Free Therapy: Another Open Letter!
Replies
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Dear Hot Girl on the Treadmill,
You will not burn more calories by putting the incline on 15, and then holding on for dear life. Can you not see your body is in an unnatural position? When you walk up hill you are not leaning backwards............you are leaning forwards.
If you would like to get a good cardio workout, and engage your core at the same time, put the incline on 6 or 7 and let GO for crying out loud!
Signed,
Not a Know it All.....But do know THIS!0 -
Dear Winter,
Please, please, please go away. I will look forward to your approach next December or so, but I am so tired of snow. You have been particularly brutal this year, and I am ready for sunshine, warmth and green things growing again. Please make this your last hurrah for the year and go get rest up for next year. You don't need to remind us you are lurking any more. We appreciate the moisture, the farmers appreciate that there will be moisture in the soil for planting, etc. But the 9 degrees and 5 - 6 inches of snow are OLD!! Thanks for your consideration and cooperation in the matter!
Sincerely,
Montanan needing spring/summer to arrive so I can b*tch about it being too rainy then too hot
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Dear GTO_Judge,
I gave up negative thoughts and talking about people for Lent. So far it's not going well. At all. Thanks for starting this thread (even though it was months ago!) so that I can come here to read other people's frustrations and live vicariously through them! You're the greatest. :flowerforyou:
Sincerely,
Counting Down the Days til Easter0 -
Dear Husband,
Instead of slapping the living daylights out of you, I thought it would be best to write here instead.
I would just like to tell you to SHUT UP already about what I eat!!!! For instance, when we have rice for dinner and I have a WHOLE cup...don't make a comment about it. I HAVE already accounted for EVERYTHING on my plate. You do not need to point out that I have a whole cup of rice & you have maybe a half cup.
Would you open your flippin' eyes and see what else YOU have on your plate. Yeah, I may have MORE rice than you but I didn't add 4 tablespoons of butter to mine...nor did I indulge in half a jar of tartar sauce for my baked fish. Yeah, I finished before you..but I had ONE piece of fish..and ONE roll...not 3. Maybe you are trying to make yourself feel better or what-not but it's getting OLD..FAST!!! So yeah...just shush..or next me you WILL be wearing my rice!
Your Loving Wife.:bigsmile:0 -
Dear Driver of the early 90’s Cyan Corvette with the license plate “IV play”
The one who insists on cutting me off EVERY day on my way to work, right before we both turn left onto Deerfield road…
(what a Manly color by the way! Way to go A-hole)
I get the fact that you have a Corvette, and that may entitle you to a little more prestige on the road but it does not give you the right to be an *kitten* in the morning when all I want to do is get to work in one piece. I also get the fact that my “college kid” 1996 Nissan pathfinder with 100,000 miles on it does not look as pretty as your CYAN Corvette, but so help me God if you cut me off again I will ram my Nissan so far up your Corvettes rear-end your horn will be spitting exhaust fumes from your ugly Chevy shaped exhaust pipes…
The Dude in your rear view mirror that may be larger than he appears!
That feels nice…
Dear Neighbor, who continually torments my dog… Yes you the guy who mows his lawn with daisy dukes, you might find it funny that your kid has taken up the same nasty habit as you, of tormenting my dog by throwing balls against my fence, and hitting a stick on it as you walk by… YOU and your son are the ONLY two human beings that my dog growls at, she does not bark because she is a husky, and they would rather howl however, she growls like there is no tomorrow and she has some wicked looking teeth when she shows them to you… and yes you are the only two humans who have ever had the privilege of seeing them… I do not torment that Rat that you call a dog, every time it barks (yaps) at me and charges across your yard “UNLEASHED” mind you and nips at my heels… I respect the fact that your dog is a member of your family and you love it (although I do not know why one would love a RAT) it is your dog. Respect the fact that my dog feels like she OWNS the fence that you insist on hitting, which in turn pi$$es her off… I might be inclined one of these days allow my dog to eat your dog, which I am almost guarantee she can do, without chewing too much… I have denied her the satisfaction thus far, don’t push your rats luck…
Your very Angry Neighbor
To the person who continues to complain about my posts
Instead of getting offended by something I say here is a novelty Idea… DON’T read ANYTHING written by me. I am pretty sure I have gained the reputation as being the “Bad Boy” on this website but that’s just ME, love me or Hate me either way I do not care, Just do NOT think that by complaining you will stop me from posting off the wall and outlandish things… I do not complain about your posts… nor would I even contemplate complaining about them.
