The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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@RubyRed427 Big adjustment for everyone. I'm glad your in and that the grad party went well and that things ended on a good note with your Son. You will make a new "home" and your kids will adjust new their new normal over time. 6 -
Today officially marks the last day in 2018 that I had a drink. Tomorrow is my one year Sober-versary. I remember waiting a couple of days to install my quit drinking app on my phone & input June 1, 2018 as my official first day of being AF, so I can celebrate again when my phone blows the bells & whistles in a couple of days!!
Anyway, there is a new "diary" feature on the app along with the relapse feature. I did my first diary entry today and one of the things I wrote was that I wasn't certain what made me finally stop the insanity, but it is a process that will continue if I continue it...it doesn't stop at the one day mark or the one year mark, it just becomes a way of life and I truly hope that I have found my new way of life.
I clicked on the relapse feature to see what is on it and it has a place to input the date of your "longest streak" then below that the "total number of relapses".... But it begins by saying, "Great that you made it this far, It made you stronger for your next attempt." And that is the encouragement to be taken. Relapse is a NORMAL part of quitting...it doesn't mean a person has to quit trying because of a lapse back to deeply ingrained behavior ...there is strength in getting back on track!!!9 -
Good Morning Everyone - I took a little break from technology this weekend so I've got some catching up to do reading but for now an update. My long weekend wasn't perfect and I did drink some. I was really grappling with myself about sharing but in the end I realized I need to just be honest. I was feeling really badly about it at first but I'm trying to move beyond that and accept that it is just a part of my journey and it's just not a straight path. I took Friday off from work for an extra long weekend and did a LOT of home landscaping and garden work - like a lot - like ripping out trees and hauling mulch etc. Anyway I made a massive mocktail pitcher which did me well for most of the weekend but in the end I didn't win the full weekend battle. I had 2 drinks on Friday and then again on Sunday. Here is what I learned - first none of these drinks were what I consider my problem drink which is wine. There was zero wine. I did not get drunk, I did not go to bed drunk, I did not wake up in an anxious panic in the middle of the night and I was not hung over. Friday was the hardest day because I was craving and that was when I felt the most guilt. By Sunday though I kind of felt like I could give or take it and mostly I was regretting the calories. Having more wasn't really appealing so I didn't have any more. My eating also wasn't perfect this weekend - I can't say I was diligently counting and I had a couple of snacks - but I also don't feel like I overdid it especially since I got a ton of exercise between hauling mulch and an extra 4 mile run on Sunday. Anyway - I'm not going back and starting counting over - I don't feel like that's gonna be good for my brain. On the scale this morning I am holding steady where I was before the weekend - no losses but no gains either. I'm not letting the weekend knock me off my path so here it is Tuesday and I'm thankful to be back to my normal routine and focused on my long term goals.5
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It seems to me that as we’re all feeling our way through this together a theme of not beating ourselves up and not being “all or nothing “ is arising. I don’t want at all to minimize the dangers of relapse because I know it can be perilous. On the other hand, I chose to kind of shrug off last Friday night’s glass of white wine as a blip, and instead of going another 3 months to get back to Day 1, I kept counting and just spent a good Day 60.
I’m working through Annie Grace’s intensive course. It’s good. But $500 isn’t something I plopped down carelessly. And I’m a little bummed that now every day I get emails telling me that the BEST benefits come from her “one on one intensive” which is only $400 more. Sorry. This group is far more valuable to me. And the immediate pleas to spend even more money have really made me cynical.
Good night to all 3 more days of juvie! My probable replacement interviewed today and I really liked her and think she would do a great job with the kids. That goes into my gratitude journal and merits a bubbly water toast.6 -
@lorrainequiche59, what a huge accomplishment! I can’t imagine ever getting there, but you did it!!! You must feel amazing. And you are! Please keep inspiring us. And treat yourself to something very special. You deserve it.4
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@lorrainequiche59 Bravo!!! I am so happy for you!! Can you imagine how much better physically your organs and body must be doing? Plus, the wonderful reward of clear thinking and experiencing life’s ups and downs with raw, real emotion.
@donimfp Interesting comments about Annie selling more and more. That’s a little unappetizing. I agree with you about the blip on the radar last Friday night. It is OK! As long as we are 99.9 percent AF, we may succumb here and there. But we all know in our hearts and minds how we are doing.
