WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JANUARY 2020
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What I long for? I've been working on manifesting a life that is serene, carefree, debt free and fun. I've been so inspired by my widowed friends who emerged from the grips of long term caring for an ailing DH, and have reinvented themselves once their partner made his transition.
Ironically, I have been thinking of redoing my will and advanced directives to (a) change my main beneficiary and POA to brother and (b) give detailed instructions for what I want in the event I'm diagnosed with dementia.
Karen in VA: Thank you for the info. I will ask my PCP if I can get a test for ovarian cancer.
Debbie: I'm so sorry I can't be closer to take you away for coffee and share stories of how bad my alcoholic mother was to my brother and me. I still have emotional scars. Like Heather said, the present is my present to myself. My word for 2020 is NOW because I constantly need reminding to stay grounded and not retreat into a puddle of bad memories and lousy self-esteem. Feel my (((cyber-hug))) and know that on this forum you are very safe.
KJ: I love your question! What makes my heart skip a beat? Salsa dancing, with a great partner, to live music....Merengue music is what I listen to when I'm wearing a headset in the gym. It lifts my mood and energy.
Rant below. Skip if you want.Today was another low energy, zero patience day. DH was up obsessing over cleaning the sink until 4 AM. I tried numerous times and various ways to get him to come to bed, but he was wired. And, yes, I had given him melatonin, valerian, and other homeopathic soothers. Once he did come to bed, I couldn't sleep. 😩😩😫🥱 I was a zombie all day. He is responsive to affection and kindness, but I just didn't have it today, so he's been cranky and more confused than usual, which just makes me feel worse....😔 Stupid cold in the nose not helping either. A good night's sleep will certainly help me reset. 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽
Hope you all are staying well. We can do this.
Rori
Living for NOW
Colorado Foothills
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I learned a long time ago to be careful about what I wished for. Now I am content wherever I am and stay in the moment. It works for me.
Barbie6 -
Very big hugs to those who have to deal with a close family member or friend committing suicide
What makes me jump for joy? To see or know of my children being successful
Had Newcomer bowling tonight
Allie – let your son walk to work some. It won’t hurt him…
SueWA – they just changed the time of my water class from 8:30 to 8. From what I understand, they have the children swimming at the same time as the class and Monday the kids were real loud. It’s interesting how fast they responded to the complaint of noise. Guess they’d prefer not to have the kids with the adults. So they gave us the option of changing days or having the class earlier. We opted to have the class earlier, which I don’t mind one bit. Wish the extremepump class was earlier
Rori - (((HUG)))
Michele NC
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stats for the day:
bike ride hm 2 gym, fog- 8.42min, 133mhr, 10.9amph, 1.58mi= 60c
apple watch- 62c
SKI MACHINE- 20min, 20resist, 6incl, 128mhr, 110ahr, 111astrpm, .85mi= 117c
apple watch- 116c
STAIRCLIMBER- 10min, 123ahr, 135mhr, lvl7, 678steps, 1042floors= 87c
apple watch- 101c
floor exercises- 3min, 2sets of 15ea, 103mhr, 3 diff core exercises= 8c
apple watch- 31c
bike ride gym 2 dome, fog- 5.51min, 139mhr, 15.2amph, 1.48mi= 45c
apple watch- 46c
bike ride puy 2 sumn station- 16.17min, 143mhr, 11.2amph, 3.04mi= 143c
apple watch- 111c
jog sta 2 wrk- 5.24min, 9.52min mi, 150mhr, .54mi= 65c
apple watch- 64c
jog wrk 2 sta, sprinkles- 4.32min, 9.57min mi, 154mhr, .45mi= 64c
apple watch- 66c
bike ride dome 2 hm, rain- 21.56min, 7.1amph, 147mhr, 2.58mi= 202c
apple watch- 157c
total cal 8142 -
Machka– I can agree with you about mushrooms. However, I love Blue Cheese! Glad your bite is improving.