YES I know Tam I should just give up already… I will after this rant…
Thank you,
The Bad Boy0 -
Dear Annoying Pomeranian Dog Across the Back Yard;
SHUT THE HELL UP..really now...what are you barking at? There is nobody in my backyard and you look in my backyard and bark nonstop. Your owner seems to think that by clapping his hands at you, you will stop. It's not working. You drive me around the bend. I seriously do not know how you can bark for so long without getting laryngitis or some sort of bark muting condition that I wish was out there. I am seriously considering slipping you one of my pain killers in a hot dog so that you sleep for a week or 2. Do you think that you are being cute? Well you aren't. You aren't even a cute dog to begin with and this barking of yours is really not doing a thing for you. Enough is enough already...zip your chops dog.
Sincerely,
Your fed up neighbour0 -
Dear Annoying Pomeranian Dog Across the Back Yard;
SHUT THE HELL UP..really now...what are you barking at? There is nobody in my backyard and you look in my backyard and bark nonstop. Your owner seems to think that by clapping his hands at you, you will stop. It's not working. You drive me around the bend. I seriously do not know how you can bark for so long without getting laryngitis or some sort of bark muting condition that I wish was out there. I am seriously considering slipping you one of my pain killers in a hot dog so that you sleep for a week or 2. Do you think that you are being cute? Well you aren't. You aren't even a cute dog to begin with and this barking of yours is really not doing a thing for you. Enough is enough already...zip your chops dog.
Sincerely,
Your fed up neighbour
I can solve your problem... TWO WORDS
Paintball Gun
enough said!0 -
Dear Marines Who Work Next Door,
When I walk in the basement on my lunch hour and I see you going about your daily business my heart rate instantly spikes. My heart rate monitor is very confused and I think that you're messing up my exercise calorie count. You're all extremely good looking and when you wear your 'dress blues' I have to cut my walk short for fear that I will slip in a puddle of my own drool. You're all very polite and I enjoy that you hold the door open for me when I walk by. You make my day!
Sincerely,
The Girl Who Now Enjoys Exercising on Her Lunch Hour
...ps... Thanks for your service to our country. You're all amazing and I pray for you each night.0 -
Dear Marines Who Work Next Door,
When I walk in the basement on my lunch hour and I see you going about your daily business my heart rate instantly spikes. My heart rate monitor is very confused and I think that you're messing up my exercise calorie count. You're all extremely good looking and when you wear your 'dress blues' I have to cut my walk short for fear that I will slip in a puddle of my own drool. You're all very polite and I enjoy that you hold the door open for me when I walk by. You make my day!
Sincerely,
The Girl Who Now Enjoys Exercising on Her Lunch Hour
...ps... Thanks for your service to our country. You're all amazing and I pray for you each night.
OK, that really cracked me up! Even as an old married ladey
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Dear Max,
You have been shunned indefinitely.
Regards,
Mireille0 -
Dear Max,
You have been shunned indefinitely.
Regards,
Mireille
Poor Max, he stays in trouble! 0 -
Dear American clothing companies,
I would REALLY appreciate it if you stopped screwing with my head. A size 8 in Company A's jeans is NOT the same as a size 8 in Company B's jeans. In the same breath, "bootcut" size 8 in Company A's jeans is NOT THE SAME as "straight leg" SIZE 8 in the same company! You losers.
While we're at it, let's tackle bathing suits. Why why why on God's green earth must you be such a buzz kill. I go from literally doing a happy dance in the fitting room in my size 8's that FIT to nearly in tears b/c your bathing suit sizes SUCK. Let's face it...YOU suck. You are designed to make women cry. Someday you will be defeated. Someday.
Regards,
The girl that actually liked shopping today...for at least part of the time...0 -
Dear American clothing companies,
I would REALLY appreciate it if you stopped screwing with my head. A size 8 in Company A's jeans is NOT the same as a size 8 in Company B's jeans. In the same breath, "bootcut" size 8 in Company A's jeans is NOT THE SAME as "straight leg" SIZE 8 in the same company! You losers.
While we're at it, let's tackle bathing suits. Why why why on God's green earth must you be such a buzz kill. I go from literally doing a happy dance in the fitting room in my size 8's that FIT to nearly in tears b/c your bathing suit sizes SUCK. Let's face it...YOU suck. You are designed to make women cry. Someday you will be defeated. Someday.
Regards,
The girl that actually liked shopping today...for at least part of the time...
