What nobody tells you about losing weight

mseel2 · February 2020

How you can reach your goal weight and still want to lose more...and more...and more. And pretty soon you stop setting a weight goal because you are never happy with what you see.
Then realize you have an eating disorder. Yep. Because that's what happened to me after obsessing over calorie counting and perfecting my body.

Be wary, folks.

idaevon · February 2020

kgb6days wrote: »

How cold you get without a thick pad of insulation

YES. My coworkers tell me they refuse to adjust the temperature due to my "low body fat percentage...."

idaevon · February 2020

Can't drink as many mimosas or glasses of wine......

RivenV · February 2020

mseel2 wrote: »

How you can reach your goal weight and still want to lose more...and more...and more. And pretty soon you stop setting a weight goal because you are never happy with what you see.
Then realize you have an eating disorder. Yep. Because that's what happened to me after obsessing over calorie counting and perfecting my body.

Be wary, folks.

Reminds me of my experience trying to eliminate all the "bad" foods. Eventually I had a mild mental breakdown over my "lunch": a mozzarella cheese stick wrapped in a slice of deli turkey all wrapped up in a romaine leaf. The culprit? You know deli meat has a lot of sodium... And that mozzarella stick was full fat. Here I was, trying to be healthy, and I was about to eliminate yet two more foods and add them to the ever-growing list of food that I couldn't eat.

I did lose weight, but, like you implied, at what cost? I'm sorry that calorie counting caused you to have an eating disorder. Elimination diets caused the same thing for me. Just goes to show you--not everything works for everyone.

AlexandraFindsHerself1971 · February 2020

I learned a lot getting to the place where limiting calories would not in and of itself trigger a binge. One was that fat is useful when you diet. Our brains like fat. They light up like crack for fat. So a little bit of butter here and there in my diet or a teaspoon of heavy cream in a sauce means that I'll eat my portion and no more, because my brain thinks we ate, we're good. Extra fat? Nah, cause of the density of calories. But a little lets me do this and not binge.

Things I learned as I've lost weight so far: I didn't know 20 pounds was going to make such a visible difference so early on, when I still have 114 pounds to lose. I didn't know reshaping myself was going to involve such emotional vulnerability, because this changing is scary. I don't know what's under the fat. I've never been thin as a grown woman.

cnanababy · February 2020

My knee, hip, and back pain are mysteriously gone!

Terytha · February 2020

I've never been so aware of my own bones. I can feel them in my shoulders and hips. I can see them in my hands and knees. Sitting on the floor without a cushion is just awful and I think I'm gonna have to buy one for my office chair.

I don't know who I am anymore. My entire adult life has been rotating around shame for being big and struggling to shrink and disappear in public so as to not be an annoyance, and hide myself in baggy clothes. What if I don't need to do that? What do I do then? So much personal identity is tied up in appearance.

springlering62 · February 2020

That’d you’d be really grateful that a particular monthly social event you grossly overindulge at would come below your goal, because, god bless her, the hostess, who is sweet as she can be, is a terrible cook.

LouVee186000 · February 2020

Terytha wrote: »

...I don't know who I am anymore. My entire adult life has been rotating around shame for being big and struggling to shrink and disappear in public so as to not be an annoyance, and hide myself in baggy clothes. What if I don't need to do that? What do I do then? So much personal identity is tied up in appearance.

I just love that you wrote this, @Terytha . It's just so profound and something I struggle with as my own journey progresses. It's a struggle, but in a way I love this particular struggle: am I discovering who I am, this new me, or am I creating the new me? (And is it dangerous to mix philosophy with weight loss?)

got2bjb · February 2020

I Have lost 80 Lbs Feeling Great! And then.... I noticed it! Losing weight at 50 years old was quite the challenge! What I noticed was my Face. use to look younger than my age. Now, Older! I drink lots of water and do my best for nutrition. Guess U have to sacrifice one for the other. But, Really? Any Ideas? Anyone?

TheMrWobbly · February 2020

Sorry @got2bjb you will have to go with the 'feel younger' bit. When I was fatter I used to look in the mirror and only see my head and I was quite happy. Recently I looked and, despite being several stone lighter, saw the wrinkles that were now more prominent and felt a bit down. I told my SO that I thought I now looked older than I was and could she tell me something nice about my body to make me feel better. She said "well at least your eyesight is spot on!"

harzicn · February 2020

Lietchi wrote: »

Nobody told me I'd have to relearn how I shop for clothes. Finding clothes big enough isn't the main criterium anymore, I can actually judge clothes by design and whether or not they suit me.

Well, I'm starting to be able to now, finally reached the upper end of the non plus sizes. Today I had to restrain myself from buying the first pair of jeans I tried on, just because they fit me, and forced myself to put it back on the shelf and find a pair in the style I actually wanted.

Agree. I've been in more or less maintenance for a year. When I first got to my current weight I bought some very odd outfits. either blowsy and big like I used to wear or silly tight and fitted. Neither style really suits me. It has taken a while but I'm finally settling into a style that I like and suits me. Oh and I have about four pairs of jeans that I never really wear but was just so delighted to find fit me in a regular size.