Rebecca-your favorite salad is just about like mine. Cranberries with blue cheese is a great combination.
Debby in Va-so sorry for your early trauma. I see that a lot in my work. I know it takes many child victims a long time to recover as well as they can. Victims are not damaged goods. They are victims. Healing is possible.
Allie-I agree with the group-let your son walk. Enabling won’t get him anywhere.
I was glad to see several of you reference core exercises helping with bladder and related issues. I have noticed a real change after two months of focusing on core strength. I thought maybe I was just imagining it helping, but definite improvement.
Looking forward to getting through work tomorrow. Had a bunch of stuff come up that needed dealt with that isn’t pleasant but necessary. Unfortunately, put me behind on other stuff. Will get caught up soon. Will end my day at the gym so that will be good.
Off to sleep. Take care all.
Ginny in Ohio
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Barbara - I wish that was a rule on every house. What a more peaceful meal I would have had many time’s over.
Rori - that will mean a lot to your family and friends. Congrats on the last Pap smear that must be something to celebrate!
Katla - my Mouth was very bruised feeling yesterday but not bad today.
Lisa - What are you longing for? That is a good question. I think I am longing for security in several areas of my life. Financially, Marriage, Job and health.
Heather - Thats one of the best reasons I’ve heard of to do Pilates! I will have to start that.
Canada is looking at updating the laws in regards to Medical Assistance in Dying and they have a survey to complete. I have read through it and need to go back and answer the questions. I don’t want to be in pain and lingering unnecessarily and I don’t want to be a burden to my girls.
Kelly - What makes your heart skip a beat? Again I have more than one answer. Pride in my family’s accomplishments. Hearing my Mom’s voice on the rare time’s I get to hear it now. My husband still makes my heart skip a beat with just a look at time’s.
Rebecca - love the light switch it’s beautiful.
I had the best day at work today than I’ve had since Christmas. It was wonderful. We did have a meeting about infection control. The lesson learned was - wash your hands thoroughly and often - don’t touch your face - cover your coughs - stay 6ft away from someone coughing - masks won’t do it - stay home if you are sick.
Tomorrow night is our Christmas party at work for the leadership team. We cancelled it in December as we were all exhausted from doing for the residents we didn’t want to do more. We are having a gift exchange so I need to buy a gift.
It’s a game where the gifts get passed around so I need a unisex gift.
I am limiting my food and doing better this week. I just need to keep it up.
Tracey in Edmonton
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I was glad to see several of you reference core exercises helping with bladder and related issues. I have noticed a real change after two months of focusing on core strength. I thought maybe I was just imagining it helping, but definite improvement.
Ginny in Ohio
Regarding that ...
I've been to a physiotherapist who specialises in pelvic issues and she was great! She gave me lots of exercises, tips and advice ... and I know that I'm on top of things now.
She is also a lot more open about female issues than most GPs which was refreshing.
I highly recommend finding a physiotherapist like that in your area rather than just worrying about what might happen.
Machka in Oz
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Late night but wanted to respond to several items:
First-hand I believe most of us have been affected by suicides at sometime in our lives. I believe that today's society has many folks feeling ALONE. Our villages can be more limited. I love this group of STRONG women for support. If something is bothering you, please share. We are here and supportive! Someone in this group has experienced the same thing and can give tips and suggestions.Lisa you didnt make things gray, you just brought some interesting openings apparentky some of us needed today for discussion. Hugs to all!
Assisted suicide for terminal illnesses- I do it for my pets so they have some dignity. In the wild they go off alone. I feel better to be surrounded by loved ones. I have a DNR in place as well as a medical power of attorney in place with explicit instructions should the unthinkable happen. My family is all aware of my decisions.
What I long for- I too said time. Time to enjoy with family and friends. Currently work schedules make that difficult, but am getting better at making that time.