Yeah, WTH??:mad: :mad:
I am size 8 petite jeans........go for a new suit and only the 12s fit??? You would think they would be smarter than that!!! I didnt buy one!!!
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Dear Fate, or Karma or Whatever Your Real Name Is,
Is there an Owner's Manual to this life of mine, did I lose it somewhere in the birth canal, or is everything on this level of reality a crap shoot?
I followed all the rules and advice I've received from books, girlfriends, TV and Dr. Phil-type people along my life's way. I was completely loyal, lived to serve, cared deeply, sacrificed all that was asked and a lot that wasn't, once gave my entire paycheck from my second job at Christmas time to cover a husband's gambling debt and went without lunch at work because I was broke, maxed out my credit cards and got more to pay for vacations at the Beach for step children, husband's child support payments, step childrens' braces, glasses and Christmas gifts, spent more Saturdays with step children than I did with their dad, worried like a mother, cried like a child because my feelings got hurt so much, took all the abuse that was dished out and stayed in the game, fought back and lost the battle, but nothing seems to have earned me the promise of a soul mate. Other women have their soul mate, I've read their stories in magazines, heard them talking at work, and saw for myself the loving spouse holding their hand in the malls. But, no matter how many hoops I jumped through to please, it never seemed to be enough and the young, thin, beautiful, sexy girl that I once was is now the broken spirited, lonely, unattractive old woman that I am and I know that the man who calls me wife, now, isn't my soul mate either. I can't think of anything that was asked of me that I didn't do, nor anything that was expected of me that I didn't fulfill, yet, I keep getting the men who are looking for a maid, housekeeper, babysitter and extra income, not a life partner, not a soul mate.
Do you have a quota of 'losers' to fill or are you an equal opportunity Force?
I'm too old to keep looking, now. I'll have to settle for what I have because at my age all I would attract would be potential patients looking for a nurse, but, I was just wondering if I was late when you were passing out tickets for happily-ever-after. I heard that all of Walt Disney's girls got a ticket and I was wondering if you might have accidentally given one of them my ticket. Not accusing, just wondering.
Well, you know where I live if you have any extra 'get out of jail, free' cards. I'll be the gray-haired, heavy woman doing all the housework, yard work, pet care, maid service, cooking, appointment documenting, nursing, errand running, waitressing, problem handling, inventory clerking, message taking, and general new hoop jumping for that last 'charming' fellow you hooked me up with.
Please don't dilly-daly because this one may just be the death of me.
Stephaneyh0 -
:noway: OMGosh, I live across the street from a family who have a dog EXACTLY like you described. It's black and it never shuts up when it's outside and I have been wondering how on EARTH the people in the house beside them can stand it. The owner is a yard nut and works his two kids like slaves when he has a project going and the stupid dog keeps getting out and the daughter is made to go running after it.
I sit in my sun room and have to listen to that horrible little dog every time it's yapping and I wonder why the people who live beside them doesn't complain. The people on the OTHER side of them have two obnoxious beagles who raise H--- all the time, so, I KNOW why THEY don't say anything.
Stephaneyh0 -
Dear Husband,
Instead of slapping the living daylights out of you, I thought it would be best to write here instead.
I would just like to tell you to SHUT UP already about what I eat!!!! For instance, when we have rice for dinner and I have a WHOLE cup...don't make a comment about it. I HAVE already accounted for EVERYTHING on my plate. You do not need to point out that I have a whole cup of rice & you have maybe a half cup.
Would you open your flippin' eyes and see what else YOU have on your plate. Yeah, I may have MORE rice than you but I didn't add 4 tablespoons of butter to mine...nor did I indulge in half a jar of tartar sauce for my baked fish. Yeah, I finished before you..but I had ONE piece of fish..and ONE roll...not 3. Maybe you are trying to make yourself feel better or what-not but it's getting OLD..FAST!!! So yeah...just shush..or next me you WILL be wearing my rice!
Your Loving Wife.:bigsmile:
Dearest husband~
I may just have to borrow, print and post this on our bathroom mirror! I think I married losing_it's husband's twin! The only thing I may add is that if I hear "Is that your little sister's shirt?" one more
time...or the next time you accuse me of "shrinking your wardrobe"...I'm an only child and you are gaining weight my darling...we can work on the weight together but that ugly there you have on the inside...you need to work on alone , I wouldn't know where to start!