@Sunshinelinzee We are all learning as we go. Nothing bad happened because of you’re two weekend drinks- you weren’t sick, you didn’t binge, you had no hangover. I know that after I do what you did, I tend to think, now why did I do that? Especially because I feel so much better AF in every way. But we move on and keep on going. You’re doing so well!4 -
janinemharris wrote: »Hi everyone! I'm undecided if im going AF or just cutting back after a measly 4 days (actually somewhat of a record) it seems like it might be the right thing to do! Also this is my first post on a MFP forum so hello
Welcome! Stop back often. Let us know how you’re feeing. I strongly believe we all have that little voice or nagging feeling that tells us maybe it’s time to rethink drinking or cut back somewhat. Give it a try. And see how it goes!4 -
BriTheDietBlogger wrote: »What a great thread. I also want to give up alcohol. Following!
Hello! Happy you joined us. What i love about this thread is we can be as honest with each other as with ourselves. We are judgment free zone. Post whenever you want!2 -
Hello friends,@donimfp I love the newsletter I get from Annie but it leaves a sour taste in my mouth that they keep trying to sell me courses,I used to like "tired of thinking of drinking" too but Belle got to the point of selling stuff and then selling her husband's"art" so I blocked her emails,yes I'm in a one slip isn't derailing however if it goes on for a few days and getting to more amounts that equals a relapse to me and yes I'd start recounting then, luckily I haven't had anything in 100+ days but I've been here before so keeping my guard up! Lorraine, fantastic job! Waves to all and have a Fab AF day7
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Good Morning Everyone
Finally getting caught up - welcome to everyone new! I'm a little bit tired today with some achy joints - I think it's the weather - it's been an endless cold and rainy spring here. Anyway I suppose I'm just also thinking about the 'blips' and how though our stories have many similarities we are also all so different - and like most things there isn't just one answer or solution or reason for our wanting to change (and that is ok cause it's what makes us wonderful and unique!). What works for me might not work for you and vice versa etc. I suppose that's why I like this thread so much - it's a place to be honest, people share what is working and what is not. It helps me feel not so alone in my decision to change my life and the struggles that come with that and also gives me ideas on how to get through challenging times differently than I might have before.
I guess for me, my primary goal is losing weight and feeling better and living the life I want to live and not drinking is just a part of that because all it does is make me gain weight and feel like crap. It's clear as day to me that drinking was too big a part of my life and was getting in the way of my other goals and the life I want to have - that I can see myself having in my mind. I haven't necessarily said 'this is it I'm never drinking again' because I know that type of restrictive self-talk is going to last about 5 minutes for me and won't work - the same way I know that if I say 'this is it, I'm never eating pizza again' then I'm probably going to end up having it for dinner. I really want to get to the place where alcohol isn't really taking up space in my life and where my brain doesn't really think about. Where it's not something I'm restricting myself from but something I genuinely don't want. Does that make sense?5 -
@Sunshinelinzee Makes perfect sense. I remember listening to an interview with Billy Idol and he had much the same sentiment - basically he said "tell me I can't ever drink again, and I'll go out and get drunk. So, for today, I'm choosing to not do that." I can be the same way about some things!5
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cardiffcats2018 wrote: »@Sunshinelinzee Makes perfect sense. I remember listening to an interview with Billy Idol and he had much the same sentiment - basically he said "tell me I can't ever drink again, and I'll go out and get drunk. So, for today, I'm choosing to not do that." I can be the same way about some things!
I am 100% ok being like Billy Idol.
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Sunshinelinzee wrote: »I really want to get to the place where alcohol isn't really taking up space in my life and where my brain doesn't really think about. Where it's not something I'm restricting myself from but something I genuinely don't want. Does that make sense?
YES!! It Makes perfect sense!!
@Whitpauly I agree with you on the relapse definition...a slip is a slip and then back on track...a relapse is different in that it is a behavioral pattern trying to take hold again which is much harder to control once some time goes by as you said and we start feeding alcohol to the part of our brain that wants to continue being fed. Then the stinkin' thinkin' kicks back in and that is where the danger lies, and all that time we spent reprogramming our brain needs to start over again...it isn't the amount of days we are AF, but what we DO with those days that contributes to @sunshinelinzee's goal as stated above.
