It's amazing how many of you that don't pay attention.

2456

Replies

  • jmehere
    jmehere Posts: 108 Member
    I have seen this, as well. There was a young woman who was obviously already on the lower end of normal trying to loose 15 pounds. She was asking if it was normal to have no energy from doing a calorie deficit. I looked at her profile and one of the things I saw her saying was that she felt "....very in control using MFP." Classic anorexia talk. A lot of the responders didn't bother looking at her profile, just rattled off some pat advice.
    By the way, your post isn't offensive. It's the truth.
  • brittanyjeanxo
    brittanyjeanxo Posts: 1,831 Member
    I agree with you, but I don't see the point in this post. It's great to get encouragement through this online community, but to rant about people you don't know is pointless. If you don't like what your "friends" post, then just block them. To tell us that most people on this site aren't doing what they should is offensive.

    And that's why she was kind enough to point out that it was a rant, and if you're easily offended, don't read it :)
  • RachelSRoach1
    RachelSRoach1 Posts: 435 Member
    Many of you make valid points. Understand I'm not doing this to make enemies.. just to make a point. I guess calling it a "rant" was bad form. I like to make people think.
  • datguy2011
    datguy2011 Posts: 477 Member
    Not sure how to take this.... some ppl ***** cause ppl talk about their diaries... some ppl ***** because ppl don't... hmm...
  • brittanyjeanxo
    brittanyjeanxo Posts: 1,831 Member
    So when I see someone post up that they ate only 850 cals or something my response is typically "Good job- just dont make this a regular thing". Personally I am getting tired of the people who think that an occasional sub-1200 post is some sort of earth shattering event that will cause the individual to keel over and die.

    Ugh, SO with you on that! It's kind of ridiculous. I have had so many messages out of the blue from non-friends who were looking at my diary and telling me I'm not eating enough. I keep it public still though, because I am open to criticism.
  • erzsebet_1560
    erzsebet_1560 Posts: 166
    I competely agree with you...I don't know how many times I've noticed "good job" on someone who has only eaten bread and water all day. But if I have completed my diary right on the mark of goal..I actually got a "tomorrow is a new day" like I had done something wrong. If you don't have time to actually look at the diary of the person you are posting on, then don't bother posting anything. You actually might unintentionally be congradulating someone with a eating disorder!

    lol that is sad.. but a little funny too, sorry.

    Yeah..I laughed a little too. I realized that this is the internet and I don't really "know" anyone. I just brush it off and move on. So when I get to post that I lost 2lbs this week...maybe that person will realize that I didn't have a "bad" day..LOL
  • Mamoonie
    Mamoonie Posts: 328
    I agree with you about not paying attention.

    I just can't stand people commenting a "wtg" or whatever, just because MFP says "under calorie goal". It's like they do it automatically, just because!
    Either you check out a situation (diary, goal, circumstances,...) and then make constructive comments, or you better stop it.

    I prefer to have 3 comments telling me what I did right or wrong over 100 comments saying "congrats".
    And that's exactly the way I behave towards people in my friends' list. If I don't have anything else to say than just "well done", I don't say anything. I might not appear as supportive or motivational as other people do, but I prefer to think about what I type, and why I type it.

    MM
  • RachelSRoach1
    RachelSRoach1 Posts: 435 Member
    So when I see someone post up that they ate only 850 cals or something my response is typically "Good job- just dont make this a regular thing". Personally I am getting tired of the people who think that an occasional sub-1200 post is some sort of earth shattering event that will cause the individual to keel over and die.

    Ugh, SO with you on that! It's kind of ridiculous. I have had so many messages out of the blue from non-friends who were looking at my diary and telling me I'm not eating enough. I keep it public still though, because I am open to criticism.

    I keep mine public in an effort to keep me accountable. By knowing that everyone can see.. I generally do better. But that is just me.
  • joseph9
    joseph9 Posts: 328 Member
    850 calories? Great job!!

    Um, that was your point, right? Your post was sort of long, so I skimmed it. ;-)
  • brittanyjeanxo
    brittanyjeanxo Posts: 1,831 Member
    We are not responsible for you eating poorly. I don't look anyone's diary but my own. I am responsible for me and only me. Good luck to you.