Foods- wow...y'all really put things in a different perspective for me. My husband can't stand green peppers, onions, mushrooms, etc. I eat lots of stuffs(not Brussels sprouts, turnip greens, cabbage, or cooked pineapple) I use dried onions or onion powder when cooking. I leave peepers and mushrooms out and just put on/in my portion. Oh, I don't do soggy! Yuck!!!! Husband likes cake in a bowl with milk, dipping his Oreos, and crackers crumbled in his soup. The first time I went to his parents for corn bread and soup beans, I asked why such large plates and where are the bowls? They laughed at me and told me to put corn bread on plate and beans over it. Not happening! They got me a bowl and small plate for my corn bread. His mom still laughs about that. Tomato sauce messes with my husband's stomach. I learned to put in chopped carrots. They help with acid and give more vitamins.
What makes my heart sing- the mountains and water! I love the mountains in MD and VA and hiked them often. Now TN makes me so happy each year on vacation. The sign in my bedroom states- the mountains are calling and I must go! Singing and dancing come in close second when mountains aren't available.
Incontinence- Gall bladder made those a real issue. Still have to be mindful of food choices or the bathroom isn't close enough. I have thrown away more than one pair of undies in a restroom. Husband really is understanding. Extreme embarrassment when out with niece once, she is a PA and just assured me that *kitten* happens -lmao! Nice to know I am not alone in this. Thank you for the core tips! Have been working on posture so core is sore. Also has hysterectomy at 29. Ovaries still intact so pap smear every other year, just female check yearly since on estradiol.
I can't believe January is about over. I accomplished lots, yet my excel goals still need some work. Grandson has been sick for 2 days. Our local schools are closed for disinfecting tomorrow due to high absences. Haven't gotten together with family for birthdays because of that. No need sharing that stuffs. Spring equipment orders starting to come in. 4 weeks until our rush starts. 4 weeks to get my act and routines in place.
Ladies, you are all such blessings to me! Thank you for your thought provoking conversations and your non-judgemental support.
Time for sleep.
Kylia ohio5 -
Hi Gals,
Barbie – I took my lights down today – they were just white and I loved the happy glow, but a few folks were thinking I was nuts and sharing that with me, so I took them down today.
What to do on birthday – the massage idea called to me.
Tasting – my favorites in order Sweet, Savory, Sour, Salty, Bitter
From Machka “A bright medley of green, yellow and red capsicum, baked into savoury muffin topped with blue cheese and served with a side of mushrooms and wild rice.
I'll add, that in addition to wild rice tasting like the bottom of a swamp, so do mushrooms. Mushrooms are rubbery, slimy pieces of mouldy dirt.
And blue cheese is just mould. Like if you were to open your fridge and grab that container which has been sitting in the back there for the past 6 month, and open it ... the stench that comes off all that green fuzz inside the container is blue cheese.
A lunch as described above would be torture for me!! I'd probably order the chicken dish instead.”
That sounds like a delightful lunch to me. I actually had just mushrooms for dinner that’s all. It is amazing how different we all are! I agree with you that texture is super important. For example I love the flavor of pumpkin, but the texture of pumpkin pie is a no-go for me. Pumpkin muffins, soup, ravioli, … but NO pie.
LisaInAR wrote: »
More than anything yesterday, a very interesting question came up, and my own answer surprised me. So I thought I'd bring it to all of you. If you decide to answer, please share the first one that comes to mind.
What are you longing for?
So the first thing I thought was a husband. But I know I am not yet willing to do the work required to find one of those.
What makes your heart sing? When the god kids and/or nephew call me without me prompting them; although I have to admit that when they do it, it is almost always at midnight or 2 or some other crazy time, but I love it every time/any time.
Debbie in VA – please share with us, or if you’d be more comfortable IM me and I would be happy to listen, write, be there for you.
