Less Alcohol - APRIL 2020 - One Day at a Time

Check-in #14: Had my one can of sparkling rose. And then a dear friend called. He's also one of my old drinking buddies. Two hours later, two premixed Cayman Jack Margaritas were gone!! (No extra tequila added.) Heavy sigh, but today is new day - albeit cloudy, cool and raining.

@shorepine Congrats on not finishing the bottle of wine you opened for cooking. You should be proud!

And here's my daily update- another AF day in the books. It was another win for me, as we were having taco night, and my husband was like "hey, I picked up a six pack of those cucumber sour beers you like, I'm headed to the fridge in the garage- should I grab you one?". It was really tempting, but I really just didn't want one and I listened to my body. Winning.

Apr 1: AF
Apr 2: AF
Apr 3: 3 drinks
Apr 4: AF
Apr 5: 3 drinks
Apr 6: AF
Apr 7: AF
Apr 8: 2 drinks
Apr 9: AF
Apr 10: 2 drinks
Apr 11: 1 drink
Apr 12: drank 1.5 bottles of sparkling wine over the course of the day
Apr 13: AF
Apr 14: AF
Apr 15: AF
Apr 16: AF
Apr 17: 1/2 bottle of wine
Apr 18: 1/2 bottle of wine w dinner, 2 cocktails (board game night with husband)
Apr 19: AF
Apr 20: AF
Apr 21: AF
Apr 22: AF

So far in April: 14/22 days AF

@Beka3695 That's wonderful to be talking. Brilliant to not let that all or nothing mentality take over. The ONLY reason I haven't slipped in the same # days as you is that my husband has become intolerant of my drinking (for good reason). If I had a drinking partner in my partner, I'd be in trouble and probably needing to go to meeting, therapy, or both! WE CAN INFLUENCE!

So today marks a full year + 12 hours since I have had any alcohol. While this streak was never an intention I take it as a good sign that it was so easy to accomplish. In my early days to get back to moderation I thought about drinking a lot - too much. Sometimes it felt like the only reason I could be AF some days was because I knew exactly when the next drink was coming. I was only physiologically AF but it was still had a mental hold even on days I didn't have any. In my mind that didn't mean I was moderating. Moderating needed to be, for me, a take it or leave it attitude. I needed to be able to skip planned nights of drinking and not even give it much second thought. I also needed to be able to go an indefinite period of time between drinks. Not just a dry month but a dry x amount of days, weeks, months.

I accomplished all of that thanks in part to these threads. Early May of 2018 I started an (also) unintentional streak that lasted until October. On July 4th that year I was preparing to have a drink when I decided I didn't want one. It was after that the mental hold seemed to be gone. Since that time I have lived up to my definition of moderation. This is my definition. I make no claims that it should be "the definition." It is the one that for me is healthy, non-burdensome, responsible, and comfortable. Comfortable was what started after that night on July 4th 2018.

I have no idea when I will have my next drink. I don't actually care which is the part I like. I doubt seriously this streak will extend much longer but with the virus keeping me from a vacation I do not know.

As usual, I am going to try for 16-20 AF days for the month.
I had 18AF days for January
I had a surprising (and record setting for me) 21AF days for the short month of February!
18AF days for March
Onward to April : - )

Wednesday April 01 - AF
Thursday April 02 - AF - Felt like having drinks, but really determined to get back to at least 2AF days in between.
Friday April 03 - AF because I have a webinar in the morning that I want to be sharp for. Planned wine with a friend for her birthday - yes, we will stay 2 metres apart and likely outside.
Saturday April 04 - Drinks
Sunday April 05 - AF
Monday April 06 - AF
Tuesday April 07 - AF - My Tuesdays have changed, no longer working my tail off and stressed out for the first Tuesday "off". Normally my drinks day. I am really battling to get off the March weight gain, and I know that being more AF helps.
Wednesday April 08 - 3 drinks
Thursday April 09 - AF - I need to be AF again tomorrow so as to have at least 2AF days in between. It has been warm and beautiful here, but it is supposed to drop drastically for a week starting Saturday with more snow. I have done work in the garden hoping to get planting soon, but apparently I need to wait.
Friday April 10 - 3 drinks, broke my own rule of always 2AF days in a row. Just didn't have the willpower today I guess.
Saturday April 11 - AF
Sunday April 12 - AF
Monday April 13 - AF
Tuesday April 14 - AF - Tuesdays no longer stress me out because I don't go out to work anymore. I have time to work out more, prepare healthy food, get out on the trails everyday. I do work on my little Amazon business at home and have a learning seminar tomorrow morning early, so AF tonight so that I hopefully absorb a bunch.
Wednesday April 15 - AF - Planned drinks tomorrow. Hey, that was 5 AF days in a row!!
Thursday April 16 - 3 drinks
Friday April 17 - AF - Woke up 2 pounds heavier from having drinks. All the more reason to have lots of AF days. Having said that, I am invited for wine and cheese tomorrow afternoon on my friend's patio where we can stay 6 feet away easily. We'll see. I work very very hard at losing weight and really know that the less alcohol days the better for that.
Saturday April 18 - AF - It was rainy and grey today, so no sitting out on my friend's deck. Tomorrow will be AF also because I have joined a weight challenge that weighs Mondays, so that is my short term motivation to not drink on Sunday. (I seem to gain like 2 pounds the morning after drinking for some reason)
Sunday April 19 - Drinks on my friend's patio in the hot sun after turning over and weeding 2/3 of my snap pea area.
Monday April 20 - AF - Finished the Snap Pea area, very hard work with a shovel, lots of bending, squatting, lunging. I would have enjoyed a drink (or 3), but need 2 AF days in a row at least, so tomorrow too.
Tuesday April 21 - AF - Another afternoon digging in the garden, I really wanted a couple of drinks after that, but I have a learning Webinar tomorrow, and one the next day so I didn't, plus I wanted my 2AF days in a row. Hit the bottom half of my monthly goal today : - )
Wednesday April 22 - AF
Thursday April 23 - Drinks
Friday April 24 - AF - Felt pretty crappy this morning, but weirdly enough really wanted to have drinks tonight. Keeping to my own rule of 2AF days in between.

18AF days out of 24 days so far

Check-in #16: One can sparkling wine and 1 glass Chardonnay while waiting for takeout at our fav local place. Also did some stress eating (mud pie w/ DH). I went back to fav place for a second piece and they comped it to me because I said we were stress eating while watching the news.

@MissMay Happy Anniversary! And belated Happy B-day to @anglilacs!

mainelylisa wrote: »

And awesome anniversary, @NovusDies ! I'm still def emotionally dependent at times. But I'm getting emotional dependent on non-hangover mornings, too.

That definitely helps. I am kind of addicted to how great it feels to wake up early and exercise. That is not something I can easily do if I accidentally have too much and end up hungover. I assume I am a serious lightweight now so sniffing a drink might be too much.

I think a lot of times when I was drinking I was trying to create or recreate one of the times that drinking actually enhanced an experience. Those times were exceedingly rare and now when I look back I realize that letting it get out of hand like it did just really created a lot of really negative memories. Even back in moderation I have had some negative drink experiences because I had more than I needed. I think I *just* realized if I have anymore bad encounters I may not be so resistant to just quitting it.

These threads really have a way of bringing up the truth of the situation.

6:25 am in Vegas another 24 💖@NovusDies I absolutely agree with the drinking to try and recreate the fun times of the past, I can realte to that feeling, fantastic job on your milestone!