It's amazing how many of you that don't pay attention.
RachelSRoach1
Posts: 435 Member
This is part of a rant... so if you're thin skinned then stop reading.
But seriously? If the point of this website were to just give mindless praise without really paying attention... then most of you are doing great. When I complete my food diary at only about 850 calories.. don't say "great job" or "Way to go" to that.. if you had actually looked I'm sure most of you would say "That's dangerous" because it is. I have another friend who is trying to gain weight and having a VERY hard time. She lost more weight last week and a whole group of people congratulated her.. which is just further incidence of not paying attention.
I'm not saying that as a friend you need to read into every situation and know what every diary says or whatever.. but I am saying that sometimes it would be beneficial to actually know what you are saying. There are only like 10 of my friends who will put a detailed comment or actually have something to say.
Praise is a terrific confidence booster.. but when you realize how empty it is then suddenly it means nothing.
Think about it.
Also.. if you're the kind of person into a "snappy" comeback or whatever, the person inclined to defend themselves to me.. don't waste your time. You don't have to read this.. and it doesn't matter what I say if you don't consider what you're doing in the end.
But seriously? If the point of this website were to just give mindless praise without really paying attention... then most of you are doing great. When I complete my food diary at only about 850 calories.. don't say "great job" or "Way to go" to that.. if you had actually looked I'm sure most of you would say "That's dangerous" because it is. I have another friend who is trying to gain weight and having a VERY hard time. She lost more weight last week and a whole group of people congratulated her.. which is just further incidence of not paying attention.
I'm not saying that as a friend you need to read into every situation and know what every diary says or whatever.. but I am saying that sometimes it would be beneficial to actually know what you are saying. There are only like 10 of my friends who will put a detailed comment or actually have something to say.
Praise is a terrific confidence booster.. but when you realize how empty it is then suddenly it means nothing.
Think about it.
Also.. if you're the kind of person into a "snappy" comeback or whatever, the person inclined to defend themselves to me.. don't waste your time. You don't have to read this.. and it doesn't matter what I say if you don't consider what you're doing in the end.
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Replies
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I sometimes think its silly to say well done when someone ahs netted like 700cals in a day. Its not good for you, you should have at least 1200 a day so any less isnt healthy so not good job really is it?0
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If you don't want empty praise then you may want to think about not completing your entry. Or is it a slapped wrist you are looking for?0
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I sometimes think its silly to say well done when someone ahs netted like 700cals in a day. Its not good for you, you should have at least 1200 a day so any less isnt healthy so not good job really is it?
You're absolutely right. The only reason my diet is so weak at 850 is because I make sure I get that done in the morning and add snacks later.0 -
We are not responsible for you eating poorly. I don't look anyone's diary but my own. I am responsible for me and only me. Good luck to you.0
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Totally agree. I keep my friends list limited to 100, and even that is starting to seem a little high, because I like to know what every person's goals are. I never give empty praise, and I also never praise someone for being under their goal. Not to say that sometimes it isn't a good thing, but for all I know they could be over 1000 under it, which is dangerous. All the friends on here that praise me for doing a good job are ones I talk to often and know my goals, so I don't tend to worry about it being empty. All you can really do is just give honest praise or criticism and hope people would do the same for you, ya know?0
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I actually look at people's diaries before I make comments like that typically. Most of my friends I know their situation so I feel comfortable commenting the way I do. But you do bring up a valid point.0
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Ahhh Rachel, that comment is so right that I could have written it myself.
I have posted on this before and have said as much to my on-line friend. If all you get every day is a 'well done' it is a bit pointless.0 -
We are not responsible for you eating poorly. I don't look anyone's diary but my own. I am responsible for me and only me. Good luck to you.
I don't really think it's fair of you to imply that she was blaming others for her eating poorly. She just said that it seems people don't even bother to look at how she's done before they offer empty praise.0 -
I agree with you completely! It irks me to death to read about someone whinning and complaining about not being able to loose you start following their diary and well duh you eat crap and or not enough then you tell them and they take offense...0
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I stopped commenting on diary completion because I don't have the time to look at everyone's diary before commenting. If I look, I give positive feedback for the positives that I see. I always try to be specific, so my friends know I actually do pay attention. I take my MFP friendships seriously and won't give idle praise. It is also why I never finish logging my food until the next day. The diary completion doesn't show up, so I don't feel like I'm "forcing" anyone to blindly give out atta-boys when I may not have done so great.0
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I do not leave comments on a "under his/her calorie goal" if the diary is closed but see others that do and I wonder, How do they even know that it was a "good job." They could have logged 1 slice of chocolate cake and nothing else and would never even know it.0
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I've said the same thing before. I will not put something if A) I cannot view the diary
if I don't have time to look it over, C) if it looks bad, unless I was asked to kick some behind. I try to get to know my mfp friends names and their individual situation, so I am not congratulating someone for losing when they are trying to gain and vice versa or encouraging someone with an ED, etc. I want to be helpful and supportive per friend, not a just overall.
