WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2019
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I went back and tucked some pics of us into the spoiler, if you're interested, one while we were dating, two of the wedding, and one taken last Christmas. I still grin like that any time I'm around him.
Later, y'all,
Lisa in AR7 -
Lisa ... I've read your story before ... and I read it again! I just love a good love story.
KarenVA ... how could anyone "disagree" with your post? I'm glad to know that you have someone who loves and cares for you.
I went off the rails eating today and I'm paying for it right now with a stomach ache. Purely emotional eating at its worst. I'm done now though ..
Beth near Buffalo where I had to turn on the furnace and I'm wearing a sweater inside ...5 -
Beth Awwwww! Thanks, Beth! xoxo Sorry for your tummy ache. I have had those days.2
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Claire ~ Welcome!
sh0tzz99 ~ What shall we call you?
Carol in GA2 -
Claire from TX: Welcome to a great group of women. Stop by often to give and get support. :flowerforyou:
Lisa: Love your tale of love and romance. The best part is that it isn’t fiction.
Barbara: Happy Anniversary! :flowerforyou:
Karen in VA: Your post is thoughtful and revealing. You’re lucky to have a partner with kindness and the ability to understand your needs. :bigsmile:
My left shoulder and arm are finally feeling a bit better. Power-washing is good. Being stupid about it gets you a sore shoulder. Lesson learned. I hope I remember it the next time I wash the boat—or the deck here at the house.
Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon
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KetoneKaren wrote: »Barbara, AHMOD Happy Anniversary!!!
Lanette LOL!!! Keep us posted regarding your communication w/Elon.
Lisa That's a beautiful love story. I'm misty-eyed.
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I think the issue of spouses/partners who are emotionally distant is a thorny one. No partner can meet every need, however, I am fortunate that my partner has figured out some small ways to consistently show her ongoing support for me. I have a comforter that I pull over my lap late at night as I unwind in my recliner after a long work shift. Although she is sound asleep by the time I come home, there is a lamp on, my comforter is clean & folded near my chair, and the TV remote is within reach. She asks if she can make me a cup of tea or coffee almost every morning. She does my laundry, and she has taken responsibility for ordering all the supplies for the dogs. She keeps the deck clean/blown off and the birds fed. She does part of the household shopping and part of the yardwork. She is very good at figuring out what gifts to give me, and because I don't want more "stuff", she really has to be observant (a new pair of badly needed Crocs was my last birthday gift). She gently bugs me about mammograms & colonoscopies, but not too much (I am current on both). To top it off, we travel well together & collaborate well on most projects. I won't mention the things that drive me up a wall. I am certainly no picnic to live with. I know I am fortunate, and if either of us becomes infirm, the balance will change, but for now it works very well. There is something to be said for having a female partner, I think. I have had both.
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It will be interesting to see if I get a "Disagree" on this post, LOL! For the record, it wasn't me who "Disagreed" with Vicki or Pip.
Karen in Virginia
Karen - I confess. It was ME who accidentally hit the disagree button. Fat fingers! Was attempting to eat a bowl of chili, balance the dog and tablet all on my lap at the same time. Sorry ladies, all fixed now. Heck, I should disagree with myself, lol. I think you have found the perfect partner. She could probably give our DH's some lessons!
Lisa - thank you for posting your romantic Corey story. Like a teenage love affair only better, lol. Thank you for adding the photos.....Corey is a total hunk!!! And fixing the car tail-light.... who could ask for more?
Here's a funny - my DH doesn't like me to try to chat with him while he's watching his favorite reruns on TV (Karen in NY - I had to laugh about your and your DH having a conversation in the car. SAME HERE!) Anyhow the past few nights I had the earbuds in and eyes glued onto the tablet where I was watching the "Top of the Lake". I noticed a couple times he looked at me, kind of puzzled. I think he was feeling ignored.
That's a wrap, supermodels. Carry on.
Lanette
SW WA State where we are expecting thunderstorms to roll thru this afternoon. Like it!
