Things in recipes that amuse you
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just_Tomek wrote: »Mouse_Potato wrote: »Recipes that tell me to fry some onions or similar, then prep everything else 'while those fry'.
I don't know how fast you chop, but if I do that those onions are gonna be burned little black strips before I'm done.
I have literally put myself in the E.R. with a vegetable peeler, so... yeah... I'm gonna take my time with anything sharp!
That was almost me a couple weeks ago. I took a good chunk off my finger with the peeler but did eventually get it to stop bleeding right before I was about to take myself to urgent care.
How did you guys do that???? I mean I would honestly have to try real hard to cut myself with a peeler. Thats some major ninja skills me thinks
My clumsiness is epic. It is astonishing the ways I can find to accidentally hurt myself. In this case I was peeling apples for applesauce. The apple slightly slipped in my hand while peeling and apparently the peeler decided that finger was part of the apple.4 -
Clearly I am clueless about how clumsy people can be and what equipment they are using.
I find it unfathomable I could cut myself if I grip the blade of a large cooks knife between right thumb and forefinger near the bolster, curling the last three fingers of the right hand around the handle. Cut food to size so you can easily push through food at the right speed with your left thumb with left knuckles in the claw position brushing against the blade. Also cut food so it is less than the height of the blade which ensures you don't need to lift knife high enough to cut knuckles. Your claw should be as close as possible to the bolster so your left knuckles rub against the wide part of the blade. If you are not good at sensing height of the blade let the right thumb brush against first knuckle of you left hand claw so you can tell by touch.
With my hands in this position I don't need to look at the cutting board while chopping and slicing. Everything is done by sense of touch.
That’s nice for you, who clearly have normal human coordination.
Your inability to fathom my clumsiness does not magically make me any less clumsy, though. Or your advice any more useful. Why can’t you just accept that what works for yuo does not work for everyone?5 -
(Plus, frankly, even if you somehow make it physically impossible for me to cut myself, working at speed still makes it more likely that I will spray chunks of onion across the worktop and on the floor, which is also not helpful. Now can we get back to amusing things in recipes, and off assuming that clumsy people just don’t know what they’re doing?)7
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My actual advice is that if you know anybody who works in a professional restaurant kitchen is to ask them to teach you professional knife skills. Their advice should be independent of hand size, strength, and *maybe* coordination level.1
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And it is impossible to spray onion onto the worktop or floor if you hold the blade perpendicular to the cutting surface.0
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Gone.2
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Alright, something I find amusing in directions (microwave instructions seem prone to this) is when the last step says something like "Enjoy!". It's a bit presumptuous to just assume I'm going to enjoy this, don't you think? I'll be the judge of what I enjoy. 5
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Like the presumptuous Serves 4,type comments??
Who are they to assume I am sharing it with anyone??
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just_Tomek wrote: »Another thing that never makes sense to me....
"add a bit of butter to the pan"....... and the cook dumps half a stick of butter in. WTF??
This is why I do not watch cooking shows, they just do not really teach anything. The exceptions are Alton Brown and America's Test Kitchen since they explain not only what to do but WHY they are doing it so I learn things I can apply to other things I make.
The only other exception when I was a kid was The Galloping Gourmet because he was just so much fun to watch.3 -
just_Tomek wrote: »Another thing that never makes sense to me....
"add a bit of butter to the pan"....... and the cook dumps half a stick of butter in. WTF??
This is why I do not watch cooking shows, they just do not really teach anything. The exceptions are Alton Brown and America's Test Kitchen since they explain not only what to do but WHY they are doing it so I learn things I can apply to other things I make.
The only other exception when I was a kid was The Galloping Gourmet because he was just so much fun to watch.When chefs say - "...just a splash of oil or just a bit of butter..." The 'splash' is probably more than 1/4 cup+ of oil and 'a bit' is usually a stick or two of butter.
I commented on this type of thing a few pages ago...but someone disagreed with my thoughts...but it's true!🤣1 -
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The serving suggestion, bottom left hand corner.
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This amused me way more than it should! Just seen it on Pinterest:
‘The Best Homemade Greek Seasoning Ever!’
First ingredient? ‘ A quarter cup of Italian Seasoning’
Two ancient civilisations put firmly in their place!11 -
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'Quick' 'lunch' recipes that involve more than five ingredients and have to be served immediately.
I can only conclude that in chef-world, office kitchens have rather more facilities than mine ever seem to come with.
...though granted, there may be a reason my employers don't give me access to things with blades or fire 8 -
One I found the other day was a crockpot recipe that had me cook everything and then put it in the crockpot. Not just sear the meat, but brown the onions, combine and cook sauce components, blanch some other stuff. Do they not understand the purpose of crockpot cooking is to toss it all in and leave home?8
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One I found the other day was a crockpot recipe that had me cook everything and then put it in the crockpot. Not just sear the meat, but brown the onions, combine and cook sauce components, blanch some other stuff. Do they not understand the purpose of crockpot cooking is to toss it all in and leave home?
Some meats do better if they are seared first but otherwise, I agree.
My crockpot lasagna does need to have the meat/tomato sauce made first but that is an exception. It uses no-cook noodles and cooks up nice in 8 or so hours. I make the sauce the night before and put together in the morning.0 -
I thought the idea that you had to put a random sprig of Rosemary next to the salt bowl, with a few leaves inside it, amusing.just_Tomek wrote: »Whats wrong with this? This does not say serving size. This simply shows that you put that salt bowl on the table for everything to use. I see nothing wrong with that.7
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