Kim from N. California
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(((Rori)): I’m sorry that things are difficult with your DH. He is sooooo lucky to have you. :flowerforyou:
Barbie: One of my mom’s favorite sayings was,”Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.” When I’m in wish mode, I routinely wish for health, wealth and three more wishes. Health is becoming more important all the time. Staying in the moment is a very good practice.
Snowflake: I’m glad you’re feeling better. Your meeting about infection control was filled with good strategies and practices. “The lesson learned was - wash your hands thoroughly and often - don’t touch your face - cover your coughs - stay 6ft away from someone coughing - masks won’t do it - stay home if you are sick." Every idea is a good one.
We spent the biggest part of the day looking for a new faucet set for our kitchen sink. So far, we haven’t found what we want. Our current set is 30 years old. The faucet still works well but the hot tap doesn’t work due to a broken on/off lever. I would love to find a new set just like ours was in the beginning. I hope to go to shopping again tomorrow. I’m thinking of checking out places like Home Depot. Today we checked out a plumbing center that had high prices and nothing we would like to have in our kitchen.
Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon
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@auntiebk thanks for the shout out! good job keeping up your daily goals.0
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I started tracking in morning and then didn't track lunch and "dinner".
Lunch was healthy enough: tofu, ratatouille and a little corn. Dinner was more ice cream-y.
I went for a little walk yesterday.
Class was just ok.
I was involved in union stuff. There's a big action-protest planned next week and I'm one of the main initiators of this particular action-protest. I don't have the influence to activate but encouraged some, added my 2 cents to the conception, and participated quite a bit in necessary relaying of information. Now hundreds of people are aware, probably at least 100 participating, from several different institutions. A short, detailed, 1-2 page article in a prominent magazine in the field was published last night, by a journalist in the field.
Today:
exercise
track food
clean at least 15 minutes
oh I just remembered an admin helper is coming at 2:30 today (to help with filing, etc.)
yikes.
correct papers
thesis work2 -
For the end of January ...
Tell us about one (or more) non-scale victory (NSV) you've experienced in this first month of the year.
1. Finished Assignment 3
2. Successfully organised a 400 km cycling event
3. Cycled a 50 km ride for the first time since my husband's accident
4. Participated in a race on Zwift
5. Started running again
Now you!3 -
morning ladies~
slept pretty well..and early work today.. so am up and dressed and having my tea. have to go get Homer out early, and then pick Dan up and drop him off early at work I get out at 5, and it will be a busy day..
yesterday not bad at work, but am a bit miffed. the 2 other girls are getting paid training for the new program,but he wants me to do mine at home,, which I dont think is fair, I will speak to him monday about it..4 -
0
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My word for 2020 is UNLEASH.
So, in that spirit, I joined a singing group, which has proved to be wonderful. Great NSV. Conquering inertia is always hard.
I started to put together a website in order to unleash myself onto the world. I haven't finished it yet, but I count even doing it at all as an NSV. Scary. It will get done.
Every day that I write a few words of my memoir is a huge NSV. It is always a struggle to get to the page.
Miserable weather today.
Tonight at 11 pm we leave the European Union. No comment. Too political.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx3 -
"Todo"s and "done"Done: invest 10 mins cleaning Dining Room, Chiropractor, schedule Dexa Scan and Mammo for June, walked down/up hill 6 mins 40 sec.
Bonus: 117 other cleaning LR, Kitchen, Hall, GuestBth.
ToDo: BB&B, invest 20 mins cleaning Master & Guest bd, call Chief for Visa to order turnout racks, write thank you note to Carolyn L, veg prep, bake bran muffins, call Carolyn D, line dance. Next week get complete series TDAP, following week Shingrix vaccine.
Overindulged in wine and chocolate last night, honestly logged.
Margaret, you’ve added greatly to my backpack, thank you. Sending prayers for calm, hope and help.
Lisa, most of the time I feel contented, happy. Was surprised at the sudden intensity of my response to your “longing for” question. Not your fault, and healthy for me to face. Your sneaking up on yourself similes made me smile.