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Lanette ... if it makes you feel better ... I went and hit the "disagree" button to see if I had accidentally hit it and then immediately removed the second disagree when I saw it wasn't me ...4
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Something about me: I grew up with an ordinary family that moved around every two years thanks to the Coast Guard. Moving so often, I made few attachments to people and greater attachments to books and dancing. My first marriage was to a man who turned out to be a bum. My description of the marriage is that he broke my heart, robbed me blind, and left. When last heard of, he was a lonely old man living in a trailer on his daughter's property. I met Jake when I wasn't looking and he has turned out to be the love of my life. Jake has children and I don't. I've helped raise them but don't feel a huge closeness to them or to their children. I have battled with my weight all my life going back to "The Special K Diet" that my mother imposed on my sister and me when we were teenagers. In 2009 my husband was introduced to Isagenix by his chiropractor. He needed to plan a 400-600 calorie meal each day and when I sought help on the internet for calorie count in foods, I found MFP. I'd never posted online about anything and I'd always rebelled at the idea of keeping track of my food as a weight loss tool. I tried doing both and my life changed. My rules at the beginning were to be open minded to new ideas take baby steps, and seek every opportunity to be active. Thanks to that, I created new habits, read amazing books that helped me change my life, made new friends, and found the strength to walk gracefully through many bumps in the road (surgery and illness for both me and Jake,a move to a new house. and the deaths of two beloved pets). My life is simple and I love it this way. I walk my dogs every morning for at least two hours and shorter times in the afternoon and evening. I go to line dance classes two mornings a week, I ride my recumbent exercise bike for several hours a day while watching TV, I do some simple gardening, and yard work. I am home with my husband most of the day because his health keeps him more sedentary and I want to spend as much time with him as I can. I gave up cooking and baking as recreation and avoid recreational eating. I've put in a lot of energy lately to clearing clutter in my house and living intentionally. "Hubby, dogs, dancing--who could ask for anything more"
Barbie in NW WA
Thanks for this, Barbie. I also wanted to let you know that your example is a great inspiration to me. I love how you balance taking care of yourself with helping your husband feel valued and loved. And I also would love to live more intentionally, free of clutter.
Felicia
Willamette Valley, Oregon6 -
Felicia - I live with the same kind of man....doesn't really have much empathy for me or anyone else. So, I feel I am not allowed to have any sort of "episode," get upset about anything or have any type of strong reaction to anything. If I do, he "punishes" me for days by essentially ignoring me...which is better sometimes. He actually used to be somewhat empathetic with me, but not anymore. I guess it has a time limit.
Virtual hugs to all who need them and even if you don't need them.
My husband is the same way. I know exactly what you're experiencing!
He was diagnosed with Aspergers later in life and that cleared up a lot about who he is and why he behaves/reacts the way he does. Currently dealing with the fact that I don't feel he's emotionally connected to me. He agrees.Now what!? Having turned 60 in January I'm questioning if I want to spend my remaining years with an emotionally distant partner!? We love each other dearly so this is painful. But a heart can only take so much! Sigh....
Cheri
Tx
I have suspected that my husband may also be on the spectrum. But there's been no diagnosis. I have more patience with him if I just function as if he is.
Cheri I am sorry you are having to make such a painful choice at this stage of life.
Felicia
Willamette Valley, Oregon6 -
KetoneKaren wrote: »
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I think the issue of spouses/partners who are emotionally distant is a thorny one. No partner can meet every need, however, I am fortunate that my partner has figured out some small ways to consistently show her ongoing support for me. I have a comforter that I pull over my lap late at night as I unwind in my recliner after a long work shift. Although she is sound asleep by the time I come home, there is a lamp on, my comforter is clean & folded near my chair, and the TV remote is within reach. She asks if she can make me a cup of tea or coffee almost every morning. She does my laundry, and she has taken responsibility for ordering all the supplies for the dogs. She keeps the deck clean/blown off and the birds fed. She does part of the household shopping and part of the yardwork. She is very good at figuring out what gifts to give me, and because I don't want more "stuff", she really has to be observant (a new pair of badly needed Crocs was my last birthday gift). She gently bugs me about mammograms & colonoscopies, but not too much (I am current on both). To top it off, we travel well together & collaborate well on most projects. I won't mention the things that drive me up a wall. I am certainly no picnic to live with. I know I am fortunate, and if either of us becomes infirm, the balance will change, but for now it works very well. There is something to be said for having a female partner, I think. I have had both.
Karen in Virginia
Thanks for sharing this, Karen. I sometimes idealize same-sex relationships thinking that they don't have as many problems as different-sex relationships. I know you must also have relationship issues, of course, but I did get a little teary-eyed reading your loving description of your relationship, especially the part about the blanket and remote -- that's just paying attention, and so many people do not pay attention to what will make their partner feel loved and appreciated.
Felicia
Willamette Valley, Oregon8 -
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Did a Functional Intensity Training DVD. The plan for tomorrow is to take the water class.