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@whitpauly YEP on the sour taste of others profiting from another's suffering...It's different to be compensated for time & effort helping someone else to get healthier. I have no issue with that, but some of the fees these guys charge for their courses seems steep to me and then the solicitation for more & more $$$ just seems greedy and makes me question their motive at that point, & then I kinda lose interest...
Having said all that, I do appreciate the freebies and take full advantage of those things.4 -
Hi I thought Id drop in again since I follow, its been a while. Going on 90 something days without a slip. I really struggled this weekend more than I have since I started back in January. Something about the weather. Something about the long weekend and the holiday. Its almost symbolic to have a drink in hand. I was dreaming about a corona with or without the lime. I was never fussy.
On the positive side I got yard work done in the high heat and I couldn't help but notice that I was going and doing all throughout the day whereas if I was drinking none of that stuff would have gotten done infact I can't stand the heat never mind work in it.
So I thought about having 1 or 2 of my husbands beers and realized I wouldn't be happy with just 1 or 2 and that would escalate into more.
It sure is an adjustment all the way around this new lifestyle. Thanks for letting me vent.11 -
@lorrainequiche59, thanks for the eloquent distinction. I hope my recent happiness about recovery from a “slip” didn’t encourage anyone to minimize such a thing. I think the revelation for me this time was that a slip isn’t inevitably a relapse leading to months of drinking. I recovered from that slip but consider myself to have dodged a bullet. A few “slips” become a very sad story for me. It’s taken me two years to have one drink that doesn’t quickly lead to a miserable downhill slide. So in no way am I encouraging “slips”!
As to the Quit-Lit money thing, I sprang big bucks ( for me) for Annie Grace’s intensive course ($500). So far there’s been nothing that I haven’t read or heard from her for free. And now I’m being told that the real benefit comes from the next level (expense-wise). I love Annie for helping me s ton on my journey so hesitate to criticize her in any way. She’s done s ton of good. As has AA. I’m just saying caveat emptor and hoping to save y’all some money if you’re like me. But the money might be well worth it for some. All meant with love.6 -
Hello friends,just wanted to say that the things I post only relate to me and my personal feeling about my journey,I'd never judge anybody's actions or thoughts,I feel like I maybe didn't say what I was trying to say yesterday right thanks for righting it Lorraine
I'm with you guys on just not wanting to think about drinking/not drinking and that's how I'm trying to live,just day to day life, yesterday was rough cuz I just missed the euphoria from drinkin but I know how short lived it would be and how bloody sick I'd be for days! Waves to all and wishes for a fab AF Day 6 -
Good Morning All
I think you are all fantastic and doing awesome. Even though I've only been posting here for a short while I haven't felt judged at all - and just like @whitpauly I'd never judge any of you either. My posts as well are about me and my personal feelings and journey and I'm always a little worried about sounding right when I type. I tend to be really up front and direct with a hint of sarcasm - which is all fine in person but can get lost or come off snobby and arrogant in this type of format so I am ALWAYS trying to not sound like that.
Anyway lots of posts about Annie so here is my 2 cents. I'm about half way through her free experiment and I listened to the audio version of her Naked Mind book twice. I really liked it and I really liked her mostly because I find I'm able to relate to her. We are similar in age, professional experiences, drink of choice and amount being consumed and reasons for drinking - in a lot of ways she was able to put in to words exactly how I was feeling about it all. That's my biggest draw - she's like me. I will admit there are a lot of repetitive themes from the book to the experiment and at this point I'm getting the most out of her special guests in the videos and I'm ok with that. I don't plan on doing the paid intensives but I'm sure that there are people out there that would really benefit from them so I don't want to say anything negative or pass any judgment. As much as I personally don't love the sales pitches (and they do seem pretty expensive) knowing her professional background is as a heavy hitting marketer I also 110% expected there would be a paid program piggy backed on to the free experiment. I'm just ignoring those emails for the extra stuff.5 -
Oh shites! Just accidentally lost my post. Here goes.
Tomorrow is my last day of a harrowing year teaching wounded, incarcerated teens. So much pain, hope, and hilarity coexisting in one place. I’m motivated to stick my toes into screen/script-writing water based on this year. But first a week of just wiggling my toes in non-closed-toed gross jail teacher shoes! I never imagined feeling such gratitude for bare feet.