    I don't really think it's fair of you to imply that she was blaming others for her eating poorly. She just said that it seems people don't even bother to look at how she's done before they offer empty praise.

    Simple solution is make your diary private then. If you are eating under 1200, unless under a doctors order, is eating poorly and not caring for yourself. It's rude to call people mindless especially for your own mistakes. It's shifting the blame, plain and simple.

    No, not really. She actually made it a point to say that she knows what she did was no good, and found it strange that people were congratulating her WITHOUT looking at her diary. That was the point of her complaint, she felt that people were just congratulating her without even taking a look at what she ate. I think a better solution would be to delete the friends that give mindless praise, personally, rather than feeling like you have to hide your diary. Some people keep it open because they like the criticism, not the praise that was obviously hollowed. And so she generalized, and probably misworded. You can't honestly say that you've never generalized something when you were upset, and if you can, you're lying to yourself. It's basic human nature.
  • brittanyjeanxo
    brittanyjeanxo Posts: 1,831 Member
    So when I see someone post up that they ate only 850 cals or something my response is typically "Good job- just dont make this a regular thing". Personally I am getting tired of the people who think that an occasional sub-1200 post is some sort of earth shattering event that will cause the individual to keel over and die.

    Ugh, SO with you on that! It's kind of ridiculous. I have had so many messages out of the blue from non-friends who were looking at my diary and telling me I'm not eating enough. I keep it public still though, because I am open to criticism.

    I keep mine public in an effort to keep me accountable. By knowing that everyone can see.. I generally do better. But that is just me.

    That's another reason I keep mine open. I feel like, if I'm the only one that can see what I'm eating, I'll have more room for mistakes than if my friends and even strangers can see it.
  • caroltina
    caroltina Posts: 453 Member
    If u only add people who you know or have helped u I think your problem would reduce, you have the solution to this problem - block function, my attitude is don't moan - act . You hold the solution to your own rant
  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Posts: 1,740 Member
    I know where you are coming from but........


    I keep my diary private, I make private notes in mine (that I'm not willing to share!) and if folk don't want to comment on a closed diary then i'm fine with it so i'm guessing that those that do comment do so on trust which is how i comment...i'm trusting the folks on my list to do THEIR BEST and that is all I will ever ask of any of them. Their best may not be up to someone elses standards but i'm a firm believer in do not judge unless you KNOW the full story/history.

    Personally I would like to see a calories goal say 1150-1250 calories (lowest) and when completed within that range your notification would be

    "AnnEBody completed her food and exercise diary for 08/25/2011 and was within her calorie range" That way we would not be praising under calories and what could potentially be under by 100s of calories
  • jazzy020106
    jazzy020106 Posts: 485 Member
    I agree, people should pay attention. Im sure the people who do that have good intentions!
  • cnegbuonu
    cnegbuonu Posts: 4 Member
    I completely agree with you. I have been horrified at people congratulating others for "accomplishments" that I would consider as "going overboard" with the dieting. I would just complain to my friends offline, but would never actually post something to the person to the effect that what they are doing seems dangerous, and that they should try to eat more calories. Anyhow, I applaud your honesty!!!
  • helenoftroy1
    helenoftroy1 Posts: 638 Member
    I think I'm really lucky then with my friends because God Forbid if I complete my diary at a 1000 calories! I get at least 10 comments saying I need more food, not enough protein etc. My friends are fab and the ones that do comment on my diary I know actually look at it and analyse it and I do the same back.
    I did see someone commenting on one of my friends diary the other day that had been completed at 250 calories with the comment WTG. That made my blood boil a little!
  • pattymayo
    pattymayo Posts: 4
    "And that's why she was kind enough to point out that it was a rant, and if you're easily offended, don't read it :)"

    I read it because I'd like to know what's got this person so upset...over a journaling website?? Really? If she wants "real" support, maybe she should find a real-life friend and go work out with them! I can't believe that people really put so much time and energy into ranting on a web site like I'm doing right now.

