Things people say when you lose weight

I was at a planning meeting for a dive trip, and I ran into some folks I hadn't seen in a year. I got to the shop early to transact some business, and there was one fellow there that's been on the trip several times. I caught myself asking if he'd lost some weight because he looked better. I didn't "catch" myself until it was out of my mouth. He said yes, and I told him it showed, and he looked better. He smiled and said about 21 down and 50 to go. It was actually nice to make the connection.

The guy I drove down with also was there. He looked like he had lost some weight, but I didn't say anything. During the meeting, someone suggested that if some folks had lost a bit of weight, and especially if they are going to be diving with a drysuit, to make sure their neck seals are still the right size. This person raise his hand when the announcement was made, so I figured it would be ok to breach the topic at the end of the meeting. Again, it was a nice way to connect with someone I know but don't see often. He also had lost about 20. He's using another app that I won't mention because it's a violation of the terms of service to mention other weight loss apps here I told him I'm using MFP.

I had brought my drysuit in to get a new neck seal proactively. It probably would be good for another 25 dives or more (I don't plan to do more than 24 dives on this trip), but a blown seal on the boat is not a fun thing (reminds me of a joke; ask me on my profile). It can be repaired, but the glue takes a day to dry -- no diving without exposure protection! Anyway, the woman who had made the comment about neck seals for people who lost weight made a point to ask what size I was getting. I told her, and she was concerned, so I tried on the size I thought I needed. The guy who does work on drysuits said it was PLENTY tight, and even after stretching, might need some trimming. I hate trimming my neck seals, so I'll just leave it as-is. And it's the right size. But it was nice to hear from folks who noticed my change over the last couple years.

None of the comments -- mine or others -- were taken with any other context than they were offered. I think we're all happy for each other. Being a healthy weight supports so many other aspects of life. Diving is an activity where many of the participants are overweight or more. Some WAY more. Part of that, I think, is that once in the water, you are neutrally buoyant. I can only imagine how great that must feel if you are carrying 50 or 100 pounds more than your frame wants to support. Still -- the health implications of being overweight put divers at risk of medical issues at depth, and nobody wants that. It's actually good to see the dive industry taking notice and encouraging divers to get healthy and stay healthy. And I think everyone in the conversations at the meeting were glad to hear others noticed. Smiles all around!

I was having a medical procedure recently and the doc asked me of any eating/dietary or weight changes that i had noticed. I said "Yes, I've lost 34 lbs!" He said "Deliberately ? and why?". To which I replied, "Well I was too fat". Followed by "I talk a lot when I am nervous". The doc smiled, and said well done.....then carried out the procedure. I am also well aware of my resting HR due to fitbit - the monitor was showing a very elevated HR due to nerves - I told the doc that too. He must have thought I was mad :-)

Diatonic12 wrote: »

@Deanner03 Splurge or Cheat Meals all amount to the same thing in my estimation. Cheat Meals can lead to cheat weeks and cheat months. It can all come undone. People will say...you don't want to get too skinny now but that's mostly just blowback. Not everyone has our best interests at heart, I've learned that along the way. Some are even secretly saying it won't belong before she eats it all back. You know they've never been able to stick with anything for very long.

No one has to live in our body and I refuse to let them. Let all of it roll off like water off a duck's back and keep tooling along.

I agree with this wholeheartedly. I'm ALREADY hearing "you're going to be too skinny." Yeah...I have a good 30lbs to lose before I hit a "normal" BMI. Then I hear "but you have a large frame!" No, I don't. It's normal sized. I've seen it on x-ray. I just let it roll. I think MOST people actually mean well, but I know my own body.

I have lost about 16 pounds, not much but not a word from any one. I am happy with the loss.

I do think that even the positive comments can be really harmful. It can often make us feel that we are more worthy now than before (we always were!) and can reinforce unhealthy behaviours. When I am starving myself and people are congratulating me, it’s encouraging me to continue but not really helpful. I thibk generally we shouldn’t comment on people’s weight but if we want to it SHOULD start with “is it intentional? Do you feel you’re doing it in a healthy way?” And then decide to congratulate or support.

I suppose now that its more obvious, I get mostly compliments and encouragement, couple of awkward remarks or even this uncomfortable silence, and of course, the questions that are a little too personal or direct for the time/place.

I must admit, and those with long road ahead of them, take note; I’ve lost over 200 pounds in the last 10 years, I’m on my last ten pounds to lose, and know what? Sometimes I feel as heavy as the day I took my 1st step on this journey. My actual size, and my actual perception of my size are two very different animals, I have learned. Even with my weight-related health problems, couple which can never be reversed, seems my mind has taken the brunt of the impact all those years, has a stronger will to remain intact than my body. Don’t put all your faith into being “thin” for the sake of being “thin”. My biggest observation has been, 420 pounds or 120 pounds, some can never be light enough, no matter what people tell them.

Back to the question. The biggest pain in the neck is those who absolutely have to tell you HOW to lose weight, how they did it, how their aunt did it, how their dog did it and how you should try it to. And stay away from this and that and well, you get it.

LouVee186000 wrote: »

rlfrausto wrote: »

I have lost about 16 pounds, not much but not a word from any one. I am happy with the loss.

I get that -- it wasn't until I hit the 50 lb mark that I started getting a few comments at the office. I figured by that time nobody was going to say anything, which was fine by me. (And when they asked me "how much have you lost" I didn't give a number, I just said "a lot.")

Lol someone recently approached me at work and was like "you must've lost 50 lbs by now, that's awesome"

I laughed and they started apologizing and said they just thought of a big number and sorry if they offended me.

I had to explain that I was within a couple of pounds of hitting 150 lbs of total loss