I’m going to take a break from contributing here for a while and just lurk and enjoy. I obviously miscommunicated and implied offense or criticism I did not intend at all. I appreciate everyone’s input and also do not mean to dis Annie Grace, whom I respect enough to dive into a costly course. I was just a bit surprised by the speed with which the next offer came.
I’m looking forward to day 63 tomorrow and a wonderful summer ahead. I wish us all delicious frosty AF drinks, new adventures, and bare feet!!!8 -
Oh shites! Just accidentally lost my post. Here goes.
Tomorrow is my last day of a harrowing year teaching wounded, incarcerated teens. So much pain, hope, and hilarity coexisting in one place. I’m motivated to stick my toes into screen/script-writing water based on this year. But first a week of just wiggling my toes in non-closed-toed gross jail teacher shoes! I never imagined feeling such gratitude for bare feet.
I’m going to take a break from contributing here for a while and just lurk and enjoy. I obviously miscommunicated and implied offense or criticism I did not intend at all. I appreciate everyone’s input and also do not mean to dis Annie Grace, whom I respect enough to dive into a costly course. I was just a bit surprised by the speed with which the next offer came.
I’m looking forward to day 63 tomorrow and a wonderful summer ahead. I wish us all delicious frosty AF drinks, new adventures, and bare feet!!!
Congrats on an amazing school year! I remember when you started it! You’ve been through ups and downs and you’ve had a wonderful AF spring! Hooray! I dont think anyone was offended; I was rereading posts and I didnt see that all. I myself do not like high pressure or daily emails from any business. I have to say I unsubscribed to Annie only because the daily emails were too much. She’s a great motivator and I applaud her for her efforts. I think one of the benefits of AA is that it’s free or $1 donation. I once looked into Craig Beck’s workshops and that was a ton of money. So, I am content just participating on this thread as much as I can. Love you guys!
P.s. I love your contributions to the thread. You can take a break of course, but I enjoy your insights!9 -
Thanks @RubyRed427! No big deal on taking a break. I just think I need to rest my brain before I open my virtual mouth much.
In one hour I’ll be entering the jail for the last time. I love those times in life where a new chapter is starting and we don’t really know what’s around the corner. I know you are definitely in such a place with your new life in your apartment. It’s exciting to be doing it with a clear head.
God bless and everyone have a wonderful weekend!6 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »Oh shites! Just accidentally lost my post. Here goes.
Tomorrow is my last day of a harrowing year teaching wounded, incarcerated teens. So much pain, hope, and hilarity coexisting in one place. I’m motivated to stick my toes into screen/script-writing water based on this year. But first a week of just wiggling my toes in non-closed-toed gross jail teacher shoes! I never imagined feeling such gratitude for bare feet.
I’m going to take a break from contributing here for a while and just lurk and enjoy. I obviously miscommunicated and implied offense or criticism I did not intend at all. I appreciate everyone’s input and also do not mean to dis Annie Grace, whom I respect enough to dive into a costly course. I was just a bit surprised by the speed with which the next offer came.
I’m looking forward to day 63 tomorrow and a wonderful summer ahead. I wish us all delicious frosty AF drinks, new adventures, and bare feet!!!
Congrats on an amazing school year! I remember when you started it! You’ve been through ups and downs and you’ve had a wonderful AF spring! Hooray! I dont think anyone was offended; I was rereading posts and I didnt see that all. I myself do not like high pressure or daily emails from any business. I have to say I unsubscribed to Annie only because the daily emails were too much. She’s a great motivator and I applaud her for her efforts. I think one of the benefits of AA is that it’s free or $1 donation. I once looked into Craig Beck’s workshops and that was a ton of money. So, I am content just participating on this thread as much as I can. Love you guys!
P.s. I love your contributions to the thread. You can take a break of course, but I enjoy your insights!
Ditto! I wasn't offended by anything you said & would love you to continue contributing here, but you need to do what you need to do & take a break if that's helpful.
I can't remember who, a page or so back, commented on trying to get our point across and it being lost in translation from our brain to our typing it out...and what we "mean" to say doesn't necessarily come out as we meant OR we could be in a mood and it can color our view or the person reading (or skimming and not really reading carefully...I'm guilty!! of that at times) is reading what we wrote when they are feeling a particular thing and misunderstand our point.