Love me0 -
Dear Uncle Sam a.k.a. IRS,
I could not believe the 3 letters you sent to my home today. I wonder how it is you can say that I owe all the $ you say I owe. Is it fair that you change my tax return without my permission? Is it fair that you go through and decide that the taxable income is 10K more then my accountant and your IRS advisor told me it was. I wonder what it was that you did not agree with on my return, as you clearly think I made $ hand over fist for 2 years......was it my mileage? Wait was it the cost of professional services? Oh I know.........Was it the $ I DONATED to the United States Mission?????
I do plan to visit my local IRS office to see how you decided to make me pay more taxes on income that didn't even keep my head above water.....and then on top of these 2 letters you add insult to injury by sending a check to my fiancee'...........
Uncle Sam, I know the state of the economy, but honestly is it fair to penalize a self employed person making less then most welfare recipients? I can't pay my rent this month and now you want $12K more from me.......
Signed Reluctantly,
Lubeless,
P.S. I will not be donating to your causes ever again......0 -
Dear Current Boss-
I know that you are new to the management thing, but honestly aren't you present in your body when you are creating the schedule? And yet somehow you only scheduled the pregnant girl with the sprained ankle and one assistant to close the store? And you couldn't find it in your heart to stay and help?
Dear Boss I Really Want to Work For-
Please hire me soon, I mean I applied to you before I took this other job. And I understand that you are a state agency and there is alot of red tape and hoops to jump through, but seriously, I have done everything you asked. I even admitted to my first marriage IN WRITING on your silly background check. The least you could do is hire me so I can quit my current job and maybe be able to afford groceries again!
Love
The Best Emplyee You'll Ever Have0 -
Who in this world is going to know what size your clothes are if you don't tell them?
Cut the tags out if it bothers you that much and tell anyone who asks that it was scratchy!
I've always said that I don't care what size I wear as long as I look like I could wear a garbage bag and make it look designer!
The only thing that inconsistent sizing effects is how long it takes in the dressing rooms.
Besides, the 3rd World countries probably think they are sewing for elephants even at a size 0, so, what do THEY know about fashion anyway!?
Pick the smallest size you have in your closet and tell THAT size to anyone who is rude enough to ask. or just lie, that always works, too.0 -
Who in this world is going to know what size your clothes are if you don't tell them?
Cut the tags out if it bothers you that much and tell anyone who asks that it was scratchy!
I've always said that I don't care what size I wear as long as I look like I could wear a garbage bag and make it look designer!
The only thing that inconsistent sizing effects is how long it takes in the dressing rooms.
Besides, the 3rd World countries probably think they are sewing for elephants even at a size 0, so, what do THEY know about fashion anyway!?
Pick the smallest size you have in your closet and tell THAT size to anyone who is rude enough to ask. or just lie, that always works, too.
Dear Stephaneyh,
Thank you for your input.0 -
dear friend
I am not giving you my new Lululemon shirt that is size 10, because its 1 size too small!!! Did it ever occur to you, that perhaps i bought it 1 size too small on purpose?? They do sell size 12 there for your info... Perhaps I wanted a goal shirt for my next 20 pounds down? You really think im gonna spend 58$ on a new workout shirt and just hand it over to you like that .... pffffftttttt sometimes i wonder if you have a brain in your head? dont you think that, if i really wanted it to fit me now, I wouldn't just go back to the store and exchange it for a new size? I dont care if its your birthday... I gave you your 50$ gift card for lululemon go buy your own damn shirt!!!!
yours truely
the girl who will soon fit in the size 10
:laugh:0 -
:grumble: hiccup0
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dear friend
I am not giving you my new Lululemon shirt that is size 10, because its 1 size too small!!! Did it ever occur to you, that perhaps i bought it 1 size too small on purpose?? They do sell size 12 there for your info... Perhaps I wanted a goal shirt for my next 20 pounds down? You really think im gonna spend 58$ on a new workout shirt and just hand it over to you like that .... pffffftttttt sometimes i wonder if you have a brain in your head? dont you think that, if i really wanted it to fit me now, I wouldn't just go back to the store and exchange it for a new size? I dont care if its your birthday... I gave you your 50$ gift card for lululemon go buy your own damn shirt!!!!
yours truely
the girl who will soon fit in the size 10
:laugh:
Same friend that is a flirt?! I'd be dumping her butt to the curb! Geesh!0 -
dear friend
I am not giving you my new Lululemon shirt that is size 10, because its 1 size too small!!! Did it ever occur to you, that perhaps i bought it 1 size too small on purpose?? They do sell size 12 there for your info... Perhaps I wanted a goal shirt for my next 20 pounds down? You really think im gonna spend 58$ on a new workout shirt and just hand it over to you like that .... pffffftttttt sometimes i wonder if you have a brain in your head? dont you think that, if i really wanted it to fit me now, I wouldn't just go back to the store and exchange it for a new size? I dont care if its your birthday... I gave you your 50$ gift card for lululemon go buy your own damn shirt!!!!
yours truely
the girl who will soon fit in the size 10
:laugh:
Same friend that is a flirt?! I'd be dumping her butt to the curb! Geesh!
it is the same girl... but in her defence she was only asking lol...not like she was forcing me to give her the shirt... i just found it annnoying and had to vent
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Dear Child of mine...