Nanaluvs2sweat · February 2020

That you exercise to get energy. Not waiting around for the energy to do it. It’s becoming a good habit for me and I already start looking forward to working out no matter how tired I am because I know good I’m gonna feel.

hlr1987 · February 2020

@got2bjb I'm not sure if it's influenced by age, but I'm my experience from losing weight before at 28, your body takes fat from the easiest places for it first, which is really noticeable when it's your face, where looser skin is really easily seen. I have some properly haggard pictures from then including my passport photo

But I did find that six months into maintaining that had sorted itself because I believe your body sort of shifts the remaining fat around after a while to get supplies back in an easy to reach spot. And skin takes time to shrink anyway. So give it time.

motivatedmartha · February 2020

got2bjb wrote: »

I Have lost 80 Lbs Feeling Great! And then.... I noticed it! Losing weight at 50 years old was quite the challenge! What I noticed was my Face. use to look younger than my age. Now, Older! I drink lots of water and do my best for nutrition. Guess U have to sacrifice one for the other. But, Really? Any Ideas? Anyone?

This was so true for me at first but, either I'm now more used to looking at the 'new' me or my body has settled into the new weight and, to me, I look a lot better. A short while ago I was at a wedding and saw someone I hadn't seen for 15 years and they were shocked by 'how much I had turned the clock back' If you're recent to the new weight give it time, keep well hydrated and properly exercised and nourished and you may well find the same. Regardless, huge congrats on the 80lbs - got to be good for your health!

BlueSkiesM · February 2020

ceiswyn wrote: »

Have I mentioned the neverending laundry before? Because I'd like to mention it again!

I'm now working out in some form or another six days a week. That's a lotta workout gear to wash...

I am so absolutely thrilled for you! What a great problem to have. I get all my workout clothes at WalMart. . .I know I know some people frown at shopping at WalMart but it works for me. I played sports in college and I personally can't tell the difference between expensive workout brands and what I get at WalMart.

BlueSkiesM · February 2020

speyerj wrote: »

That my weight loss has a beginning, but it doesn't have an end. I'll never be done. The same habits I am doing today to support my weight loss are ones that I will need to do for the rest of my life. The only difference between weight loss and maintenance are the number of calories you have to play with.

That was a lesson I didn't learn in my last go-arounds. I thought I could just go back to "living my life". This is my life. And that is okay.

You know, it is a life time of work taking care of ourselves, especially if it isn't a habit one is used to doing as in my case. Way to go!!!! I know you are much happier.

Khartman6 · February 2020

-it's not done in the gym.
-pay attention to trends, not fluctuations.

yourbudkurt · February 2020

How rewarding it is to see a graph of your progress!!!

Need motivation? Get a smart scale like WiThings that plots your weight and bodyfat percentage. The WiThings scale in particular is very useful because ***you don't need to open an app to see a graph of your progress***. It tells you right on the scale while you are weighing yourself! See the difference in weight between today and yesterday, which is not even the most useful part, since water weight and the time you ate the previous night could throw things off. It plots the last 5 days on the scale's display so you can see if it is a *real trend* or just an anomaly for that day.

bidingmytime · February 2020

stefgreen72 wrote: »

That you exercise to get energy. Not waiting around for the energy to do it. It’s becoming a good habit for me and I already start looking forward to working out no matter how tired I am because I know good I’m gonna feel.

This is so true! Every time I'd tell myself I don't want to exercise, I immediately correct myself and say, "The fact that I don't want to exercise right now, means that I definitely should exercise right now." Afterwards, I always feel better. Never a time I've said, "Oh, I regret doing all that exercise now. I should have stayed in bed on my phone."

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The one thing nobody tells you when you lose weight (coming from a place where I've lost some major weight before and looked like a totally different person), is that you will start a mental checks and balances system of those who are consistent in their attitude towards you, irrespective of your physical appearance, and those whom have deep aversions to heavier bodies. You will most likely feel very lonely; almost like someone who wins the lottery, and no longer knows who their real friends are any longer. "Do they like me because of me? Or do they only like me now because they think I'm finally worthy of their respect and affections? If I gained the weight back, would their attitude of me revert back to one of secret contempt again?"

On that note, no one ever tells you just how suspicious you may become of potential suitors and other romantic interests (or even just friendships in general). "Would this person still have been interested in me if they saw me at my heaviest? Would they have found me beautiful/attractive, even at my 'worst' body shape?" When you realize the answer 9 times out of 10 is "most likely not," it will mess with your mind a bit, because you will realize not so much how shallow they are (we are all human beings, equipped with likes/attachments and dislikes/aversions, after all), but rather how easily replaceable you are to so many other people. It's a bit disturbing to have this revelation, to say the least. I think as heavier people, we tend to see people for who they truly are first and foremost, because we've been forced to live our lives that way. We didn't want to be judged, so we try our best not to judge others based on superficial means. For those who were blessed in the genetic lottery and didn't have the horrible stigma of being "fat" due to genetics and/or addiction issues, they will truly never really understand what it's like to view relationships and other social interactions from the POV/body of someone normally considered "not attractive" by most society's standards. And, thus, these individuals will never truly know how much we take the time to look inside someone's heart, and see them for whom they truly are.

What nobody tells you about losing weight

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