Great read - thanks for posting!0 -
'This is part of a rant... so if you're thin skinned then stop reading.
But seriously? If the point of this website were to just give mindless praise without really paying attention... then most of you are doing great. When I complete my food diary at only about 850 calories.. don't say "great job" or "Way to go" to that.. if you had actually looked I'm sure most of you would say "That's dangerous" because it is. I have another friend who is trying to gain weight and having a VERY hard time. She lost more weight last week and a whole group of people congratulated her.. which is just further incidence of not paying attention.
I'm not saying that as a friend you need to read into every situation and know what every diary says or whatever.. but I am saying that sometimes it would be beneficial to actually know what you are saying. There are only like 10 of my friends who will put a detailed comment or actually have something to say.
Praise is a terrific confidence booster.. but when you realize how empty it is then suddenly it means nothing.
Think about it.
Very well said! I haven't experienced that this time around on MFP but I did last time. I recall being very ill and was consuming about 300 calories a day for 2 or 3 days and I was amazed to see how many positive comments I received for being under my calorie goal. As far as I am concerned if you are going to comment on a completed diary just take a little time to look at it...I could have a total crap day food wise and be under my goal but I don't want someome praising me for it.:laugh:0 -
Maybe I need to be more specific in my praise, but when I say good job for an end of day post, it is really to say, "way to keep track of what you eat," because for me, the mindless eating and not paying attention is how I got to be 80 lbs too heavy. There are some days I net 1000 and some days I net 2000, but I focus on keeping my weekly average at 1400. So I am not going to pass judgement on whether someone has eaten too much or too little. but I will congratulate them for being AWARE. That is truly half the battle.
But I do understand your point.0 -
Sometimes people are only suppose to get 800 cals per day. My diet from doctor recommends that i get 800-1000 cals per day. So you never know what someones specific situation is. There are many different reasons why and individual may need less. While it is not recommended, i think its different if you are under a doctors supervision.0
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I'm with you on that. That is a good portion of why I removed my ticker from my signature as i am now attempting to gain muscle and have been gaining weight. I quickly got tired of people writing me saying that's it's great that I'm so close to my goal. I possibly lost a friend or two because they thought I was failing at losing weight, but that's their loss.0
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Every time I write a good blog I get 10-15 friend requests. It clearly states in my profile that I have neither the time nor the inclination to read other people's diary on a daily basis and yet I still get flooded with requests. If you want personalized attention, focus your requests on people who have less than 30-50 friends. If you're friending people with 200+ friends you're just not going to get the attention you want. Sorry.
ETA: And I don't feel I'm here to babysit anyone. Unless you specifically ask for advice on your food diary, I will not try not to offer it. You're a big boy/girl and I'm not your Mommy.0 -
Well, I praise people for the act of logging. If you want my opinion on your diary, then ask me. I am not here to criticize others diaries because I do not know their entire story. For one, I have had gastric bypass. I can only eat so much per day: about 800-1000 calories. I was getting so many people telling me I was not eating enough. I had to write each one and explain. Unless someone asks for my help with their eating, I will praise them for the act and effort to log and get healthy.0
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Hmmm. Maybe people are just trying to be supportive and not make judgement. Maybe it would be a great idea to limit the amount of friends you have to only those who have detailed information and know your situation. It is really "my" call to say oh you are not eating enough or that is not good for you. This is a personal journey and only you know what is best for you. Also, maybe that person should not have completed his/her dairy for that day and had it posted. IMHO0
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Maybe I need to be more specific in my praise, but when I say good job for an end of day post, it is really to say, "way to keep track of what you eat," because for me, the mindless eating and not paying attention is how I got to be 80 lbs too heavy. There are some days I net 1000 and some days I net 2000, but I focus on keeping my weekly average at 1400. So I am not going to pass judgement on whether someone has eaten too much or too little. but I will congratulate them for being AWARE. That is truly half the battle.
But I do understand your point.
That is a terrific point too.0 -
I competely agree with you...I don't know how many times I've noticed "good job" on someone who has only eaten bread and water all day. But if I have completed my diary right on the mark of goal..I actually got a "tomorrow is a new day" like I had done something wrong. If you don't have time to actually look at the diary of the person you are posting on, then don't bother posting anything. You actually might unintentionally be congradulating someone with a eating disorder!0
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I agree with you, but I don't see the point in this post. It's great to get encouragement through this online community, but to rant about people you don't know is pointless. If you don't like what your "friends" post, then just block them. To tell us that most people on this site aren't doing what they should is offensive.0
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Well, I praise people for the act of logging. If you want my opinion on your diary, then ask me. I am not here to criticize others diaries because I do not know their entire story. For one, I have had gastric bypass. I can only eat so much per day: about 800-1000 calories. I was getting so many people telling me I was not eating enough. I had to write each one and explain. Unless someone asks for my help with their eating, I will praise them for the act and effort to log and get healthy.
