Anyone Else “Vet” Friend Requests?

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Replies

  • sardelsa
    sardelsa Posts: 9,812 Member
    I usually will accept with a message or if I recognize them from the forums. If they have an ED and /or post dangerous things I will delete them since that is not constructive for my feed.

    Otherwise I leave it. I am terrible with letting them accumulate and forget to check them though, I have like 345 in my inbox.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
    edited July 2020
    Honestly, it depends on my mood. I'm more likely to delete someone after the fact, for various reasons. Now on facebook I vet a lot more, lol

    I edited to add but then it disappeared. The long and short of it is I dont care about diaries or workouts, and I share a fair amount of pics of my dogs, in particular my great pyrenees.

    All my fun cool friends have left over time, so if you like dog pics.... come on by lol
  • Xiaolongbao
    Xiaolongbao Posts: 854 Member
    I will add folks when a request comes in, yet very picky on deciding who I keep around after about 2 weeks. If you aren't willing to share your diary and don't interact pretty much daily, then I will delete them. It's nothing personal, it's only I dont need folks around me who arent 200% into this. Sounds harsh, sorry.

    This (except I don’t care about the diary sharing). I try to keep my friend list to approximately one page but I accept everyone and actively seek out people who interest me. But I also regularly delete people. No hard feelings but if I’m not having positive interactions with you then I’m getting nothing out of having you as my “friend” so I clear out the space.

    Having done this before, I know I need to be 100% honest with my diary to myself, and I'm not going to do that if other people are looking. And if you don't share your diaries with your friends, I'm not sure what the point is.

    I couldn’t care less if strangers see what I ate but I’m pretty sure very very few people ever look at my diary. I certainly don’t usually bother to look at anyone else’s. I must admit when I enter things it never crosses my mind to wonder if other people will read it.

    But as someone else said a nice aspect of MFP is that you can use it however suits you.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,843 Member
    I would not accept a request without a message unless it is from someone with whom I am very familiar from the forums - and these people send messages anyway.

    I rarely look at my feed and note in my profile that I am a terrible "feed friend."
  • lemurcat2
    lemurcat2 Posts: 7,899 Member
    I ignore my feed, but occasionally I accept friends if I (1) recognize them and don't want to hurt their feelings (this is bad, I should tell them I just don't interact on the feed but would love to be supportive on the forum); and (2) want to exchange PMs with them, since it seems like PMs are not always delivered if those involved are not friends.
  • yirara
    yirara Posts: 9,329 Member
    Oops, I just realized my profile was not visible to other people. Now it is. Now people should be able to read that I don't do friends. Lets see if it makes a difference.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,440 Member
    I do check people out though before I accept

    Me too.. sometimes I make a mistake though and have to delete straight away. :)
  • lx1x
    lx1x Posts: 38,308 Member
    lx1x wrote: »
    Have a list of fr.. some just random request.. I just leave it there. Have only handfull of friends .

    If interact with them on forum.. I might add...

    I vetted this one and I was right to. He's well dodgy 😂
    joking, of course 🤗

    Pfft . 😂
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 7,341 Member
    This is all very interesting. Tbh there’s so much junk on my newsfeed that if people are making legit comments I only find them at random. Wish there was a way to turn off the “so and so earned XX calories”, and so on. It just floods it.

    I had hoped to make some “real” friends here, as I did in the early internet days (still visit with eBay buddies from back in the day!) but this format doesn’t lend itself well.

  • psychod787
    psychod787 Posts: 4,088 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    Yes. I pretty much accept all requests, but don't accept requests from men who have lots and lots of female friends with cute profile pics (but no or vanishingly few male ones). Those are the ones with the highest likelihood that they'll be sending PMs with iffy to inappropriate come-ons, IMO. (Yes, even to their internet granny 🙄 . . . granny don't play that game. 🤣).

    If it's borderline, I check their forum history.

    I'm not at all a good "MFP friend" (don't post much in the status feed, don't reply much to others there, though I try to respond to direct questions people put right on my profile page, and I understand that some people will send a FR in order to send a PM - I do answer PMs, if they're actual questions, not come-ons; and I've told some people to FR me if they want to see what I eat for protein, as a vegetarian).

    Huh... well aunt granny, I'm like 40% men 60% women. Better delete me!😉
  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,224 Member
    This is all very interesting. Tbh there’s so much junk on my newsfeed that if people are making legit comments I only find them at random. Wish there was a way to turn off the “so and so earned XX calories”, and so on. It just floods it.

    I had hoped to make some “real” friends here, as I did in the early internet days (still visit with eBay buddies from back in the day!) but this format doesn’t lend itself well.

    It’s possible. I’ve been here 8 1/2 years and some of my closest friends are people I’ve met here. I’ve met (in person) I think 30-something people from my FL, some just in passing while traveling, some doing races and travels and things.

    As for “vetting” - most of my FL doesn’t even venture into the forums. I’m not sure some of them even know they are here. Most of our activity is in comments on posts (ours and mutual friends). I recognize user names from these conversations. I will occasionally check with some other old timers if it looks like another reincarnation of a certain skeevy dude.

    We chat about all kinds of things. We often describe/discuss workouts in the comments part of the “burned such and such calories doing whatever they did”. We talk about life things-celebrations, successes, challenges & frustrations.

    Some are hosting/joining zoom gatherings during lockdown.

    It’s very rare that anyone on my FL posts a “question” (not like on the forums anyway). We all have struggles and challenges-but it’s never what/how do I do ______. Its more just navigating life and fitting in this health and fitness stuff. And a lot of fun stuff too.

    So it’s possible to make “real” friends here.

    One note: a relatively new “feature” (some places call them bugs) is that messages sent with friend requests aren’t always showing up in the request. Sometimes they (the message) will show on the app or the web (but the same FR will be blank on the other), sometimes the note doesn’t show up anywhere. This is different than the FR not going through at all because the requester used a naughty word in the message. This is just seemingly random. I know instant denial of requests without a message is popular-so I thought I’d pass that along.