What I am attempting to say in my rambling sort of way is, none of us here are perfect and we do not have to agree with what others write, but we if we begin to censor ourselves to avoid offending each other, I think it will lose some of it's flavor. So I hope you continue to share what is in your heart because it's valuable to us. 7 -
The sun is making an appearance through the cloudy overcast sky this morn and hopefully will stick around for the day...or at least part of it! Hoping the sun is shining in other parts of the world for any here who need the brightness today.
Have a great AF day! And hopefully we will ALL need these 5 -
Ugh! Lost my post too,@donimfp I didn't read anything offensive in any of your posts either? Hope your toes enjoy their freedom haha and do hope you'll continue to pop in finally getting hot in Vegas,yay! I love the heat and even tho warmer weather is a trigger I also know it's too hot for a hangover so that helps,much love and have a Fab AF day! 5
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@donimfp I also re read everything and I don't think anyone was offended by anything you said! Please continue to contribute to the thread!
I have been so busy helping my daughter with her kids (they just moved on Tuesday) that I had to read about 50 messages to catch up. Everyone is doing so well! Welcome to the new people!
I have GOT to step it up with my fitness and dieting goals. I look and feel like a bus. I bought some of that fiber powder you put into a beverage.......benefiber "healthy shape" LOL I hope. I just had my first glass of it and it DOES make me feel full. Has anyone else used this stuff and had any luck with it helping curb the appetite?
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@donimfp ditto to everyone else's response.. don't know what anyone would find offensive5
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Jen,I've never tried the benefiber but there's fiber in my protein powder so yeah it makes me full,go easy though cuz sometimes extra fiber too fast can cause gas
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Thanks y’all. I didn’t mean to be a drama queen. Just felt like maybe I was saying things unfortunately without meaning to out of sheer end-of-school-year exhaustion.
Life is so interesting. Today at least 5 juvie boy students surprised me with hugs and things like “I’ll miss you. Have a good summer “. These same little criminals were telling me to f* this or that stupid assignment last week or so. I’ve learned so much this year about how many kids come from horrendous circumstances and can’t help grieving for them when I see the excellent parenting my granddaughters are receiving and realizing that my jailed students for the most part just lacked parenting through no fault of their own.
May God have mercy on all of us. We all need it for sure. I promise I won’t go off on this tangent again, but since this is my first night “in the free” as they say, I urge you parents to give your kids an extra hug and grandparents (like me) to praise your own kids to the rafters for doing a great job with your grandchildren. I’ve seen how much it means to my daughter since I’ve been telling her what an awesome mom she is.
So much for my silence. Sheesh.
PS. Did not go out end-of-school drinking with my colleagues much as I love them.10 -
GOOD MORN There is this yellow thing in the sky this morn...I may need these hopefully!!!
I am off to have some FUN today...YAY me! That is the one thing that is kinda lacking in my life...partly because after working and general busy-ness there is little left-over energy and a general lack of desire to do much else. ANYHOO, today is THE day for FUN!! I am going to a Craft/Blues Festival in a groovy, wee town some distance away. In fact the last time I was in this place, I was underage drinking at the Inn there and that is pretty much all I remember of the place back then. SO, I'm excited to go back and see it with sober eyes...There will "likely" be alcohol somewhere there, as there usually is at these events....but I will not be there for the nightly festivities, so it will be easier to dodge the drink-fest end of things during the daylight hours. We are going early and home by dinner time. I'm $budgeting$ myself so I don't come back with a spending hangover LOL.
Whatever today brings may we all enjoy something, even the smallest of somethings
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@lorrainequiche59, I hope your day was as FUN as you were anticipating. Having fun, or more precisely experiencing joy, is what I’m most anticipating this summer. It’s going to take me a while to decompress from my job,I think. And today negative self-talk has tried to muscle its way in. Life sure is an adventure isn’t it? The AF journey just adds another layer for people like me who have used alcohol to avoid the intensity.
I plan to take this year’s first dive into our deliciously cold river in the morning. That river is my safe and healing place. Wishing everyone a good day of clean, pure enjoyment tomorrow.7
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