Welcome back Lin!
Amber being included as an afterthought is almost as bad as not being included at all. Fortunately you can choose to build your own “family”, as you have with your hubby, your friend, and, I hope, us. You have so much of which to be proud, not just the 49+ lbs discarded but what you have survived and given your children.
Karen in Va what a very hard way to lose your BFF.
Welcome pickowitz!
Flea prayers for your son and for your pup and you. What about the possible promotion makes you most anxious?
Debby in VA was missing you, glad to hear from you even though you are understandably hurting. You are not burdening us, this is the place to tell and heal. ((hugs))
Allie, “pick Dan up and drop him off early at work”? Can he not walk the 2 miles each way?
KJ Our woods above the sea make my heart skip a beat. Line dancing makes me extraordinarily proud. Singing in the car makes me happy. Nothing on this earth could make me want to do a back flip :laugh:
Machka My most amazing NSV this month has been vacuuming regularly. Those of you who’ve been on this thread awhile know how much I loathe it, but it really is necessary with two dogs and spruce needles. If I can keep it up (and if our tax refund allows) I’ve promised to reward myself with a new vacuum cleaner, either a Roomba or a Dyson stick.
Lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMODJanuary: get up and go outside 10 mins EVERY day, even in the rain!
daily: steps= 5425 vits 26 log=29 CI<CO=24 CI<250<CO=11 Tumble 5/10=13 mfp=29 outside=13
wkly: BBBorTC x3=9, rx=3 dance=5.2 pack walk=3.5
mnthly: board mtg=1 grant=
Bonus AF=17 dog group email list= sew= play=3 -
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Morning all! Doing the Friday dance! Yesterday was a BEAR to get through. The kids are all coming down with the crud and were inconsolable. I finally gave in about an hour before lunch and just put a movie on for them. Some times you just have to wave the white flag and call it a day. Even with the lack of physical activity in their day, they all slept a good three hours at nap time. They must have needed the sleep. So...onward into the last day of the month. Tonight I go to pick up a milk jug igloo, that another provider made for her childcare and she is passing it along to me. Putting it together will be my main task this weekend. The provider who made the igloo is the one who came and took the egg carton space ship from me. My work on that, inspired her to build the igloo. February begins our Polar/Arctic region study! I am really excited to start that and am getting some activities together for the kids. I have been doing a lot of reading on Nature Based play/care and also Reggio style classrooms and I think I am moving in that direction. Ideally, I would love to set up an outdoor classroom so that we can spend 80% of our time outside in the more moderate months of the year. It would be nice to be able to do that year round, but I can't depend on parents sending suitable cold weather gear for their kids now, when we are only outside for an hour or two each day. Getting them to send gear that kids could be in for nearly 5-6 hours, outside, would be nearly an insurmountable task (and I don't have the funds to buy the top of the line gear for six kids). ANyhow, it is nice to find the direction that I want to take my childcare and be able to set goals to get there.
What makes my heart skip a beat?- The mere thought of travel will set my heart to racing! A road trip to anywhere, plane, train, boat, whatever it takes. I had to stop watching travel shows because the racing heart would give way to such an incredible longing that I grew unhappy and irritable. (This is where I agree with Barbie as to being careful about longing). Being out in nature makes me incredibly happy (I tend to throw my arms wide and spin in circles), activities that push my boundaries (like skydiving, crossing incredibly high or narrow footbridges, rollercoasters) make me giddy with excitement. I love my husband, children and grandchildren; but my hubby hasn't evoked the "giddy" feeling in me for some time. And while my love for all of them is deep, it is just a different kind of feeling. I don't feel empowered or stronger because of that love. And the above activities make me feel strong and brave. I love those feelings because the are driven by me.
AND...I have wasted too much time blabbing about me. Love and hugs to all who need them. Kids arriving. ttfn xoxoxo KJ (Kelly)3
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