I think I’ll probably leave the water class a bit early since I totally forgot that I was going there. Want to also hit the Salvation Army then see if Vince’s bread is at Big Lots. Anyway, one lady is coming back to the Green Room after a year and she feels a bit intimidated, so I told her I’d go there before the soup kitchen just to be with her while she takes phone calls.
Need to go to the library and have them put Overdrive back on (they did it a while ago and I honestly don’t remember how they did it). Our old tablets are so old that the data can’t be transferred from the old to the new. Well, I don’t have many apps that I’ll need to redownload. The main ones I use on my table are Overdrive and hoopla.
Debbie VA – I’m just in North Carolina and have 3 spare bedrooms (well, one is filled with Jess’ things but the other two are totally empty). Come for a visit and the way the weather is going, a swim or just the hot tub.
Gingerbeer – you are so so lucky to have such a gorgeous area so near you
It’s 95 today and I’m listening to TSO Christmas songs. Well, it’s supposed to be in the 70’s this Saturday. Crazy
KJ – Oh, I hear ya about making the baby food. But I also know Denise and she’s not going to do it. Maybe Pete will and then freeze it. Honestly, I don’t know that he’ll think of freezing it. Denise doesn’t even use her IP! I can’t wait to get mine. I also have the jars bought so I can make the yogurt. I make most of the food at home mainly so that I know what’s going into the food. I’ve gotten to the point where I can really detect the salt in restaurant food. Pete talks about organic food, but remember when I was there he said that he had organic things and he had things like peanutbutter, pancake mix, crackers -- nothing organic. So I guess we shall see. I suspect he wants things exactly like they were. Only everything changes, the only thing constant is change.
Barbie – thanks for your bio. I honestly didn’t realize that you’d been married before! You may have said it and I just don’t remember (not unusual)
JR – maybe you can have JR count M&M’s, put them in piles by certain colors, then as a reward he can eat them!
Katla - When will you DIL be visiting?
Roasted 2 spaghetti squashes last night. MMMMM
Ginger – thanks for the smile
Barbara – happy anniversary
Welcome everyone new!
The one thing I don’t like about those “hug” “disagree” etc buttons is that you can’t see who disagreed, liked, or what ever
Michele in NC
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Does anyone know if there is a way to copy just one item from a meal?
Michele NC1 -
😂😂😂
Lanette: I have hit that darned button a few times myself, so was going to go back and check if it was me when I read your confession!
Lisa: 🥰🥰🥰 so romantic! And what a hunk!3 -
Beth the heat is on and you are inside wearing a sweater . Autumn in NY has arrived. Soon the thermostat wars will begin between me and DH.
Anybody enjoy roasted sweet potato? I find it is a perfect sweet treat and doesn’t trigger my over eating, just satisfying- only need to eat half and that includes the peel—no added butter either. It is very satisfying. I do like seasonal eating, apples, butternut squash, stews and chili once the weather turns colder.
Lisa love a true love story, especially when written so beautifully
Karen va. What’s that called “love language “?? or something that lets you recognize other ways partners let you know they care? So critical to recognize all the different ways people express themselves.
NYKAREN6 -
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Heather - wishing you a very happy birthday. You look fabulous.
Exermom - Yup. I am now officially retired and am constantly wondering how I ever found the time to work.
Fun day in the glass studio yesterday. I'm busy making ornaments because I am taking off in the middle of November and won't be back until the end of the first week in December. That really cuts my ornament time down so I've got to make them now. Did I have my glass in an art gallery the last time I was around here? Well, I do now. I don't cover my expenses so I still consider it a hobby, but the gallery brings in what I spend on color a year so it's something in my pocket. The big plus as far as my husband is concerned is that I'm slowly getting rid of glass that has accumulated over the years.
I got a lovely sewing machine from my husband and MIL for Christmas almost 3 years ago. I declared I would never become a quilter. Well, guess who has finished her first quilt. I have 2 more in progress. So much for saying never.
Here's my beloved cat sitting on my quilt.
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A good friend of mine says that looking for empathy from your husband is like going to the hardware store looking for lemonade9
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Lisa - I love your love story. The next time I am on the market (enjoying being single right now) I will have to try the "wave".
Karen - Your partner sounds wonderful. Your story brings fond memories of my DH, Charlie. I still miss all of the little things he used to do for me and it has been almost 11 years. I don't think orientation matters - I think it's finding the person who balances you as much as you balance them.
Best to all.
SuziQ - Broward County, FL6
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