND her children especially!!! 1 -
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I feel very trivial sharing this with what some having going on in their lives.
A few weeks back I shared my experience getting stuck in an elevator for an hour. Well, when I had submitted my bill, I had left a note as a joke asking if I was getting 'danger pay' for getting stuck in the "death box" and when I picked up my cheque yesterday, the docs had tacked on an extra $50...I've NEVER been payed for being frieked out before, but I may be on to something & start charging!! LOL.
BTW that particular elevator has been revamped and the first time back to that office, I pressed the button & watched the door open and then close and then took the stairs...BUT yesterday I MADE MYSELF get in and go to the top & then to the bottom...this one actually talks to you to let you know that "you've reached level 4" and "you've reached street level" I wonder if there is a voice to let you know "you've reached nowheresville because you are now stuck" Hopefully, I won't ever find out!!
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@JenT304 I'm sorry for all you're going thru,I have a daughter who has two little boys too and when she gets overwhelmed I can definitely feel her frustration! The flu is scary too,hope they both recover quickly RubyRed I'm sorry that's awful!! I'll never understand suicide,I told you all about my brother doing that and I question his decision everyday with sadness in my heart,Beka,just get back to it love,we've all been there,waves to all and great posts by everyone! Have a Fab AF day! 5
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@RubyRed427 and @JenT304 hugs and much love.4
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I haven't logged in for a few days. Heres what happening in my world. My 82 year old mother and her husband are SO sick with the flu. She had a flu shot so she is better than him. Hes in the hospital and hallucinating. My mom is at home, 40 miles away from me so thats not too bad but not ideal. My GOOD friend had a massive heart attack and is not doing well at all. His husband is a saint and being super supportive but is leaning on us. My daughter is at her wits end with a 2.5 year old and a 10 month old and calls me crying every other day. I am super busy being grandma, mom, daughter, friend. Oh and my husband is sick in bed. So I am busy. Just taking baby steps. Welcome all new people. I will read all the comments when I can come up for breath.
So sorry you're dealing with all this, Jen! Hope things get better soon!5 -
Sorry for the long post - but I have a lot on my mind today. I promised my wife no alcohol until Easter. Easter is in 6 days and I am 11+ weeks AF at the time of this writing. BUT - Liquor logic is starting to rear it's ugly head again.
As you may recall stopping drinking got me off of BP meds (so happy about this) - HOWEVER - going AF made my cholesterol go the wrong way enough that I need to get back on statin drugs according to my "internet diagnosis." I have an appointment with the doc this afternoon to see what I need to do - like she knows more than the internet haha.
I eat right and work out super-hard 3 or 4 times per week (swim, cycle, and run) and I always train to participate in at least 1 Sprint Triathlon per year. I like to keep my fitness level here at all times. I am also at goal weight...so no weight loss or exercise program is going to change anything.
I do NOT want to get back on meds - but if I had to choose - I would much rather be on BP meds than a statin drug...which would mean
???drinking in moderation again (max of 2 beers or 5 oz. of wine per day)???
^^^^ Liquor Logic^^^^
Either way liquor or statin drugs can mess up your liver.
Bottom line is - whatever the doc tells me I will do. I am not whining one bit. In fact I am truly thankful for my good health and thank the good Lord often for this. Having to take a statin or BP drug is inconsequential compared to some of the battles others face.
I will let you know what's up as soon as I figure it out myself....
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Thanks for all your support. Everyone is stable today. I'm grateful for a drama- free Monday so far.
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Ed Zilla..........thats interesting, my bp is excellent now that I don't drink.........I think you are right, I ve read up on statins , blood pressure, etc.........bp meds are quite safe for the most, Ive been off and on them for years....no side effects. I do know that statins do have some serious side effects..........my total cholesterol is 146, and my b p is running about 115/70 , more or less . By stopping completely in my wine consumption, my bp is lower..........Im going to ask my dr to take me off of them, or at least a less dosage.........Im taking 50 mg Metoprolol and wanting him to decrease to 25 mg........I feel so much better
to those who struggle, hang in there.........for me, and this applies to me, you will get to a point you wont even give it a second thought.............there is wine in the frige and beer, its my wifes and she rarely drinks, but having family over this weekend...........I have NO desire , and for me, I think this comes from a year of not drinking.........it will come to you......you wont even think about it....hang in there, and I am keeping you all in my thoughts.......Lloyd
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