I am tired of your bad behavior, tired of punishing you, tired of you being miserable all the time, tired of screaming, tired of crying, tired of notes home from school, tired of the principal calling, tired of not being able to take you anywhere in fear of your bad behaviors, tired of things being thrown across rooms, tired of slamming doors, tired of you biting yourself, tired of hitting, tired of kicking, tired of being tired. I am sorry i dont know how to fix it all ... i wish it was easier for you...and i do love you even though im tired.
Mother to a special needs child.
Jackie0 -
it is the same girl... but in her defence she was only asking lol...not like she was forcing me to give her the shirt... i just found it annnoying and had to vent
LOL Gotcha. I had this vision of a flirty, demanding wench & was advising you to run! :laugh:0 -
Dear Child of mine...
I am tired of your bad behavior, tired of punishing you, tired of you being miserable all the time, tired of screaming, tired of crying, tired of notes home from school, tired of the principal calling, tired of not being able to take you anywhere in fear of your bad behaviors, tired of things being thrown across rooms, tired of slamming doors, tired of you biting yourself, tired of hitting, tired of kicking, tired of being tired. I am sorry i dont know how to fix it all ... i wish it was easier for you...and i do love you even though im tired.
Mother to a special needs child.
Jackie
Dear Jackeh,
I'm so sorry you are tired! You are amazing! Don't forget that!:flowerforyou:
Love,
Becky0 -
Dear Child of mine...
I am tired of your bad behavior, tired of punishing you, tired of you being miserable all the time, tired of screaming, tired of crying, tired of notes home from school, tired of the principal calling, tired of not being able to take you anywhere in fear of your bad behaviors, tired of things being thrown across rooms, tired of slamming doors, tired of you biting yourself, tired of hitting, tired of kicking, tired of being tired. I am sorry i dont know how to fix it all ... i wish it was easier for you...and i do love you even though im tired.
Mother to a special needs child.
Jackie
Dear Jackeh,
I'm so sorry you are tired! You are amazing! Don't forget that!:flowerforyou:
Love,
Becky
:smooched: thanks0 -
it is the same girl... but in her defence she was only asking lol...not like she was forcing me to give her the shirt... i just found it annnoying and had to vent
LOL Gotcha. I had this vision of a flirty, demanding wench & was advising you to run! :laugh:
flirty definately!!! but i think thats a self esteem issue on her part... just hoping she gains a little confidence...0 -
Dear Soon-to-be-Ex,
I am tired of you forcing me to tell you over and over again that our marriage is over.
You will not wear me down. I will not give up. I will keep up the strength to be on my own.
Please find the strength within yourself and leave.
I will bear the burden of the mortgage, and I will be able to budget through. Just go. Please.
I cannot handle any more of your negative aura. It's exhausting, fighting to stay in the sunlight.
And although you don't know it, if you aren't gone or don't have solid plans to be gone by the time the tax refund gets here (8-15 days), I am splitting the bank account in half, closing the joint account, grabbing my clothes and moving me and the kid to my parent's, dumping the house on you. Once you start into foreclosure, I'm sure the bank will work with me to get you out of the house and me back in, financed in my own name.
I simply cannot do this anymore. I told you in September I thought we were headed for divorce. You did nothing. I told you December 20 I wanted a separation. You did nothing. New Years, Valentines, you did nothing. Finally, in the last week of February, when you realized how expensive apartments were as I started forcing you out, you made an effort. I am very sorry but YES, it's too little too late.
And yes, I do hate to give up on you. Maybe this WAS the time you would change for good, but I can't give you "just one more chance" any more. I have one life to live. I WILL be happy. I will not SETTLE for less than happiness. I know it exists.
I wish you all the best. I hope you become a better man. I hope you learn to love life and can enjoy the time you have on this earth. But mostly, I hope you will let me go and move on.
Signed,
Never Gonna Give Up On My Dreams.0
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