    And I felt like putting my two cents in...just like everyone else in cyber world. Everyone's brave online, didn't you know?
  • Bebisc
    Bebisc Posts: 8
    I actually do agree. That's why I don't talk about this issue with my day to day friends because if it doesn't interest them they tend not to listen. I joined mpf because the people here are dealing with the same weight issues I am. I don't intend to add too many friends because I believe I would just neglect most of them due to amout of time I have to read and respond to their post. Those of us who have struggled with weight for years need to pay attention to what is said or we want be able to really help each other. Thanks for reminding me to be considerate.
  • MrsGriffin67
    MrsGriffin67 Posts: 485 Member
    I think I'm really lucky then with my friends because God Forbid if I complete my diary at a 1000 calories! I get at least 10 comments saying I need more food, not enough protein etc. My friends are fab and the ones that do comment on my diary I know actually look at it and analyse it and I do the same back.
    I did see someone commenting on one of my friends diary the other day that had been completed at 250 calories with the comment WTG. That made my blood boil a little!

    My best friend of almost 30 yrs does the same thing. Eats barely anything then exercises like hell. I keep getting on her for it but she doesn't seem to listen. I hate when people say "WTG" or "Great Job" without even looking.
  • Genem30
    Genem30 Posts: 431 Member
    Maybe it should say "completed his/her food and exercise diary for xx/xx/xxxx and was under his/her calorie goal, but didn't eat enough! Let the scolding and berating begin!"
  • leslielt
    leslielt Posts: 113 Member
    really that would be annoying if my friends sat there and analyzed everything I ate, but to each there own. :glasses:
  • lilyinlove
    lilyinlove Posts: 441 Member
    We are not responsible for you eating poorly. I don't look anyone's diary but my own. I am responsible for me and only me. Good luck to you.


    this
  • brewingaz
    brewingaz Posts: 1,136 Member
    Why let them view the diary then? I had my diary private for a long time, and only since two days ago have I made it available to view. But I deleted like 100 friends before I did it ha ha, and keep my list down to like 31 people. Some people just praise the logging because that's a great tool and great habit to create.
  • kiesh82
    kiesh82 Posts: 131 Member
    I understand your point. But it's unreasonable to expect everybody to read everybody else's food diary every day. Seriously.
  • ShapeUpSidney
    ShapeUpSidney Posts: 1,092 Member
    I understand your point. But it's unreasonable to expect everybody to read everybody else's food diary every day. Seriously.

    Sure, but if you can't take the time to evaluate whether or not praise is actually deserved...why offer it in the first place?

    I have noticed before that someone is under their calorie goal, and they ate absolute **** all day. Like 2 oreos, mac n cheese, and maybe a ham sandwhich and NOTHING else. I need to double check on them, because if that's a pattern, I can't really be supportive of them.
  • jridgway49
    jridgway49 Posts: 79
    Sometimes people are only suppose to get 800 cals per day. My diet from doctor recommends that i get 800-1000 cals per day. So you never know what someones specific situation is. There are many different reasons why and individual may need less. While it is not recommended, i think its different if you are under a doctors supervision.
  • ShapeUpSidney
    ShapeUpSidney Posts: 1,092 Member
    really that would be annoying if my friends sat there and analyzed everything I ate, but to each there own. :glasses:

    and I kind of feel this way too...but I realize that by making my diary public, I am inviting it. I try to suck it up!
  • jridgway49
    jridgway49 Posts: 79
    I so agree, I'm kinda getting tired of people saying you have to eat 1200 and not any less. My Doc said for my size 800 to 1000 is what I should have, so people need to stop telling people they are in starve mode because we are not !!
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    We are not responsible for you eating poorly. I don't look anyone's diary but my own. I am responsible for me and only me. Good luck to you.

    1. I noticed the Bible verses in the sig (against forum rules btw) also, the Bible says that we are our brother's keepers, so you might want to reevaluate your theory.

    2. OP, well said. I come from an ED background and my friends know it, I can't be praised for being far under my calorie goal, its is dangerous, I'm often told to eat more, or told well done for logging honestly, but never for eating 500 cals a day.
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    WTG! Great job! :happy:
This discussion has been closed.

Categories