My Dad had that surgery too.. that is also a good point. Good luck to you, too.. it is hard to come back from.0 -
Mostly...I comment on diaries "great logging" I decided a long time ago not to play the "you need to eat this or not eat that" game. People are on different journies....who am I to judge??? Everyone should be logging what's going into their body...I am not going to fight with someone about making sure grown adults eat 1200 calories.
Normally, I delete people who aren't trying to lose weight the same way I am.
Good luck on your journey
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I'm with you on that. That is a good portion of why I removed my ticker from my signature as i am now attempting to gain muscle and have been gaining weight. I quickly got tired of people writing me saying that's it's great that I'm so close to my goal. I possibly lost a friend or two because they thought I was failing at losing weight, but that's their loss.
Another thing I don't understand. Why would you delete someone who is gaining weight? I've had some friends on here saying they're gonna delete anyone that's been gaining weight, and I just think that's so stupid. But, you're right, if they deleted you, their loss
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We are not responsible for you eating poorly. I don't look anyone's diary but my own. I am responsible for me and only me. Good luck to you.
I don't really think it's fair of you to imply that she was blaming others for her eating poorly. She just said that it seems people don't even bother to look at how she's done before they offer empty praise.
Simple solution is make your diary private then. If you are eating under 1200, unless under a doctors order, is eating poorly and not caring for yourself. It's rude to call people mindless especially for your own mistakes. It's shifting the blame, plain and simple.0 -
This is part of a rant... so if you're thin skinned then stop reading.
But seriously? If the point of this website were to just give mindless praise without really paying attention... then most of you are doing great. When I complete my food diary at only about 850 calories.. don't say "great job" or "Way to go" to that.. if you had actually looked I'm sure most of you would say "That's dangerous" because it is. I have another friend who is trying to gain weight and having a VERY hard time. She lost more weight last week and a whole group of people congratulated her.. which is just further incidence of not paying attention.
I'm not saying that as a friend you need to read into every situation and know what every diary says or whatever.. but I am saying that sometimes it would be beneficial to actually know what you are saying. There are only like 10 of my friends who will put a detailed comment or actually have something to say.
Praise is a terrific confidence booster.. but when you realize how empty it is then suddenly it means nothing.
Think about it.
it is naturally safe to consume less calories in a day or even more. People do it all of the time when they have a dinner they want to go to, or want to have a cheat day, they stagger their calories and make up for the deficit. It is not about the calories consumed in a day, it is about what is going in and out at the end of the week...whatever that may be for each individual.
Everyone should be able to eat what they want. People should be able to Lower their calories to whatever they want to lower their calories to. We aren't MFP police. Why can't we just say, "good job staying under YOUR goal?" so apparently, what people are doing is critiquing the food intake of others like they are nutritional experts. Even a nutritionist shouldn't make comments about the types of food, or quantity of food someone is consuming on this site, unless specifically asked. People will ask for help when they want it. Doctors don't go around looking for people to care for. People look for doctors. We didn't join MFP to judge someone else.
I do find it funny that people love to comment on the diaries of others. Why? What is the purpose? Really? MFP is here for everyone, regardless of what their calorie intake is. This site is about the individual, not what others think someone else should be consuming.
Yes, this is really an aggravating topic for me. I guess you have people in this world who think they are supposed to control those around them.
Logout and read who MFP is for..... EVERYONE regardless of what diet they are on. Read what MFP is all about.
MFP is NOT a program. It is a site for journaling and finding others who are on the same path as you are. Everyone isn't on the same path.
MFP is a lot like Jesus... arms open wide to the food-saint as well as to the junked-out-sinner.
Just leave people alone!!0 -
I competely agree with you...I don't know how many times I've noticed "good job" on someone who has only eaten bread and water all day. But if I have completed my diary right on the mark of goal..I actually got a "tomorrow is a new day" like I had done something wrong. If you don't have time to actually look at the diary of the person you are posting on, then don't bother posting anything. You actually might unintentionally be congradulating someone with a eating disorder!
lol that is sad.. but a little funny too, sorry.0 -
Per my doctor an occasional low cal day or even fasting (every couple of months I do a "mental reset" witha 24 hour fast) is not dangerous. What is dangerous is someone who logs that amount of calories for days or weeks- THAT is dangerous not the occasional sub-1200 calorie goal that mfp has decided is dangerous.
So when I see someone post up that they ate only 850 cals or something my response is typically "Good job- just dont make this a regular thing". Personally I am getting tired of the people who think that an occasional sub-1200 post is some sort of earth shattering event that will cause the individual to keel over and die.
As for people trying to gain weight that is another problem entirely.0 -
If those comments bother you, then you can remove them from your friend list since you're not getting the support you need from them. I get what you're saying, though. If I were to say only eat 500 calories on any given day that would be dangerous, not just to me, but to my infant son as well (since I'm breastfeeding). It would look foolish for one of my friend's to congratulate me for doing something dangerous. Most days I don't 'complete' my food diary because I keep it for me, not for anyone else. I want to know how I've done for the day and complete it only when I feel like I *may* want to eat something else that night. Completing it makes me think twice about late-night snacking.0
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