Workoutahloic50 wrote: »
My alcoholic,demonically abusive father committed suicide when I was very young.He was never nice to us and I’m stoic about his leaving-I don’t miss what I never had.And it meant there would be no more beatings.But that’s when my monster Really started living for herself as her “friends “told her she should.Different men in and out the house and different abuse.Shed gone off on one her usual weekend away and left me alone.I had No one .I had been hospitalized with 3 bleeding ulcers a hiatal hernia and acid reflux like nobody.I was 13.So I had plenty of pills in the house and monster had plenty of booze.I figured I’d had enough and no other escape.Obviously it didn’t work and she never knew.I have moments when it crosses my mind but I can’t inflict that pain on my family.Ive lost a couple dear friends to suicide 😔.And just in the past couple days list a couple good friends 😔😔.Ive been skimming through and wasn’t going to say anything because my life has been SO messed up.I still feel so damaged and have no one to talk to and hate to burden y’all beautiful ladies with itSorry for the mini novel.
Debby in Va
LisaInAR wrote: »
I feel as if the day, supportive or not, kinda went sideways into a gray place for all of us--sorry if I was part of causing that, it was genuinely not my intent.
Lisa in AR
margaretturk wrote: »
Allie and Kelly I have accepted stress is just a part of my life. Like yesterday I went through what I would rate as a 10 stress for me in a scale from 1-10. When I hit the melt down point I went up into my bedroom and then played meditation music for 45 minutes. (a tool from my backpack)
Since I recovered well enough I went to choir. ( Another addition to my backpack)
I went to bed at 9. (another addition to my backpack)
Yes the stress is still there. I can only do my part to try and find a ways to not add to the stress and to find solutions that will help with the problem. What I can do for myself is keep adding to my own backpack or taking out tools that work for me, so that I have the energy and patience to handle the stress the best that I can.
Today I was thinking about the soldiers in the middle of a war and how hard it must be for them to sleep. I thought they must learn how to sleep among that chaos. If they don't they are more likely to be killed or to go insane. My stakes are similar in a way I must learn to find respite when times are tough or I may risk of getting hurt or my risk of going insane increases. Without my health any problem I might be facing becomes ten times worse.
That is why when I meet someone who is going through a crisis I ask them what they are doing for themselves. An example was a friend in choir whose husband at the age of 58 just lost his job. Both of them are losing health care. Her husband has asthma. She just lost a niece to anorexia. She is at a 10 on the stress meter. We talked about taking time for her... a walk in a green space...quiet music. Myself and another friend listened as she problem solve her insurance issues. Is her stress gone? No! Hopefully these things will help her better cope and help her find solutions that will work for her.
I told her I too am in a crisis but did not go into my details just that I am trying to walk the talk of doing something for me. I told her about listening to meditation music for 45 minutes and what a difference that made for me.
Being part of this group definitely adds to my backpack. Margaret
grandmallie wrote: »
morning Ladies~I am up dressed and having my tea..and Aflie barking at the tv... all is normal
yesterday a better day, i was running around crazy.. my son, I love him dearly but he has no clue of reality.. he has been driving a 1997 toyota corolla with almost 300,000 miles on it and took it in for a oil change.. well the front axle is broken.. i asked Dan what do you have in savings.. oh about 500.00 , you need a couple thousand I told him..and he said well why dont you buy it for me.. he is 35 yrs old man working part time at a grocery store.. uhhh no.. I am not doing that. but he needs to do something..he lives a couple miles away...from work..
I am working 9-5 today.. and 7:45 -5 tomorrow and will go to Zina's dad funeral on Saterday..
Machka9 wrote: »
I raced tonight.
I finished in 8th place!!!
I haven't sustained a heart rate over 160 bpm for 43 minutes and 22 seconds in years.
I had to lie down with my feet up after.
Zwift has these cycling races. People from all over the world sign up for them, we all get on our bicycles on trainers, and they start at a designated time.
This race was 18.5 km and started at 8:10 pm my time.
I got there a bit early and warmed up ... maybe just a bit too long. If I do this again, I might go for a shorter warm up.
And then the countdown and the group of us were off. I stuck with the front 2 riders for about 3 km and then 2 more joined our little group of 3. At about 6 km, the group split up ... some really took off and I dropped off the back, and was then passed by a couple riders. I tried to catch them and would occasionally get close but not quite.
With 5 km to go, I was struggling. I wanted to stop! But there were riders behind me and I was holding 8th position, so I kept pushing and pushing and finally it was finished!!
Oh there were 2 intermediate sprints and I placed 5th on those!!!
Way back when, before I got into the long distance audax/randonneuring side of cycling, I raced. I raced for 3 years and stopped when it got too political. But a little part of me still likes the idea of racing. I'm a bit shy about doing it in real life, especially in this area where it is so hilly ... so maybe these Zwift races are the way to go!Distance: 18.63km
Moving Time: 44:08
Speed: Avg: 25.3km/h | Max: 49.7km/h
Heart Rate: Avg: 167bpm | Max: 175bpm
Cadence: Avg: 79 | Max: 99
Power: Avg: 119W Max: 185W
Perceived Exertion: Hard
Machka in Oz
KJLaMore wrote: »
If you feel the urge (I know I did) please answer Lisa's question " What do you long for?" And also give input on assisted suicide as Luci requested. Both important topics. BUT... you know me...going to flip our little thread and get some good mojo going into February. Here is my question to you, What makes your heart skip a beat? You know...the things that make you extraordinarily happy/proud. The things that make you want to spin, flex your muscles, do a back flip? Tell me!
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